Transcript – Episode 65
[Show music begins]
Michael Harle: This is Episode 65 of Alohomora! for January 11, 2014.
[Show music continues]
Michael: Welcome to the show. Welcome to our Hogsmeade trip on this episode. Let us introduce ourselves. I’m Michael Harle.
Laura Reilly: I’m Laura Reilly.
Kat Miller: And I’m Kat Miller. And this week, our guest is somebody that you know. You love her… maybe love her. We love her.
[Everyone laughs]
Kat: She has been on the show before. She is a moderator on our forums. She is a staff member on MuggleNet. She is Ali Wood! Yay!
Alison Siggard: Yay!
Michael: Yay!
Alison: Hi, guys!
Kat: Welcome. Welcome back, Ali.
Alison: I’m excited to be back.
Kat: So how is everybody’s New Year? Going well?
Alison: Oh, it’s busy, but it’s good.
Laura: We in the North, Kat, are enjoying this nice polar vortex… or I guess it ended right now, but it’s way too cold for comfort for me.
Kat: Yeah, it hit -32 at my house.
Alison: Oh my gosh! [censored]
Laura: Yeah.
[Alison laughs]
Laura: I have not left my fireplace.
Kat: In other news, the aurora borealis can be seen from the East Coast today, tonight…
Alison: That’s so cool.
Michael: That’s so cool.
Kat: … which is really exciting. So I’m going to go outside at 3 in the morning – not – and see it.
[Everyone laughs]
Kat: I’m going to try, but it’s probably not going to happen.
Laura: That’s on my bucket list to see that. I thought when I went to the Minnesota winter survival exposition it would be a given since I was in the middle of absolute nowhere, but never once, so…
Kat: That’s sad.
Laura: Yeah.
Alison: In other news, it’s in the high 60s in California right now, according to my parents.
Kat: Boo! Boo, California!
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Kat: Whatever, I’m heading to Florida in a couple of weeks. I can’t complain.
Laura: All right. Well, just as a reminder to you guys, we’re going to talk about Chapter 27, “Padfoot Returns,” this week, so in order for you to fully appreciate the chapter make sure you have read it beforehand.
Kat: That was good. I’m going to fully appreciate that chapter.
Laura: Yeah.
[Michael laughs]
Kat: I’m not making fun of you. That was actually really cute.
[Everyone laughs]
Kat: But of course as always before we hop into our chapter for this week, we are going to recap our discussion from last week, Chapter 26, which was “The Second Task.”
Laura: I wasn’t on last week, so I’m just going to say my one comment on the Second Task, which is that it’s the worst task ever for the viewers. [laughs] It’s the most boring experience that I can possibly imagine…
Michael: I still wonder how… what’s the enjoyment?
Alison: What do they do?
Laura That’s the best that they could come up with? I’m sure this was discussed, but that’s… I haven’t had a chance to listen to the episode, so that’s my two cents.
[Michael laughs]
Kat: They get to see the waves in the water – YOLO!
[Alison laughs]
Michael: Bubbles come up, somebody’s dead.
Alison: Oh, gosh!
Kat: Exactly.
[Everyone laughs]
Kat Bubbles! Bubbles! No, I’m just kidding.
[Everyone laughs]
Alison: Huge discussion on the forums about what they could be possibly be doing during that lately, so just a shout-out for that.
Michael: Yeah.
Kat: Yeah, join the convo on the forums! But actually our first comment… well, I guess all the comments come from the Second Task, don’t they? Because that was the chapter. Anyway, so the first one comes from the main site from our frequent commenter, Elvis Gaunt, and it is about Mermish. He… I assume it’s a he, right? Says…
Michael: Not necessarily. Elvis Gaunt is a reference to the fact that that’s Tom’s middle name in French.
Kat: Right, I knew that.
Laura: I didn’t know that.
Kat: Well, let us know. Are you male or female? Let us know.
Michael: Yes.
Kat: Anyway, so the comment says,
“I have a doubt about Mermish. It is just English below water. So they understand English. Why do you have to screech to them then?”
Wait, this comment made more sense when I read it the other day.
Michael: No, it totally makes sense. Keep going. You’re doing fine.
Alison: It makes sense.
Michael: Keep going.
Kat: Okay.
“Why do you have to screech to them then? Or are their ears attuned to only screeching above water and cannot comprehend human speech. What about foreign mermaids? If they speak French below water, do they have the same screeches above water as the English mermaids?”
[Michael laughs]
Alison: Okay, can I just say the first thing I thought of when I read this was how the TARDIS in Doctor Who translates all the languages…
[Michael laughs]
Alison: … and everyone ends up speaking British English.
Kat: Amazing.
Alison: I am also wearing my TARDIS slippers, so maybe that’s why.
Michael: Very nice.
Alison: I don’t know.
Kat: I want those slippers!
Alison: They’re so cool! Anyway, I don’t know. Maybe it’s the water that helps… sound moving through water is different than sound moving through the air?
Laura: I kind of have a different perception of this, which is that Mermish is Mermish regardless of where they are. I think it’s the humans that are able to perceive it differently when they are underwater.
Kat: Oh!
Alison: That would make sense.
Laura: Yeah, because then I think that solves the whole issue of the international languages and whatnot and people saying they can speak Mermish. I think people can speak Mermish when they are above water, but the language… they are able to speak… I don’t know. I’m kind of confusing myself. And I don’t feel this strongly – it’s just a thought.
Kat: No, I know what you are saying, like Mermish above water is the same anywhere because it’s Mermish and it’s a language. It’s like French – if you hear it wherever, it’s the same. But underwater… yeah, that’s really…
Laura: I think it’s human perception that might change.
Michael: Well, and I think the other thing that we forget because of the movie that in the book, Harry can’t actually speak to them because he tries to and all that happens is bubbles come out of his mouth. And in the movie, he actually talks to them.
[Kat imitates talking underwater; Alison and Michael laugh]
Laura: Yeah, I think the bubbles come out because he is being a fish, but my thought was more when they submerged the egg underwater. You can hear it’s not screeching anymore; you can hear the rhyme.
Michael: Mhm.
Laura: So…
Alison: Yeah, I wonder… sorry, go ahead.
Laura: No, that’s my thoughts completed. I’m rambling. Continue.
[Laura and Michael laugh]
Alison: Oh, I was just going to say maybe it has something… some magical way to do with how water… how water moves through sound? [laughs] How sound moves through water.
[Michael laughs]
Kat: That’s what I was just thinking. The wavelengths or something.
Alison: Yeah. I mean, I’m not really a science expert, but I feel like it could be different.
Michael: I’m wondering too if it has something to do with how… Rowling has kind of clarified a lot more on Pottermore now, that a lot of these magical… these things like ghosts and werewolves and all this other stuff are exclusive to wizards. Like if a wizard gets bitten by a werewolf they’ll turn into a werewolf, whereas a Muggle will die. I’m wondering if a Muggle somehow encountered a mermaid underwater, like Laura is saying, maybe they wouldn’t be able to understand anything that the mermaid is saying.
Kat: Don’t mermaids eat Muggles?
Alison: What?
Michael: Well…
Kat: I don’t know. Don’t some mermaids eat people?
Michael: Kind of like sirens, you mean?
Alison: Oh, yeah.
Kat: Sure. I don’t know.
Laura: Yeah.
Michael: Because they attract attention.
Laura: I have grand issues with how mermaids are perceived in most everything, of them being evil creatures, just because The Little Mermaid was like my favorite movie growing up…
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Laura: … that I still hold that mermaids are wonderful creatures. [laughs] I would love to be a mermaid, despite my fear of fish. But yeah, no, I really hated the mermaids in Goblet of Fire.
[Michael laughs]
Kat: I hated the entire movie, but that’s a whole other episode.
Laura: Not going to get into that.
Alison: Except for David Tennant. We’ll get to that later.
Kat: Obviously. I mean hello, Ten. Anyway…
Alison: Please. [laughs]
Kat: So our next comment here comes from Honeydukes Empire on the forums and is about Harry competing in the tournament. It says,
“What would have happened if Harry truly hadn’t figured out how to breathe underwater? Surely the judges wouldn’t have forced him to still do the task with the knowledge that he’d definitely drown to death? But the Goblet of Fire has created a magically binding contract, which forces him to compete!”
So what do we think? Honestly, I think he probably would have just stood in the water knee-deep for an hour and they would have disqualified him.
Laura: Yeah.
Alison: Yeah.
Michael: Well, I don’t know about the standing there for an hour, but I think he would have been disqualified. [laughs]
Laura: Just like how Fleur can withdraw from the competition.
Michael: Yeah. I think he had to be there at least because as far as I can tell, the magical binding at the very least requires them to show up at each task. Because there’s been discussion that during the Second Task, some of the listeners mentioned, what if Dobby hadn’t woken Harry up and he had missed the task entirely?
Kat: Right.
Michael: And some people even questioned if that was a matter of the magical binding contract, that somehow controlled Dobby waking Harry up like five minutes before he had to be there.
Kat: I mean, that makes sense to me that the contract is actually about showing up and trying to compete and not exactly that you figure it all out and actually compete.
Michael: Mhm.
Kat: Just that you’re there and you’re present…
Michael: Yeah.
Kat: … is what I assume.
Laura: Yeah.
Michael: Well, I know too that we still never came to a consensus of what exactly happens if you defy the Goblet’s rules. Do you… because I know I’m still along the lines that it has something to do with the Unbreakable Vow, that there’s this spell that’s kind of controlling fate in a way that’s pushing everybody to be a part of the tournament whether they want to or not.
Laura: I’m kind of still in the camp that it’s slightly… that I don’t necessarily think there really is a magically binding contract.
