Transcript – Episode 181
[Show music begins]
Michael Harle: This is Episode 181 of Alohomora! for March 12, 2016.
[Show music continues]
Michael: Welcome back, listeners, to our global re-read of the Harry Potter series. I am Michael Harle.
Alison Siggard: I am Alison Siggard.
Kat Miller: And I am Kat Miller. And our guest today, well, he’s going to be joining us a little bit later. He’s off practicing some magic.
Michael: Oh, ho, ho!
[Alison laughs]
Kat: Yeah, I don’t know if that gives you any hints or whatnot.
Alison: Wink!
[Michael laughs]
Kat: But he’ll be here later. So for now you get to enjoy the lovely voices of the three of us.
Michael: I’m over here celebrating Professor Lupin’s birthday because we are recording on the 10th. It’s Professor Lupin’s birthday!
Kat: Yeah, I know; it’s so exciting!
[Everyone howls like werewolves]
Kat: My cats are like, “What?”
Michael: [as Hermione] “They only respond to the call of their own kind,” because movie canon.
[Everyone laughs]
Kat: Right, right.
Alison: [laughs] [as Hermione] “Which is coming over here. What did you think about that?”
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Michael: But you see, I love… This was all just happenstance because – as some of you listeners might know – March 9 is my birthday, and so it was… I cannot tell you my excitement when Rowling revealed that Lupin’s birthday was March 10. I just about died because I was like, “My favorite character and we almost share a birthday? That’s amazing! So we’re both Pisces, oh my God!”
[Alison and Kat laugh]
Kat: I mean, we could just say it’s the same day.
Alison: We could.
Kat: I mean, what if you were born – I know you could – [at] 11:59 and he was born at 12:01? It’s basically the same day.
Michael: We’ll go with that.
Kat: Okay, cool.
[Alison laughs]
Michael: I’m going to go with that. See, unfortunately – if we’re speaking technically – I actually share a birthday with Trelawney.
[Alison laughs]
Michael: So… [laughs] which is not as great, but…
Alison: Six of one, half dozen of the other. Just kidding.
[Everyone laughs]
Michael: Well, I suppose… Ooh, and I want to know… Let’s see. This is a sad thing. I’m going to find out a sad thing. How old would Lupin have been today? I’m calculating it out. Lupin would have been… oh, he would have been 56.
Alison: Wow!
Kat: I was going to say, around the same age as Harry’s parents.
Michael: Mm, yeah.
Alison: He’s as old as my parents.
Michael: [He] would have been. [laughs]
Alison: Sorry!
Michael: [laughs] Alison is having a shocking revelation.
Alison: That just changed my whole perspective of things.
Kat: Yeah, she is, isn’t she?
Alison: That’s interesting.
Michael: Of everything. But we should also mention, too… we probably certainly can’t talk about it at length right now, and I’m sure it will come up at least a little bit in our discussion today, but of course as we speak – by the time this releases it will all be done – but as we speak, Rowling is releasing new writings on the world of Harry Potter. Four new writings.
Kat: We’re going to have stuff to talk about!
Alison: Yay!
Michael: I know, right?
Alison: And they’re fascinating, if you’ve read them. They’re all very obviously leading up to Fantastic Beasts something, but they’re really interesting.
Kat: Honestly, I haven’t read them yet, so I don’t know.
Alison: Today’s most of all.
Michael: Today’s, yes. The new revelation today was Rappaport’s Law, which was some big stuff about Ministry of Magic business and law in North American wizarding history, so that was probably the best piece so far.
Alison: Yeah.
Michael: Piece number one… They’ve increased in length as they’ve gone on, and piece number one has already caused quite a bit of controversy.
Kat: I was going to say, should we talk about that for a minute? Because I feel like…
Michael: No, I think that’s totally fair.
Alison: Yeah.
Kat: And I’m not trying to delay our conversation, our recaps, and all of that here, but there has been a lot of controversy about that and none of us are a part of that community really, so I guess it would be hard for us to comment on. But I guess I wanted to acknowledge it for all of those people who feel that, and know that your feelings are valid, so…
Alison and Michael: Oh, yeah.
Michael: And actually, listeners, I suppose it’s worth noting with that that I was actually the guest on SpeakBeasty for Episode 7, and we talked quite a bit at length about the appropriation of cultural beliefs and traditions that occurred here. And for my part, I will simply say that I believe that… while I believe that Rowling made a mistake, I think it’s important to acknowledge that, and that it’s okay because she’s human; she’s not infallible. And hopefully this will open the door for further discussion about things like these because I know that what Rowling did was… and I think a lot of people do understand what she did was not out of malice; it was out of ignorance. But this is a mistake that can be corrected and that can be fixed, I believe, with further discussion about that issue.
Kat: Mhm.
Alison: Yeah, agreed.
Michael: Alison, what were you going to say?
Alison: I do understand where people are coming from and I totally respect that. Some of it is my training, though, my education; that I look at it from a literature standpoint.
Michael: Mhm.
Alison: And I look at it very much from a mythological standpoint, which… The point and the core of mythology has always been [that] the teller changes the tale to fit their own needs [and] their own viewpoints, so while I do think… [While] I did see some problematic things in [her writing], I think some of it may have come from simply the most accepted versions of those tales or the more correct – for want of a better word – versions of those tales. Those cultures haven’t been made very public yet, and so it could be coming off of just bad information, but she has throughout all of… I mean, [in] the Harry Potter books she uses a lot of European, Greek, [and] Roman mythology and folklore in it, and so as a student of literature and mythology, that’s how I see it. I do see the problematic elements in it, but that’s where I would say she’s coming from mostly; is mythology in the tradition of mythology, which is to…
Kat: Sure.
Alison: Yeah.
Kat: And I think that that’s also a very valid lens and I think that that’s part of the beauty and part of the problem with pretty much everything in the world, right?
Alison: Exactly.
Kat: It’s all about perspective and the lens that you’re looking at things through.
Alison: Mhm.
Michael: Yeah, and I think that’s an important distinction because, of course, I think the debate comes from the fact that, while perhaps some people may view these Native American traditions that she took and used as mythology, a lot of different Native American tribes do not view it as mythology.
Alison: Yeah, yeah.
Michael: And I think that’s where they’re butting heads on this issue.
Alison: Mythology, in the sense of… well, I could get super technical about it…
Michael: Storytelling.
Alison: Yeah, in the way that you could call… I mean, in the US, what a lot of people think of… you could call Judo-Christian beliefs… they would fit under the dictionary definition of “mythology” but that’s a whole other conversation that goes into a whole lot of other things, but… [laughs]
Michael: So we just hope… because I’m sure it will come up with our listeners in the comment section. I’ve already seen a few people talking about the new content. But I hope… I certainly hope, too that the conversations that our listeners have – I’m sure they will be because I’m always impressed by our listeners – will be respectful and will keep in mind both sides of the argument, and do your research. I think the best part that can come out of this is that you can… and what I think can always come out of Rowling’s writings is that she opens our eyes up to things we didn’t know about before, and in this case there is a whole large community whose voices are now coming to the forefront, who perhaps haven’t been listened to before.
Alison: And I think that’s awesome. I think that’s great.
Michael: Yeah.
Alison: That’s what literature should do.
Michael: And speaking of literature and Rowling’s writing, that’s what we’re here to talk about. We won’t quite venture off into those new writings right now – again, you can check out the newest episode of SpeakBeasty for that – but here on Alohomora! we are about to dive into Chapter 30 of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, “The Sacking of Severus Snape.” So please make sure and read – or probably most likely reread – that chapter to be properly caught up with our discussion today.
Kat: You guys know the drill. As usual, before we head into this week’s chapter, we are going to go through some comments from last week’s chapter, which was of course Chapter 29 of Deathly Hallows. And I was so happy – and I’m always happy – to see that there were so many new usernames commenting this week. So welcome, all of you new commenters, whether you are just joining the Alohomora! party or you’ve just been too – I don’t know – nervous to say something before.
Michael: [in a British accent] Welcome, welcome, to another chapter of Alohomora! [laughs]
Kat: Exactly. Our first comment here comes from a new username, and it is Slyvenpuffdor, [pronounces it as “sly-venpufdor”] I believe.
Michael: Wouldn’t it be Slyvenpuffdor? [pronounces it as “slivenpuffdor”]
Kat: Oh, yeah. You’re probably right.
Michael: Yeah.
Kat: I’m terrible at pronouncing things, so…
[Michael laughs]
Kat: Slyvenpuffdor. Okay, cool. It says,
”I think it is rather strange that the Room of Requirement didn’t path to the kitchens. This is the first time we see the Room exercising its power outside of itself, and if it can do this, what really are its limitations? Is the Room of Requirement the most powerful, magical artifact in existence? It can save infinite versions of itself, incorporating different variations of its internal structure and contents to meet the desire of any witch or wizard, and now it can carve a path to Hogsmeade through stone?”
So what do you think? [laughs]
Michael: I’m with Slyvenpuffdor in that. What the F?
[Kat and Michael laugh]
Michael: How does the Room of Requirement get so much power all of a sudden when it really did not show evidence that it could do something like this? It is stretching its power beyond the school boundaries because even though we know Hogsmeade is part of that community, I think we consider the Hogwarts boundaries the place where you can’t Apparate past.
Kat: Right.
Michael: And they’ve had… we know that there [are], of course, tunnels to Hogsmeade, but it’s assumed that somebody made those, whereas this is implied that the magic of the Room made it. I’ve always found this a big no-no and that it’s just like, “Well, the circumstances were special, and plot. So here’s a tunnel.” But…
Kat: Yeah, I liked Eric’s theory of the wormhole, honestly. I thought that that was probably the most plausible for me.
Michael: Well, why not? We have spaces that… we have these Undetectable Extension Charms that make space where there is no space, right?
Kat: Right, exactly.
Michael: So maybe there is something similar to that going on here.
Kat: I hope so. Otherwise, the Room of Requirement truly is the most powerful magical artifact in existence. For real.
Michael: It is funny, though, that as Slyvenpuffdor and I think a lot of listeners pointed out – and you guys talked about last week – why didn’t the Room just go to the kitchens if what they wanted was food?
Kat: Yeah.
Michael: I’m assuming it didn’t because it’s possible that the Death Eaters who are employed at the school might occasionally go down to the kitchens. I’m guessing that’s the case because they do have free access to it and I imagine they’re probably going down there to keep the house-elves in line. So…
Kat: I was just thinking about this because I was thinking about how magically powerful this is. Do you think anyone’s ever gone in there and said, “I need 100 Galleons”?
Michael: Well, and I can’t remember… have we seen it happen where somebody actually…? Oh, no. We have. Never mind. I was about to ask…
Kat: Yeah, Hermione says, “I wish there was a whistle,” and then the whistle popped up.
Michael: Well, and I was going to say, “Can you ask for those things and then take them out of the Room?” But theoretically, you can because of the Room of Many Things. You can. But we still don’t have confirmation. I really liked your idea, Kat, back in Order, that the Room isn’t pulling from just the nothingness [or] from the non-being. It’s pulling from the Room of Many Things.
Kat: Right.
Michael: So that’s hard to say, though. God, I don’t know. The implication, too… Part of it – and you guys talked about this a little bit too last week – is the idea that the Room… does the Room know who’s using it? Is the Room working together with that idea of self-preservation of Hogwarts itself? Because Hogwarts seems to have a sense of self-preservation from time to time.
Kat: I would say yes, that the Room is part of Hogwarts and therefore it has the same mission as the rest of the castle.
Michael: Which is interesting because Malfoy uses it against the school in Half-Blood.
Kat: But the Room of Requirement doesn’t know, probably, that he’s doing anything in there other than “hiding something.”
Michael: That’s true because he didn’t have to be so specific because there’s so much stuff in the Room of Many Things.
Kat: Right, and also, even with the DA, Neville is really looking for a place to hide, and for people to be there.
Michael: Yeah.
Kat: So the Room doesn’t necessarily either know that there’s a war going on or that something’s going on. It only knows that it’s hiding people and giving them a place to sleep and pee, in this case. I don’t know. I was just thinking about the Weasleys. They could solve all their problems if they could go in this room and say, “Give us a million Galleons.” I don’t know.
Michael: I feel like the Room of Requirement is akin to Genie in Aladdin where it probably does have limitations.
Kat: Probably. Can’t bring anyone back from the dead or make you fall in love.
Michael No. Yeah. [laughs]
Kat: Right, I got it. Can’t wish for more wishes.
Michael: [in a raspy voice] “Can’t bring people back from the dead. I don’t like doing that.”
[Kat and Michael laugh]
Kat: Okay, moving on to our next comment here.
[Michael laughs]
Kat: Another new username, from DreamLumos30. That sounds like a previous Potter username.
Michael: Yeah, that sounds like a very Pottermore username.
Kat: RIP, Pottermore. Okay, the comment says,
”Regarding the Room of Requirement and the absence of Slytherin representation – I think this was a stark way for JKR to show us how sad it is when we fight amongst ourselves, or when we engage in any type of civil war. This has happened so many times in our history as humans: that some teeny tiny difference in our DNA can cause us to turn on each other. I do see the absence of Slytherin in the Battle of Hogwarts as a demonstration of civil war. We read in our history books how brother turned on brother in opposition of slavery during the American Civil War, and while no one wants to believe that anyone would ever support the idea of slavery, it’s a sad truth. It happened. Similarly…”
Another word I can’t ever say.
