Transcript – Episode 97

[Show music begins]

Eric Scull: This is Episode 97 of Alohomora! for August 16, 2014.

[Show music continues]

Eric: Hello everyone, and welcome to Alohomora! I’m Eric Scull.

Laura Reilly: I’m Laura Reilly.

Rosie Morris: And I’m Rosie Morris. And it is my pleasure to introduce our very special guest for today, Nicole Rivera, who is actually the author of The Parables of Harry Potter and a MuggleNet Creative Team member. So welcome to the show, Nicole.

Nicole Rivera: Thank you! I’m glad to be here.

Rosie: Would you like to tell the audience a little bit about yourself?

Nicole: I’m a [pronounces as “Rah-venclaw”] Ravenclaw…

Eric: A what?

Nicole: I’m obviously… a Ravenclaw, sorry.

[Eric and Nicole laugh]

Nicole: I’m obviously a writer, too. Yeah, I’ve read the books at least seven times now, depending. The whole series through at least seven times, not counting individual books. Yeah.

Laura: Where are you from?

Nicole: Well, I was going to say sunny south Florida, but right now it’s not very sunny. So south Florida.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Well, I suppose you would have to read the books quite a bit if you’re writing a book about the books.

Nicole: Yeah. Well, the book about the books was actually my final project for my master’s, so it was a 400 page analysis. So I had to read them quite a few times.

Eric: Wow. Okay.

Nicole: Yeah.

Rosie: And what parables of Harry Potter did you find?

Nicole: A lot.

[Eric, Nicole, and Rosie laugh]

Nicole: I basically just took scenes from the book and then had to relate them back to biblical scriptures and things. So yeah, there’s a lot. There’s a lot. Yeah.

Rosie: Very interesting. So we have a veritable expert on the show this week, so it should be a good one.

Nicole: [laughs] I wouldn’t say expert, but yeah…

[Nicole and Rosie laugh]

Rosie: Before we start the main episode, we have to remind you guys as always to read Chapter 19 of Order of the Phoenix, which is the chapter that we’ll be discussing this episode. And that is “The Lion and Serpent,” so we’ve got lots of Quidditch-y goodness coming up.

Eric: Mhm. But before we do that, we have some comments on last week’s episode. And starting with Hufflepug, we discussed Chapter 18 of Order of the Phoenix last week. So Hufflepug says,

“We only know that you can’t conjure food due to Gamp’s Law, but I think it’s safe to assume that the things you can’t conjure are all things that would allow you to surpass common struggles of life and survival, such as money, love, or life. So if that’s true, I don’t think the Room of Requirement would have many issues in conjuring things that its users need. It’s easier to believe that than to believe that everything was once hidden there because wizarding society changes all the time… who really would have left all of those apparently up-to-date books on defensive magic there, especially since not many people seem to know about the room? Side note: I wonder if the fame that the DA reached later in life (according to that one Pottermore update) caused the wizarding world to have common knowledge of the Room of Requirement and if it was still in use after the Fiendfyre incident.”

Okay, so this is actually a big debate, and many people in the comments were talking about this; about how exactly the Room of Requirement works based on last week’s discussion.

Laura: Yeah, I think… the way I always saw it, especially stuff like food; the way I always thought of conjuring things was almost that you had to know that it existed somewhere else and it was yours. I couldn’t just conjure a Ferrari unless I owned one and wanted to summon it almost…

[Eric and Rosie laugh]

Laura: … so I felt like even when Molly conjures food, it’s because she’s already cooked it and it’s elsewhere, or whatever. And I think the Room of Requirement works like that, where the stuff is elsewhere, perhaps just in Hogwarts, and it’s able to bring anything that was either left there or elsewhere in Hogwarts. I’m not sure.

Eric: So the question is: Who put it there? Who made sure that Hogwarts had a supply of the latest books that aren’t being used by students? I mean, did the Room of Requirement rob these seventh year students of their spell books for the hour that they needed to appear on the shelf in the Room of Requirement?

Nicole: Could it have access to the library, possibly? Since it can pull from other parts of the castle?

[Eric and Nicole laugh]

Eric: Well, we do… it’s a good question. We have a comment from Subjective Unicorn that I’ll read next. They say,

“Hi everyone! Haven’t read you for a while. To me the Room of Requirement seems to be working together with house-elves. It’s like a Hogwarts storage room with immeasurable magically extended space. The collection of the objects would not work properly without the house-elves, who as we know clean the castle and probably bring all broken, unused objects into the room. This explains Moody’s mirror and towers of broken objects, which Harry sees there in the sixth book. The appearing of objects is [in] my opinion a mix of transfiguration and pulling out the objects [that] are already there. I think firstly if something is needed the room will ‘scan’ its storage, [and] if the desired object is not there, it will transfigure [something] into the needed object. As we know no one has tried to bring the received objects out of the room, maybe the magic will not work outside, so the object would turn into the original thing if brought outside the room. Of course the room reacts on people’s wishes, which to me is quite a house-elf like magic, like for example the plates at the Yule Ball. The plates did not read people’s minds but reacted quite quickly to their choice of dishes. Because it’s house-elf magic, the wizard will know nothing about how it works, mostly due to their ignorance. Actually I am surprised no one, not even Hermion[e] is trying to research the magic of the room.”

Rosie: Hmm. I don’t know. I think that it doesn’t necessarily have to be things that already exist. Well, I mean, the books will exist, but not necessarily within the school. I think they can be conjured as copies of things that exist in the world outside… but that within that, you have to fix with Gamp’s Laws, so you can’t do food, you can’t do the things that… you can’t do love or life or money. So you couldn’t, say, walk past the Room of Requirement and think, “I need 10,000 Galleons,” and suddenly there would be 10,000 Galleons inside…

Laura: Right.

Rosie: … because again, if that was going from things that would already be inside the school, then it could easily just steal the money from everyone in the school and give you those 10,000 Galleons… probably not even that much, but still. I think it has to be a bit more nuanced than that. But I do agree there could be some kind of connection to the house-elf magic, and I love the idea of all the house-elves hiding all of the broken things in that room. Yeah, it’s a nice idea… but yeah, I think the magic itself is a little bit more complicated than that.

Laura: Yeah, I like the comment that said that no one to our knowledge has tried to bring things out of the Room of Requirement to use them. I guess the only thing I could think of… well no, not even… I was going to say the Horcrux, maybe, but I don’t know if…

Rosie: But that wasn’t created by the room. That was put inside the room.

Laura: Right, yeah, that was in the movie where it actually physically left the room. But yeah, I don’t think… I think it’s possible that the stuff that they need can only be used within the room, and if you tried to bring it outside, I don’t know what would happen, but…

Eric: It’s very interesting to think that some of those items could just be transfigured objects that are actually other items, especially something like a book with knowledge in it. Where does that come from if it’s not already constructed in exactly that way? How would that work? But the argument rages on. Our third and final comment for the week is from thebandthatneedsnointroduction. All right.