[Michael laughs]
Laura: That there’s just like… it’s one of those things where you say it’s true, it’s true.
Michael: Mhm.
Laura: But…
Kat: I mean, but Dumbledore believes it.
Michael: Well, yeah, but even Dumbledore has admitted that he’s been fooled by magic before. It kind of goes back to… ties into the Tales of Beedle the Bard story of “The Fountain of Fair Fortune” where everybody is…
Laura: Yeah, that’s exactly… because I think we’ve talked about this before. I remember you bringing up that example. I think that’s pretty much…
Michael: Yeah.
Kat: So our last comment here comes from Jake Pontzer on the main site and it’s about the Gillyweed mutation evolution discussion that we had last week, and he says,
“One thing the guest host mentioned was an idea that Gillyweed sort of reverses evolution to a state of humanity when we had gills, when we came out of the water. In the world of these books, magic exists in very few people: witches and wizards. My question is, how long ago did the ‘magical-mutation’ take its form? And if it is such a beneficial mutation to be magical, why don’t more people have it today?”
Laura: So can I just clarify something? Are we saying that an actual… our humanity, people have this theory? Or is this a theory within the Potter books?
Kat: This is something that we talked about… wait, was I on last week? No.
[Everyone laughs]
Kat: Something the hosts last week talked about. They talked about if the Gillyweed brings out a recessive gene or trait that we used to have. Like we used to have gills and we used to have flippers and all of that stuff.
Laura: I doubt that.
Kat: So they were saying the Gillyweed brings that out and makes it present again, and that’s why it works.
Michael: I do think this question is in context of the book, though. Well, I guess we’re saying on the assumption, of course, that the wizarding world does exist, where does magic come in genetically? Where was it? Where did it begin? And why did we develop a magical gene? Why did some people have a magical gene, I think is what’s being asked.
Laura: I mean, I just so don’t agree with the idea that this is bringing out a gene or something. I think it’s honestly just… I think it’s purely transfiguration.
Michael: Hmm.
Kat: Really?
Laura: Yeah. I mean, I don’t… I think in the same way that Krum transforms into a shark poorly, it’s… Harry’s transforming into… not a full fish but some characteristics of it. I think it’s… when you’re transforming the rat into the goblet but the goblet still has a tail or whatever, it’s not a full transfiguration but it still has the qualities of both. So he’s human but with fish-like qualities. I think it’s just some degree of transfiguration that it brings out rather than bringing out evolution wise or something.
Kat: But that would mean then that the spell lives in the Gillyweed.
Michael: Yeah, that’s what I was thinking because I think the question about whether it is actually bringing out old genetics is because the Gillyweed is a natural plant.
Kat: Right, and I think that that’s just brilliant. When they talked about that last week, I was like, “Whoa, mind blown.” But I don’t know. Do you have thoughts on it, Michael?
Michael: Are there other natural things in the wizarding world that have caused this? That have caused that kind of thing?
Kat: They brought something… they mentioned something last week, and of course now I can’t remember what it is.
Michael: Mhm. I’m just trying to… because I mean… and Polyjuice Potion I wouldn’t count because that’s a combination of ingredients. You can’t just eat one of the ingredients and transform. I mean, until there’s official confirmation on that, I’m hesitant to take a side. I think it’s a really good theory, though.
Kat: It’s a great topic. I mean, I could talk about that for hours.
Michael: [laughs] But, of course, we don’t have that much time, so…
Kat: Aww, dang.
Michael: [laughs] Unfortunately. But actually, those great responses from last week’s discussion lead right into our Podcast Question of the Week, which we will go into. This one was asked by Eric, and he said he had been waiting to ask this one forever, and we got quite a few answers to this one.
Kat: Oh my God, so many answers.
Michael: And it’s a very good question. Eric asked,
“In this chapter, Harry competes in the Second Task to rescue a loved one from the underwater clutches of the Merpeople. Although the Triwizard Tournament is known for its brutality, Ron afterwards makes Harry feel stupid for trying to rescue the others and bring Gabrielle to the surface. How much danger were the hostages – Ron, Hermione, Cho, and Gabrielle – really in? Would Dumbledore have let them drown? Real danger was certainly implied, and it drives Harry in this chapter towards finishing last, but are the points that the judges award Harry just sympathy points because he bought into their lies? Were the loved ones protected even from the champions’ own magic?”
And this was brought up not only because the champions’ loved ones were placed underwater for an hour in an enchanted sleep, but also the hosts mentioned quite a few times how Viktor Krum almost bit Hermione in half.
Kat: Right.
Michael: [laughs] So the general consensus did seem to actually be that the champions’ loved ones were not in danger and that the champions themselves were not. The first response that I picked from that was Olivia Underwood’s, which said,
“The students were probably never in any real danger. In a rather crude sense, it doesn’t really matter whether they were or not. If the champions believe it’s real, then it’s real. Real enough for the audience (including readers) and the judges to test the champions in extreme conditions. What Ron, and Harry himself, fail to understand is that what the judges unexpectedly found in Harry was not just bravery or competitiveness, but also a sense of self-sacrifice, not just to give up coming first in a silly competition, but more importantly, to lose his life. They saw how far he would go to put others first in life-threatening situations, which, to me, shows a certain amount of honesty and nobility, which the others lack (none of them thought twice about Gabrielle). I think this is what allowed him to save Gabrielle and also why he got second place. He took a step further and went beyond the boundaries of the competition and its ‘rules.’ Pretty impressive, for a fourteen-year-old!”
Kat: So there are a couple of things that I want to touch on. Not just in this comment, but in this question in general.
Michael: Mhm.
Kat: So reading through Olivia’s comment here, does this not remind you of the sacrifice he makes in Deathly Hallows?
Michael: Oh yeah, it almost reminds me of any sacrifice Harry makes in extreme situations. He always puts everybody before him and makes sure that their safety is of the utmost importance, really.
Kat: Yeah, and as much as he is a prat some of the times, he definitely… he does think about other people, and I think that comes from his upbringing and never being thought about as a child.
Michael: Mhm.
Kat: Really.
Michael: Oh yeah, definitely. And I think that’s why I feel so bad for Harry in this chapter, and why I do think… I’m so glad he does get the points he gets and that he is accoladed as much as he is because the thing that I think is so funny is that everyone was poking fun at Harry for staying down longer in the water when Fleur is over to the side freaking out that her sister might be dead.
Kat: Right. Exactly, right. It’s not like he’s the only one who believed it.
Michael: Yeah.
Laura: But I agree with… yeah, Harry, great. Good job. A plus. But at the same time, I think we’re being a little harsh on Cedric and Krum in that if they truly believe that something bad is going to happen to these people, and they’ve already… it’s not just getting the Merpeople – there [were] the Grindylows and all that. There’s so much ahead that if they truly do care about these people more than anything else in their life, which is stupid in Krum and Cedric’s case…
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Laura: … but side point.
Kat: Yeah, that was the other thing I wanted to touch on.
Alison: Yeah.
Michael: Yes, a lot of people brought that up in the forums too.
Laura: It’s… yeah. They wanted to make sure that they got safe, and yes, of course it’s something to look back and be like, “Oh, are these people going to be okay?” But at the same time, they can’t be waiting until the last second and worrying to see if Fleur shows up because then, hypothetically, these two people that they’re saving could die. So I think that it’s not that they’re more concerned about winning. I think they’re more concerned about getting these – the people they need to safety.
Michael: Well…
Alison: Well…
Michael: Oh, go ahead, Ali.
Alison: Sorry. Oh, I was going to say, I think part of it too could have been just Harry’s experiences over the past three years. Everything like this that he’s experienced has had the potential to end in death and…
Michael: Mhm.
Alison: … terrible things for his friends, but I think Krum has had more of a life where things become games and even if they’re high stakes games, I mean, he’s a Quidditch player for a living. And so, I think he still sees it as a game and Cedric, being a Hufflepuff – and being a Hufflepuff myself, I feel like I can say this – you tend to want to see the best outcome in things. So I think he just tries not to think about the possibility that this could end tragically, but Harry has had so much experience with things ending tragically that he just has to think that way and that’s just how he’s been tuned to, “There’s people I have to rescue. This could end badly.”
Kat: I think that’s a really fair analysis, actually.
Michael: Yeah.
Kat: I think that makes total and complete sense to me.
Michael: Well, and I think that Cedric shows that, too. He thinks… he at least takes comfort that Harry’s still there because Harry communicates to him that, “Yeah, I’m going to go ahead and stay and wait for everybody,” and Cedric seems to take comfort in that because he taps his watch to get Harry to move and Harry’s like, “No, no. I’ll stay.” And so, Cedric leaves comfortable with that.
Kat: Yeah, I think they have this weird trust between each other…
Michael: Yeah.
Alison: Yeah.
Kat: … because of the tips they’ve given each other, which I think is cute. I don’t know. I think it’s cute.
Michael: Yeah.
Kat: What’s not cute is the fact that, like Laura brought up, that Hermione is the one thing Krum’s going to miss the most.
Alison: Oh my gosh! [laughs]
Kat: Come on! I mean, I get it that she’s there and he probably doesn’t have any family around and blah, blah, blah, but come on! Really? Put a broomstick there instead.
Laura: Yeah.
[Michael laughs]
Alison: Well…
Kat: He would care more about that.
Alison: Now that I’m thinking about it, how many friends do we think Krum has that go to Durmstrang that came with him?
Kat: Very few.
[Michael laughs]
Alison: Because if you think about it – personally, just my interpretation of him – I feel like he would be more keep to himself just because he’s a Quidditch player and I think if I was in his shoes, I’d be afraid. Okay, who’s actually trying to be my friend and who just wants to say, “Oh, yeah! Viktor Krum is my friend! Famous Quidditch player!” So…
Kat: Aww, that makes me so sad for Krum!