”… it’s hard for us as fans – especially, I’m sure, for Slytherin fans – to accept that a subset of people, led by Slytherin house, and our quote, “home,” Hogwarts, were fighting to subjugate an entire race of people.”
So this is funny because obviously, we talked about it last week and we’re going to see it coming up in the next chapter, as well, when McGonagall tells Slughorn to, basically, “Get your poop together.”
Michael: Verbatim. That is definitely what she said. [as McGonagall] “Get your poop together!”
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Kat: I didn’t want to swear. I’m trying to be family friendly, okay?
[Michael laughs]
Alison: Oh, so first of all: Civil War. All I can think about is Captain America…
[Michael laughs]
Alison: … because Captain America.
Michael: I’m so glad you said that, Alison…
Kat: We’re such predictable nerds.
Michael: … because this comment is so beautiful, and I was sitting here listening to it. I love the historical stuff that’s brought up in this comment. It’s so well done, but all I can think of…
[Alison laughs]
Michael: … and it’s so mortifying to me because this trailer came out today, but all I can think of is Captain America and Iron Man and Spider-Man.
Alison: I know.
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Alison: And Bucky.
Michael: And Bucky.
Alison: Oh, Bucky.
Michael: And all of them because they were all in that trailer.
Alison: I know.
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Alison: Anyway, that’s not… that’s a different podcast.
Michael: Shame, shame. Shame on us. Goodness gracious. [laughs]
Alison: Okay. Blame Disney for this one. Blame Marvel for that.
[Michael laughs]
Alison: Anyway, I think what I was thinking about this one was… I don’t know if I would say, “Differences in DNA.” I think I would say more, “Differences in perspective,” like we were talking [about] before with the new Pottermore information. I feel like this speaks to people seeing things from different perspectives, and sadly, there are people that refuse to try and understand other people’s perspectives, even if they don’t agree with them; to try and listen to other people and see where they’re coming from. And I think that’s something that really comes up in here, and that if you refuse to see other people’s perspective, it can never end well and you get this brother-on-brother fighting where people just can’t come to an agreement or an understanding or even just trying to see from the other side.
Kat: Yeah, [unwillingness] to change or grow or learn.
Michael: Yeah, and I think it’s important that it goes the way it does. I think you guys really broke it down very well last week, the idea that even if there are – well, to the Slytherins they would be dissenters – people who support Harry’s cause, they would be drowned out by the majority of the Slytherins because I do think, in this particular setup, the majority of the Slytherins either are leaning toward Voldemort’s view or they’re at the very least undecided like Slughorn.
Kat: Yeah.
Michael: And I think a lot of listeners were mentioning that parents of some of these Slytherins might be already involved in the war, so it’s… yeah. I think it works this way, and Rowling very not so tidily [is] trying to clean it up, like she did to make the Hufflepuffs feel better. [laughs]
Kat: Yeah.
Michael: She’s done a lot… well, it’s true. She did a lot of damage control for Hufflepuff post-Potter and I think she’s done a lot of damage control post-Potter for Slytherin, too. But I think, in a way, it depends. And we’ll get into this, perhaps, when we get to the epilogue, but I think Harry… by the time of the epilogue, Harry has come to the understanding of… I think Harry has come to understand Slytherin House and its complexities a lot more based on what he says to Albus, so… and it depends on how you choose to read the epilogue – of how you see how Slytherin has evolved for the other characters – but yeah. I think it is important, though, that Slytherin gets this really thrown back in their face at this point because the history that’s been built up around Slytherin merits it. This has been a long-standing issue for this House.
Kat: Indeed it has. When you brought up Albus – this has nothing to do with anything – I just thought of this. One of my favorite memes on the entirety of the Internet is about a girl who got her Deathly Hallows book, dropped it or something, and it opened to one of the last pages…
Michael: I saw you posted that. [laughs]
Kat: … and she saw a line that says, “Ginny kisses Albus,” and she was like, “Whoa, plot twist.” And I just…
Michael: “Effing plot twist.” [laughs]
Kat: It makes me laugh so hard because it’s… I mean, I don’t know. It’s just funny.
[Michael laughs]
Kat: Anyway, our last comment here comes from a tried and true user, SnapesManyButtons, and the comment says,
“When Neville says they were sneaking out and putting graffiti on the walls and such, he notes that ‘Snape hated it.’ But knowing now that Snape had promised Albus he’d protect the students the best he could, I think he hated it because he couldn’t get away with giving lighter punishments for those kinds of offenses if anyone got caught (like with Michael Corner). There was only so much he could do and still keep his cover with Voldemort, and if he was removed as Headmaster there’d be no protection for the students at all.”
Okay, it’s going to happen. I’m going to agree with this comment and give Snape the benefit of the doubt.
Michael: I’m sure Snape is saying very… I’m sure Snape is attributing some very horrible phrases and words to Neville and the group [laughs] when he’s thinking about how they’re screwing up his plans.
Kat: Well, he hates Neville anyway, right? So…
Michael: Yes, he does. Yes, so… I mean, there’s still no love for these characters from Snape, or any like, even. But yeah, I think in a way they’re… you could say they’re making his job more difficult.
Kat: Of course, yeah. Unknowingly, too, which…
Michael: Unknowingly, yeah. Absolutely. But yeah, because we saw the way that Snape punished Ginny and Neville for trying to steal Gryffindor’s sword is he was like, [as Snape] “Go to the forest with Hagrid. Have a fun party in there. Do whatever you want.”
Kat: [laughs] Right.
Michael: And he can’t… yeah, like SnapesManyButtons said, he can’t get away with doing that every time anymore, so… And I think, more than anything, it’s getting harder for him to… it goes back to him promising Dumbledore that he would keep the students safe. I think that’s the part that’s frustrating him most of all.
Kat: Of course. Comes to a head in the next chapter, too, right? Oh, boy.
Michael: Oh, boy!
Kat: But that’s it. [Those are] our recap comments from last week’s episode. Of course, you can keep the conversation going over at alohomora.mugglenet.com. There [are] so many comments that I couldn’t read. There was one that I probably… if I printed it, it’s like a novel. So go over and check them out. Keep the conversation going because it’s good. Our listeners rock but you guys knew that already.
Alison: So before we jump into our chapter, we want to go over some other amazing comments you guys left this week on our Podcast Question of the Week responses. So just…
Michael: Talk about novel length comments.
Alison: Yeah. Guys, you make my job so hard.
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Alison: You put a million different things in there that are so long and good, so that’s why everyone has to go read them. But just to remind you of what the question was this week, it was, “Neville Longbottom steps forward in this chapter as a real figurehead, a leader for the students who remain at Hogwarts, inside and outside of the Room of Requirement. The last time that we saw Neville was at Dumbledore’s funeral, back in Half-Blood Prince. Neville states that there has been quite a drastic change, through which he seems to have risen to the unique challenge and excelled. What has been the major motivation for this evolution of Neville into a surrogate Harry? What did that process look like?” So our first comment comes from DisKid, who says,
”Neville always had it in him. The Sorting Hat knew that, which is why he was sorted into Gryffindor. I believe that in order for Neville to realize his full potential, he had to be in a situation that called for it. We start to see Neville come out of his shell during the fifth book and after. I believe Neville began to realize the greater good of the wizarding world was being threatened, just like when his parents joined the order. His parents were brave people who fought for the greater good, which gave him motivation to carry on the legacy they started as the situation has now come again where the wizarding world needs people like them. With Neville now determined to live up to his parents legacy, not to mention a little help from the DA, this also gave him more confidence, which was what he needed to cast better spells. He needed the right situation, the right support, and the right amount of confidence. Put ’em all together and we have Neville the hero.”
Michael: So I like this comment because I was… the first part of the comment strikes me because it’s about the Sorting Hat; the mention of the Sorting Hat. And I think that’s so interesting because I was thinking of the issue of how the Sorting Hat saw this potential in Neville, even though as we know from Rowling, Neville really was insistent that he wanted to be in Hufflepuff and that the Sorting Hat ignored him on that and insisted that he stay in Gryffindor. And on the flip side of that, we have what we’re going to hear soon in the coming chapters about how Dumbledore says to Snape that, “Maybe we Sort too soon,” suggesting that the Sorting Hat determines things about somebody’s personality too early in life and doesn’t necessarily Sort correctly. And so that’s funny just thinking about that in terms of Neville, [whom] the Sorting Hat didn’t… Neville is not a case of the Sorting Hat Sorting too soon.
Alison: Yeah.
Michael: The Sorting Hat is foreseeing this in Neville, which is funny just because… and I know that’s more to the point of the Sorting Hat but I just think that’s really interesting that the Hat saw this in him, whereas the Hat is very insistent with Snape on being in Slytherin. And as you know, Rowling has also confirmed that the Sorting Hat stands by its choices and its convictions. And Harry himself talked to the Sorting Hat in Chamber and the Sorting Hat even said, [as the Sorting Hat] “Well, you would have done well in Slytherin but I put you in Gryffindor because you really wanted it. So it’s fine.”
[Alison laughs]
Michael: So yeah, I thought that was an interesting piece as far as Neville goes.
Alison: Yeah, I think a lot of people mentioned all the things where we’ve seen the seeds of Neville’s bravery and just how this is the… [it’s] all coming to fruition at this moment when he just decides it’s time to step up.
Michael: Well, and I like that the comment references Book 5 because I think that’s definitely the most obvious point to reference because it’s not only Neville coming into his own with Dumbledore’s Army and having that tutelage from Harry, but also because his story about his parents comes to the forefront. And I think that’s such an important aspect of his development, as well.
Alison: Yeah. And the situation with Neville’s parents is what our next comment is about. It’s from Laurel Phoenix, who says,
“I think Neville has always had it in him to be the leader he has become. The thing is he needs to be given an opportunity to show it. He has shown signs of innate leadership qualities throughout the series, even when faced with insurmountable odds. He stands up to Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle as well as the trio in PS/SS, he comes to Ginny’s rescue when faced with the Inquisitorial Squad and volunteers to go to the Ministry to rescue Sirius in OOTP, and volunteers to stand guard watching the Room of Requirement in HBP. He has been growing as a leader throughout the series, tapping into his potential as he was presented with opportunities to lead. This year Neville has been presented with a prime opportunity to lead, whether he wanted it or not. Neville understands the need for hope and resistance in times of war and I think that may be a part of what motivates him to step up and be that hope. He does have Ginny and Luna by his side at first, but he proves himself just as capable on his own when they are both removed from Hogwarts. I also think Neville has some personal feelings that motivated him to step into his leadership role. He has personal experience with the effects of the Cruciatus Curse can have on someone. We’ve seen Neville react to observing the Cruciatus Curse in action, and I doubt those feelings will have lessened over the years. He got to see first hand the agony his parents went through and I’m sure that stuck with him. Being told to perform the very curse that took his parents from him on innocent children would have been something Neville could not condone. If Neville had needed motivation to step up and lead, I think that would have been it.”
Michael: So I like this comment. In the same way that the previous comment referenced Order of the Phoenix as the major turning point for Neville, I like that this comment references Sorcerer’s Stone and Philosopher’s Stone with those early moments that we saw of Neville. Again, going back to that discussion about the Sorting Hat, that Neville always… we see that Neville always had that potential in him to be this person. He didn’t… while Order of the Phoenix, I think, is that major turning point, that’s not where it started.
Kat: Yeah, and I think, too, that the major differences and Harry’s strengths and weaknesses are Neville’s weaknesses and strengths.
Michael: Yes.
Kat: I think that where Harry is… he’ll take help from Ron and Hermione; he won’t take it from anybody else. Neville is obviously crowd-sourcing this whole thing. He is pulling help from everywhere that he can possibly pull help from and I think that that’s a big strength that Harry most certainly lacks.
Alison and Michael: Yeah.
Alison: I also like how this one… going back to the idea of how Neville wanted to be in Hufflepuff, I like… Neville has so much empathy, which I think is something that Harry misses out on sometimes.
Michael: Mhm.
Alison: Harry is more action based; “Let’s go out, let’s save the world,” whereas Neville is going to care about the more quiet moments. He cares about people as individuals. He’s going to be a little bit more sensitive [and] more empathetic to people. And I think that’s really one of his strengths. And I think that’s how we see him step up to be a leader; [it’s] through caring about taking care of people, [and] making sure other people don’t get hurt the way that he’s seen people get hurt throughout his childhood with his parents [and] throughout his time at school.
Michael: To tie Lupin into this – because I want to mention Lupin as much as possible since we’re recording on his birthday – I think that’s what makes Neville so appealing and so interesting as a character because as a male character in fantasy… because he’s like Lupin, who is also in this way untraditional. He’s very sensitive. First and foremost, he’s not a fighter. He’s about other people and very observant of other people’s talents, abilities, [and] needs. And he’s – like you said, Alison – empathetic, which is always to me, personally, refreshing to see in male characters. And I think that’s why I really like Neville, especially in the books, because he’s so much that. Like you said, you can easily see the Hufflepuff in him.
