Transcript – Episode 64
[Show music begins]
Noah Fried: This is Episode 64 of Alohomora! for January 4, 2014.
[Show music continues]
Noah: Hey, everyone. Noah Fried here. Excited for another episode of Alohomora!
Eric Scull: Eric Scull here, waiting to crack down.
Rosie Morris: And I’m Rosie Morris, here to introduce our guest, who this week is Aimee Schechter. Hi, Aimee. How are you?
Aimee Schechter: I’m good. How are you guys?
Rosie: Very good, thank you. Tell us a little bit about yourself.
Aimee: I’m a Ravenclaw, and a cool Harry Potter-ish fact is [that] I was born on the day Philosopher’s Stone was first published, so…
Noah: Whoa.
Rosie: Wow.
Aimee: I think that’s cool. [laughs]
Rosie: So you have literally never had a moment in your life where Harry Potter has not existed.
Aimee: It’s true. We had a project in English, and my teacher… we had to do a project on authors, and it was up to the first Harry Potter book, and everyone was like, “Wait, when was that published?” and I was like, “Oh, I know the exact date.”
[Aimee, Eric, and Rosie laugh]
Eric: That’s really cool.
Noah: When did you start reading them?
Aimee: My dad read me the first one in kindergarten because all my friends were reading it, and so I had to, and I haven’t stopped since.
Noah: That’s great.
Rosie: That’s what we like to hear.
Noah: You’ve literally grown up with Harry.
Aimee: Yes. It’s very strange to be older than him in most of the books now.
[Eric and Rosie laugh]
Eric: I think we all feel that, actually.
Aimee: Because he had always been older than me, and now I’m like, “Wait, wait, this doen’t work anymore.”
Noah: This reminds me because I grew up with Harry in the movies. When he was eleven in the movie – Daniel Radcliffe – I was eleven/twelve. I actually saw him on the street the other day when I was walking through Manhattan.
Eric: Who, Harry Potter?
Noah: No, Daniel Radcliffe.
Eric: Oh, okay.
Noah: He was just wearing a hat, walking casually, and I almost jumped out of the car to just accost him and be like, “I know who you are!”
[Aimee laughs]
Rosie: Yeah, don’t do that.
Eric: How could you tell with the long hair? The long Igor hair?
Noah: No, he had short hair.
Eric: Oh, no kidding.
Noah: Yeah, I just knew it was him immediately. I didn’t jump out of my car, though, because that would have… there was oncoming traffic, and…
Eric: Yeah. Probably would have caused an accident. Nobody wants that.
Noah: But it’s probably never going to happen again. But whatever.
Eric: We want to remind our listeners that [on] this episode we will be discussing Chapter 26 of [Harry Potter and the] Goblet of Fire, the fourth book in the seven-book series. The chapter is titled “The Second Task.” Please do not proceed until you have read Chapter 26.
Rosie: Before we get on to Chapter 26, we need to recap Chapter 25 from last week, and you guys had a brilliant reaction to last week’s episode. Some of you say it was the funniest it’s been for a very long time, which I think it definitely was considering some of the content.
[Noah and Rosie laugh]
Rosie: But we should start [since] we mean to go on talking about unicorns, and this is a comment from Bryan Levine on our site, and it says,
“Longtime listener, first-time commenter. Regarding the unicorn thing, I’m sorry, but I have to stick up for Noah on this one. Medieval unicorn mythology clearly has EVERYTHING to do with sex, and it’s not at all unintentional that the unicorn can only be caught by placing the phallic horn in the virgin maiden’s lap. A visit to view the unicorn tapestries at The Cloisters in New York City will confirm this. Obviously this was far too racy for Jo to spell out clearly in the books, but I think that’s exactly the type of unicorn myth [s]he was referencing. This also explains why the unicorns generally approach female humans (gay unicorns excepted, of course!).”
[Aimee and Eric laugh]
Rosie: But as someone who’s now got a Master’s in Medieval Studies, I can stamp my approval on that as well. The medieval unicorn myth is definitely connected to virgins, and yeah, the horn is very phallic, indeed. Also, for once, Noah, I approve. [laughs]
Noah: That’s fantastic. I hope you’re listening, Kat.
[Rosie laughs]
Eric: Oh, gosh.
Noah: Yeah, it just seemed obvious to me because I’ve read enough medieval literature to see that if a unicorn is placing its horn in a maiden’s lap, it’s clear.
Rosie: It’s all about innocence and all that stuff. Unicorns represent purity, so they are attracted to pure things like virgins.