[Eric and Rosie laugh]

Eric: [continues]

“I don’t agree with the theory that the Room of Requirement selects items from the hidden things stored inside it over the years. In ‘Deathly Hallows,’ Seamus informs the trio how Neville has become expert in asking the room for ‘exactly what is needed.’ So a whole girl’s bathroom section appears when they start joining the DA group. A tunnel appears to Hogsmeade when they need supplies. In OotP, it creates exactly what is needed to practise DADA. However the magic of the room works, it presents to the user precisely what they need at that point. The most impressive part of the magic is that it can understand the needs of the witch/wizard from their thoughts as they walk past three times. If it can do that, surely it isn’t as important whether it conjures the needed items or fetches them from some kind of storage?”

Rosie: Very true. [laughs]

Eric: So that’s interesting. People are choosing to focus more on the fact that the room can read your mind to begin with. So yeah, just really… we always say this every episode, but the comments that we got on last week’s discussion are excellent. There are far too many to read here. There was a really funny dialogue that was written between the four founders of Hogwarts by HufflePug and SheFlooLikeAMadman, so you should go check that out on our Alohomora! website as well as our discussion forums.

Laura: And now, moving on to our Podcast Question of the Week responses, we also got a ton for that question. So it says, “Daniel Radcliffe,” dipping into the movies for a bit, “stated that for the production of Order of the Phoenix, he had input into Harry’s wardrobe for the Dumbledore’s Army scenes. He cited that David Thewlis’s – who played Lupin – costumes in Prisoner were specifically his inspiration.” So piggybacking off of that, “With this in mind, as well as how Harry is elected leader by members of the DA, where does Harry draw inspiration for his teaching styles from? What makes him qualified to instruct other students in defensive magic?” So that’s kind of two separate questions. But this first answer is from Slytherin Knight and it says,

“I think that Harry draws his inspiration from Remus and Crouch Jr/Moody; they are the only two competent Defense teachers that he’s seen. I think he combines their teaching methods; Harry uses Remus’ approachable attitude and easy-going personality while using CJr/Moody’s aggressive ‘faith’ in his students. Crouch Jr pushed his students by treating them not as children but as young adults and saying that they were ready for more advanced works, pushing them to excel.”

Laura: So pretty much the majority of listeners in the responses said mostly Lupin in their answers and also a lot of Moody-Crouch, so that comment sums up the large majority of the responses that we got. So what do you guys think about that?

Eric: Hmm.

Nicole: I was definitely going to say Lupin for my answer because it seems like the only good, competant, wholly sane teacher he had.

Rosie: But that’s also just Defense Against the Dark Arts. He’s had other brilliant teachers; he’s got McGonagall and he’s got… Madam Hooch, with her Quidditch teaching.

Eric: Right.

Rosie: He knows how to teach from other people’s examples as well, but it’s just the defense aspect that we have Remus and Moody-Crouch.

Laura: As far as the vibe, pretty much that whole Boggart instruction scene that Lupin did with his students, that whole vibe of that lesson is very similar to the vibe of the DA meetings.

Rosie: Yes, true.

Laura: Kind of like all groups supporting each other and everyone taking turns to learn it hands on… it’s a bit more fun, relaxed. I think that’s where he’s drawing from.

Eric: Mhm.

Rosie: It’s very much practical example-based teaching. So you have a problem, you have a solution, and you’ll work together to work out how to achieve that goal.

Laura: Yeah.

Rosie: Yeah, and that works very well in a lesson where you need to have a very practical outcome. So yeah, it’s the perfect style really for this kind of teaching, unlike Umbridge. [laughs]

Laura: Right. But speaking of Umbridge, this next comment comes from SurprisinglySwishy and they say,

“I think some of the biggest influences on his teaching style are actually Umbridge and Snape. Umbridge is the most obvious influence. They’ve formed this club because of her teaching methods, so it seems natural that he would strive to do the exact opposite of everything she is doing. I think Harry’s also conscious of the effect of Snape’s cruelty on students’ learning. I think he makes a point to be kind and encouraging in reaction to this, particularly in dealing with Neville.”

So this user is pretty much saying that the inspiration is to just do the exact opposite of what the teachers are doing…

[Rosie laughs]

Laura: … which is valid.

Nicole: And also Lupin was one of the few teachers that actually pushed Neville and inspired him and told him he could do things, which is something that Harry is doing that we don’t necessarily see in all of the other teachers. Not that they didn’t, but…

Rosie: Mhm.

Eric: It’s kind of like Harry’s the one who at the beginning of all of this said, “I can’t… this was all luck,” but he’s actually got to give the students a fighting chance. He has to teach them the extent of his knowledge. He’s going all out, he’s teaching them everything he knows because it’s all he has, because he doesn’t know a whole lot. But he wants to make sure that everybody understands as much as he does so that they have perhaps an equal chance of surviving against Voldemort.

Rosie: It’s also weird that he’s learned things over the years as well just from… from Hermione even as a teacher.

Eric: Right.

Rosie: She kind of finds spells that might be useful for him in the various tasks he’s had to overcome, and they’ve literally just found a classroom or a space and practiced them and practiced them and practiced them, just like the DA are doing. So it’s a method that he knows works for him and he’s giving that to other people.

Nicole: Yeah, because in many ways Hermione, in his fourth year, was one of his teachers when he was practicing his Summoning Charms. So he learned a lot also from her teaching style, so to say.

Laura: Yeah. So, just speaking more on his teaching style and more on the latter part of the post question, I Got Transfigured into a Rhubarb says,

“I’m a teacher. The best kind of teachers learn from experience and observation of other teachers. What’s good? What’s not? They take it and apply it to their work. It makes them better teachers. Harry draws from Lupin and his own experience and somewhat minimal logic. He reflects on his own experience. He realises that the most important spells to learn first are the supposedly easy ones. His first defence spell he ever learnt was the very one that saved his life. Harry also isn’t afraid to show that he’s the facilitator. He has the knowledge. Harry makes it clear where they all stand immediately. That’s a mark of a good teacher. Experience, knowledge, observation, behaviour boundaries, and if needed a classroom contract.”

Rosie: Hmm.

Laura: Very interesting. This last comment also, just to close with, is very similar on Harry’s kind of teaching style, and Keeper of Keys says,

“The most noticeable thing in my opinion was Harry’s commitment to starting with the easier stuff and working up. He didn’t burst into the Room of Requirement starting them each on conjuring a Patronus. He exhibits a practicality in his teaching, and I think that he takes that from most of the teachers at Hogwarts, namely McGonagall and Snape – both of whom are shown to take their students through lessons that start small and work up to the big stuff; however, he is more encouraging and understanding than Snape, so that reminds me more of a McGonagall or a Flitwick. And obviously the by-the-book-method Umbridge uses is ineffective, so he does the exact opposite.”