Alison: Well, thank you, everyone. We want to thank you for all of your wonderful comments. Shout-out to Hufflepuffskein for basically a narrative of what happened during this – you should all go read that – and for everyone else for your amazing comments. Head on over to alohomora.mugglenet.com to check them all out.
Kat: And so I guess since we’re done with our recap, we should bring on our guest. What do you guys think?
Michael: Sure.
Kat: All right, because three’s a crowd but four’s a party, and on Alohomora! we party.
Michael: [laughs] Is he all done practicing magic?
Kat: I think so. I think so, so I guess we’ll bring him on now. And he’s kind of awesome, so I think I’m going to let him introduce himself. So take it away, special guest.
[Everyone laughs]
Arjun Gupta: What’s up, everybody? My name is Arjun Gupta. I play Penny on The Magicians, which is probably where most people know me from. I’ve been asked a lot over the last few weeks how to introduce myself and I guess I consider myself first and foremost an artist. I also produce things. I run a theater company out here in LA called Ammunition Theater Company. I have my own podcast called American Desis. And I call myself a service member. I don’t really subscribe to the title “activist.” I don’t know why. I just like service member; it feels like it resonates more for me. And I’m also a Harry Potter nerd, y’all.
Kat: Yeah!
Arjun: I remember MuggleNet back in the day when I was reading these books, and the book would end and I would go to MuggleNet saying, “Yo! Someone tell me what’s going to happen next because I can’t wait this long wait to get the next book.”
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Kat: Wow.
Arjun: So I’m going to nerd out and say, “Yo, I’m happy to be a part of this family for a minute.”
Kat: Awesome. And some other Potter fans might know you because you worked with one of our favorite people, Alfie, on How to Get Away With Murder, yes?
Arjun: Oh, word! Yeah, Alfie. Yeah, he’s a good dude. I love that dude.
Kat: I do, too.
Arjun: He’s a good dancer. I don’t know if you all know that. He’s a good dancer.
Alison: Really?
Kat: I didn’t know that.
Arjun: Yeah, now you do.
Kat: Now I do. Cool.
Arjun: I don’t know if he would say the same thing but I would say it.
[Alison and Kat laugh]
Kat: Totally. Well, thank you so much for joining us today.
Arjun: Thank you.
Alison: And we just want to remind everyone, before we dive on into this chapter, that we are on Patreon. And this episode is sponsored by Jim Boyce, so thank you so much for sponsoring us. We really appreciate it, so thank you for keeping us going.
Michael: Yay, Jim!
Alison: And if you want to become a sponsor, it’s as little as $1 a month. Just head on over to alohomora.mugglenet.com to our Patreon page there. And our post-Hallows plans were just released to our sponsors, so if you want the inside scoop before everyone else, head on over and give us a sponsor.
Arjun: Jim, man, you’re killing the game right now, bro. That’s what I feel about you right now. You’re killing the game.
[Kat and Michael laugh]
Michael: Look at that, Jim, you got a special shout-out from a celebrity.
Kat: That’s right. Cool.
[Kat and Michael laugh]
Arjun: Am I a celebrity? Has that happened?
Michael: You are totally a celebrity.
[Alison laughs]
Kat: For real.
Michael: [laughs] Did nobody tell you that?
Arjun: I mean, what is the point when you become a celebrity?
Kat: I don’t know. Influence.
Arjun: I’ve co-opted your podcast, so you can shut me up and take it back, but I don’t understand that. That’s funny to me.
[Michael laughs]
Arjun: All right. So Jim, yeah, a celebrity is saying, “Yo, what up? Thank you.”
[Everyone laughs]
Arjun: I’m a celebrity now; [I’ve] got to talk in the third person, right?
Kat: Yes.
Michael: That’s right.
Arjun: That’s how it works?
Kat: For sure.
Michael: Yes. If Harry had done things right, he would have been talking in the third person all the time. He just didn’t know how to be a celebrity very well.
Arjun: He started acting out in this book a little bit.
Kat: A little bit, yes.
Michael: [laughs] [as Harry] “Harry is going to defeat Lord Voldemort.”
[Kat and Michael laugh]
Arjun: This is what I love about what they did; that she really let Harry Potter be a [censored] 16-year-old. I probably shouldn’t curse. But he’s a 16-year-old, he’s a 17-year-old, and he’s put the weight of the world on him and, of course, he’s not going to be very flawless throughout. He messes up a lot.
Michael: Mhm.
Kat: Indeed he does.
Michael: Well, yes, and actually, speaking of that… [laughs] That’s a perfect segue into our chapter discussion for Chapter 30 of Deathly Hallows.
[Deathly Hallows Chapter 30 intro begins]
McGonagall: Piertotum Locomotor! Chapter 30.
[Sounds of stone statues coming to life and marching]
McGonagall: “The Sacking of Severus Snape.”
[Marching continues]
[Deathly Hallows Chapter 30 intro ends]
Michael: Following a narrow escape from the Carrows, thanks to the intervention of Professor McGonagall, the deputy headmistress sends Snape packing in a spectacular, if short, duel, before gathering the Heads of Houses and a few dozen statues to secure the castle. With the beginnings of a battle plan laid out, but no helpful leads on Ravenclaw’s diadem, Harry and Luna return to the Room of Requirement to find a host of familiar faces ready for battle. But by far, the most surprising face in the crowd is Percy, repenting for the error of his ways and ready to stand by his family in the fight against Voldemort, who has finally arrived at the Hogwarts gates with far fewer Horcruxes than he once had.
Arjun: Oh my God.
[Michael laughs]
Arjun: Michael, your voice is… holy, my goodness.
Michael: Well, wow.
Arjun: Just talk for an hour, Michael. Good lord.
Michael: [laughs] Wow. That’s very nice to hear from somebody with such a beautiful voice as yours. That’s… wow, I’m…
Arjun: Hey, girls, will you all just separate for a little bit? You all just go do your thing.
[Everyone laughs]
Kat: Leave you alone with Michael? Sure. Sure.
Alison: [laughs] Yeah, okay.
Michael: So before we even get into some of the big character moments in this chapter, I wanted to talk about… because we get to see a lot of interesting magic that we haven’t seen in this chapter, which is interesting because this isn’t the first battle chapter. This is pretty much the lead-up to the battle chapter, and already we’re seeing magic we haven’t seen before. First piece that was interesting, that I had completely forgotten about: McGonagall uses a messenger Patronus and she doesn’t just conjure one cat; she conjures three at one time. I totally forgot that you can do that.
Kat: Yeah, it’s like carbon copy on an email.
Alison and Michael: Yeah.
Michael: [laughs] You can CC people with a Patronus.
[Alison laughs]
Kat: Well, I’m pretty sure it was all the same message, right? It wasn’t a different message for everybody. So that’s probably why.
Michael: No, I don’t think so. But I thought that was interesting because we’ve never seen Patronuses copied for battle or for defense.
Kat: Right. Sure.
Michael: You conjure one and it attacks all the targets over time.
Kat: Mhm.
Michael: Is it possible, though, that you could conjure a Patronus…? Why can you conjure multiple Patronuses for messaging but not for combat?
Kat: Ooh.
Arjun: Do you need more than one for combat? Because I remember when Harry sent out his Patronus for those hundred Dementors, wasn’t it huge? So wasn’t it the size of the Patronus maybe more than the number that really impacted?
Michael: Not necessarily, because…
Alison: Yeah, that’s what I was thinking, too. I know she said before that size doesn’t necessarily equate to how powerful it is.
Michael: No.
Alison: I wonder… yeah, I wonder if it is just… and I wonder, if you’re being attacked, if it’s harder to make more or if separating them like that makes them less powerful in some way.
Michael: Mhm. Well, yeah. Maybe… yeah, maybe the power diminishes. Well, because obviously, in this case, they’re not even being used for combat, so maybe they don’t need as much power behind them when they’re just doing that versus if you’re using them.
Kat: I have a feeling that it’s actually probably different spells being used. I don’t think that McGonagall is saying “Expecto Patronum” in her head and then sending out the little messaging cats. It’s probably some different spell that uses a Patronus.
Michael: Well, I was wondering that, too because we… whenever anybody has ever used a messaging Patronus in the books, as far as I can recall, they don’t actually say, “Expecto Patronum.” They just… of course, all of these witches and wizards that do it tend to be talented at nonverbal magic anyway. So it’s not really… who knows what’s canon in that respect? But it was cool just because I totally had forgotten that you could summon multiple Patronuses at once to do a messaging system.
Kat: Oh, cool.
Alison: Yeah. Have we seen that happen before?
Kat and Michael: No.
Kat: And we won’t ever again.
[Alison, Kat, and Michael laugh]
Alison: McGonagall is just a boss, that’s all.
Michael: Maybe in Fantastic Beasts, but of course, the Patronuses don’t look at all the same in the movies that they do in the books. But also, Voldemort, we see through Harry’s visions, is actually going to visit the cave where he kept the locket. And I know we had pondered a few things about the magic going on in the cave. One thing that I found interesting is that Voldemort, despite the fact that he can fly – and we had talked at the time about how much Voldemort can override the magic he created in that cave – he still has to get in the boat and ride it. [laughs] He couldn’t override it. He couldn’t just fly over to the little island, which, I mean…
Arjun: That makes sense to me because if he could do it, then he knows that Dumbledore… I mean, he had to have built all of those for… because he had to know that Dumbledore was going to figure this out. I mean, he had to, and he had to build it so that… because wasn’t that his only rival in his head? Throughout his existence?
Michael: Perhaps not by the point that he had put the locket in that cave. But that is a… I mean, he did… Dumbledore supposed that Voldemort… If [Voldemort] ever thought somebody would come after the Horcrux, [they] would have to be extremely powerful, like Dumbledore. So I guess that makes sense. It was always funny to me that Voldemort couldn’t completely just override everything; like there’s not a backdoor system for this setup.
[Kat laughs]
Michael: But he also… what’s interesting is he actually has the ability to make the potion see-through because it’s mentioned that the potion is turning clear.
Alison: I think that has got to be part of the magic of the potion, is that he can make it clear to see if everything’s okay without drinking it. So I wonder if it’s one of those things [where] whoever creates the potion can do that, or…
Michael: That’s crazy.
Alison: But now I’m trying to think… Doesn’t Dumbledore do that?
Kat and Michael: No.
Alison: Can’t they see the locket at the bottom?
Kat: Nuh-uh.
Alison: Maybe I’m just thinking of the movie.
Kat: You are. [laughs]
Alison: Okay.
Michael: Yeah. Because from what I recollect in the book, the potion is green and they can’t see through [it]. When Harry first gets a glimpse of the locket, that’s the first time they see it. Dumbledore just supposes that it’s down there. So I thought that was interesting, too, that – like you said, Alison – we’re encountering a potion where it seems that only the person who made it can control certain things about its appearance.
Kat: Well, he also is the only one who knows what it actually is.
Michael: That’s true.
Alison: Yeah, that’s true.
Kat: And I wonder if it’s made of water from the lake. I mean, that could be water if it’s clear, right? No?
Michael: Water with some other pretty messed-up stuff in it. [laughs]
Kat: Yeah.
[Alison laughs]
Arjun: Well, not if it [were] water, then if it [were] something like a liquid that anyone could see through it, then Dumbledore and Harry wouldn’t have… they would have seen that it wasn’t necessarily the same locket.
Kat: Yeah, that’s true.
Michael: Yeah, that’s what I figured.
Arjun: And they wouldn’t have had to drink through… they wouldn’t have had to go through that whole ordeal.
Michael: Yeah. See, that’s why I thought it was impressive: because Voldemort is the only one who can change the look of the potion. Dumbledore couldn’t even figure that out.
Arjun: Wait, is it not Voldemort with the T?
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Michael: Kat, you explain that to Arjun because you’re the purveyor of that.
Kat: Sure. So actually his name is French and the T is silent. So it’s “Vol-de-mor.”
Arjun: Really?
Kat: Yeah. It means “flight from death.” Yeah. In French.
Arjun: Oh, cool. Oh, you French. Ah, you French.
[Kat and Michael laugh]
Michael: J.K. Rowling recently lamented that she was probably the only person in the world who called him Voldemort and didn’t pronounce the T, so now some of us have tried to help her out by pronouncing it correctly.
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Kat: But I have always pronounced it that way, for the record.
Michael: Yeah, Kat was the one that, from the beginning, always pronounced it “Vol-de-mor.”
Kat: That’s right. Street cred.
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Arjun: There you go.
[Everyone laughs]
Michael: I’m getting used to pronouncing it “Vol-de-mor,” but of course, then I watch the movies and that totally ruins it.
Alison: Yeah, I think it just rubs off.
[Michael laughs]
Kat: Yeah. Exactly.
Michael: Now, another big piece of Dark magic that we see here – interestingly, not being used by the bad guys here – both Harry and McGonagall use Unforgivables in this chapter. Harry uses Crucio and McGonagall uses Imperio. And I know there was talk afterward… and there’s still talk now in the fandom about… some fans have actually expressed a disappointment that Harry uses Unforgivables.