[Michael laughs]
Alison: So maybe… which is part of the reason why he might like Hermione in the first place because she actually doesn’t…
Kat: Like him.
Alison: … like him at first. And then…
Kat: Right.
Alison: … comes to like him as a person more.
Michael: Mhm. Well and as we’ll see when we get in to our chapter discussion for this week, Krum does think very highly of Hermione.
Alison: Yes.
Michael: But before we get on to that, I also… I did want to point out one, that in this comment by Olivia, there is also the point that Dumbledore gives… Dumbledore and the judges eventually give Harry the points because of his bravery and I was going to read this, but it would take up too much time. But I must direct our listeners to a poem from the Book of Spells – Wonderbook: Book of Spells. It’s written by Miranda Goshawk. It’s titled “The Miserable Ode of Quivering Quintus.” Make sure and go and read that. It is online. And it’s a poem all about how wizards value bravery and actually why bravery is one of the most… one of the cornerstone traits of a wizard and why bravery is not only valuable for being a good wizard, but also a good person.
Kat: Man, I’d be a crappy wizard.
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Kat: We’ll link that in the show notes for anybody who wants to read it.
Michael: Perfect! So maybe that’s what I’ll do for the app content, I’ll read the poem.
Kat: Perfect.
Michael: So the next comment we actually had though was from PixieDragon137, which was completely opposite view highlighting not necessarily the dangers that the judges anticipated.
“There certainly had been a possibility of some unforeseen danger, like the effect of Gillyweed fading, which was actually happening as Harry got closer to the surface. And as Harry returned ‘well outside the time limit,’ it’s a bit odd that no one cared enough to send someone down there to make sure he hadn’t died or something. Also, as Harry believes, Krum could have seriously taken a bite off of Hermione if he hadn’t intervened. So even if the conditions of the task had been carefully controlled, it seems like the judges hadn’t taken into account the anomalies that could have been created by the champions themselves which in turn would put the hostages in danger. This, and the theory about Monkeyweed (which is pretty awesome), made me wonder if perhaps the wizards are less concerned about their safety than Muggles are. If so, is it because their wounds can be fixed by magic, which is quicker and more effective than treating muggle wounds? Or do they possess some sort of mutant genes which enable their bodies to heal much faster and more efficiently than Muggles?”
Kat: Yes, because wizards don’t give a crap.
[Alison laughs]
Laura: Yeah, I mean, we’ve talked about the idea of the lax attitude…
Alison: Yeah.
Laura: … towards injury and stuff, but this is what I was going to say before, which was just that it says – confirms, even – in this chapter that… in the next chapter that we’re going to read that they were definitely not in any intentional danger. I know Eric asked, would Dumbledore have let them drown?
[Michael laughs]
Laura: No, but I agree with this that there’s definitely issues that the champions would bring about themselves that is not so controlled.
Kat: Yeah, like Hermione and her legs.
Laura: I think…
Kat: Chomp, chomp, chomp! He could chop them off!
[Alison laughs]
Laura: Right.
Michael: The interesting thing about that with Krum… and this is something I guess we can debate as far as how canonical this is, but in Dumbledore’s notes in Tales of Beedle the Bard in the story “Babbity Rabbity and her Cackling Stump,” he notes the difference between… the fundamental difference between being an Animagus and transfiguring oneself into an animal. In the case of the latter, one would become the animal entirely with the consequence that one would know no magic, be unaware that one had ever been a wizard, and would need somebody else to transfigure one back to one’s original form. So basically what he’s saying is that since Krum performed a self transfiguration on himself and maybe this is part of why it was half a transfiguration, but if Krum had become a full shark, he may have actually bit Hermione in half. [laughs]
Kat: And eaten her! Legitimately eaten her!
Michael: Yes!
Alison: Oh, gosh!
Kat: Wow! Wow, that’s actually… that’s important information.
Michael: Yeah, and it’s just hiding away in Tales of Beedle the Bard, but it… and it does somewhat contradict things, I think, that we’ve seen before with animal transfiguration in the book, especially here.
Kat: Right, but this is human, right?
Michael: Well, it’s talking animal to human and human to animal and vice versa, but what this is saying is if a human transfigures himself into something like a shark, they’re going to forget that they were ever human and they’ll need somebody else to transfigure them back.
Kat: Oh my God, that’s ridiculous.
Michael: Yeah. So that creates a big problem here and considering that Krum’s head is a shark, I’m assuming his brain turned into the brain of a shark.
Kat: Then I’m surprised that he didn’t… then how did that work!?
[Michael laughs]
Alison: Maybe… well, it wasn’t complete. So maybe it was just his face turned in to a shark?
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Alison: And nothing else?
Laura: Yeah, maybe it was just surface level, not the internal because we’ve talked about this even with the Animagus, what internally changes.
Michael: Mhm.
Laura: But yeah, I think it might have been surface level transfiguration in the same way that I was saying before, Gillyweed might be a partial thing of…
Michael: Mhm.
Laura: It gave him the ability to breath underwater, essentially…
Alison: Yeah.
Laura: … and have sharp teeth and all those superficial qualities.
Kat and Michael: Mhm.
Laura: But I mean, I do think it’s a possibility that, yes, he could have bitten [her].
Michael: [laughs] Well, and Krum seems at least aware enough to interact with Harry because Harry gives him a sharp rock to cut Hermione out of the ropes.
Kat: I think this is probably a boo-boo.
Michael I’m wondering.
Kat: Come on, Pottermore! Give us more information.
Alison: I was going to say, it’s probably going to be on Pottermore! [laughs]
Michael: So our final comment comes from Rose Lumos on the forums – on the main site – and Rose said,
“What if someone has an emergency in the middle of the lake? What if Cedric’s bubble head popped? What is Fleur could not escape the Grindylows and they drowned her? What if Viktor’s incomplete transfiguration caused him to have a major problem? We know that Harry just makes it to the surface before the Gillyweed wears off, but since he never found out how long it lasts (which is a pretty important detail he probably should have asked about before eating it) what if he simply drowned on the bottom of the lake?”
Kat: I mean, that’s true, but isn’t that why the mermaids are there?
Michael: Do you think the mermaids are the ones who are monitoring for help?
Kat: Yeah, I do.
Alison: Yeah, it wouldn’t surprise me.
Laura: Yeah, because you see the Chief mermaid talk to Dumbledore, which is also, I think, if Gabrielle… let’s say Harry didn’t save Gabrielle and he just went up. I honestly think the mermaid would have cut her free and brought her up to the surface.
Kat: Brought up her? Yeah, I agree.
Michael: Do you think that they’re the ones who got Fleur out of the water?
Kat: Yeah. Mostly likely. I mean, who else would it be?
Michael: Well, because there’s been some debate on the forums about whether she just quit and brought herself back, or if somebody went down to get her, or and… but I hadn’t heard that suggestion that the mermaids were actually the sentinels for the Second Task.
Kat: Well, if Fleur had gotten loose, then she probably would have continued with the Task, right?
Michael: That’s what I thought because she’s…
Laura: Yeah.
Kat: So I think that the mermaid – the mermaid, whoever it was – probably at some point was like, “All right…”
Michael: You’re out.
Kat: “You’re not going to be getting out of this. I can help you get out, but you’d have to forfeit,” type of deal.
Michael: Mhm.
Alison: And they’re such good friends with Dumbledore. I feel like, for Dumbledore’s sake, they would be okay with that.
Kat and Michael: Yeah.
Michael: There was a debate on the main site about the friendliness or the maliciousness of the Merpeople in the lake, but I think what you’re saying, Ali, is pretty spot on, that they’re friends with Dumbledore. And I think he… well, I don’t think they would have partnered with the Merpeople on this challenge had they thought that they were going to turncoat and just go crazy.
Alison: Yeah.
Michael: [laughs] So I also wanted to make sure and shout-out to the people on the main site who contributed, but I couldn’t include their comments on this episode: ArchdukeSeverus, Dolphin Patronus, Elvis Gaunt, Hallows Master 97, Hedwigs Pig, Honeydukes Empire, Leah Jamison, L.G., Lord Lordymort – which is a great name. [laughs]
Kat: That is a good name.
Michael: LunaGranger3, Raven, and finally, our friend Subjective Unicorn. Thank you all for going to the main site and leaving your thoughts on this fantastic Question of the Week. And make sure to keep doing that in future.
Kat: And guys, I want to say that I would like to be friends with Dumbledore, which… a.k.a. J.K. Rowling. So…
[Alison laughs]
Kat: … again, I will take the hit and I’ll do it. I mean, I already know that I’m going to go off and talk to David Tennant, but I will do this too. I know.
[Michael laughs]
Kat: It’s a burden I must bear.
Alison: It’s okay, Kat. I’ll tell them all about it when I’m in London and I find them all. I’ll tell them that you’re willing to talk to them.
[Michael laughs]
Kat: Okay. That’s cool. Thanks. I’m just going to call her and tell her, though.
[Alison laughs]
Kat: We’re BFFs. I never say that word, but I felt the need to say it there.
[Alison laughs]
Laura: I say that word all the time. All right, well, I think now we’re going to dive in – get it? No. We’re past the Second Task. It’s not funny anymore.
[Kat and Michael laugh]
Kat: I mean, it’s kind of funny when you say that it’s not funny. It’s funny again.
Laura: [laughs] All right, but we’re now going to talk about Chapter 27.
[Goblet of Fire Chapter 27 intro begins]
[Sounds of a typewriter]
Rita: Chapter 27, “Harry Potter’s Secret…” oh!