Nicole: Well, Snape was the first one who came up with… in the Dueling Club he was the one who came up with… starting off with the Disarming Charm. So he did kind of pick that up from him.

Eric: And it’s not like there is a book that they could be referencing right now. [laughs] The book of all the spells your teachers aren’t teaching you. Go.

[Laura and Rosie laugh]

Rosie: As written by the Weasley twins.

[Laura, Nicole, and Rosie laugh]

Eric: That’s right, they could be published authors; instead they’re jokesters. Oh well.

Rosie: So it seems that everyone is pretty much in agreement on who the good teachers are and who the bad teachers are at Hogwarts. [laughs]

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: It’s funny to have a Podcast Question of The Week that asks that…

[Eric, Laura, Rosie laugh]

Eric: … so late in the game. But yeah, we get it.

Rosie: I feel like we’ve gone really quickly through these comments, but I think it’s just because everyone’s been so brilliant this week that there’s been no need for input from us. [laughs]

Laura: Yeah, I kind of agree with most of what…

Eric: We’re actually only putting in comments now that we agree with.

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: Sorry, everybody else.

[Laura and Rosie laugh]

Rosie: Thank you everyone for those comments. As we just said, they were extremely good. So we hope that you can continue this trend next week with our next Podcast Question of the Week. But do feel free to throw in some contentious points in there as well, just because we like to argue occasionally. [laughs] But before we get to that Podcast Question of the Week, we have to discuss the actual chapter.

Eric: Woo!

Laura: Yay!

[Order of the Phoenix Chapter 19 intro begins]

Luna: Chapter 19.

[Sounds of a lion roar and people screaming]

Luna: “The Lion and The Serpent.”

[Order of the Phoenix Chapter 19 intro ends]

Rosie: So it is a brand new day, and I think we have a little bit of time passing in-between the beginning of this chapter and the end of the last one. And Harry is finally happy. He is making real progress with Dumbledore’s Army; even Neville has managed to disarm Hermione. And Hermione has come up with a brilliant way to organize the group and to say when their ever-changing meetings will happen. She has decided to cast the Protean Charm on some Galleons, and it just shows that Hermione is amazing. This is NEWT-level work. Even if she was inspired by the Dark Arts this time, we can forgive her that because it is just outstanding.

Laura: I really loved all of the students’ reactions to her.

Rosie: Yeah. They were just gobsmacked.

Laura: When they were like, “Wait, what? Excuse me?”

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: And Hermione’s like, “I know, I’m awesome.”

Rosie: It’s nice to have that just to show her on that kind of level. And her reaction to that as well is, “Oh, okay.” Humble.

Eric: Yeah. I really like that she got the idea from dark magic and… I remember liking it when I first read it because it reminded me of the big scientific breakthroughs like penicillin. A lot of people had to die and a lot of bacteria had to grow before you could come up with this antibody that’s this saving grace that saves countless lives. So it’s like you need that dark side of things to get the light, to get the good, to understand all aspects of it. So she’s using this charm and it’s doing good for them.

Laura: Yeah.

Rosie: It’s nice to do good things out of bad things.

Eric: Yes.

Rosie: [laughs] But Dumbledore’s Army actually comes second to Quidditch as Angelina increases the amount of practices in the lead-up to the first game, which is Gryffindor versus Slytherin. Even Professor McGonagall is pushing for a win as she refrains from setting homework for the first time ever to give them more time to practice because she has grown accustomed to seeing the Quidditch Cup in her office.

[Eric laughs]

Rosie: Snape, on the other hand, is ignoring hexes on Gryffindors and books the pitch up so many times that Gryffindor finds it quite hard to practice. So I wonder where Angelina is actually booking these practices? It kind of contradicts itself there, Jo… never mind. Ron is still having issues with confidence despite having a few lucky saves during their practices, and he’s really letting the nerves get to him even before they reach the pitch. Luna has a fantastic hat which we will talk more about later.

Eric: Yes!

[Laura laughs]

Rosie: And we get a first little glimpse of a real bit of romance starting to blossom between Hermione and Ron as she kisses his cheek, and he gets knocked sideways and does the traditional hand-on-the-cheek what-just-happened moment. It has a bit of a curious effect.

Laura: [in a girlish voice] “I’m never washing this cheek again.”

[Eric, Laura, and Rosie laugh]

Eric: “That’s okay, because I didn’t wash it to begin with.”

[Laura and Rosie laugh]

Eric: Nobody showers at Hogwarts.

[Laura and Rosie laugh]

Eric: Nobody.

[Laura and Rosie laugh]

Rosie: But sadly, it doesn’t distract him for long and the Quidditch match takes place and we all know what happens next. So let’s kick right into the start and talk about Luna’s fantastic hat, just because we have to discuss the hat. Did she make it? Did she buy it? She said there was no time to add a serpent that the lion would be chewing. It’s just brilliant…

Laura: She definitely made it.

Nicole: Yeah, yeah, I think she made it. Because didn’t her dad… they make a hat in Book 7…

Rosie: True.

Nicole: The crazy hat…

Rosie: They made their own diadem.

Nicole: Yeah.

Eric: Well, they’re just hat makers…

Nicole: [laughs] Yeah.

Eric: They… yeah, wow. This hat is just for me all about the cooperation between houses. This is all what Dumbledore has wanted…

Laura: Mhm.

Eric: Luna is there to cheer on a team that she’s not… a house that she’s not part of. And that is… and the Slytherins are too, of course, but it’s for a much different reason. So yeah, I think that the hat is just one of those brilliant moments in the books. And also seeing people do this at conventions and stuff…

Rosie: Mhm. It’s brilliant.

Eric: … seeing the Lunas there with the lion hats, the lion hats are always so ornate and really wonderful looking. And some of them even roar, so…

[Rosie laughs]

Eric: … it’s just a cool idea in the books that’s so cool to see in real life as well.

Rosie: But think about the amount of magic that it would have taken as well.

Eric: Oh, yeah.

Rosie: To make it roar and everything.

Eric: Yeah.

Rosie: What kind of… is that transfiguration? Is it a charm?

Laura: I think it would be a charm. Probably.

Eric: Yeah…

Laura: I don’t know.

[Rosie laughs]

Eric: I mean, she could have gotten a lion and cut its head off.

[Laura and Rosie laugh]

Eric: But I don’t…

Rosie: Hopefully not.

Eric: Yeah, no idea on that one.

[Rosie laughs]

Laura: I love that in the movie this was included in Half-Blood Prince because the whole Quidditch plot in Order of the Pheonix is fully not there…

[Eric laughs]

Laura: … so you think that this would be a moment that would have gone to the wayside, but it didn’t, and I’m just really happy about that. Because it…

Rosie: Yeah.