Arjun: I’m going to jump in, man. I’m so jacked up.
Michael: Please do.
Arjun: I was so jacked up when I read that.
[Michael laughs]
Arjun: I forgot how… I don’t know. When you stand up for your elders, when you stand up for your mentors… I don’t know; there’s nothing like… yes, granted, [it’s] not a cool thing to do in general, but the man was going to mess up McGonagall! Like, come on!
[Kat and Michael laugh]
Arjun: Step up and do something about it! And to me, Crucio… listen. He didn’t kill [anybody]. And he [wasn’t] Snape-wise with that Sectumsempra; is that how you say it? He didn’t do that craziness. He basically tasered him. He tasered the man.
[Michael laughs]
Arjun: Deal with it. You’re a douchebag. You deserve it.
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Kat: No, you’re right. And I had the same reaction [when] I read it this time.
Arjun: I was so jacked up.
Alison: Me, too.
Kat: I read it and I was like, “Yes!”
Alison: It’s one of those things where it’s like, “This is war.” To some extent you have to do what you have to do to protect your people because this is war. This is really a moment where you really start to see that. In this next chapter, things are just going to explode. And so this is the beginning of that, where it’s like sometimes you have to use things you wouldn’t normally use because you’re in dire circumstances.
Arjun: The thing about Harry Potter, throughout the thing, is that he couldn’t even… and it messed him up in the beginning when he used Expelliarmus on Stan instead of trying to Stun him, right?
Michael: Mhm.
Arjun: And that got him in trouble. But even at the end, he always… he went from a place of compassion. I just don’t think it’s fair to… look, McGonagall… and listen, and this is the beauty of McGonagall and this is the beauty of having teachers, and this is what I was saying about letting Harry be a 17-year-old dude who messes up and throws the punch when he shouldn’t have. And he’s a kid. And when you’re a kid and you want to be a leader there are going to be times when you make mistakes and you punch somebody when you shouldn’t have, when words would have worked or you could have Stunned him or you could have used a more non-violent action. Sure. But that’s what I love, is that McGonagall then immediately is like, “You shouldn’t have done that,” right?
Alison: Yeah.
Arjun: And she went and she immediately stayed and was always a teacher and that was the next thing that I loved about that moment[;] I was like, “Yes! Let’s celebrate the teachers we have right now because that’s dope.”
Michael: Well, and then following his example, she’s just like [as McGonagall], ”All right, well, Imperio.”
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Kat: Yeah, exactly.
Michael: So it’s all gone downhill from there anyway because she uses Imperio, as we know, on Amycus to get the wands from both of them.
Arjun: Yeah, and this is… but again, she used Imperio to get him to tie himself up. She didn’t get him to do Imperio to go kill somebody. I mean…
Michael: Yes.
Arjun: … there [are] wants to this, I think, in my opinion.
Michael: No, yeah. That’s totally fair. I think so. These are justifiable uses, and like Alison said, it’s a time of war. These are extreme situations and I think there’s… we can bend the rules a little bit in this instance.
Kat: For sure.
Michael: So yes, I think that hopefully that will quell the fans who have been concerned about that. Because I know we brought that up all the way back in the “Gringotts” chapter when Harry uses Imperio on one of the Death Eaters. And so… again, it was an extreme situation where he had to or else they would have been caught.
Kat: I mean, he was defending McGonagall. He had to do it. What was he going to do, let her get hurt? No. Come on; that’s not Harry. Harry is not about that.
Michael: No, no.
Alison: Yeah.
Michael: But as we see, McGonagall can hold her own pretty darn well. She actually ends up dueling Snape, and what I thought was so great… unfortunately, this duel is horribly short. I would have loved to have seen this gone on longer. And it’s even shorter and less exciting in the movie.
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Michael: If you think this is short, watch the movie. But what’s cool here is that we are seeing… it reminded me… I thought of you, Kat, since I know you love Order so much. This very much reminded me of Dumbledore and Voldemort’s duel at the Ministry.
Kat: This is so good. I wish so hard that this [were] in the movie. I forgot how awesome that moment was.
Michael: Yeah.
Alison: I love this fight because it’s so just back and forth. Harry only has time to throw Luna out of the way half the time. It’s so awesome.
Kat: Michael, you should read it. Yeah.
Michael: Oh, yeah? [laughs]
[Alison laughs]
Michael: Okay. [laughs] Here we go. Let’s see here… blabbity, blah, blah, blah…
“Professor McGonagall moved faster than Harry could have believed: Her wand slashed through the air and for a split second Harry thought that Snape must crumple, unconscious, but the swiftness of his Shield Charm was such that McGonagall was thrown off balance. She brandished her wand at a torch on the wall and it flew out of its bracket: Harry, about to curse Snape, was forced to pull Luna out of the way of the descending flames, which became a ring of fire that filled the corridor and flew like a lasso at Snape… Then it was no longer fire, but a great black serpent that McGonagall blasted to smoke, which re-formed and solidified in seconds to become a swarm of pursuing daggers: Snape avoided them only by forcing the suit of armor in front of him, and with echoing clangs the daggers sank, one after another, into its breast…”
Kat: Oh, it’s so good!
Alison: It’s so cinematic.
Michael: Yes, very exciting. And if you’re reading the American edition, that is the chapter picture. It’s that poor suit of armor that’s been covered in daggers. [laughs]
[Alison laughs]
Michael: But then, of course…
Kat: Oh, I never even noticed that. How sad is that?
[Michael laughs]
Kat: I just assumed it was one of the ones McGonagall conjured to life.
[Alison laughs]
Michael: Oh, yes, it’s got little knives in it. And of course, then afterwards the Heads of Houses – well, sans Slughorn – all join in to help and they bring the statue to life, and then Snape ends up “doing a bunk…” [laughs]
Kat: Yep.
Michael: … as I believe McGonagall puts it.
[Alison laughs]
Kat: Oh.
Arjun: I don’t know if you all have talked about this – and forgive me if I’m bringing up a topic that’s completely off-topic and [has] already been discussed – but Snape is the most fascinating… I mean, I think everyone must agree that Snape is the most fascinating character in the whole universe of this world. And I’m wondering, in this moment, why did he feel the need to duel her?
Michael: See, that’s a good question because… we’ll jump to that point because Snape… this is his one very brief appearance. First of all, I just have to know before even getting into that question… You’ve got to love the man’s dramatics: He’s already fully clothed…
Kat: [laughs] Yes.
Alison: Yeah. [laughs]
Michael: He steps out from the darkness and he goes, “It is I.” [laughs]
Kat: Yes.
Alison: [laughs] Yeah.
Michael: Man! Wow, the man knows how to make an entrance.
[Alison laughs]
Kat: And the thing is you read that and you hear Alan Rickman’s voice, and it makes it all the more awesome.
Alison: Yeah!
Michael: But that’s a good question because what’s interesting here is Snape… the narration is indicating that Snape knows exactly what’s going on because there [are] a lot of hints that… as we know, Snape is an expert at Legilimency. So he’s probably already read McGonagall’s mind and perhaps even knows that Harry is there because he can possibly be reading Harry’s mind.
Kat: Well, and he knows about the Cloak and he’s not stupid…
Michael: Yeah, no.
Alison: Yeah.
Kat: Plus the mark, right?
Michael: Yes.
Alison: And it definitely hints that he’s doing that because it says he’s staring into her eyes and that…
Michael: Mhm.
Alison: Harry knows what he’s doing. It’s obvious.
Michael: Yes. So when that… like Arjun said, that raises the question of: Why did he duel McGonagall? And the question I had was what even was his goal if he had defeated her? What was he going to do?
Arjun: Well, unless if you guys are saying… because I didn’t quite think that he knew everything because I thought McGonagall was way too much of a G for her mind to be read, to be honest. But I live for McGonagall.
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Arjun: [She’s] pretty much just a rung below Dumbledore, in my books. So if you guys… sort of going along with yours… then he set the duel up so that he had a reason to get out of there so that he could go to the other side and have a reason to go back and say, “Whatever, the four Heads turned on me. The three other Heads turned on me and I had to escape.” Because otherwise Voldemort… [pronounces it “Vol-de-mor”] See what I did there?
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Arjun: Voldemort would not have been happy. He would have wanted Snape to be on the inside during the battle for sure.
Kat and Michael: Mhm.
Michael: That’s true.
Alison: That’s a great point.
Michael: Well, that would make sense considering that he just has this very brief encounter where, really, he doesn’t… he tries but he doesn’t actually harm anybody in the encounter, and then he ditches pretty quick.
Arjun: Yeah, he ditches really quickly.
Alison and Michael: Yeah.
Arjun: Let’s be real; Slughorn ain’t really that much of an adversary.
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Arjun: That’s what really scares me. I think that would be the thing.
Kat: I think that’s entirely plausible, for sure.
Alison: Yeah.
Kat: And so you know, we have a saying on this show that McGonagall is our homegirl, so…
[Michael laughs]
Kat: Feel free to use it.
Arjun: I just want her in my life.
Kat: Yeah.
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Kat: We all do. We all do. She’s the best.
Michael: Well, because … I do go with the theory that Snape is successfully reading her mind. Because unfortunately, up to this point, as powerful as we know McGonagall is, I don’t think we’ve ever gotten an indication that she’s necessarily a Legilimency expert.
Alison: Yeah.
Michael: From what we learn, I think that’s actually a pretty uncommon trait.
Kat: Yeah.
Arjun: But here’s my question, though, about that then – hold up – because I play somebody that can hear voices, right?
Michael: Mhm.
Arjun: So [this is a] weird moment to bring up The Magicians…
[Michael laughs]
Arjun: … but we had trouble with that because I was like, “How do I play a dude that’s always reading people’s minds in school?”
Michael: Mhm.
Arjun: How would that manifest and would that play out in some way? And Sera [Gamble] and John [McNamara] were battling it, and Lev [Grossman] got involved and the answer was that everyone knew how to… that psychics were a part of the world in Brakebills – in Brakebills University from The Magicians – that people knew how to shut their mind down. So wouldn’t that be true here? I mean, Harry is taught that by Snape, right?
Michael: Mhm.
Alison: Yeah.
Arjun: So… it can’t be that easy to read people’s minds, otherwise everybody would do it. Everyone would have their blinds shut, as we use… that’s a thing we use on The Magicians. The mindreading thing becomes interesting for me because that feels like there might be holes in that universe.
Michael: Well, and…
Alison: Well, I think…
Michael: Go ahead, Alison.
Alison: Oh, I was going to say that I think she has said that it’s not common at all. I think the two we know about that can do Legilimency are Voldemort and Dumbledore and…
Arjun: And Snape.
Alison: And Snape. Yeah, sorry, I forgot about that. [laughs]
Arjun: Well, Snape could do whatever he wanted, though. If you can read everybody’s mind, you can make it be like a situation where you’re the most powerful person in the world, period. Hands down.
Alison: Oh, definitely. Definitely.
Arjun: So there’s got be something that stops Snape from doing it, right?
Kat: Okay, I’m going to blow everybody’s minds here and say that maybe that’s the 2% of Snape that doesn’t suck. Maybe he just doesn’t want to go around reading people’s minds all day.
Alison: Yeah.
Arjun: First of all, what do you mean, “2% of Snape that doesn’t suck”?
[Alison, Kat, and Michael laugh]
Kat: Oh.
Alison: Ooh! [laughs]
Michael: Oh, Arjun is a Snape defender.
[Alison and Kat laugh]
Arjun: Oh, my… oh, seriously?
Alison and Kat: Yeah.
Michael: Almost the entire Alohomora! team does not like Snape. We like him as a character, [but] we don’t like him as a person.
Alison: Yeah.
Arjun: Tell me how that’s possible. How do you not…?
[Michael laughs]
Alison: Book 4.
Arjun: How does he not feel like…? How does he not become so humanized in this book?
Michael: Oh, he does, but he’s still a jerk face.
Alison: Yeah, yeah.
[Michael laughs]
Arjun: He’s definitely a d-bag at times, for sure, but this is a man that has unrequited love who’s never been able to be…
Alison and Kat: Ooh!
Kat: Oh, he used the L-word.
Alison: That’s the problem… no!
[Alison, Kat, and Michael laugh]
Arjun: What do you mean?!
Alison: It’s not love; it’s obsession.
Arjun: Okay, that’s interesting, but in his head it’s love, right? It’s his understanding of love. We have to put ourselves in his position, right? So he understands it as love, and he doesn’t understand… and listen, man, that man goes back and forth… I mean, to have to play both sides like that has to be the most stressful and insane thing that anyone can possibly do. I’m not saying that he’s a good person, but I’m not going to say that he’s 98% a douche.
[Alison, Kat, and Michael laugh]
Arjun: The man singlehandedly sacrificed his life for Harry. Can you imagine being put in a situation where someone tells you [that] you have to kill them? The person that has been your mentor? And Dumbledore has been the dude for Snape…
Michael: Mhm.
Arjun: Dumbledore saved Snape’s life.
Michael: Kat, we’re going to have to invite Arjun on for when we do a whole Snape show…
Kat: I know! Goodness.