Hermione: I don’t think so. Chapter 27, “Padfoot Returns.” Hmm.
[Padfoot barks]
[Goblet of Fire Chapter 27 intro ends]
Laura: Okay, so now it’s the aftermath of the Second Task and the good thing is that Ron, for the first time pretty much ever, gets to share in this glory because… but it gets a little bit carried away as the days go by. First he tells the truth that Dumbledore put them all into a sleep, assured them that they’d be safe – which is what I said before – and that they would awake when they were back above water, but I don’t know if they did last week, but what the magic actually is that makes them breath underwater because Harry researched quite thoroughly about ways to breath underwater. I was wondering how the four hostages were able to.
Kat: See, I think they were looking… they clearly were looking in the wrong books because one, they didn’t come across Bubble-Head charm.
Michael: Mhm.
Alison: Yeah.
Laura: Yeah, that’s true.
Kat: They didn’t come across Gillyweed. So I think that they were trying to look for some incredibly huge amazing solution when it was something really super simple.
Alison: Yeah.
Kat: And this spell doesn’t seem simple, which is probably why Dumbledore was the one who did it.
Laura: Yeah.
Alison: My question though is were none of these hostages freaking out? Because I feel like I would have been freaking out when they’re just like, “Oh yeah, we’re going to put you to sleep and throw you into the lake.”
Kat: I probably would have said no, honestly.
Alison: Could they say no?
Laura: Yeah, I…
Alison: Did they give them that option?
Kat: Why not? I’m pretty sure they have to agree to it.
Michael: Well, that was discussed a lot on the forums and a lot of people pointed out that, unlike the champions, they have no magical binding contract that they’re under to do this.
Laura: But at the same time, the supposed magical binding contract is saying that it’s going to be the thing that they missed most within Hogwarts grounds, I suppose.
Michael: Why can’t they just take Harry’s Firebolt?
Kat: Right?
[Michael laughs]
Kat: Or Dobby.
Michael: [laughs] Oh, Dobby?
Alison: Oh no!
Laura: Well, I think Ron is legit. Gabrielle is legit. It’s the other two that’s stupid.
Alison: Maybe they were the only ones who would do it. Maybe…
Laura: Maybe.
Alison: Maybe other Cedric’s friends or Krum’s friends said no. Maybe they could say no.
Michael: Maybe, yeah.
Laura: Well, I just realized the funny situation of when they’re all in the room together, Ron and Hermione, and they said, “You are the things that the champions miss most.”
Kat: Ooh.
Laura: And the two of them waiting, “Oh yeah, Hermione. Harry doesn’t miss you the most.”
[Alison laughs]
Laura: He cares about Ron more. Also, by the way, Viktor Krum misses you the most. Sorry about that, Ron.
Alison: Ron’s face.
Kat: That’s true!
Alison: I can see Ron’s face. Oh, gosh! [laughs]
Laura: Oh, that’s a great moment. If only.
Kat: There needs to be a fan fiction about that one.
Michael: Yeah, I was going to say, somebody fanfic that.
Laura: I’m sure there is.
[Michael laughs]
Alison: Probably is.
Michael: We’ve said it and now it’s out there.
Kat: We make all these requests and nobody ever sends them in.
[Michael laughs]
Kat: So guess what? Okay. Here’s what I’m going to do. We have nine Alohomora! T-shirts leftover from LeakyCon. Somebody writes this for me. For us. I will send you a free shirt.
Michael: If it’s substantial, we’ll read it on AudioFictions.
Laura: As long as there’s only nine of you that do.
Kat: [laughs] Right.
[Everyone laughs]
Kat: I honestly cannot send out a hundred shirts because, hello, I don’t have that many.
[Michael laughs]
Kat: But okay. If we get more than one, we’ll pick the best one. That one will get a shirt.
Laura: Okay.
Kat: How’s that?
Michael: That sounds fun.
Laura: Close the loopholes. [laughs]
Kat: Anywhere in the world. We’ll ship it out.
Laura: All right. So Ron was telling the thrilling tale of kidnapping, which he struggled singlehandedly against 50 heavily armed Merpeople who would beat him into submission before tying him up.
Kat: Leave it to Ron.
Laura: So also that is to say Fleur and little Gabrielle and Hermione all did the same thing, if that were true. [laughs] But in no world would that even be possible that the Merpeople could come and knock on the common room door and kidnap him.
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Kat: But people are teasing Hermione about being the thing that Viktor Krum would miss most. But to me… I get they’re going to make fun of her for anything, but this is not particularly something fellow girls I think would be the first thing to make fun of because I think that’s something you would be jealous of, at least for them. So…
Kat: Yeah, more jealous than anything, I would say.
Laura: Yeah. So Sirius sends a very short reply for Harry to be at the stile at the end of the road in Hogsmeade that Saturday and to bring as much food as he can, which is really sad. But as we see later, they don’t really take that to heart. They bring one backpack full of food.
[Michael laughs]
Laura: There’s three of them. But anyway, so Harry is mad that Sirius is putting his life in jeopardy but is secretly pretty jazzed about the fact that he’s going to Sirius in person after all that’s happening. But before this all happens, they’re in Potions class and Pansy Parkinson tosses Hermione the latest copy of Witch Weekly. And inside is the article, “Harry Potter’s Secret Heartache,” which is really a great read.
Alison: Oh, gosh.
Laura: To summarize, Rita claims Hermione is Harry’s steady girlfriend at Hogwarts, calls Granger a plain but ambitious girl when – correct me if I’m wrong – she referred to her as stunningly pretty in a previous article? Yeah. Says she has a taste for famous wizards that Harry alone cannot satisfy.
[Michael laughs]
Laura: Reminder: She’s fourteen.
Alison: Oh my gosh.
[Everyone laughs]
Laura: They refer to Pansy as a pretty and vivacious girl, as she’s describing the article, and she’s quoted saying Hermione is ugly and that she’s using a Love Potion to seduce Potter and Krum. Second reminder…
[Michael laughs]
Laura: … this is being written about a fourteen-year-old girl. Ron says – and I love this – “She’s making you out to be some sort of scarlet woman,” which is what his mom calls them.
[Alison and Kat laugh]
Alison: Oh, goodness. [laughs]
Michael: I love when Ron uses terms that he’s not really necessarily familiar with. [laughs]
Kat: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Anything that Molly says and Ron repeats it?
Michael: He just repeats it.
Kat: Hilarious. I absolutely love it. Love it.
Laura: But my favorite part of this is that Hermione genuinely isn’t bothered and she’s just giggling. And I’m sure she secretly likes the attention and the public declaration that this famous wizard, Krum, feels this way about her, even if she doesn’t necessarily want that information out, regardless of how she feels for him, she’s getting public… I think that she’s got these famous wizards…
Kat: Really, you see that?
Alison: Yeah, I have to disagree.
Laura: No, I think the fact that she’s giggling and sarcastically smiles and waves at the Slytherins, and I think the fact how little respect she has for Rita, I wouldn’t go as far as to say that she enjoys it, but I think she totally doesn’t care and is getting a little bit of, “Yeah, I’m all that.”
Kat: I don’t think so. I think she’s crazy embarrassed and is hiding it really well.
Alison: Yup. And I think she just knows how ridiculous Rita is, and so she’s like, “Please. No one’s going to believe this at all.” Because she doesn’t believe it obviously.
Michael: Yeah, that’s what I always got from her. “I’m going to take the high road. This is ridiculous, Hello, Slytherins.”
Laura: No, I definitely agree. I just thought maybe a little secret part of her…
Kat: But… and this part, too, is where Hermione starts to put together how the heck is Rita figuring this out.
Alison: Yeah.
Laura: Right. Yeah, that’s… there’s an exact quote from Krum within the article that’s saying he’s never felt this way about anyone and for Hermione to visit in Bulgaria over the summer, which is once again, pretty serious for a fourteen-year-old.
Kat: But that’s just so cute. “I’ve never felt that way about another girl.” I don’t know. I just think that’s so cute. He’s older. We have to remember that he’s older.
Alison: Yeah.
Michael: Mhm.
Laura: Does that make it better?
[Michael laughs]
Kat: Well, he is older than her, yeah.
Michael: Legally he’s an adult in the wizarding world.
Kat: Right, it makes it better. If it was a fourteen-year-old that is like, “I’ve never felt this way about another girl,” what, like your mom?
[Michael laughs]
Kat: He may have legitimately had other girlfriends. He is older.
Laura: Yeah, yeah. This is our first clue that either Rita has got spies around or she’s actually around all the time, which we know is true, because she’s an Animagus, but…
Michael: Well, yes, and don’t panic, listeners, we knew that Rita was in Hermione’s hair in the last chapter. We missed it, but we knew it. [laughs] It’s okay.
Laura: But my favorite part is that Ron’s more concerned what Hermione’s answer was to whether or not she would visit him than any possible situation.
Alison: This whole chapter I can’t believe how many signs I missed that it was always Ron and Hermione.
Kat: You weren’t the only one, honey.
Alison: Oh, girl.
Laura: Gosh.
Michael: Really?
Kat: Millions of girls. I was… obviously, I read these when I was older, so I was more easily able to deduce who was going to end up with who.
Alison: Yeah.
Kat: I’m sure there were millions of people that didn’t pick it up either.
Michael: That’s so funny.
Laura: Yeah.
Michael: Well, and, Laura, what you were saying earlier about Hermione enjoying the article, I think she’s actually using it to poke at Ron and push his buttons because she just keeps going. It’s like she’s sticking a knife in Ron’s side with this. She’s just like, “He asked me to come over for the summer. And, oh, he says he loves me.” And Ron’s just like, “I’m going to crush these beetles until they’re grains of sand.”