Laura: The hat doesn’t roar in the movie, but it still looks great.

Eric: Yeah.

Rosie: And it is on show at the Studio Tour. If anyone manages to go there, make sure you do keep an eye out for that lions hat, which…

Eric: Is somebody wearing it?

Rosie: … is actually slightly hidden. No, it’s on a shelf above a door…

Eric: Oh, okay.

Rosie: So if you go from one bit to another, and you don’t look around the entire rooms and don’t look up and behind you then you will miss it. So do keep an eye out for it.

Eric: So look up and behind you, okay.

[Rosie laughs]

Eric: The lion hat is hidden. Good to know.

Laura: Eric is storing it.

Eric: Yeah, I’m just… for one day when I eventually get to the Studio Tour.

Rosie: You will. You have to.

Eric: Aww.

Rosie: I’m forcing you to now.

Eric: Oh, okay. All right.

[Rosie laughs]

Nicole: Now what you said about inter-house cooperation, like Dumbledore said, do you think that Luna, perhaps, could have been a Hatstall? Or…

Laura: No.

Nicole: … do we know if she’s a Hatstall?

Laura: I think she’s the most thouroughly Ravenclaw person that there is. [laughs]

Nicole: Really? Oh.

Laura: I…

Nicole: Sometimes I see a little Hufflepuff in her sometimes.

Laura: Well, I…

Eric: [laughs] Oh…

Laura: That’s not…

[Nicole laughs]

Laura: It’s true. She has qualities. Remember, she’s clearly brave, and she’s clearly outgoing and everything, but she’s just so inquisitive and – I don’t know – she’s just so Ravenclaw to me. [laughs]

Rosie: [laughs] She’s always looking for knowledge, even if that knowledge is not conventional. So yeah, I agree that she’s extremely Ravenclaw.

Eric: It’s just that this is the house that her friends are in, that she’s now working with in the DA and stuff. And this was just taking her friendship with them a step up, in my opinion.

Rosie Mhm. Plus, she has a crush on Ron, so…

Nicole: Yeah.

Laura: Wait, what?

Rosie: [laughs] Have you not…? They kind of play it up in the movie a little bit where she’s always making weird comments to him. Do you know see that?

Laura: I’ve never gotten that impression.

Rosie: Okay. I’ve always thought she had a bit of a crush on him.

Eric: I don’t think I’ve ever seen that either. [laughs]

Nicole: I thought she did, too, because right here when she has her hat, right before she leaves to go to the Quidditch match, she just says something about “Oh, and say hi to Ronald” or something. I don’t remember what she said.

Rosie: She’s always making little comments where whatever happens is always “Hello, Ron.”

Laura: I totally never got that impression whatsoever.

Rosie: Really?

Laura: Yeah.

Rosie: Okay.

Eric: It kind of weirds me out, now that you say it. [laughs]

[Nicole and Rosie laugh]

Laura: Yeah, I always just saw Luna as being very aloof to… not having much of an interest. And at least at this moment in time, just not her priorities at the moment.

Eric: But I think it’s important for Luna that Ron knows that he has her support, too, though. Because Ron needs that support.

Rosie: Yes.

Laura: Yeah, I saw it as a friend thing, what Eric is saying. But I do think we get the impression that the Ravenclaws and the Slytherins support each other and the Hufflepuffs and the Gryffindors in Quidditch for when they’re not versing each other. The Ravenclaws and the Slytherins kind of side with each other, and I like that… obviously, Luna’s friends are in Gryffindor, but still. It shows that you don’t have to think with… it’s not all about groupthink, that you can have individual opinions.

Rosie: [laughs] I think the divide between Slytherin and the rest of the houses is growing at this point as well, with Umbridge attacking everyone, not just the Gryffindors, at this point.

Eric: Right.

Rosie: It’s starting to take its toll on those relationships. As far as I know, all of the Inquisitorial Squad that we’ll meet later on are Slytherins. So yeah, there is a bigger divide happening, especially when she’s attacking people like Trelawney, and all of the students are able to see her interfering with the school. They’re all pitching in together a bit more, as helped by things like the DA, where you have got interhouse unity happening against her and against the Slytherins… the force. But we do have a Quidditch match to get to. And as usual, Lee Jordan is commenting, commentating even, on the events of the match. He makes inappropriate comments about Alicia Spinnet…

[Eric laughs]

Rosie: … and all of those kinds of things as normal. McGonagall stood next to him telling him off. And at one point he says, “Listen to the crowd! What are they singing?” And you just hang your head and say, “Lee, why did you say that?” Because of course, they are singing “Weasley Is Our King.”

Eric: It’s so nice to see the Slytherins come out in support of Ron, wouldn’t you say?

Rosie: Sure. [laughs]

Laura: Ugh. [laughs]

Eric: Until you realize why they’re singing…

Rosie: It’s a very positive song if you ignore two thirds of it.

[Eric laughs]

Laura: Yeah. I mean, this is just one of my absolute… it just gets right to the core of me, of making me sad. Because this is probably the most outright bullying that we see. Obviously, Hermione has had many issues in the past, but they were 11. This is bad. And especially for what it… what we’ll get to of how it bubbles over later is… just this whole sequence of events just makes me sick.

Rosie: What’s worse is that it never seems to have any repercussions. There is no visible telling-off of the Slytherins. They’re allowed to do this again and again for each Quidditch match.

Eric: I’m glad you brought that up, Rosie, and I think, Laura, you mentioned bullying and its role in that. I mean, I’m trying to see this looking at the song – at least the verses that they have in this scene – it’s not that different from a standard sports cheer that you’d find. I mean, “Weasley cannot block a thing. He cannot block a single ring?” That’s fair. [laughs] That’s just how you throw shade at the other team.

Laura: Well, I guess that’s true. The part that bothers me… if it [were] more just that, then fine, I can definitely see where you’re coming from, where it is just all in the name of sport or whatever. It’s the digs like that he was born in a bin, stuff like that. That’s where it crosses a line.

Nicole: Yeah.

Rosie: Yeah. It gets personal.

Laura: It’s also very bad tempo. That line does not fit in the song.

[Rosie laughs]

Laura: “Weasley was born in a bin.” That does not flow. But that’s a separate issue.

Eric: Well, it rhymes with “He always lets the Quaffle in,” which is the next line.

Rosie: [sings] “Weasley was born in a bin. He always lets the Quaffle in.” Yeah, it kind of fits.

Eric: [sings] “Weasley will make sure we win. Weasley is our king.”

[Eric and Rosie laugh]

Laura: I never thought there was a tune to it.

Rosie: There isn’t a tune.

Eric: We can all make our own tune. Follow the bouncing ball!