[Everyone laughs]
Michael: … because he’s raised every question and he’s using a thousand buzz words that could go so many places. [laughs]
Kat: Yeah. Oh, man. I really… yeah. We’re going to have to talk about Snape some time, Arjun, very soon.
Arjun: Sure, all right, we’ll do that. Sorry, yeah, let’s focus on Chapter 30.
Alison: Yeah, I will say this for Snape, though – on the good side – I get the feeling through this duel that he backs out so fast because he doesn’t want to fight McGonagall.
Michael: Mhm.
Kat: Yeah, I agree.
Alison: He doesn’t want to even have to deal with this and so he is just going to do what he has to to back out as fast as he can. So maybe we’ll give him 70/30.
Michael: Well, and as far as the issue of the Legilimency, I think that that plot hole is actually tied up in Half-Blood Prince because the one person who he’s trying to infiltrate and figure out is Malfoy, but it’s revealed that Malfoy has been receiving training on Occlumency from Bellatrix. So the one time that he really needs it in a major situation, he is closed off. But yeah, no, I don’t think McGonagall is as practiced in Legilimency and Occlumency. The transfiguration is more her forte, but in fact, an important thing happens with Snape. He doesn’t just jump out of the window and fall to his death as Harry so hopefully assumes.
[Everyone laughs]
Michael: He can fly! He has been, apparently, taking lessons from Voldemort and has learned how to fly. And what’s interesting is that McGonagall notes that Snape had a wand on him when he jumped out of the window, unlike Dumbledore, and therefore that is what is enabling him to fly. And she’s even implying, possibly – for the canon up to that point – that Voldemort still needed his wand to maintain flight. But as has been recently revealed on Pottermore – for good or ill, we’ll have to get into that later – but of course, there have been extensive releases of lead-up of North American magic and as was discussed in these new pieces by Rowling, Native American communities with wizards and witches did not use wands. Very similar to how she set up the African witches and wizards who also did not use wands and still had not only good magic, but actually very powerful magic, as implied by the writings. And so somebody asked Rowling on Twitter if it’s possible to fly without magic – or without a wand – and she said, “Wands, and brooms, and flying cars are tools that channel magic. The most gifted can dispense with them.” But she added in a second follow-up tweet, “Broomless flight is, as you might imagine, very risky.” But she did suggest that you can actually fly simply through magical power and without a wand. So I’m not really sure what the canon there is. I don’t know if she’s messed up her canon, or…
Alison: Does that mean without a wand? I’m not understanding that to mean without a wand, but maybe I’m just…
Michael: She was initially asked if people could fly and use magic without wands. And that’s where the response about wands and brooms came from. When she said, ”The most gifted can dispense with them.”
Alison: [That’s] interesting because I would not necessarily say that that means those two things go together. Does that make sense?
Michael: Mhm.
Alison: Where you can fly without a broom or you can do magic without a wand; not necessarily that…
Michael: But you can’t fly without a wand.
Alison: I guess, yeah. I guess that could be true, but…
Michael: Mhm.
Kat: It depends on if you want to take Jo’s word as canon, right?
Alison: I do.
Michael: I’m just trying to take Voldemort and Snape down a peg; [that] is all I’m trying to do.
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Kat: Sure.
Arjun: Who said the wand thing in the chapter itself?
Michael: McGonagall says that. She notes that…
Arjun: Maybe she didn’t know. It might not go against the canon; it might just be that she didn’t know.
Alison: Yeah.
Michael: That’s true. This magic is untested.
Arjun: Maybe Snape had a wand, but didn’t need it when he was flying. Well, Dumbledore wouldn’t have helped him because didn’t he die before he even fell [off] the [tower]?
Arjun: That was a Killing Spell. He had a wand, but there was nothing that was going to happen even if he had a wand. So maybe it’s not necessarily a canonical thing.
Kat: Right.
Michael: So what is McGonagall even talking about, really? [laughs]
Kat: I don’t know. I found the whole comparison to Dumbledore in that moment odd. It felt, this time, really odd to me.
Michael: Because of that?
Kat: Yeah. I know it’s just a throwback to the moment when he died…
Alison: Yeah.
Kat: … but it just felt… it didn’t feel like they were related to each other in any way, really.
Alison: I feel like it’s almost a reminder that McGonagall doesn’t know the whole plan yet.
Kat: Mhm. Sure.
Alison: Because… does she know that Dumbledore got disarmed on top of the tower? That it wasn’t just… that he gave that up? Does that…?
Michael: I believe she does, based on Harry’s account, which was made public after a while.
Alison: That’s true.
Michael: So she probably would know. I always just saw it as a carry-over from the last, penultimate chapter in Half-Blood where they’re all standing around just hating on Snape because they can.
[Alison laughs]
Michael: And it’s that further, “This is why we hate him.” Tying it back to…
Alison: Well, and Harry did just say he jumped out the window; he’s dead. So…
Michael: Yeah, that’s true. There is that comparison, and just when you fall [from] Hogwarts usually you die.
[Everyone laughs]
Michael: But not this time. And there is some pretty powerful defensive magic that’s pulled out here. Probably one of those favorite spells of everybody’s: Piertotum Locomotor, which actually, roughly, in a more poetic sense, translates to, “I move thee forth all dutiful soldiers.”
Alison and Kat: Ooh!
Michael: Which is a beautiful translation.
Kat: Very fancy.
Arjun: Can we just talk about how casual she is, though?
Michael: Oh, yeah!
Arjun: As soon as Harry says… Harry feels the scar and it’s burning him because Voldemort is on his way; he’s nigh. And she just says, “Very well. He-Who-Must-Be-Named… He-Who-Must…” [trips over words] Bah! See, Michael, this is why you do this.
[Michael laughs]
Arjun: “Very well. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is coming.” That’s all she says! “Very well. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is coming.” That’s it!
Kat: Yep.
Michel: Oh, yeah, no…
Alison: She’s amazing.
Arjun: [laughs] She’s like, “Let’s get to work! It’s like, “Damn!” And it’s so… the statues have always been an annoying figure throughout the whole book, at least to me. And they’re always an annoyance, and just there, and they serve a purpose, but they’re just there and you… to see them get up, and when they talked about, “Do your duty to the school…” I don’t know. That was another thing. And this is where it taps into the inner child boy in me that was just like, “Yeah! Nobility! Standing up for something!”
[Everyone laughs]
Arjun: And it just taps into it, man. It’s like, “This is the dogs of war, man! Let slip the dogs of war!” This is Henry V. Let’s go.
Kat: Ooh! Nice reference.
Michael: No, I think the cool thing about this is that I think we forget… especially, too, again because of the movie, which conveniently suddenly has all of the statues in the entrance hall, which is not where they used to be. But in the book I think we forget because of the movies that not only are there statues of just the regular suits of armor, but there [are] animals and things!
Kat: The boars and everything, right? Yeah!
Michael: Yeah, everything’s coming to life! And I don’t remember – Kat, I don’t know if you remember this, or Alison – but there’s one of the international covers [that] actually has Harry standing with all of these statues leading them into the fray. There [are] no people around him; it’s just the Hogwarts statues, and there are animals…
Kat: Nice.
Michael: … and I think a panther or something like that.
Kat: I try not to look at those until we talk about them so I don’t spoil my reactions.
Michael: Oh, but… yeah. No, it’s a cool thing to remember that all of the statues in Hogwarts are coming to life, not just the suits of armor. And like you said, Arjun, it’s really neat because these statues and all of the suits of armor have played just a comedic role in the background to make Hogwarts feel a little more silly and magical, but now they are serving their true purpose because…
Arjun: Michael, you want to do a little reading? From, “And now – “ the spell and those next couple of paragraphs? You want to show the people a little love right there?
Michael: [laughs] Let’s see where that scene is…
Kat: 602!
Arjun: Bottom of 602. I got you, bro.
Michael: Thank you, sir! Okay, let’s see.
”’And now – Piertotum Locomotor!’ cried Professor McGonagall. And all along the corridor the statues and suits of armor jumped down from their plinths, and from the echoing crashes from the floors above and below, Harry knew that their fellows throughout the castle had done the same. ’Hogwarts is threatened!’ shouted Professor McGonagall. ‘Man the boundaries, protect us, do your duty to our school!’ Clattering and yelling, the horde of moving statues stampeded past Harry: some of them smaller, others larger than life. There were animals, too, and the clanking suits of armor brandished swords and spiked balls on chains.”
So there’s some pretty cool stuff running through the walls here. So…
Kat: I like your McGonagall.
Michael: Well, thank you very much.
Alison: Yes! Very good.
Michael: [laughs] Appreciate that.
Alison: Very Maggie Smith.
Michael: Oh, thank you. Well, and the reminder here, too, is that Hogwarts is a castle. What were castles made for? They weren’t just for living in; they were for defense.
Kat: Right.
Michael: Hogwarts was built to be a sanctuary and have defenses built in. In fact, I believe Pottermore recently – with all of the other schools – has implied that all of the schools have some sort of defenses built into them that are unique.
Kat: Mm.
Arjun: And isn’t there the one that that Bulgarian dude…? Krum! Right? Didn’t they say that you couldn’t find it? Right?
Michael: Yes!
Kat: Yeah.
Alison: That it’s unplottable.
Arjun: It was like… Hermione might have said that? Unplottable.
Michael: Yes, and it’s actually… I believe Durmstrang is considered to be one of the most unplottable, and actually, they erase your memory if you go to visit. They erase your memory so you can’t find it.
Kat: Geez.
Alison: Yeah.
Kat: Hardcore.
Michael: So yeah, they’re very secretive at Durmstrang. I believe even Beauxbatons has defenses of its own. So it’s implied that all of the schools have that, but it’s definitely cool to see Hogwarts’s in action. The other spell that we hear for protection is Protego Horribilus, which translates to, “I protect against the horrible,” which is used by Professor Flitwick. And what’s cool about that is Harry doesn’t really see it. He just says that it’s almost like Flitwick is calling upon the wind.
Alison: Yeah.
Michael: Which was a pretty cool concept of imagery.
Kat: It’s a reminder of how powerful Flitwick is because we forget about how badass he is.
Alison: Yeah.
Michael: Right? Tiny little guy just defended the whole school.
Alison: Yep.
Michael: With one set of spells. Also, that does pretty much negate the idea that Maxima… if anybody was wondering if it’s canon or not, it is not because in the movie Protega Maxima is used instead of this. So Maxima, no.
Arjun: Damn, people remember that?
Alison: Yeah.
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Arjun: I barely remember lines that I say in TV.
[Kat and Michael laugh]
Kat: I was going to say, pretty soon you’re going to have hordes – you probably already do – hordes of people who are going to meet you because they watch The Magicians, and they’re going to be like, “Remember that time you said that line in Episode 2?” And three minutes in you’re going to be like, “What?” So yeah, prepare yourself for that.
Arjun: I better go read my script again.
Alison: Yeah.
Michael: Well, it’s like us here on the show because I see people reminding us all the time. They’re like, “Do you remember in Episode 81?” And I’m like, “No, I don’t.”
[Everyone laughs]
Alison: Yeah, I don’t remember what happened yesterday.
[Kat and Michael laugh]
Arjun: Wait, but this also comes during a dope moment where McGonagall addresses the Slytherins and says, ”It’s time for Slytherin to decide upon its loyalties.” I don’t know. That part was like, “Whoa.”
Alison: Yes.
Arjun: “All right, it’s real now.”
Kat: Well, she’s right because she goes on and she’s like, “Horace, we duel to kill,” and I was like, “Yeah!”
Alison: Yeah! And I think it’s so important she’s saying that to Slughorn, who is known for riding the fence; that she’s saying, “Choose a side now or you’re out because we’re not going to take that risk.”
Michael: Well, that’s interesting because that was discussed on last week’s show. I know there were a few of you being like, “What about those poor… those one or two nice Slytherins who are probably just like, ‘I’ll fight, I’ll believe in the cause’? And nobody’s listening to them.”
Alison: I read a really interesting theory the other day [where] someone suggested that most of them left because a lot of their families would have been involved.
Michael: Would have been fighting. Yeah, that…
Alison: And they didn’t want to end up being on the opposite side of their family.
Michael: That was in our comments, wasn’t it, this week? I believe.
Kat: I believe so.
Alison: I don’t remember.
Arjun: So wait. Remind me – because I don’t remember what happens – does Slytherin as a House choose not to be a part of Hogwarts anymore? What…?
Michael: Yes.
Alison: They all leave.
Michael: In the next chapter Pansy Parkinson will attempt a very stupid… she does a very stupid thing and tries to get Harry thrown to Voldemort and none of the school agrees with her and then McGonagall tells the Slytherins that they can be the first to go. And according to Rowling, all of the Slytherins leave. None of them stay.
Alison: But she’s also said they go get the villagers, so… but take that as you will.
Michael: That the Slytherins go get the villagers?
Alison: Yeah, that they go get people to come help. So when there’s that sudden… Harry is looking out and they’re battling and all of a sudden there [are] all these people just running from outside, she said somewhere…
Kat: Man, where is this?
Michael: Oh, I remember that part! I didn’t think the Slytherins were the ones who did that.
Kat: Yeah, you’re going to have to find me a quote, Alison. I don’t believe that.
[Michael laughs]
Alison: Okay. I’m going to go look it up.