[Everyone laughs]
Michael: I think it’s funny that Hermione just keeps needling him. It’s clear she knows what she’s doing because she’s blushing the whole time, and she puts it under the guise of, “Oh, I’m just sorting out the clues,” but, also, it’s like, “I’m testing you, Ron.”
Kat: Yeah.
Laura: Just going to slip some thinking out loud, totally not… that’s what I’m saying. It’s a little bit of testing.
Kat: I imagine what happened after the ball, she probably is clued in to a little bit that he might have secret feelings for her.
Laura: Yeah.
Kat: She’s a smart gal.
Michael: Can we say, too… I just have to say, nice touch on Rowling’s part, the thing that they are crushing, are scarab beetles. They’re crushing beetles while they’re talking about Rita Skeeter.
Laura: Ooh.
Kat: Yup. I know it’s pretty funny. She’s a genius! OGM.
Michael: That’s the OGM for the chapter, I’d say.
Alison: There we go.
Kat: That’s the OGM.
Alison: There [are] a couple of others like that.
Michael: Yeah, there are.
Alison: But it’s okay. There [are] multiple.
Laura: Yeah. We haven’t gotten to the info about the…
Alison: [laughs] Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Laura: … the Barty Crouch Jr. stuff, but…
Michael: Brace yourselves.
Laura: Anyway. But Snape sees the magazine and reads the article out loud to the class. So I just have to go back now and read the whole article over in Alan Rickman’s voice.
[Everyone laughs]
Laura: Feel that pain.
Kat: Raise your hand if you did that. You can’t see it, but I’m raising my hand.
Laura: Yeah.
[Everyone laughs]
Alison: That is what, though… I’ve never been on the Snape fanwagon, and it’s because of moments like this.
Laura: [laughs] Three of us on this podcast I know right now haven’t.
Alison: Never.
Laura: I don’t know where Michael stands, but…
Michael: Oh, God, no. No. No no no.
Alison: Never.
Michael: Never ever, ever.
Laura: Okay. Yeah, I think we are a podcast unanimous not Snape camp…
Kat: Anti-Snape Coalition.
Laura: … which is bad for representing the fandom.
Michael: [laughs] That’s okay. That’s why we have guests.
Alison: It’s so cruel.
Michael: That’s why we have guests. [laughs]
Kat and Laura: Yeah.
Alison: It’s so cruel. They are fourteen.
Laura: Yeah.
Kat: Yeah, he is a bitter, awful person. He’s just awful.
Alison: [laughs] I just…
Kat: I don’t give a crap how brave you are or what you do in the moment because you love somebody. Be a good person. Don’t be a dick.
Alison: Exactly.
[Michael laughs]
Kat: He’s such a jerk. Ugh, God. All right. I’m sorry. Woo. Rant over. Okay. Go on.
[Alison laughs]
Laura: Anyway. So Snape separates them – their tangled love lives – and puts Harry in front of his desk and now, at this point, you get the usual same spiel of, “You’re a horrible, rotten kid, just like your father”-type business. But, plot twist, Snape thinks Harry broke into his office because Boomslang skin and Gillyweed have both come out of the office, and we know Dobby stole the latter, and the Boomslang skin is, of course, being stolen by Little Crouch, so…
Alison: Which, OGM, though…
Laura: Right.
Alison: … Harry thinks he is talking about Hermione.
Kat: Right, and this is the Polyjuice Potion drop.
Alison: Boom.
Michael: Yeah, that’s a really great…
Laura: Yeah.
Michael: … just little way to throw us completely off the trail. It’s like, “Oh, he’s talking about when Hermione stole that two years ago.”
Kat: Right.
Alison: Yeah.
Michael: Very clever.
Kat: Right.
Laura: Yeah. Well… and I think this is the first we hear of Veritaserum because Snape’s threatening to use it against Harry – which, in the book is foreshadowing – all of the Harry Potter books are, but this one in particular – of Veritaserum will, of course, come up, largely, in the finale of the book. But Harry starts to freak out. “Oh my God. He’s going to find out I’m in love with Cho Chang.”
Alison: Yeah. Really?
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Laura: And would that actually come up? Is Snape – in the midst of his interrogation – going to be, “Oh, by the way, who are you crushing on?”
[Everyone laughs]
Kat: No, I don’t think the Veritaserum makes you word vomit. I think you have to be asked specific questions.
Laura: Asked directly.
Kat: Yeah.
Michael: Oh, God.
Alison: [laughs] I just heard that in Alan Rickman’s voice.
Michael: I know, right?
[Everyone laughs]
Alison: That was… [laughs]
Kat: Come on, Michael. [unintelligible]
Michael: I can’t do a great Alan Rickman, but I could do Potter Puppet Pals’ Alan Rickman.
[Alison laughs]
Michael: [as Snape] Who are you crushing on?
[Everyone laughs]
Alison: That just made my day.
Kat: If I ever meet Alan Rickman, I’ll ask him to say it for us.
Michael: Oh, please. That… [laughs]
Laura: I just picture these interrogation sessions happening while they’re doing each others’ nails and just talking at a sleepover.
[Everyone laughs]
Laura: So Karkaroff comes barging into the class and tells Snape that they need to talk, which is a gutsy move because Snape has been avoiding him and Karkaroff wants to corner him in front of a room full of witnesses pretty much.
[Laura and Michael laugh]
Laura: But Harry knocks over his armadillo bile – which is also a gutsy move since he can get detention from Snape for the littlest things – in order to hear this discussion. But as a side note, why is there enough jarred armadillo bile to go around?
[Everyone laughs]
Kat: Apparently armadillos have a lot… I don’t know. That’s just disgusting.
Alison and Laura: Yeah.
Michael: That’s gross.
Kat: No, thanks.
Laura: But Harry sees Karkaroff pull up the left-hand sleeve of his robe to show Snape his inner forearm, which we, of course, know is the Dark Mark, and he says Snape must have known…
Kat: We don’t, though.
Michael: Well, we know now.
Laura: We know now.
Kat: We know now, but not as readers reading this for the first time, we don’t know.
Laura: Right. But yeah.
[Everyone laughs]
Laura: So Karkaroff says that Snape must have noticed, which we now know that that’s implying that Snape was a Death Eater as well, which – I don’t believe – is said up to this point.
Michael: No, we still haven’t…
Laura: Yeah.
Michael: The only other time I think we got a hint about it was when Moody implied it on the Staircase of Lies.
Kat: Right.
Laura: Right.
Michael: So this is just another hint drop of that. But we still don’t have definite conformation yet.
Kat: Do we think… and this is kind of a broad question. Do we think that this is one of the most intricate books in the series?
Alison: Definitely.
Michael: Yes.
Laura: I think it’s one of the best set-up, as far as having a lot of stuff tying together.
Kat: Which is surprising, considering this is the one she thinks she rushed the most.
Laura: I think it’s the best… for me, it’s the best to read for the first time, because there’s so much of “Whoa, I didn’t see that coming!” It’s one of the most boring to reread, though…
Alison: Yeah.
Laura: … even with it still being my favorite, because you get almost overwhelmed… not overwhelmed, but bored with how much foreshadowing there is. “Oh, we’re going to talk about Portkeys because there’s a Portkey coming up, and we’re going to talk about Veritaserum.” It’s genius to read for the first time around. It’s kind of boring to read on a reread, just because “Oh, isn’t that uncanny.”
Alison: It’s less subtle.
Michael: Yeah.
Alison: She throws in hints less subtlely in this book, which I think is kind of a shame. Because rereading it you’re like, “Oh, here’s Veritaserum. Guess what that’s going to happen with… what’s going to happen with that in the future.” It’s not…
Michael: Well…
Laura: Right, and there’s a lot of situations where that comes up. Which I think is perfectly fine for when you’re reading it for the first time. We read this the first time, I’m sure, and didn’t think anything of it.
Alison: Oh, yeah.
Michael: Oh, yeah.
Laura: I’m sure we were like “Something’s up,” but not like “Oh my God! Snape’s a Death Eater and he’s showing him his secret tattoo that’s going to be…” you don’t pick up on these things unless you are rereading it, really. But moving along, now they’re at Hogsmeade. And I said this before, they’re going to meet Sirius and all they can manage was some chicken and a loaf of bread.
[Michael laughs]
Laura: Even though there’s three of them.
Alison: How did they…
Laura: But it’s not even getting them out.
Alison: Did they go to the kitchens?
Laura: They could have gone to the Three Broomsticks.
Alison: Oh, that’s true.
Laura: Harry’s rich, supposedly, and could have supplied money.
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Laura: Go and buy him the biggest meal, like the all-you-can-eat buffet at the Three Broomsticks and carry it out there. Get the doggie bag. Literally – get it?
[Alison laughs]
Laura: Anyway… I’m on fire today.
Michael: Oh, my sides.
Alison: Did they go to the kitchens at Hogwarts, or were they just like, “Oh, what’s for breakfast this morning? Let’s throw some in my bag”?
Michael: Yeah. I think Harry just swiped it from the table.
Kat: Come on, it’s Harry.
Laura: I mean, go to Honeydukes and get the man some candy.
[Alison laughs]
Laura: I don’t think at this point Harry realizes what dire state he’s in. But also once he realized that, he then could have gone back…
Kat: Well, it’s like a half an hour walk.
Laura: … to the Three Broomsticks.
Alison: He does send him a ham later on, doesn’t he? He sends him a ton of food.
Laura: Let’s send him a medal…
[Alison laughs]
Laura: He gave him a ham.
Kat: Yeah.