[Rosie laughs]

Eric: But no, the “born in a bin,” you’re right, that is the line where it gets… and we know from later on that there'[re] much worse things that they wanted to say. But for actually what’s in the song, though, the song right now at this moment in this scene, it’s fine. I mean, besides the “born in a bin,” whichwas slightly offensive, it’s really about his playing skills and how they salute him for sucking. So it’s…

[Nicole laughs]

Laura: Well, I guess that’s true.

Rosie: But in a way that’s why it’s so horrible because it is that acceptable bullying…

Eric: Yeah.

Rosie: … that sports does encourage.

Laura: What upsets me so much about it is that it’s… my hometown, which I did not go to high school in because I hate it so deeply because of how much sports is revered in my town… it is the most important thing in the world.

Eric: Did you grow up in Footloose, Arkansas?

[Nicole laughs]

Laura: No, but it’s pretty much just… this feels like something that’s so real, that could happen of just kids being targeted so badly for not being the best at something. Obviously, he’s on the team, and Hogwarts only has one sport, so he should be better at it, but at the same time… I don’t know. It’s just something about it. I don’t know if it’s just personal problems with people making fun of people. I don’t know. It upsets me deeply. But you’re right, Eric. It is, I guess…

Eric: For me, I go back to what J.K. Rowling first said about Quidditch in an interview where she’s like, “Honestly, I hate writing it, and I have to make a great effort to distinguish each game from every other game because they all just run together.” And so a sports chant was the natural progression. Eventually this sort of thing would happen between the houses. And so I view it, from a narrative standpoint, as being like, “Okay, now they’re singing songs that egg each other on.” They don’t have cheerleaders on the Quidditch team, so this is the next nearest thing.

Laura: They should. I mean, I hate the idea of that, but why not?

Eric: [laughs] No, they shouldn’t. They shouldn’t. No.

Laura: Just give us maybe another student an opportunity at participating in physical activity.

Eric: Yeah.

Rosie: Psychologically as well, this really cuts to Ron’s main insecurity. This is the Mirror of Erised turned directly on its head where he is getting all of the popularity but for exactly the wrong reason. It’s pointing out all of his flaws, it’s pointing out all of the things that he doesn’t want pointed out, and he’s really in the spotlight in a way that he really doesn’t want to be. So yeah, it’s just heartrending. Poor Ron.

Laura: And I’m sure it has to be getting to Fred and George, too.

Rosie: Yeah.

Laura: I know we’ll get to this in our Question of the Week, but they can distance themselves from Ron all they want, but he’s still their brother, and he, of course, still actually loves them. Or vice versa. And I think it’s probably… whereas Ron is getting flustered, I’m sure the twins are just getting more angry…

Rosie: Angry.

Laura: … and it’s probably actually enhancing their game, but at the same time it has to affect them, too, just in the same way it’s affecting Harry. Harry is not paying attention either.

Rosie: Being Beaters, it must quite a better role to take when this kind of thing is going on because you can literally just whack a ball into people.

[Eric, Laura, and Rosie laugh]

Rosie: But you do have to think. Eric, you said a second ago that Jo really hates writing Quidditch, and to be fair, Quidditch is pretty rubbish if you can play as badly as Ron has been playing in this match and your team still wins just because Harry manages to get the Snitch first.

Eric: No! That’s not rubbish at all!

[Rosie laughs]

Eric: Not rubbish at all.

Nicole: It is. 150 points for catching the Snitch?

Eric: But you got to get over that. That was in Book 1 that was introduced.

[Nicole laughs]

Eric: That was… It’s long gone.

Nicole: I know.

Eric: Make your peace. Move on.

Laura: But at the same time, I fully agree. I feel like Quidditch in real life – in Muggle Quidditch – they have managed to fix this almost. Getting the Quaffle matters in real Quidditch.

[Laura and Nicole laugh]

Eric: Well, it matters, but…

Laura: Oh, that one time – remember that one time Krum caught the Snitch, and they didn’t win. Remember that one time? It’s such a rarity.

Eric: No, in the books… okay, I love Quidditch. 150 points is a lot of points, okay, but I like that you get these Quidditch games that can go on for weeks.

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: Because the game only ends once you catch the Snitch, remember that.

Laura: When has that happened?

Nicole: Yeah.

Eric: I mean, not in Harry Potter’s short seven years of existence, right? But there are previous World Cups that lasted for weeks and weeks and weeks, and I think Quidditch Through the Ages probably has a lot of examples of all [of] the records. And they had to keep bringing in substitutions. But getting back to this chapter, though, Harry is able to do his friend a solid. He’s able to stifle the pain and soften the blow to Gryffindor House by winning the game for them. And I think that’s really why it works in this chapter because Harry is able to help out Ron even though he can’t…

Rosie: But it also plays into Ron’s insecurity again because Harry has to save him.

Eric: Yeah, but that’s teamwork. You got to do that as a team, no matter what. You got to work together, so…

Rosie: So Harry does catch the Snitch. And they all land, and they all say… actually, they say, “Are you okay?” because we see that Crabbe or… is it Crabbe or Goyle? I think it’s Crabbe.

Eric: I think it’s Crabbe.

Nicole: Yeah.

Rosie: Crabbe managed to hit a Bludger [at] him last minute, so yet again he gets a slight Quidditch injury but nothing as bad as we’ve seen previously.

[Eric laughs]

Rosie: And Malfoy lands as well and starts taunting them, saying, “You really saved Ron this time, didn’t you?” And “Did you like [his] song?” because of course, it was Malfoy’s idea. This eventually builds up and builds up until we get into a fist fight with Malfoy and George as well, and Fred is being held back by the rest of the team. And I loved what McGonagall calls it. She calls it “Muggle dueling” because “fighting” is not a good enough word, apparently.

[Everyone laughs]

Rosie: And we see her get extremely stressed. She’s going to dock as many points as she wants from her own house. Everything’s overriding the joy of finally winning the Quidditch match. But here we see Umbridge coming into the situation again with her annoying little cough and overriding McGonagall. She has deliberately picked up on some of the words McGonagall has used and gone to the Minister and complained and got the power herself to override teachers and override punishments that the teachers have set.

Laura: And she’s also… I hated the line that she said where she was like, “Then I would just be a common teacher” if she didn’t have this.

Rosie: Yeah. So much better-than-thou.

Laura: In the same tone almost in the way people like this say “Muggles” or whatever. “Common teacher.” And I guess for how long McGonagall has been here and everything, that just got to me, where I was just, “Ugh, McGonagall, common.”

Eric: Well, McGonagall is acting recklessly here, too, in front of the students because Umbridge says, “Let me point out Educational Decree No. 25,” and McGonagall is like, “Not another one!”

[Nicole laughs]

Eric: “Not another one!” And she’s like, “Well, yes, yes, as a matter of fact.” So it really is just funny. McGonagall says what we’re all thinking, but that never happens. That never ever happens.