[Eric and Rosie laugh]
Rosie: But we’ll move swiftly off from that. And this is a comment from SassyHedwig, and it’s about Mrs. Norris, and it says,
“I disagree that Mrs. Norris could see through the Invisibility Cloak. Cats have a very strong sense of smell, and it is possible that she was able to smell the bath soaps from the tub in the prefect[s’] bathroom. There are two references in this chapter to Mrs. Norris “sniffing out” Harry. On page 470 of the US edition, it says, “Mrs. Norris was peering around Filch’s legs… Harry had the distinct impression that she could smell him” and again on page 474, “Mrs. Norris gave a loud meow, still peering around Filch’s legs, looking for the source of Harry’s bubble-bath smell.” Mrs. Norris isn’t actually seeing through the cloak, just catching Harry’s scent.”
Eric: Oh, well spotted.
Noah: Yeah, I mean, I thought this immediately because if Mrs. Norris had been able to see Harry as well as smell him, she would have been all over him.
Eric: Can you just imagine a cat jumping up and attacking an invisible person who’s like, “Ahh, get off!” and claws in the Invisibility Cloak and all that junk.
Noah: Right. That’s a very funny image.
Rosie: Just dangling there in mid-air.
Noah: Yeah.
[Eric laughs]
Noah: But then why didn’t Mrs. Norris act on her smell? Or does she smell students everywhere? She wasn’t quite sure.
Eric: I think smell is great, but it’s not as good as sight at pointing you in the exact location.
Rosie: And how exactly would she act on it, anyway? Ultimately, she is still a cat. Who[m] could she tell?
Noah: That’s true. And another comment I saw – might have been in the forums – was commenting on us saying that Mrs. Norris was half-Kneazle, which is actually not true according to this commenter.
Rosie: Nope, that’s Crookshanks.
Noah: Right, Crookshanks is, but Mrs. Norris is just a very smart cat.
Eric: Hmm.
Rosie: And a very mean cat as well.
Noah: That too. [meows]
Rosie: Okay, so our next comment is from Mythrandier, and it is about the prefects’ bathroom, and it says,
“I wanted to add to the discussion of whether or not somebody else could enter the prefect[s’] bathroom if it is “in use.” The chapter mentions that Harry deadbolted the door, so this brings up an interesting point about magic. Why would deadbolting the door matter with a password entrance? Do deadbolt locks override passwords? The evidence would suggest so [since] it says he deadbolted the door so [that] no one else would pop in.”
So magic vs. deadbolts. What do you guys think?
Noah: That’s an excellent point. I mean, I would like that if someone [were] really intent on getting in there, that wouldn’t stop them, but…
Eric: Yeah, I mean, [the Unlocking Charm] specifically opens locked doors, doesn’t it?
Rosie: It doesn’t open all locked doors. We do come across some that it doesn’t work on.
Eric: Hmm. So if it had been magically shut to those sorts of spells… but then why have a password entry if you can just deadbolt it? Eh, I don’t know. I like the question
Rosie: I’m sure there’s some kind of fail-safe so there’ll be doors that you can only open when the room is unoccupied or something.
Noah: Maybe this was a mistake from Jo, and she just forgot. She just had a… her mind just spaced out for a minute and she realized that she locked it twice. [laughs]
Rosie: But I mean, if nothing else why would you try [to] unlock a locked bathroom door.
[Aimee, Eric, and Rosie laugh]
Rosie: Surely that just means it’s occupied.
Eric: Yeah.
[Eric and Rosie laugh]
Eric: Well, do you think Harry needs all of those bubbles to himself, though? It’s weird that just one person can go in the prefect[s’ bathroom] at a time or that he’s the only one in there. Don’t you think somebody else would want to bathe, especially if it’s like the movies where it’s like an Olympic-size pool. [laughs] Do you think that more than one [person] could bathe in there at one time?
Rosie: Someone else did comment on the forums about the possibility that it’s this almost Roman baths setting – open baths where everyone can go in and bathe – but…
Eric: Mhm.
Noah: Yeah.
Eric: But I think locking it is probably locking it, right?
Rosie: Yeah.
Eric: You can’t get in unless you’re a ghost.
Noah: But I think that the fact that there are two locks suggests that it is meant as a communal space. That’s more evidence leading toward that.
Eric: Hmm.
Noah: A communal space unless somebody wants to just be there alone, of course.
Rosie: Yeah. I can’t tell you the amount of fan fiction that uses that prefects’ bathroom, of course.
[Aimee, Eric, and Rosie laugh]
Noah: Oh, I bet you could. [laughs] There’s a lot.
Rosie: It’s just as soon as that chapter came out in that book and it’s just… ugh…
Eric: Is there a “Best of” list somewhere on MNFF that I can… [laughs]
Rosie: A list of all of the bathroom fics? [laughs]
Eric: Yeah. Oh, gosh.
Noah: Draco/Pansy? Uh-huh?
Eric: Ah.
Rosie: Surprisingly, most of it is probably Harry/Draco.
Eric: Well, what are they are going to do? They can’t… oh. Oh, man. That’s a shame.