Laura: But as a side note, I really like when they’re buying ridiculous socks for Dobby for a present. I love that one of them screams loudly…
Alison Yeah. [laughs]
Laura: … when they become too smelly.
Kat: Yeah, that’s pretty cute.
Laura: It’s great. So they come upon Sirius in dog form. Harry says, “Hello, Sirius,” which… we have code names for a reason, Potter!
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Laura: We know, thankfully, Rita’s not spying on him.
Kat: Thankfully.
Michael: Thank God.
Alison: Thank God, yeah. That would have been a problem.
Laura: They climb up the mountain for half an hour, and because wizards have no concept of exercise, the three of them are literally dying.
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Laura: So once they finally make it up the hill, Buckbeak is there too. And Sirius also has to worry about feeding this massive Hippogriff. I’m sure Buckbeak can fend for himself a little bit better – or at least can eat animals probably with more ease than Sirius can.
Alison: He just catches rats for both of them.
Laura: But… yeah.
Alison: Eww, that’s gross.
Laura: Can Sirius survive on less food when he’s in dog form since dogs eat considerably less than people?
Kat: Probably.
Michael: I’m… yeah, I’m assuming Sirius until this point is staying in his dog form unless he needs to come out of it.
Alison: Yeah.
Michael: It’s probably pretty cold on that mountain. He’ll be a lot warmer if he’s a dog.
Laura: That’s true. It’s also …
Kat: He’ll be able to snuggle with Buckbeak easier…
Laura: I know, at this point it’s March.
Kat: … as a dog. He can be the little spoon.
[Michael laughs]
Alison: Aww!
Michael: Gosh.
Alison: Oh no!
Michael: And then the fan fiction just exploded.
[Everyone laughs]
Alison: Oh, gosh!
Laura: That’s a place I don’t want to go to.
Michael: It’s… we said it. It exists.
Kat: There are nine shirts, folks. I’m just saying.
[Laura and Michael laugh]
Kat: Nine shirts.
Alison: [laughs] No!
Laura: No, that’s a place… stop. Anyway, so Sirius is still wearing his ragged gray Azkaban robes, which… once again, send the man some clothes, Harry!
[Everyone laughs]
Kat: Harry’s too selfish to think about anybody but himself.
Laura: Yeah.
Kat: I mean, let’s be honest.
Laura: Yeah, seriously.
Alison: Yeah.
Laura: Whatever. So as Ali said, Sirius has been living off of rats. My poor heart breaks.
Michael: But it’s a little…
Alison: That’s so gross!
Michael: … creepy reference to Peter and all that.
Alison: Oh! I never thought about that! Oh, gosh!
[Michael laughs]
Laura: What?
Kat: What if he ate Pettigrew? Oh my God!
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Alison: Oh, gosh!
Michael: And then this…
Laura: But the better question is, would he?
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Alison: Yes. The answer to that question is yes, he would.
Kat: Yeah! I mean…
Michael: Would you eat the man-rat?
[Alison laughs]
Michael: Man-rat’s the new Desk!Pig. [laughs]
Laura: Oh no!
Kat: What if he didn’t realize? I mean, I get it…
Alison: How would you realize?
Kat: He knows what he looks like or whatever, but if…
Laura: I’m sure each rat he goes to eat, he inspects the meat.
[Michael laughs]
Kat: I highly doubt that. And what if Buckbeak found him? There’s no way Buckbeak would know.
Alison: Well, we would have gotten rid of Pettigrew a long time ago then.
Kat: That would have been awesome.
Michael: Happy thoughts.
[Alison and Laura laugh]
Laura: So now we’re moving into the Barty Crouch business that we said was largely, completely, pretty much cut from the movie, except for the very basics. So Barty Crouch Sr. is in the hospital now supposedly with critical illness. And as aside, I don’t really remember, why is he this sick?
Michael: Because… he’s sick because he’s under the Imperius Curse. And he’s…
Kat: Imperius Curse.
Alison: Is he in the hospital, though?
Laura: Oh, okay.
Kat: No, I think that’s just the rumor. I think he’s locked up at home.
Alison: Oh, I thought he was at home.
Michael: He was.
Kat: He’s locked up at home.
Michael: He was. At this point he’s escaped.
Laura: Okay.
Michael: Yeah, it’s the next chapter, so…
Kat: Harry finds him soon, right?
Laura: Oh, yeah.
Michael: He’s gone.
Kat: Yeah, that’s right.
Michael: Because they mention that his house is abandoned in the article. But I think… yeah, the critical illness thing…
Kat: Oh, right.
Michael: … comes from the fact that Voldemort has been making Crouch write to the Ministry pretending that he’s ill. So that’s where that’s coming from.
Kat: Right. Right, right.
Laura: So does that… oh, okay.
Michael: He’s ill…
Laura: But he’s not actually ill.
Michael: … but not in the way the Daily Prophet thinks he is. [laughs]
Laura: Okay. So, Harry says he can’t be that ill if he got all the way up here, because he saw the name Barty Crouch on the map in Snape’s office. Sirius doesn’t question that. [laughs] Really? So…
Alison: Does Sirius not know his son’s name? Because he talks about him.
Laura: Well, I mean…
Alison: Does he not know his name?
Laura: Oh no, he does. It’s just Sirius fully believes that he is dead.
Kat: Right, and the map never says “Junior.”
Alison: That’s true.
Kat: It doesn’t say “Junior” or “Senior.” It just says Barty Crouch.
Alison: That’s true.
Laura: Yeah. So Sirius believes… I mean, Sirius honestly should… I’m surprised he’s not a paranoid man really, in the sense that Pettigrew faked his own death and that’s the whole reason he went to prison but…
Kat: Yeah, that’s… I think one of the biggest things that bothers me about this chapter is like, hello! Open your ears, Sirius!
Alison and Laura: Yeah.
Kat: Come on, dude! I don’t know.
Laura: But Sirius believes… now they go back to the whole events of the Quidditch World Cup and Sirius believes Winky stole the wand from Harry in the top box of the World Cup rather than… Harry thought he just dropped it. Winky thought… Sirius thinks Winky stole it, Ron thinks Lucius Malfoy stole it, Hermione thinks it’s Bagman.
Michael: Mhm.
Laura: Which, like you said, Michael, is sort of that red herring business. But we get one of the best quotes in the entire series…
Kat: Yes.
Laura: … which, in regards to Crouch and Winky talking to Ron, Sirius says, “If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not how he treats his equals.” I will say that all three of my favorite quotes from the whole series come from Sirius Black.
Kat: I feel like for a lot of people that’s the case.
Alison: Yup.
Laura: I mean, my favorite… my second favorite quote from the series is, “The world isn’t split into good people and Death Eaters.” This is my second favorite quote and then my third favorite quote is, “I would have died rather than betray my friends.” Or however I’m paraphrasing, I think, so…
Michael: Well, this quote in particular is interesting because it leads into Sirius’s relationship with Kreacher in the next book. And Hermione kind of takes him to task for this particular quote, being like, [in a British accent] “Well, you’re not practicing what you preach.”
Laura: Yeah.
Alison: Yeah.
Michael: So it’s if… but it’s… of course, there’s been a lot of debate about that in terms of how Sirius was treated by Kreacher when he was younger and whatnot, but…
Laura: Yeah. I think he’s almost using Kreacher as an extension of his family rather than because he’s a house-elf.
Michael: Yeah.
Alison: Yeah.
Michael: But it is interesting that that quote comes from Sirius, and then what happens in the next book…
Laura: Yeah. No, it’s true. But Sirius says that if Crouch ever took a day off of work for illness, he’d eat Buckbeak.
[Michael laughs]
Laura: Which is kind of too real, considering he’s starving, but…
[Kat laughs]
Laura: So…
Kat: I mean, Buckbeak is a big spoon, so…
[Michael laughs]
Laura: Yes. Well, keeping him warm.
[Alison laughs]
Laura: But… so now I say we get that info bomb I was referring to before, which to summarize: Crouch sends Sirius to Azkaban without a trial; he was going to be the next Minister of Magic; then he basically became McCarthy, in that he was way more concerned with accuse, accuse, accuse and get people in Azkaban; he authorized Aurors to kill rather than capture without trial, hand people to Dementors for the Kiss without trial or to Azkaban, and for Aurors to use Unforgivable Curses on suspects. So all of that’s awful. But really, this whole section to me seems like a very strong and intentional parallel to the Communism scare in the US, like I said, McCarthyism. Or it could even be just terrorist scares in general. I don’t know if you guys would agree.
Michael: I think it’s… I think there’s something to that because the most obvious parallel of the whole series is to World War II.
Laura: Right.
Michael: And I did actually come across a quote today that I saw through the Harry Potter Lexicon from one of Jo’s interviews where she said that Muggle wars actually feed wizard wars. And they don’t directly influence each other, but they do have some kind of correlations with each other when they occur. It was starting around the late ’50s, right, so this kind of matches.
Alison: Oh, yeah.
Laura: Mhm. Yup.
Michael: I think Crouch’s stuff came… at least Crouch’s stuff with Sirius came much later – that was closer to the ’70s, I believe, according to the timeline. But yeah, there’s definitely parallels to the whole idea of accusing your neighbor.
Laura: It’s the same as the Salem Witch Trials, all of that type of thing.
Alison: Yup.
Laura: Yeah. Actual witch trials. Get it?
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Michael: Oh, gosh!
Laura: Anyway… and to me there was also a tie with debate over whether it’d be American or Western governments using torture as part of interrogation against terrorist suspects. Because they said that Crouch Sr. was getting a lot of support from people that were saying they deserve it, whatever means necessary type of thing. And then there’s the camp that’s like, “no, that’s violation of human rights.” So I just think all of this stuff… I don’t think… I think it’s making larger statements rather than being a specific tie to something, but that’s just my thoughts.