Laura: I don’t care because McGonagall… I think because it’s definitely risky because McGonagall… she can clearly get rid of whoever she wants to get rid of because we see that with Dumbledore. But at the same time, McGonagall is in the safest position because even for how much she opposes Umbridge, she is the most rule-following teacher otherwise.

Rosie: And a very competent teacher as well.

Laura: Yeah, a very competent teacher, very strict. She’s punishing her own kids and stuff. She’s… so I think McGonagall knows she isn’t going anywhere unless she really outright does something, so she can toe that line, probably moreso than anyone else without serious repercussions. I also think she’s just fed up by the whole thing and just really doesn’t care. She has been here for a while and… yeah.

Rosie And emotions are running high anyway because she’s reacting to the fight at the end of the match as well, so she’s not in total control when she does have the outburst.

Eric: Malfoy went way too far.

Rosie Yeah.

Laura: But if we can go back that fight for a little bit, I’m surprised that Harry did react the way he did because earlier in the chapter, when someone made some comment – I think it was Pansy – to him, and he was so used to things by this point that he could easily let it go and just not have it be a problem, I… obviously, when he insults his own mother…

Rosie: Yeah.

Laura: … I can get that, but this isn’t the first time that Malfoy has done that. Malfoy does that literally all of the time. That, I think… I don’t know. It was clearly really stupid for Harry, and it was clearly emotions running high. But I really think that Harry still could have restrained himself, especially if he was restraining George, who… the twins do have that temper…

Rosie: Mhm.

Laura: … and were going to go for it. That… I don’t know. It makes me mad.

Eric: Well, really, I think the most interesting thing about the fight is that Harry uses the Snitch as an accessory.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: It’s in his hand, and he punches Malfoy with the hand holding the Snitch, and it just… I wonder if he hurt the Snitch. I mean, come on. It’s just… but it really just gets… he just punches Malfoy once and then got… and then gets…

Nicole: I got the impression that he punched him more than once. Because then later he’s… he punched him in the face or something when they’re in the office, so he was punching him over and over again.

Laura: Yeah, that’s the impression I got, too, that it was a little bit of a dog-piling thing.

Nicole: Yeah. Yeah.

Eric: Oh.

Laura: Which is why I was thinking that maybe Crabbe and Goyle, being right there, would have come to his aide a little bit, but I guess not.

Nicole: I kind of thought that… I don’t know. When I was rereading it, I was thinking, “Did Umbridge set this up?” Because later she would form the Inquisitorial Squad, so I didn’t… maybe she had Crabbe… I don’t know. It kind of felt like she might have set it up.

Eric: That’s interesting.

Rosie Maybe she sets up the squad as a reaction to this rather than the other way around.

Nicole: Because I felt like she was looking for a reason to get Harry back for just being Harry.

Rosie Maybe she wrote the song.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: She’s a secret poet.

Laura: I don’t think Umbridge necessarily set it up, but I think she was probably delighted by the whole thing and just…

Nicole: Yeah.

Rosie Well, the fistfight, for me, reminds me most of when Harry pulled his wand on Dudley at the beginning of the book. Dudley taunts him about his mother as well, or about Cedric, and that triggers the fighting response. So it’s interesting, this time, that he doesn’t go for his wand. Do they have wands when they’re flying? I’m not sure. They have done in the past, but I don’t think it’s mentioned in this particular…

Eric: That’s an interesting, yeah, thought.

Rosie He goes for a Muggle fistfight rather than anything else.

Eric: Yeah.

Laura: Yeah, and I’m surprised. I mean, I… it’s hard to see, I guess, how fast this was broken up or not, but I don’t know. I feel like the fact that the other students are just standing aside for a bit… I don’t know. Maybe they just didn’t have enough time to react, but I guess it must have been because Fred says later that he would have totally beat the crap out of Malfoy if he’d had the opportunity to.

Rosie Yeah. They were holding him back.

Laura: Which would have been great. Then again, I love any scene that acknowledges George as being a separate character because Fred is usually the only one who has lines by himself.

[Eric and Rosie laugh]

Nicole: I also think that Harry chose his fist over his wand because we even see Hermione in Book 3 punch Malfoy.

Rosie True. Everyone just wants to punch Malfoy.

Eric: Malfoy is… [laughs]

Nicole: I think they all punch Malfoy by the end of the series. Or kick him or something. Didn’t Ron hit him in the seventh book?

Laura: Yeah, doesn’t Ron punch him, too, or something? [laughs]

Nicole: So they all get a chance.

Rosie: Good. Okay. [laughs]

Laura: Yeah. I think that I have to agree with what Nicole just said. That punching them… it’s just more visceral. It’s that satisfying feeling. It’s what he deserves. Magic… because whatever – if they hex him or I don’t know, whatever they do – can be easily fixed, but if he’s punched in the gut or elsewhere, it’s going to actually hurt for a little bit.

Eric: Oh, Jesus. I’d like to state a disclaimer here. The Alohomora! hosts do not support violence.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: We do not encourage or otherwise endorse any physical violence.

Laura: Unless directed toward Malfoy.

Nicole: [laughs] Yeah.

Eric: Unless directed toward the fictional character Draco Malfoy.

Laura: Yes. [laughs]

Rosie: Unfortunately, though, this particular bit of violence ends up with Umbridge banning Harry, Fred, and George from Quidditch for life.

Eric: I love that. I just love it. [laughs]

Rosie: For life.

Nicole: She can’t do that.

[Laura laughs]

Eric: It’s so over the top.

Rosie: How does that even work?

[Laura laughs]

Eric: They’re banned for life.

Rosie: How are you going to enforce that rule? [laughs]

Laura: Maybe a school career ban, that would make more sense…

Rosie: Mhm.

Laura: But, she’s banning them for life, never will touch a broom ever, and I feel like she does not have the power to do that the second they graduate.

Eric: I don’t know. I think because the Quidditch… in order to get in Quidditch, surely, there’s legal things to becoming players. You would just be banned from playing being a professional.

Rosie: Well, yeah. He wouldn’t be able to be a professional Quidditch player.

Eric: Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he could still ride a broom.

Rosie: Hopefully.

Laura: But wait. Are you saying he would not be able to be a professional Quidditch player? Because I still feel like, if I was kicked off of my high school softball team, that doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to pursue it ever again for the entire course of my lifetime.

Rosie: Yeah. But the difference is she’s a Ministry official who is banning him for life, so that ban is going to go to Ministry level rather than school level.

Eric and Laura: Yeah.

Laura: I guess.

Eric: Right.

Nicole: And Fudge already doesn’t like him, so he’d probably be okay with passing another decree over Quidditch.

Eric and Rosie: Yeah.