Michael: Go plow through her Twitter.
Arjun: And real quick, then – because this is just me being a nerd – what future stuff…? Is Slytherin a part of Hogwarts or no?
Kat and Michael: Yes.
Michael: Slytherin, according to Rowling … she did a chat, a web chat, after Harry Potter ended in 2007 and she was asked what happened to Slytherin. She said that Slytherin has mellowed out; there is still a little bit of traces of the prejudice, but overall, after the battle there [were] a lot of mixed blood marriages that thinned Slytherin out, and they became a little more cool with being a part of Hogwarts. So it all worked out in the end.
Arjun: As it does. As it does in life, doesn’t it?
Alison: As it does.
Arjun: That was facetious, people listening.
Michael: [laughs] And since we’ve been speaking about her so much, why not talk a little more about McGonagall? Because she’s so cool. One really great point that I thought was worth bringing up is that with no reservations whatsoever, McGonagall immediately is able to access Ravenclaw Tower by doing the proper thing. She gives an answer to the question that it poses.
Arjun: Such a dope question.
Michael: Yes! Which we will get to in a minute, but the thing that I actually wanted to highlight about this is I went back and read McGonagall’s story on Pottermore, and I had forgotten that McGonagall was a Hatstall when she was sorted, and she was a Hatstall between Ravenclaw and Gryffindor.
Kat: Doesn’t surprise me at all.
Michael: Yes. So perhaps that was maybe the reason why she was so good at that.
Kat: And also, I thought… she’s taught at the school for a long time. How often does Ravenclaw Tower, the knocker, recycle its questions?
Arjun: Never!
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Kat: You think so, though? Is that plausible?
Arjun: No, come on. No, that would ruin the whole thing! You’re just a computer. You’re just a computer, then!
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Kat: So then my question is, does that eagle door knocker have sentience?
Alison: Is it alive?
Arjun: Well, are the statues alive?
Kat: Because they were charmed alive. Oh, you mean…
Arjun: Okay, this is… man, I might be completely wrong about this, but there was one point in a book where he has to follow a thing through the pictures? Through one of the knights?
Michael: Oh! Sir Cadogan.
Kat: Yes, he’s a painting, though.
Michael: He is a painting.
Arjun: Is he sentient, though? Is he sentient?
Michael: Ah, there is an answer about the paintings. The paintings are… they take on the life of the person who they were painted after, and actually, paintings can be… paintings, when they’re initially made, will pretty much replicate as much about the person that a painting can possibly… it’s like a poor man’s copy. The painting can be taught more things if somebody instructs them to take in more information, but otherwise, they’re just a poor man’s copy. They do have limitations. So there’s a debatable argument about whether a painting like Cadogan is alive. I would actually say no.
Arjun: I was going to use that to say that if he’s alive, then the door knocker is alive, but if he’s not, then maybe not.
Michael: I think the door knocker is actually comparable to the Sorting Hat.
Alison: I would, too.
Michael: That would be my closest comparison because I actually… this is just my personal head canon; this is something I made up in my head. But Harry notes that the voice is soft and [melodic], and I just assume in my head that it’s Rowena’s voice.
Alison: Oh.
Michael: In the same way that the Sorting Hat is the brains, apparently, of all four founders, but I always assumed that it, perhaps, might be speaking like Gryffindor because he was Gryffindor’s hat.
Kat: Right.
Michael: So… but that’s just my crazy idea.
Kat: I’d buy that. So basically, we think [that] how the brain is in the Hat, the brain is in the door knocker. It’s been enchanted with knowledge.
Michael: Well, because the hat… so in comparison… and granted, Kat, what you’re… I think that’s a fair question because the door knocker has to present probably multiple questions per day, whereas the Hat just sits around and…
Kat: Probably dozens, I would say. Right?
Alison: Yeah.
Michael: Well, yeah, no. Well, versus the Hat, who only has to come up with one new song every year.
Kat: Mhm.
[Alison laughs]
Arjun: But the sentience of the Hat also comes in from the standpoint of the Sorting itself. It’s not just the song.
Kat: Right.
Michael: That’s true.
Arjun: It’s the ability to look at… that, to me, is an infinitely more difficult thing than coming up with riddles.
Michael: Perhaps the… maybe the door knocker recognizes people and doesn’t ask the same people the same question. Maybe it has a bank of questions, but it doesn’t… if it sees the same person, it asks them something different.
Alison: Oh, yeah.
Kat: But… okay, so McGonagall has been there how many years?
Michael: A long time.
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Kat: So I’m not saying that she’s…
Michael: I won’t say how many. That would be rude.
Kat: I’m not saying that she’s not smart or anything, but I just wonder how many times she’s heard, “Where do vanished objects go?”
Alison: Well, how many times has she had to go to the Ravenclaw common room? I feel like, normally, that would be designated to Flitwick because that’s his House.
Kat: Fair point. Fair point.
Michael: Which she implies it is because that’s how Alecto got in.
Kat: Right.
Alison: Yeah.
Michael: So… but yeah, no, it was just… I thought it was an impressive point, and I wondered if it didn’t speak to her Hatstall moment back when she was Sorted. And also, the thing that I just wanted to point out about her, too, is that I just [have to] say it’s so super cool how McGonagall reacts to Harry in that she doesn’t question him when he says he has something to do. For probably the first time in this book, she just accepts that and says, “All right, well, we’ll defend the castle.”
Alison: Well, I think she’s always…
Arjun: I think she was saying, “Yo, you [have to] go. Get out.” And then he said, “It’s orders. I have Dumbledore’s orders,” and she’s like, “All right. You got Dumbledore to listen to them. We’re going to do it.” That, to me, spoke more to Dumbledore than it did to Harry.
Alison: I think she’s always had confidence in Harry, though. In [Order of the Phoenix], she stands up for him right away when he says he wants to be an Auror and Umbridge is trying to shut him down, and I don’t know. I think she’s…
Arjun: She has. I wasn’t saying… it’s not about confidence. I think that everyone has confidence in Harry, to some degree, but it’s also like, “Yo, you need to… your safety is paramount.”
Alison: Yeah, that’s true.
Michael: I think that’s totally fair because of what I was thinking of, too. Again, with McGonagall’s backstory on Pottermore, it’s revealed that Dumbledore took her into his confidences and actually told her about his family history and his history with Grindelwald, which he didn’t tell pretty much anybody.
Alison: Yeah.
Michael: So…
Arjun: I’m sorry. I [have to] ask: What’s Pottermore?
Michael: Oh, Arjun. [laughs]
Alison: Oh. [laughs]
Michael: If only you had been there before it became what it is today.
Alison: Yeah.
Michael: It’s called Pottermore. The website is Pottermore.com. It was originally a venue for Rowling to put out new writings on Harry Potter and was meant to be an extracurricular piece of Harry Potter. If you’re reading the books, you can read along with Pottermore chapter-by-chapter, and get some extra information that fills out your reading experience.
Kat: It was a companion, basically, to read the novels.
Michael: Yes. Yes, that she wrote. She wrote all of the new writing and also…
Alison: And there’s beautiful artwork and it was wonderful.
Michael: Yes.
Kat: Games, which was cool.
Michael: And you could also get… the big thing about Pottermore was that you could officially get Sorted into your House and you could get your wand. That feature is still around. They recently brought it back. Pottermore has been completely revised, otherwise, though. Rowling still releases new writings, and she is right now, but the site is also now catering to the upcoming Fantastic Beasts movie and the Cursed Child play, and has actually combined the canon of the movies and the books in a way that people are finding very frustrating.
Kat: It sucks now.
Alison: It looks awful redone. It’s terrible.
Michael: Yeah. It’s basically like Pottermore meets Buzzfeed.
Alison: It’s terrible.
Arjun: What is that play that you were just talking about? I’m sorry. You all are going to hate me.
Kat and Michael: No!
Kat: We don’t at all. You’re fine.
Michael: It’s good. We’re getting you up to speed. You’re going to be so well-equipped when you go back out into the world. [laughs] So the play is Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. It’s a two-part play. It’s going to mainly be about Harry and his relationship with his youngest son, Albus, and how their lives have… what’s happening in their lives post… almost immediately picking up from the epilogue in Deathly Hallows.
Kat: It’s being coined “The eighth story.”
Alison: Which I hate that coinage.
Michael: Yes.
Arjun: Wait. Why do you hate that coinage? Wait. There are so many questions.
Alison: I just…
[Alison, Kat, and Michael laugh]
Arjun: Rowling?
Michael: Rowling co-wrote it with two other people.
Arjun: Oh, is she going Patterson on us?
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Kat: Yes. Yes. She is.
Arjun: No, really? From what I hear, if somebody is co-writing your stuff, it’s like, “Aw, why?”
Michael: Not, perhaps, full Patterson yet, but she’s, perhaps, taking the steps toward that.
Alison: Yeah.
Michael: She was very heavily involved in this play, and the play will be in two parts. You actually have to go in the afternoon and then come back in the evening to see the whole thing.
Alison: Yeah. Our tickets are for 2:00 [p.m.] and then 7:30 [p.m.], so…
Arjun: What are you doing?
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Arjun: What are you doing?
Alison: That’s what I said.
Arjun: What are you doing? You’ve built a whole community based on getting access to people and you’re going to create the most pretentious theatrical experience you possibly can?
Alison: Yeah.
Arjun: Are you kidding me?
Alison: They are releasing the script in a book.
Kat: I knew you were right for this show, Arjun. I knew you were right for it.
[Alison and Kat laugh]
Arjun: But the script… that’s not the point of a play.
Alison: [laughs] I know, I know, I know.
Arjun: You’re talking to a theater guy. I run a theater company. That’s not the point of a play.
Alison: I know, I know.
Michael: Well, apparently…
Arjun: How much are you going to charge for tickets on this, J.K. Rowling?
[Michael laughs]
Alison: My… we got…
Arjun: I need to have a [conversation] because you built this whole thing and your whole thing is about… this whole thing about Harry Potter is that you have a general name, Harry, and you can be possible of… doing anything. Anytime you start catering to the wealthy, you strip it of that message. I’m really trying not to curse.
Kat: Oh, okay.
Michael: [laughs] She has, apparently, insisted that once… for those who will get to see it, we will understand why she wanted it to be a stage play. I’m very doubtful of that, myself.
Alison: Yeah. As much as I’m going to see it and I’m excited, I also have my reservations.
Kat: There [are] apparently $20 tickets, too, by the way.
Michael: Oh, really?
Alison: Yeah, no. Ours were dirt cheap.
Kat: Yeah.
Arjun: When is this happening? This is in New York?
Alison: I’m shocked.
Kat: It opens… no, London.
Michael: No, this is in London.
Alison: West End.
Arjun: Are all of you just going to go to London?
Kat: No, no.
Michael: I’m not.
Alison: I was going anyway, so we just happened to get tickets, but…
Michael: I’ll read the script. So…
Kat: Yeah, I’ll read the script.
Arjun: So will I.
[Michael laughs]
Kat: Perfect.
Arjun: Duh.
Michael: So…
Arjun: Okay, sorry, but this is what Pottermore was. Okay, I understand Pottermore now.
Alison: Yeah.
Arjun: Sorry, go back to the chapter. Chapter 30. Go.
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Michael: So I guess we can move on from that point because that point was pretty much just about McGonagall and her confidence in Dumbledore. We talked about Snape.
Alison: I did find the Slytherin thing.
Michael: Oh! Please.
Kat: Really?
Michael: Oh, my goodness gracious.
Alison: It’s from PotterCast #131, when Jo was on.
Kat: Oh.
Michael: Oh, okay. That’s why.
Alison: And she said… where am I going? Oh,
“A part of the final battle that made me smile was Slughorn galloping back with Slytherins, but they’d gone off to get reinforcements first. You know what I’m saying? But yes, they came back. They came back to fight. So I mean, but I’m not sure that that many people would say, ‘That’s common sense, isn’t it? Isn’t that smart to get out to get more people and come back with them?’”
Michael: Oh my God, yes, I have heard this. I can’t believe I forgot that. Yeah, in fact, doesn’t the narration say that Slughorn is one of the people who comes charging over there?
Alison: Yeah! Yeah.
Michael: Oh my goodness. I just read that a few days ago, you guys.
[Alison laughs]
Michael: My God.
Kat: I totally forgot about that.
[Michael laughs]
Kat: So thank you, Alison.
Alison: You are welcome. The magic of Google.
Michael: Okay, so then… see, that’s good because I think we forget that – because most of the fandom forgets that – because we all get up in arms that the Slytherins get the shaft in the Battle of Hogwarts.
Alison: Because it’s not clear. It’s not clear that it’s the Slytherins coming back.
Michael: Mhm.
Arjun: Yeah, J.K.: Write better.
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Arjun: I know; that was just super open…
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Arjun: [unintelligible] I love you.
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Michael: No, no, it’s totally fair because I was…
Arjun: I will say that these books are actually… and I think I told Kat this, and that’s why I’m excited talking about it: because I read this actually during a moment where someone very close to me was in surgery…
Michael: Mhm.
Arjun: … and these books were… this book came out… I got this book that day when they went into a several hour surgery, and this escaping into this world was incredibly helpful for me as I coped with that experience.