Alison: Yeah.
Laura: So Little Crouch was caught with supposed Death Eaters. What’s interesting, though, is that Sirius himself doesn’t even necessarily believe that… it’s not that he doesn’t believe, but he has reasonable doubt that Crouch was even a Death Eater. He says he might have been caught at the wrong place at the wrong time. But Sirius makes a comment – it almost feels like he’s slightly… he sympathizes a bit with Barty Crouch Jr. – and then he says he thinks he went wrong because his dad was never around, he was always working, and we see later that. He says he was just nineteen, but…
Alison: Which is slightly disturbing, if you think about it, because he actually did do those things. Laura, that was the part that disturbed me this time. Wow, he was about our age.
Laura: Yeah.
Alison: And that’s really crazy.
Laura: Right, I know. And that’s the thing, when people say that, “Oh, but they were so young…” I’m nineteen. I know not to kill people.
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Laura: No, I mean…
Kat: No, I mean, it’s true. There’s this whole…
Michael: Laura, Laura… [laughs] that needs to go on your T-shirt.
[Alison laughs]
Laura: Yeah.
Kat: No, it’s just there’s this whole… and I think that this even… I know that this book has been out for however many years now, but I think it still is relevant…
Michael: Mhm.
Alison: Oh, yeah.
Kat: … and speaks to what’s going on with mental health and weapons and all of that in the US right now. There’s a certain age where people are responsible for what they do…
Laura: Right.
Kat: … no matter what is or isn’t the circumstance of how it happened and… I don’t know. I have no sympathy for Barty Crouch even though I have said before that I enjoy his character.
Laura: Yeah. I do think saying that he’s a product of his environment is not necessarily the same thing as sympathizing with him. I certainly do not sympathize with him in any way but…
Alison: Yeah.
Laura: … and I do think, obviously, people make their own choices. Sirius is proof of that. He was in a toxic sort of environment. But there is the element of he didn’t have, I guess, the father figure that he might have needed, but none of these are excuses, obviously, but they’re factors.
Michael: No, I think that’s a good point to bring up because I think that’s a major point of the Harry Potter series as a whole is that people have choices to make in their lives.
Laura: Mhm.
Michael: And I mean, like we were saying earlier, I think the greatest example of that in the series is Snape because people do put him on a pedestal, but he did make bad choices, and so it doesn’t excuse his behavior, [laughs] and I think that’s the same with both of the Crouches, really, because they both make really poor choices in these situations.
Laura: Yeah. Definitely. But Sirius says he was screaming for his… or I skipped the point where Barty threw his son in Azkaban with…
[Alison and Laura laugh]
Laura: … he gave him a trial, which they said was testament to him being his son and whatnot, but he was, Sirius says, “screaming for his mother by nightfall. He went quiet after a few days, though… they all went quiet in the end… except when they shrieked in their sleep… ” That’s a terrifying sentence.
Alison: Yeah.
Kat: That, I mean… it still gives me goosebumps.
Michael: It’s funny; when I first read the series those kinds of more eerie lines didn’t really hit me as hard, but reading it now, that particular line really stood out to me as being very, very disturbing. And I was wondering if that’s just maybe something that hits you with age or experience.
Kat: I think it depends… I mean, it’s going to hit people depending on what they’ve been through in their own life.
Laura: Yeah.
Kat: I think that’s one of those things that… you read that line, and you think back to something that might have happened to you or something that you read about or experienced, and it’s just harrowing.
Michael: Yeah.
Laura: I also think maybe when we were younger… I can’t really remember my own thoughts at the time but something like this: We’re thinking about Azkaban as this magical prison and all this – and magical Dementors – and it’s still… we have a separation from the matter that’s making it seem like, “Ooh, dark, scary,” whereas I read this line now and think of actual prison. [laughs]
Michael: Yeah.
Laura: So we find out Barty Crouch Jr. “died” a year after they brought him in. “The Dementors got excited when they knew a death was coming,” Sirius says. How can you tell if a Dementor is excited?
Michael: I almost feel like that’s another one of those creepy things that you just don’t want to be witness to.
Alison: Yeah. Do they swarm faster? Is it…
Michael: I imagine it’s something akin to what happened at the Black Lake in the third year.
Laura: Mmm. Yeah, that’s what I was thinking, too.
Alison and Michael: Yeah.
Kat: They probably throw a party.
[Michael laughs]
Alison: Oh, gosh!
Kat: I mean, Jim the Dementor… I don’t know if you remember Jim?
[Alison laughs]
Kat: But he has kids and all that.
[Michael laughs]
Alison and Laura: Oh, yeah.
Kat: He probably gets a babysitter, and they throw a party.
[Michael laughs]
Alison: Oh, gosh. [laughs]
Kat: Yup. And they hire the people [who] played the music at Nearly Headless Nick’s deathday party.
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Kat: They get those people. It’s a big hit. It’s a big hit.
Laura: Yeah.
Alison: The least, I think, they probably do is swarm [which]ever cell the person who is dying is in.
Michael: Yeah.
Kat: They suck harder.
Laura: Yeah.
Alison: That’s really… oh, gosh. Now I’m not going to sleep tonight.
[Alison, Laura, and Michael laugh]
Alison: Well, creepy things happening in Azkaban.
Laura: Crouch Sr. and Mrs. Crouch were allowed a deathbed visit, which isn’t the usual, which is pretty sad, thinking of people dying, people who have families but [who] are in Azkaban, especially when you think of the wrongly accused, like Sirius, dying by themselves in this horrible condition, and we find out that Mrs. Crouch died shortly afterward, according to Sirius. So we know in hindsight or whatever that Crouch’s mother – right? – switched places with Barty and died in his place. That’s the whole business with that, okay, yeah. So Crouch fell out of favor since he lost his whole family, his reputation, his career, the potential position that he’s poised for as Minister, and his popularity with the public, and the Winky scandal pretty much brought back those painful memories of someone associated with his family being associated with dark magic, so…
Kat: Do you think they call it the Winky scandal?
[Michael laughs]
Laura: Winky.
Alison: Oh, gosh!
Kat: [laughs] No, that’s a pretty funny name. That’s all.
Alison: Winkygate.
[Alison and Michael laugh]
Kat: Winkygate, yes! Love it! Love it.
Laura: So he’s pretty much obsessed with catching dark wizards to regain his popularity and reputation, and Ron thinks that Crouch came to the office to spy on Snape for these Death Eater reasons, and Sirius points out that Crouch would just come to judge the tournament if that were the case because that would make it a whole lot easier. Sirius is still not putting anything together. So I think this is also the first we hear of the Lestranges because Sirius tallies…
Michael: Yeah, he counts off all… yeah.
Laura: Lists. [laughs]
Kat: Yeah, some name drops here.
Laura: Yeah, all the Death Eaters that Snape was buddies with in school.
Alison: But does it mention they’re his family?
Michael: Couldn’t just leave that out of the picture.
Alison: Dun dun dun.
Laura: Oh yeah, he says a married couple, though, and we never really hear… Mr. Lestrange never appears ever.
Kat: Rodolpho, right? [Editor’s note: Rodolphus]
Laura: Yeah.
Michael: They just married for appearances, anyway, because she’s all over Voldemort. [laughs] Could I also point out, too, because you mentioned, Laura, that Sirius still hasn’t put all of this together. The person, as per usual, who is most on point in this entire chapter is Hermione. She’s got this down. She actually asks, “Would Crouch really put his son in jail?” and Sirius is all like, “Oh, Hermione, of course he did. I thought you had the measure of him.” But he didn’t. He didn’t end up doing that in the end. Hermione is very on point throughout the whole thing. Other than the Ludo Bagman red herring the she mentioned, she’s right about everything else that she talks about.
Alison: Yeah.
Kat: It’s true.
Laura: So now Harry fills in Sirius about what he saw between Snape and Karkaroff, and we got an Audioboo clip from RoseLumos.
[Audio]: Hi, guys. This is Alyssa or RoseLumos on the main site. I was just reading the next chapter, and I came up with a really simple question. When Harry is telling Sirius about the strange conversation Snape and Karkaroff had, why does Sirius not understand what is clearly a reference to the Dark Mark tattoo? The exact quotes are “He showed Snape something on his arm” and “… Sirius, looking completely bewildered. He ran his fingers distractedly through his filthy hair and then shrugged again. ‘Well, I have no idea what that’s about.'” How can Sirius, whose best friend was an Auror and who was an active member of the Order of the Phoenix, not know about this? It seems that the Death Eaters don’t hide them, especially when Voldemort was in full power, and they seem to talk rather openly about having them. Could they be more secretive than we think? Like I said, it’s a simple question about wondering what everyone’s opinion was. Thanks, guys, and keep up the great work.
Laura: To me, I disagree with what’s in question because I think it’s clear that Sirius is bluffing, I think, because he very clearly reacts, I think, when he said, “What? He showed something on his arm?” I think Sirius is having a moment of, “Oh, crap.” But less obvious to me is why he is bluffing because he’s fairly honest otherwise, but my guess was that he doesn’t want the three of them obsessing again over Snape being a Death Eater and also that Voldemort – it’s Voldemort’s sign of getting stronger – is poised for a return, when Harry is under all this other pressure.
Kat: That is a point of view that I’ve never heard or even considered.
Michael: Mhm.
Kat: I don’t think that Sirius is bluffing at all.
Laura: Really?
Kat: I think that this…
Laura: Really?
Kat: Yeah, I think…
Michael I don’t think it’s a bluff either.
Kat: Yeah. I honestly just think that another boo boo.