[Rosie laughs]

Laura: That’s the worst thing about this whole decree thing. Obviously, if it doesn’t exist, well, okay, it exists now.

Rosie: Yeah.

Eric: Mhm. Yup.

Laura: There’s no escaping. There’s no loopholes.

Rosie: Yeah. It’s the idea that politics can be changed. Laws can be changed. I think that’s a quote from the movie itself. It’s probably in the book as well, that laws can be changed. I don’t know. But that idea that the law adapts itself to fit the crime rather than the crime being set by the law originally.

Eric: Yeah.

Rosie: That kind of thing is always very worrying.

Eric: Yeah. Mhm.

Rosie: But we see that Umbridge is going to enforce this rule during their time at Hogwarts by actually taking their brooms and having them locked up in her office. And that, to me, speaks out as trophy.

Eric: Oh.

Rosie: That is such a… it’s Voldemort and his Horcruxes. It’s something that… she has got Harry’s Firebolt to prove that she has this power over him. She’s taking away Quidditch. She’s taking away one of his greatest skills, and basically grounding him in the most literal use of that term ever. [laughs]

Eric: Mhm. Wow. Nice, nice work.

Laura: Also, we didn’t mention the fact that Fred is banned when he didn’t do anything. I know he would have done something, but could you imagine if you hadn’t truly done anything and this drastic ban was enforced on you?

Rosie: Mhm.

Laura: I’m surprised Ron didn’t get anything. Probably because she wants Ron to continue failing at Quidditch.

Eric: Continue suffering. Yes.

Rosie: Ron was nowhere near the event. He had already walked off the pitch.

Eric: He goes for a walk.

Laura: Still.

Rosie: Yeah.

Eric: But yeah. I think you’re right. Of course, the question is how do you enforce a Quidditch life ban against an identical twin? [laughs] You have to ban both.

[Everyone laughs]

Eric: Otherwise, they’d go as each other.

[Laura, Nicole, and Rosie laugh]

Eric: It’s just a good thing they have plans that don’t involve Quidditch for the rest of their lives, so it’s nice.

Laura: And also, they manage to get their brooms back totally fine, so…

Eric: Exactly, exactly. There’s that.

Nicole: Yeah.

Laura: With a simple Summoning Charm.

Rosie: I did want to ask, though, what taking Quidditch from Harry actually achieves in terms of Umbridge and the Ministry. Obviously, I’ve just said the idea of the trophy and the idea of grounding him, but is there actually a more political purpose in taking this privilege away from him, or is it just the power going to Umbridge’s head and her wanting to make his life miserable?

Eric: Good question. Because she involved Fudge for this particular banning.

Rosie: Mhm.

Eric: I think it is what you’re saying, Rosie, about grounding Harry. I mean, the Firebolt is, I think, still the best broom out there.

Rosie: Mhm. As far as we know.

Eric: So getting rid of Harry’s broom is like keeping him trapped at Hogwarts. It’s turning Hogwarts into more of a prison because up until that moment, he could always fly away, presumably.

Rosie: True. Maybe this also has something to do with how he escaped from the Dursleys because he used brooms then, didn’t he? So it would keep him trapped and not able to move around as freely, yeah.

Eric: Yeah, so I think that’s kind of what she was looking for any reason to do. And it’s just the outpouring of fun, and she is all against Harry having fun.

Laura: She’s also taking him out of the spotlight. A knock. You’re never going to take Harry Potter out of the spotlight. But you do what you can if you’re Umbridge, I suppose, and…

Eric: Nobody puts Harry in a corner.

[Laura and Rosie laugh]

Nicole: But is she trying to take him out of the spotlight so much as shine a really bad light on him because wouldn’t they report this? Don’t they report just about everything about his life?

Rosie: Yeah. True.

Nicole: So wouldn’t they report this? His angry brawl in the Daily Prophet.

Laura: But now he doesn’t… Harry is the hero of Gryffindor for all the stuff that he does that matters and then for Quidditch. [laughs] So he’s their Seeker, he’s never lost, or whatever. And by taking that away from Gryffindor and just taking that away from Harry, the Gryffindors are going to be mad at Harry. Because…

Nicole: Yeah.

Laura: … in the same way that Angelina is… they understand Malfoy was provoking him, but exactly what McGonagall said, clearly he was trying to provoke you, get over it.

Rosie: Yeah.

[Nicole laughs]

Laura: The Gryffindors are going to be mad that they’ve lost the Weasley twins and Harry.

Rosie: It then becomes even more sad when Ron finally turns up, this is hours after the match when they’re kind of discussing what’s going on. They’ve had dinner, they’re in the Gryffindor common room and Ron finally turns up after taking a very long walk. He’s still in his Quidditch gear and he says that he’s going to quit the team and Harry kind of remarks angrily that if he quits, then there’s only going to be three members left. And he goes, “What, what happened?” and Harry tells him… or no, Hermione tells him because Harry can’t bring himself to. And Ron blames himself and says it’s all his fault, if he hadn’t played so badly then the song wouldn’t have happened and Harry wouldn’t have been able to be provoked by Malfoy. And isn’t that just so sad, it was Harry and the twins that did actually react this way but it’s Ron who says, “This is my fault.” Poor Ron. This is a horrible chapter for Ron. [laughs]

Eric: He can always play better, but I know it’s tough when you’re… I think he… everybody thinks he could always play better. But it’s true, he has had a long walk, he didn’t even go for a swim or something. That’s what I would do.

[Rosie and Nicole laugh]

Eric: I would throw off all the Quidditch gear and just swim until I can’t swim any further and hopefully not drown getting back to the lake. But no, he just kept his gear – where’d he go? Where does Ron go when he’s off on his own? Where does… nobody knows. [laughs} It’s, like, where did he…

Rosie: We never see him without Harry, so it’s…

Laura: I always pictured, you know all those scenes in the movie that are the filler scenes, where Harry just stares off into the scenery with Hedwig…

Rosie: Yeah.

Laura: … while the music slows…

Rosie: Walks through the snow…

Laura: I just picture Ron doing that, himself like all those times where Ron just chooses to sit…

Rosie: Mhm.

Laura: … and ponder the scenery.

Eric: Yeah.

Rosie: We know that the one place he wouldn’t go is the Forbidden Forest, though.

[Laura and Nicole laugh]

Rosie: No spiders.

Eric: True.

[Rosie laughs]

Nicole: True.

Eric: He doesn’t even have Scabbers to pet anymore. He’s feeling bad.

Laura: Aww.

[Nicole laughs]

Rosie: That’s true. This is actually really sad for Ron. He has no pet, he has no… yeah, it’s just…

Nicole: Aww.

Eric: [laughs] It’s like, Harry has Hedwig, he can just go… and Hermione has Crookshanks. Ron… what does Ron have?