Michael: Mhm.
Arjun: And so these books always had a place in my heart.
Michael: Oh, yeah, absolutely. I think, actually, you’ll find that many a Potter fan has very meaningful deep experiences with these books. And we’ve talked frequently about how… I think that a lot of this show’s purpose – would you agree with me, ladies? – has been to examine why Harry Potter is such a behemoth because of its writing style.
Alison: Definitely, definitely.
Kat: For sure. Mhm.
Arjun: Well, I think that that’s what… as someone that’s in the books that I consider the next part of the lineage that was started by Narnia and then Potter, and being part of The Magicians, what’s exciting about them is that they flipped a lot of that on the head. What’s lovely about this is walking around the world and feeling as we all do in our late teens, early 20’s, late 20’s, [and] early 30’s, just kind of lost walking around the world going to someplace where there’s black and white and there is order and there is good versus evil. And you can see evil and you can see good, and you can feel like, “Yeah, I’m going to do something about it.” There’s a very clear mission here… whether it’s hard or difficult, and there’s loss along the way for sure, but there’s a clear focus and directive.
Michael: Mhm.
Arjun: And that’s always what’s been so comforting. That’s why these books have always been like beans and rice for me.
[Michael laughs]
Arjun: It’s that comfort food.
Michael: Arjun, do you want to just quit all of your jobs and come be on the show with us permanently?
[Alison laughs]
Michael: Because I want to keep you.
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Arjun: Michael, I’m already telling the girls to get out of the way. I don’t know what they’re doing…
[Everyone laughs]
Kat: We’ll just go.
[Everyone laughs]
Kat: Like Percy.
Michael: Okay. So let’s actually… because we’re talking about what makes Harry Potter so special, and I think we’ve come to perhaps one of the most talked about controversial parts, not only of this section but of Deathly Hallows as a whole.
Alison: I have so many things to say about this. [laughs]
Michael: So Harry and Luna go back to the common room and they’re so surprised to be greeted by a multitude of people, including – I’ll name drop for you, Alison – Oliver Wood is there with…
Alison: Yes!
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Alison: My fave!
Michael: Squee! With the whole Quidditch team…
[Alison laughs]
Michael: … who’s actually back, as well as more members of Dumbledore’s Army. Quite a few familiar faces throughout from the previous six books. But gee golly wiz, somebody else is here, probably one of the most shocking faces to be in the room. Percy Weasley comes stumbling through the passageway, and there’s just a nice long awkward pause, and then he goes into a nice little self-depreciating speech, very apologetic. And possibly… I would say this has to be one of the most controversial character arcs in Harry Potter because a lot of people are still, to this day, very angry that Percy gets redeemed. I already think I know why this is, but why don’t you guys jump in and give your thoughts on this? Go on.
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Alison: Okay… [clears throat]
Arjun: Hold it, yo, and I think that’s the power of family. Your family’s thicker than whatever…
Alison: Mhm.
Arjun: You come back and you apologize and it’s like, “All right, cool. Let’s get with it.”
Alison: Yeah. I think this is one of the most beautiful arcs in the whole books because it’s this beautiful redemption arc of: He messed up, he knows he screwed up, and he figures that out for himself, and he comes back and says, “I’m sorry I screwed up.” And his family says, “You screwed up, yeah. We’re going to remember that, but you’re family. You figured yourself out. You’re coming back.” And I actually think one of the most tragic things is Fred [being] the first to welcome him back to the family.
Kat and Michael: Mhm.
Alison: Which is, with their whole history throughout all the books… where it was always the twins against Percy. And now Fred is the first one to welcome him back, and in just a couple of hours they’re going to be by each other’s side when one of the most tragic things to happen…
Kat: We’re not ready to hear that yet.
Michael: Yeah.
Alison: [laughs] Yeah, I know. I can’t even talk about it.
Kat: I mean, coming back…
Arjun: Percy doesn’t die also. It’s just Fred, right?
Alison and Michael: No, it’s just Fred.
Kat: Just Fred.
Arjun: Percy was there when it happens, isn’t [he]?
Alison: Uh-huh.
Kat: Right.
Kat and Michael: Yes.
Arjun: Oh, snap. I forgot about that.
Alison: Because Fred’s last words are, “Perce, I haven’t heard you tell a joke since…”
Kat: Yeah.
Alison: Those are his last words.
Kat: One of the hardest things that anybody in life can do, I truly think, is admit that they were wrong, especially after years.
Arjun: Amen.
Kat: Because that’s what it was: years of believing that they were right. And to come back and put aside your shame and embarrassment about what you did and what you put your family through, and to just be like, “I’m sorry. I’m here. Take me back, please.” That’s really hard. I don’t know if you guys ever had to do that, but it’s hard.
Arjun: I mean, taking ownership is what I’m hearing from you, as you took ownership of your actions.
Kat: For sure.
Michael: Mhm.
Arjun: Yeah. We are so likely as humans… we are so quick to forgive people that take ownership. I’m going to bring sports into this for a second, if you don’t mind, but with the steroids stuff that’s happened in baseball, it’s stunning. All those guys that have hemmed and hawed and not admitted any guilt and not taken any ownership for it are still reviled. But [with] Andy Pettitte, who was like, “Yeah, I took HGH. I made a mistake. I wanted to heal quicker,” people were like, “Hey, man, we understand.” We’re very quick to understand how fallible we are as humans. And when you take ownership of that and offer that vulnerability, people respond in very positive ways.
Kat: I think that’s why this moment is so important.
Alison: Yeah.
Kat: It shows that this family has been so angry at him for how many years, and they just take him right back into the fold because he’s blood. He’s Percy. I mean, he’s a bit of a dull prat, but he’s Percy.
Arjun: Because what does anger come from?
Kat: Lots of things.
Arjun: That’s a real question: What does anger come from? Anger mainly comes from pain.
Alison: Yeah.
Kat: Fear.
Arjun: So if you come over and you can heal that pain, anger goes away.
Alison: Yeah.
Michael: Mhm.
Alison: Well, it fits into so many biblical allusions in this book because it’s repentance.
Michael: Mhm.
Alison: He’s admitting to his mistakes. He’s coming back and asking for forgiveness, and he’s repenting. And they’re like, “Yep, you’re back. We’re good.”
Arjun: Why does everybody put the Bible into every book? How did that happen? How does that happen?
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Michael: Well, the thing I was thinking about is conversations we’ve previously had about… I remember [that] we’ve actually compared Percy and his position in the family in many ways to Ron.
Alison: Mhm.
Michael: And I know that we’ve actually… I think through this read we’ve seen a lot of our listeners who have really stood up for Ron, and we’ve come forward for Ron in a lot of places where it’s harder to come forward for Ron. And I feel in this case, Percy deserves that same treatment.
Kat: I want to give props to Fleur in this moment for breaking the tension.
Alison: Yes.
Michael: Oh, for trying to deflect it?
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Kat: Yes. Hilarious.
Alison: And Lupin.
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Kat: Yes.
Arjun: Oh, I don’t.
Kat and Michael: No?
[Michael laughs]
Arjun: No, I don’t.
Kat: Why?
Alison: Why not?
Arjun: It’s so typical of her not to be comfortable with any sort of… Oh, just sit in that.
[Alison laughs]
Arjun: I’m producing a play right now, and part of the play is that we engage the audience into really uncomfortable conversations. And the director – our director, Dina Selenau – she had this great moniker for when we were dealing with some of these uncomfortable [things] in rehearsal, and she was like, “You know what, guys? We just have to sit in the poopy diaper.”
[Michael laughs]
Arjun: And I think so often we’re so quick to get out of the poopy diaper. It’s like, “Nah, man, you know what? You need to sit in that [censored] for a little bit.”
[Michael laughs]
Arjun: Quite literally.
[Michael laughs]
Arjun: Man, we were trying to make stuff so easy all the time. I’m making this a much bigger thing than what I should because it’s just a moment [where] Fleur was uncomfortable. But [we’ve] got to get more comfortable with discomfort as a people.
Michael: I’d say perhaps the reason why it is so uncomfortable for Fleur, which is something I always forget until Percy talks to her, is that she doesn’t know him at all…
Alison: Yeah. [laughs]
Michael: … because he was absent by the time that she was in a relationship with Bill. So she’s actually walking in on a family drama that she hasn’t really been a part of. Probably heard about, but not even really seen firsthand.
Kat: True.
Michael: So that perhaps would explain her reaction. And we’ll get into this discussion further on. I’m sure it will come up again in the other chapter with Percy and Fred. But I will put forth that I do think that the unfortunate reason that Percy is still despised by some in the fandom is because people feel that Fred dies in Percy’s place.
Kat: Yeah.
Alison: No, that’s unfair.
Michael: Yeah, which I think is super unfair.
Alison: Yeah, I do, too.
Michael: And if you don’t take it…
Arjun: Yeah, that’s so harsh.
Michael: And I feel too that if you take it that way you really miss the true tragedy of Fred’s death later on.
Alison: Yeah.
Michael: Because I realized that when I read it, when I was rereading it, that I wasn’t so much – because I did cry when I read that chapter and I haven’t read that chapter in so long – but I was crying not just because Fred was dead, which was sad, but I was crying because of Percy’s reaction to it.
Alison: Yeah, I almost didn’t finish the book.
Michael: No, I think that’s what makes it so powerful, is the redemption arc happening before this loss. That’s what makes Fred’s death so sad. It’s not just that you’re losing this very memorable character, but…
Kat: Or that he’s a twin. Right. Yeah.
Michael: That’s what’s so…
Alison: Yeah.
Michael: No, no, it’s the importance of Percy. That’s what Percy’s return… that’s part of what it plays into the plot.
Alison: Yeah.
Michael: And so I think it was a really interesting twist that Rowling did this the way that she did.
Kat: Agreed.
Alison: Because you think the family is going to be whole again.
Michael: Mhm.
Alison: And then they don’t have that time.
Kat: Then it’s not.
Alison: Yeah.
Arjun: This is where the book – and this is what I think is important – this is where the book is comfort food. Because this is not the way family… that’s not the way… it’s too clean.
Michael: Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Arjun: Even though… the twist with Fred. But that’s just something I was thinking about. Look, it’s comfort food and it’s amazing, but it’s also [really] clean.
Michael: No, absolutely. I think that’s one of the things we’ve hit on throughout this discussion of Harry Potter that makes it so special, is that it’s not… Harry Potter never just caters to the wishes and wants of the readers. It’s very much… She had a goal of the story she wanted to tell, and she didn’t just do what we wanted because that was what would be most satisfying. And in a way I think she knew that that wouldn’t be the most satisfying thing. But before we wrap up this chapter, I had a few little… I’ve used this term before for this point: The Little Things. The Little Things include here: I just want to touch on Amycus and Alecto because they have probably their most substantial moment of the series in this chapter, which doesn’t amount to much because they get taken out pretty [quickly]. Amycus was in Greek mythology. Amycus was the son of Poseidon and Melia, who was a nymph. He was a boxer and a Trojan War soldier. And Kat had noted something about how he’s written, actually; his dialogue.
Kat: His accent is so apparent and I had never thought about that or noticed that before. I guess it’s probably your fault that I noticed that, so…
[Kat and Michael laugh]
Michael: Well, he’s written in a way like Hagrid, right?
Kat: A little bit, yeah.
Michael: Where his accent is pronounced through the writing. And actually, we did a little research, listeners, before the show. And correct us if we’re wrong, but we believe that Amycus’s accent is Cumbrian, which means he’s from North England. So make of that what you will. We figured that Rowling must have chosen it because the accent sounds rough. And Alecto doesn’t quite seem to have that lilt in her accent. And Alecto, her name actually translates to “unceasing in anger.” She was in Greek mythology [as] one of the furies who personified vengeance and pangs of consciousness, and she was known to be cruel and bloodthirsty, so that was a perfect name right there. Funny other little thing: The Chamber of Secrets is not directly mentioned. Ginny just says that Hermione and Ron mentioned something about going to the bathroom. And I just had to say, isn’t it so perfect that that comes from Ginny, right?
Alison: Yeah. And I love that Harry goes to look in the bathroom for them.
[Everybody laughs]
Michael: Yeah, the bathroom nearby. Like, “Oh, I’m sure I know what they’re doing. Peek.”
Kat: Right, exactly. That’s exactly what I was thinking.
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Michael: But in a way, I thought it was funny that Harry doesn’t realize that it’s the Chamber of Secrets because it’s coming from Ginny.
Kat: Right.
Alison and Kat: Yeah.
Michael: In a way, I think it’s funny that Ginny doesn’t realize that, but…
Alison: Well, she was out of it.
Michael: Yes, everybody’s stressed [and] a lot is going on right now, so I’ll forgive them for that.
Kat: Well, and also, they didn’t say, “We’re going to the Chamber of Secrets.” They said, “We’re going to a bathroom.”
Alison: Yeah.
Kat: That’s maybe… Somebody commented… somebody tweeted at us and was like, “Maybe Ron needed a really hot shower.”
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Kat: You never know, right?
Michael: They’ve been on the road. [laughs]
Kat: Yeah, exactly.