Michael: I think this is a major boo boo.
Kat: Yeah. Sirius would know about the Dark Mark. There’s no doubt in my mind.
Alison: Would he, though?
Laura: I agree that there’s no doubt in my mind, and I think he so clearly reacts when Ron – whoever says it, Ron or Harry – says, “Oh, yeah. He showed me something on his arm,” and he’s like, “Wait. He showed you something on his arm?” And then I think he then goes, “Well, I have no idea what that’s about,” but…
Alison: Well, I feel like, though, if did know about it he would…
Michael: Yeah.
Alison: … have used that to clear his name away a long time ago because if he knew it I feel like he could have said, “Look. They’re all marked. Check the ones who you’ve already have caught.”
Kat: That is very, very true, actually.
Alison: So I feel like he’s more just almost in shock at “That’s really weird. Why would he be doing that?”
Laura: I mean, Arthur was talking about how everyone clearly knew what the Dark Mark was in the fashion it was displayed [at] the World Cup in the sky. So to me, it would make sense [that] the symbol of his followers…
Alison: But I don’t know. I still agree with what I said, but if I’m saying what you guys said, which is probably right, I just never saw it that way. I would say then that it is a mistake.
Michael: Yeah, well, because, I mean, if Sirius…
Alison and Kat: Yeah.
Michael: … knew what it was the mystery would crumble at this point, right? So…
Laura: Well, that’s why I thought he was purposely hiding it…
Alison: Yeah.
Laura: … because Harry is all worried about these tasks and whatnot, and they’re very paranoid constantly about Snape. They go on this whole thing, and they’re like, “Oh no,” and Hermoine is saying, “Well, remember when he saved you from that one time?” and they obsess over Snape, and they always want to go to Snape that… I don’t know. I think maybe… I don’t know. Because Sirius hates Snape…
Alison: Yeah.
Laura: I don’t know. I’m thinking maybe he would probably be like, “Yeah. He is the worst,” but at the same time I don’t… I think my opinion is that he doesn’t want Harry thinking that Voldemort is coming back or that he’s getting stronger, or Sirius himself is having trouble believing it.
Michael: Hmm.
Laura: [Those’re] my thoughts on it. I always thought that he was clearly hiding something, but…
Michael: Yeah. The only way I can think to get around it is the idea that “I was forced into it” or “I’m not a Death Eater anymore” or “I’ve reformed.” I mean, if you pointed Karkaroff out and said that he’d be like, “I run this school, and I haven’t done anything bad for the last ten years, so you got nothing on me.”
Alison: Yeah.
Laura: Because also, it’s just in the wording of it and the way he like… because Sirius tends to think out loud, and he’s like, “Well, maybe this, or maybe it might be that, or you said Winky did that,” whereas this he just shuts it down. He’s all, “Well, I have no idea what that’s about. Moving on.”
Alison: Yeah.
Laura: He doesn’t… I feel like if he [were] legitimately being like, “Well, maybe it’s a symbol,” if he [were] being honest with them and if he truly didn’t know I feel like he’d be thinking out loud and saying, “Maybe Karkaroff was showing him a symbol of something” or whatnot, but he has a reaction of “What did you say?” and then shuts the conversation down. Which is how I perceived that.
Michael: Yeah.
Kat: I mean, that’s an interesting theory. It’s one that I had never considered. I’ll be curious to see what the listeners think this week.
Michael: Yeah.
Alison: Yeah. Definitely. Answer on Pottermore someday.
[Kat and Michael laugh]
Laura: One day. In many years.
Kat: Yeah.
Laura: The chapter pretty much ends, but one interesting thing is that Ron says that Percy would love Crouch even more for not breaking the rules for his son because someone questions, “Oh, do you think Percy knows that Crouch threw his own son in jail?” Hermione says [that] he’d never throw out his family to the Dementors. I just want to play devil’s advocate about this and say, “Pre his Deathly Hallows redemption…” because this is our first book where we’re seeing Percy go over to the dark side – “… if one of the Weasleys legitimately did something bad or [were] in question of doing something truly awful would Percy throw his family to the Dementors if he [were] in a position of power?”
Michael: Actually, Laura, I think that’s such a good question I think we’ll save that for the Podcast Question of the Week at the end of the show.
Laura: So the chapter ends by Ron saying, “Poor old Snuffles. He must really like you, Harry. Imagine having to live off rats,” which in my opinion is a much-deserved guilt trip.
[Kat and Michael laugh]
Michael: You guys. Worst Hogsmeade field trip ever.
[Laura laughs]
Kat: I mean, pretty much. They spend most of it in a cave.
Alison: And they didn’t get an Butterbeer. I mean, come on. Waste of a trip.
Laura: You know who didn’t get any Butterbeer?
[Alison laughs]
Laura: Sirius
Michael: Ah!
Alison: That’s true!
[Michael laughs]
Kat: Very true.
Alison: This was the worst trip ever. We didn’t get to eat.
[Michael laughs]
Alison: Just go to my starving godfather.
Kat: Selfish.
Michael: Okay, so speaking of “selfish,” it’s time for the Podcast Question of the Week, and this is based on the question that Laura asked in the discussion.
“At the conclusion of this chapter, Ron suggests that Percy’s recent actions at the Ministry have led him to believe that Percy would behave as Sirius believes Crouch Sr. has done with his family, completely abandoning them for the sake of appearances and career opportunities. Hermione counters with the belief that Percy would never ‘throw any of his family to the Dementors,’ but Ron seems doubtful. Not taking the events of Deathly Hallows into account, if he had the power to do so, would Percy really sacrifice members of his family to Azkaban, or even send them straight to the Dementors, if any of the Weasleys found themselves at the center of a scandal similar to the Crouches’?”
So make sure [to] head to the main Alohomora! site, and leave your comments on this question for us to read next week.
Kat: This is a toughie.
Alison: Yeah.
Kat: So I guess that almost wraps up our episode here. We just need to thank Ali for joining us. Thank you so much for coming on this show agin. We love having you.
Alison: No problem. Any time.
Laura: Yay. And thank you for doing what you do on our forums.
Alison: Oh. It’s a blast. I love it. I love reading everyone’s comments. I love being there as often as I can. When school doesn’t drag me down.
Kat: Yeah. Our listeners are basically the best, so…
Alison: They really are.
Kat: I’m sending hearts to everybody. They just can’t see it.
[Alison laughs]
Kat: Hearts, hearts, hearts.
Alison: By the way, Michael, I don’t know if you saw my comment.
Michael: Oh, I don’t… no.
Alison: I have to say, “Your chapter intros – your voices – are one of my favorite things now.”
Michael: Oh, d’aww.
[Laura laughs]
Alison: And they always crack me up. I love them.
Kat: If you want to make Michael blush, that’s how you do it.
[Alison laughs]
Laura: So to any of you lovely listeners [whom] we love so much, if you would like to be on the show, you can find out how by heading over to our website and checking out the “Be on the Show” page, which is at alohomora.mugglenet.com, and just make sure you have appropriate audio equipment so that you sound lovely.
Kat: And of course, in the meantime, stay in contact with us on Twitter at @AlohomoraMN, facebook.com/openthedumbledore, our phone number, 206-GO-ALBUS – 206-462-5287 – and of course, go subscribe and leave us a review on iTunes because we love reading those, and as you heard several times this episode, on Audioboo, directly on alohomora.mugglenet.com. All you need is an Internet connection and a microphone. It doesn’t even have to be a good one. It can be the cheap one that comes on the headphones that you get from the Apple store. I mean, do I have to pay them for saying “apple”? But yeah, so you can even use that. Go leave us a message, whether it’s a recap comment or as you heard on this chapter, something new for next week, so leave us those, and you might hear it on the show.
Laura: It’s free!
Kat: It’s free! Like Dobby.
[Laura and Michael laugh]
Michael: Yes. And if you are getting ready for your next Hogsmeade trip, it’s cold out there, so you’re going to need a shirt, and we now have long sleeve T-shirts for the cold weather as well as short sleeve once it gets warm, along with tote bags, so you can bring food to your starving godfather in the mountains, as well as sweatshirts, flip-flops, water bottles, travel mugs, and more coming soon. For those T-shirts that you wear in Hogsmeade, we have Mandrake Liberation Front and Desk!Pig designs now available. There are over 80 products to chose from in our Alohomora! store, and make sure to also download our Alohomora! ringtone, which you can have for your phone while you’re outside of Hogwarts since it doesn’t work in the grounds.
Laura: And also, make sure to download our mobile phone app. It’s available seemingly worldwide. Prices vary, but it’s got transcripts, bloopers, alternate endings, host vlogs, and more. Michael promised that he’s going to read that poem this week.
Michael: [laughs] Yes. Yes, I am. All right, so we are exhausted from our Hogsmeade trip on this episode, so I think we’re going to head back up to the common room.
[Show music begins]
Michael: I’m Michael Harle.
Laura: I’m Laura Reilly.
Kat: And I’m Kat Miller. Thank you for listening to Episode 65 of Alohomora!
Laura: Open the Dumbledore.
[Show music continues]
Alison: Wait. No, I am reading the… shut the front door!
Kat: I know, right?
Alison: I love him. [laughs] Oh my gosh, what is that?
Laura: It’s for camouflage. For whatever reason. I don’t even know what he needs it for, but he really wanted one. [laughs]
Alison: The sad thing is I can see my dad wearing one of those and…
Laura: Yeah.
Kat: All right, spell it for me.
Laura: G-H-I-L-L-I-E. So that’s what I think of when I hear “gilly” now. [laughs]
Kat: [laughs] What the hell? It’s like Chewbacca made out of leaves.
[Alison laughs]