Rosie: Yes, he’s so lonely. Does he have Pigwidgeon?

Nicole: Yeah, doesn’t he have…

Eric: Oh, yeah.

Nicole: Yeah.

Laura: Oh, wait, no he doesn’t.

Nicole: Yeah, he does.

Rosie: Wasn’t…

Nicole: Doesn’t he get it in the…

Laura: Does he?

Nicole: … in the…

Laura: All right, yes, he does. Yes…

Nicole: Yeah. [laughs]

Eric: He has it in Book 3, I thought.

Rosie: Yeah, probably does. Okay.

Laura: Yeah.

Eric: Mhm.

Rosie: Okay. But he doesn’t like the owl, anyways. [laughs]

Eric: No, he doesn’t. He really doesn’t like the owl.

[Rosie laughs]

Nicole: It’s funny because he gets everything that he’s ever wanted, pretty much. And he’s completely miserable…

Rosie: Yeah.

Nicole: … in this book.

Eric: That is interesting.

Nicole: Because he’s also prefect and he’s…

Rosie: Mhm.

Eric: Yup.

Rosie: And Hermione kissed him this chapter and everything.

Nicole: Yup.

[Eric and Nicole laugh]

Rosie: At least Hagrid, though, is back. More on that next week.

Laura: Cliffhanger. Because this chapter was very Weasley-centered, and it is fitting, for me at least, for this Podcast Question of the Week to be about the Weasley twins. Fred and George have been trying to deny Ron as his brother for four years. Jokingly, this is in the beginning of the chapter where they say this. But you know, now that he’s on the Quidditch team, after that accidental save that he made, now they maybe will start considering him being related. This is clearly a joke, but really at this point, what does Ron need to do to have them respect him a bit more. He’s already helped save the Sorcerer’s Stone, he’s already entered the Chamber of Secrets when he was twelve to save their sister, he’s already had the whole business with Pettigrew, and everything’s just been continually… a lot. Pretty much more than the Weasley twins have ever done. And yet…

Nicole: Mhm.

Laura: … he’s still their little brother who’s still someone they don’t really respect and they see as kind of a joke, and while they do love him, they make his life hell. So, what does Ron have to do to gain the twins’ respect and do you guys think he ever really does while both are still alive? Sad face.

Eric: Aww.

Rosie: And of course, as usual, to answer that question, just go to our website, and click on our Podcast Question of the Week, which will be up there once this episode is released. All that remains to be done is to thank our guest this week. Nicole, I hope you’ve had a really good time on the show.

Nicole: I have. Thank you for having me.

Rosie: Thanks for being on.

Eric: And if you listener would like to be on our show you can find out all the things that you need to do to do that. Just head over to our website, which is and click the “Be on the Show” tab at the top. If you do have Apple headphones, they work, otherwise you do need a set of headphones, microphone, it’s all on the website.

Rosie: And of course you can contact us in other ways just like everyone else has on the show earlier to get your comments read out. We are on Twitter at @AlohomoraMN, we are on Facebook at, we’re on Tumblr at, we are on Skype 206-GO-ALBUS or 206-462-5287. You can subscribe and leave us a review on iTunes and you can follow us on Snapchat at MN_Alohomora. And also don’t forget that we have Audioboo where you can leave us a message directly on our homepage,, and it could be played on the show. It’s absolutely free, and all you need is a microphone but we do ask that you keep it under sixty seconds please so that it can fit into the show nicely.

Eric: We do have new items over at the Alohomora! store. Thank you everyone for your feedback on what you want to see. Go check the stuff out! Yeah, do it. Go over to and click on “Store.”

Rosie: We also have ringtones that are free and available on the website. And we have our app, which is available worldwide. Prices vary but it has transcripts, bloopers, alternate endings, host vlogs, and much, much more.

Laura: So I have a bit of a sad announcement to end this show on. This is my last episode of Alohomora!… and I was going to have LeakyCon – the live LeakyCon show – be my last show but it felt… I felt like I couldn’t go without saying goodbye to all of you wonderful fans. You guys have really made the show absolutely worthwhile for me. I’m getting emotional…

[Laura and Rosie laugh]

Laura: … but…

Eric: You’re emotional? We’re emotional!

[Laura laughs]

Eric: We don’t want to see you go.

Laura: I have to leave for various personal reasons, but it was a very difficult decision because I absolutely love doing this so much and I love all of the fans, and… all the jillion comments you guys send us, how enthusiastic you are towards doing this… it’s something that, when we decided to start this show, I could have never expected this to take off like it did. And for how much you guys have cared about it and meeting you guys at all the cons and everything in person has been absolutely incredible and also I just wanted to thank all of my co-hosts that – obviously Eric and Rosie, and for those that are not here: Kat, Caleb, Noah, and Michael. I didn’t forget anyone, right? No. This is like the Oscars. [laughs] But yeah… this is very, very sad for me, but thank you all for everything that you have done for the show; and thank you to my hosts for letting me join this and be a part of it right from the beginning, so… thank you.

Eric: Thank…

Rosie: Thank you too, Laura. It’s been a fantastic few years, and we hope that you will all join us in this thanking Laura for her time here. So make sure you go over to her twitter and send her lots of love.

Laura: Yeah. And speaking of… yeah, my Twitter is @reilly_laura and… yeah, I’ll still be there! [laughs] And I’ll still… I’ll be writing for my personal blog, which I’m re-doing. It’s called “The Great Wide Somewhere,” which is a Disney reference, haha.

Eric: Hey, look at that.

Laura: And then… anyway, no, forgot what I was saying. I’m rambling now. [laughs] Oh, I think I was just saying that I do hope that when you guys eventually get to Deathly Hallows – because it is my favorite book – when you guys get to those battle chapters I hope to be on as a guest, but …

Eric: Oh, good because I hope to leave the show around that time too.

[Everyone laughs]

Laura: At the end.

Eric: I don’t care, but … no, only Book 7. But no jokingly – all joking aside – Laura, it’s been an absolute pleasure. Wherever you go, just remember: there you will be. We wish you the best.

Laura: Thank you. I love you all. [laughs] All right, on that sad note, I’m Laura Reilly, for the last time.

[Show music begins]

Eric: Tears flowing, I’m Eric Scull.

[Laura laughs]

Rosie: And I am Rosie Morris. Thank you for listening to Episode 97 of Alohomora!

Laura: Open the Dumbledore.

[Show music continues]

Eric: I expected like an [drammaticaly sobs] “Open the Dumbledore.”

[Laura and Rosie laugh]

Laura: No, I saw that it was my part in the doc and then I actually got a little teary. I was like, “Aww!”

[Tribute to Laura plays]

[Audio]: “Goodbye, Laura. Goodbye. We hope to see you again someday. But now goodbye, Laura. Thank you for all that you’ve done. You will be missed by all. Goodbye!”