Michael: It’s been a long journey. Got to take a nice shower before you go into battle. And going back to the question from the Ravenclaw common room’s door – and I believe, Kat, you’ve cited this before in our questions of the ghost space – but this is probably the closest answer you’re going to get.
Kat: That’s true. It is.
Michael: Where do vanished objects go? Into non-being, which is to say, everything. So there’s your answer to that.
Arjun: That’s some real Buddhist stuff right there.
Michael: It’s deep. Kat, how do you feel about this after all of that? After all of your ponderings?
Kat: I feel okay about that. I feel okay about it. If that’s what the bronze eagle knocker says and agrees with, I’m good with that.
Michael: Would that have been your answer when you were trying to get into the Ravenclaw common room, if it had asked you that question?
Kat: Oh, that’s hard to say, Michael. I don’t know. If I knew everything that I know now, I would say, “To the ghost world,” or, “To the Room of Requirement.”
[Everyone laughs]
Kat: It’s probably not what I would say.
Michael: Well…
Arjun: Here’s what I would say. Here’s what I would say.
Michael: What would you say, Arjun?
Arjun: “Back into my mind, for that is where all objects spring forth.”
Michael: Oooh.
Kat: Wow.
Arjun: I put in that “spring forth” at the end just to sound smarter than I am.
[Everyone laughs]
Arjun: I could have just said, “That’s where all the objects come from.” It would have been just as smart, but I decided to be real douchey.
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Michael: No, and see, I think, too, that the Ravenclaw door would have taken that because as you guys discussed a little bit last week, as you noted, whenever we see anybody answer the door’s question, it doesn’t say, “That’s the right answer.” It says, “Well reasoned,” or, “Well phrased.” It never says, “You got the one right answer.”
Kat: Right.
Michael: So it would seem that the door is encouraging open-minded thought on these questions and that there is no one answer.
Kat: Right.
Michael: It’s a fun thing to note: There is a little just tiny piece here from the Ravenclaw welcome letter from the prefect from Harry’s first year in Sorcerer’s Stone that says, “Some first years are scared by having to answer the eagle’s questions, but don’t worry. Ravenclaws learn quickly and you’ll soon enjoy the challenges the door sets. It’s not unusual to find twenty people standing outside the common room door all trying to work out the answer to the day’s question together. This is a great way to meet fellow Ravenclaws from other years and to learn from them. Although it is a bit annoying if you’ve forgotten your Quidditch robes and need to get in and out in a hurry. In fact, I’d advise you to triple check your bag for everything you need before leaving Ravenclaw tower.” So…
Alison: Also, that is why I could not be a Ravenclaw. That would drive me nuts.
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Kat: Heck, I’m 51% Ravenclaw and that would drive me nuts.
[Alison laughs]
Kat: I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t want to.
Michael: I think this is…
Kat: I think the Sorting Hat would go on my head and I would be like, “Anything that has a password… Just give me a House [with a password].”
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Kat: That’s all I want.
Alison: Easy you.
Michael: I always fancied that it would be fun to be in Ravenclaw, especially after reading the description of their common room. But I feel like this was the confirmation that I probably couldn’t be…
Alison: Yeah.
Michael: … because I don’t think I could put up with this every day.
Kat: Yes. Arjun, what House are you? You’re Gryffindor, right?
Arjun: Oh, man, I don’t know.
Michael: He hasn’t been officially Sorted yet.
Arjun: I identify with all of them. I haven’t been Sorted. How am I not part of…? I don’t know. I don’t know that answer. That makes me stressed.
[Michael laughs]
Kat: You know what, you’ll have to go on Pottermore and then let us know because there’s a Sorting quiz on Pottermore.
Arjun: All right, all right, I’ll do that. But I…
Michael: I’m going to…
Arjun: Yeah?
Michael: I’m going to pull for Gryffindor for you, Arjun. I think you’re a Gryffindor.
Alison: Yeah, that would be my inclination, too.
Michael: I feel that.
Kat: Gryffindor or Ravenclaw, yeah.
Michael: Yeah, I see it.
Arjun: Cool.
Michael: Well, my last point that I just had to put out here — because it is March 10 and it is the birthday of our favorite werewolf, Remus Lupin, as we record this — while this is not his last appearance, this is Lupin’s last appearance alive where he has a line.
Alison: Aww.
Michael: But fittingly — and I think what was very nice — is he’s used to comedic effect, which I thought was really nice.
Alison: Yeah.
Michael: He’s very happy in this moment.
Kat: He’s finally happy, I know, for once.
Alison: Yes. And he’s talking about his family.
Michael: Yes. He feels like Lupin again.
Alison: It’s so nice.
Michael: Right?
Kat: He does.
Michael: He’s gone back to being himself a little bit, so it won’t… this is certainly not our last moment of Lupin love — he does appear in the next chapter. He doesn’t have any lines and that’s the last time we see him before he is also lost. But yes, I just thought it was worthy of note since, as I said, we’re recording on his birthday.
Alison and Kat: Happy birthday, Lupin.
Michael: Major Lupin love.
[Kat howls like werewolf]
Alison: [laughs] I was going to do that.
Michael: [laughs] And as Voldemort arrives at the gates with murder in his heart, thus ends Chapter 30 of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Oooh!
[Alison laughs]
Alison: Well, and before we end our episode, of course we just want to leave it with one last question — our Podcast Question of the Week — and this week we’re talking about Percy. “So as Percy stumbles back into the Room of Requirement and into the Weasley family, he admits that he has been working toward leaving the Ministry of Magic for some time. How long has Percy been planning his prodigal return? Was it just recently, or has it been years? And what spurred his change of heart? Was there a specific event, or was it just the oncoming tides of war?”
Michael: [in a dramatic voice] The oncoming tides of war!
[Everyone laugh]
Michael: Save the magic!
Alison: Well, you can head on over to alohomora.mugglenet.com and let us know what you think in your most dramatic language, as we are.
[Michael laughs]
Kat: Send us an audioBoom, speaking in it…
Michael: [in dramatic voice] A dramatic audioBoom!
Kat: Edwardian speak, that’s what I want to hear. That’s it right there.
Michael: You all have to start your audioBooms with, “It is I.”
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Kat: Well…
Arjun: You all rock audioBoom?
Kat: We do rock audioBoom.
Arjun: Yo, my podcast is on audioBoom. What up, audioBoom?
Kat: Nice.
Arjun: Family love variety here.
Kat: You can send us audioBooms all the time now, then, with questions. How’s that?
Arjun: I’m very technologically stupid or whatever.
[Alison and Kat laugh]
Kat: It’s fine.
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Alison: Oh, the bonus material for this.
Kat: Yeah, this has been an awesome episode, and that is mostly because of our killer guest, Arjun. Thank you so much for taking the time to chat with us today.
Arjun: No, please, thank you. I’m just… the reason that I’m on this podcast — well, I do love Harry Potter — because Kat has shown up and been an incredible supporter and just a dope-ass person in the twice that I’ve hung out with her – no, three times? – two times, with Magicians-related stuff.
Kat: Four times over two days, but yeah. [laughs]
Arjun: Fair enough. But yeah. And so Kat, I thank you for reaching out and inviting me to be on this, I do. And Michael, Alison, it’s lovely to meet you guys. You guys seem like dope people. Let’s do that in person.
Kat: Yeah, let’s do that.
Michael: Oh my God, yes, please. You’re my new best friend. Call me every five minutes.
Kat: Sounds good, yeah. [laughs]
Alison: Tell our listeners a bit where they can find you on the web.
Arjun: You all can find me on Twitter at @ArjunGuptaBK. That’s A-R-J-U-N-G-U-P-T-A-B-K. My theatre company is Ammo Theatre. The podcast, American Desi. I’m on Instagram [at] the same: @arjunguptabk. I don’t Snapchat, so don’t do that to me.
[Alison, Kat, and Michael laugh]
Arjun: That’s it.
Kat: Cool.
Michael: Wow.
Arjun: All right. Well, thank you, guys. Thank you so much for having me on the show.
Kat: Cool.
Michael: So listeners, if you would like to be on the show, you don’t have to be a celebrity just like Arjun.
[Alison and Kat laugh]
Michael: We welcome many and all. And there are, amazingly, spots still available. But my goodness gracious, is it ever getting limited. Am I right?
Kat: Wink, wink. Just kidding. I mean, what?
[Alison, Kat, and Michael laugh]
Alison: What?
Michael: Once again, check on Patreon for that — a little bit more on that later — but you can still be on the show for these discussions of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows chapter-by-chapter. Check out the “Be on the Show” page at alohomora.mugglenet.com. If you have a set of headphones with a built-in mic or a microphone of your own, as well as a recording program on your computer, you’re all set. We really don’t require any fancy, over-the-top equipment because we want to have you here before we’re finished with Deathly Hallows.
Kat: And in the meantime, if you want to just keep in touch with us, send us a tweet about Ron’s showering habits…
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Kat: … you can do that at @AlohomoraMN. We’re on Facebook at facebook.com/openthedumbledore; our Tumblr is mnalohomora.tumblr.com; we’re on Instagram @AlohomoraMN. Of course, our website — you know it, you live it, you love it…
[Michael laughs]
Kat: … alohomora.mugglenet.com. Don’t forget to download a ringtone for free while you’re there. And, as we mentioned, you can send us an owl on audioBoom. It’s free; all you need is an Internet connection and a microphone. Head over to alohomora.mugglenet.com, click the little green button in the right hand menu, keep your message under 60 seconds, and you just might hear yourself on next week’s episode.
Michael: Because, to quote Arjun, we do in fact, “rock the audioBoom.”
Kat: Yes, we do.
[Alison laughs]
Kat: We rock it.
Alison: Yes, we do.
Kat: I really want to hear Edwardian responses to that Podcast Question of the Week. I am not kidding.
Alison: Yeah.
Michael: [as Snape] “It is I.”
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Alison: And if you want to hear all about those secret plans we may or may not be up to, head over to our Patreon page. Just go onto our website — alohomora.mugglenet.com — [and] click on our little Patreon button. You can sponsor us for as low as $1 per month. And we just want to thank everyone who has so far. You guys are amazing. Thank you also for all your nice comments; someone said our rooms were cute at one point.
[Michael laughs]
Alison: You guys are amazing.
Kat: That’s been a really cool video for our post-Hallows plans. And so you won’t get to see our rooms for a while unless you’re a sponsor.
Alison: Yeah. Exactly.
Michael: I was going to say that the bonus is [that] you get to creepily voyeur into our lives.
Kat: Right. It’s true.
Alison: [laughs] See where we live.
Kat: We’re actually really close to our goal of getting Rosie [Morris] over to the US. If we hit our next goal, we’ll be able to bring her over and have a live event.
Alison: Yay!
Michael: Oh my God!
Kat: So we’re hoping that that can happen sometime before the podcast ends. So yes, please sponsor us. We will love you forever and Rosie will very much appreciate it, as will we.
Michael: But for now, we must go and do our duty to Hogwarts because the battle is about to begin. So we’re off for now.
Kat: I’m going to fly away like a bat.
Michael: What, you’re going to fly away like a bat?
[Alison laughs]
Kat: I’m just kidding.
Michael: Well, I’m going to go stand with the statues en guard. I’m Michael Harle.
Kat: I’m Kat Miller.
Alison: I’m Allison Siggard. Thank you for listening to Episode 181 of Alohomora!
Michael: [as the Ravenclaw door knocker] What must one do to discover the wonders that lie beyond?
Kat: Open the Dumbledore?
Michael: Well reasoned.
[Show music begins]
[Michael laughs]
[Show music continues]
Michael: Burb.
Kat: Blurb, blurb.
Michael: Blur-blur-bla-blurb.
[prolonged silence]
Michael: Give me an N! Give me an E! Give… [laughs]
Kat: Give me a V! I mean, you might as well just finish it.
Michael: Give me an I!
Kat: Give me an I-L-L-E!
Michael: Give me an I-double-L-E! [laughs] [in a high-pitched voice] Noooo! [in regular voice] I’m wave…
Kat: Yeah, don’t try to do the last name; that will take another 20 minutes.
Michael: No. I’m waving my Gryffindor-colored [pom-pom]. I’ve got a red pom-pom and a yellow pom-pom imaginary in my hand. [laughs]
Kat: Fabulous.
[prolonged silence]
[Michael laughs]
Kat: It’s not nice to call people names, Alison.
Michael: [laughs] What did you call my mama? [laughs]
Alison: [gasps] All my awesome Civil War stuff got taken out, that’s why.
Michael: I know!
Alison: Dang it! [laughs]
Michael: Captain America, damn it!
Alison: My appreciation for Hawkeye and Ant-Man, gone!
[Michael laughs]
Alison: Lost to the wind forever!
Michael: The really important things…
Alison: [laughs] On a Harry Potter podcast.
Michael: Yes, the things that are most relevant to Harry Potter. So sad, but…
Alison: Okay, Patrick is already mad at us. [laughs]
Michael: I know, right? He’s like, “Oh my God! Stop talking about Civil War.”
[Alison laughs]
Michael: All right. Well, Alison, I will, I guess, let you take it away and do as you do.
Alison: Okay. Here we go…