Rosie: Yeah. That’s not a problem.
Eric: I was going to say, “What are they going to do? What are boys and girls to do in Hogwarts when they can’t use the common room?” Or sorry, “the dormitories” because boys can’t go into the girls dormitories, and the dormitories are a little too public.
Noah: Take a bath.
Rosie: Exactly.
Eric: Yeah, take a bath.
Noah: Which is presumably the only bathing in Hogwarts that we know of.
[Aimee laughs]
Eric: Right.
Rosie: I’m sure there are other baths. [laughs]
Noah: Oh smelly, smelly.
Aimee: Only prefects are allowed to bathe at Hogwarts.
[Eric and Rosie laugh]
Eric: That is how they inspire people to get good grades.
[Aimee laughs]
Noah: It’s the equivalent of an aristocracy but for cleanliness.
Rosie: Is there not just some spell? Like [the Scouring Charm] but for people?
Eric: Yeah. Yeah, I’d like to think so.
Rosie: Probably helps. [laughs]
Noah: It’s much more efficient.
Rosie: Anyway, moving on. Our next comment is from HufflepuffSkein, and it’s about the clue in the egg, and it says,
“On a more serious note, I was pondering the egg (and maybe this has already been discussed a million times over). What one has to do to acquire the clue is rather poetic. The fake dragon’s egg has to be submerged in water (to put out the fire, perhaps??) to then open up to reveal the information about the Second Task, itself to be undertaken underwater. The egg embodies the metaphorical and allegorical connections of fire and water as important yet opposing elements.”
Eric: That’s very good analysis there. I am actually really impressed since thinking of it being the dragon’s egg as representing fire…
Noah: Yeah, I didn’t think of that initially, but I guess you could make that connection.
Rosie: It’s a shame that there[‘re] only three tasks rather than four because you’ve got fire, you’ve got water. I guess the maze would be Earth.
Noah: Earth, yeah.
Eric: Hmm.
Rosie: You’ve got all of them, apart from air.
Eric: Well we know that Harry is good at Quidditch.
Rosie: This is true.
[Noah laughs]
Rosie: And I guess dragons could probably count as air as well because they fly.
Eric: Ha! So there'[re] your four elements.
Rosie: They’re all in there. Yeah. I like it when all of the natural stuff gets tied in to the magical stuff.
Noah: I would think just with the egg that there’s more sort of birth allegories going on.
Rosie: That’s true.
Noah: I don’t know exactly what that would be like but as long as we’re talking about poetic metaphors…
Rosie: Not sure how it works with the Second Task being mermaids and things.
Eric: Yeah. So I’d say that that was a…
Noah: That would be the womb. That’s a return to the womb.
Rosie: And you’re having to save people before… ?
Eric: Oh! I guess. Okay.
[Rosie laughs]
Eric: Well, actually, we all originated in the water according to…
Noah: We originated in the water, and then we break the bonds and release from the water and we…
Eric: Water gave birth to life and all that stuff.
Noah: And then we go through life, which is a maze.
[Eric and Rosie laugh]
Noah: And you just have to try not to get crucioed.
Rosie: It’s always just such a metaphor.
[Eric and Rosie laugh]
Rosie: Just to round off the end of these comments, we’ve got SubjectiveUnicorn on our main site, and it says,
“I am sure it has been asked before but how come Harry did not use [the Summoning Charm?]!!!! Come on! Is he a wizard or what? He even took his wand out to tap the map, unsuccessfully. Obviously, his slow mindedness is a quite convenient plot arrangement, but still, this plot arrangement maybe could [have been] done differently… “
And just to tie in to that, we’ve got rebeccatheravenclaw [who] says,
“This bothers me every single time! Kinda surprised none of the hosts mentioned this [last week]. I remember hearing someone somewhere saying that almost the entire GoF book is based on things like this – things that are placed so carefully on such unstable foundations that it all comes tumbling down like a house of cards if one thing is moved. This ‘Staircase of Lies’ scene is a prime example.”
Anyone else really annoyed at Harry that he didn’t think of [the Summoning Charm]? He just learned it for the other task. Come on!
[Aimee and Eric laugh]
Noah: Are you talking about [the Summoning Charm] on the map?
Rosie: Yes.
Noah: On the stairs.
Rosie: On the map or on the egg or anything that he’s just dropped that he could have picked up to save himself.
Noah: Well, he didn’t want to make any noise.
Rosie: But what was he thinking when he was going to tap it to try [to] clear it? He must have had to say something then.
Eric: “Mischief Managed.”
Rosie: [The Summoning Charm] is a shorter spell.
Eric: Yeah. Right? He could just mumble it or something like that.
Rosie: Or just pretend to sneeze. [sneezes] Accio!
[Eric and Rosie laugh]
Noah: I think that would have been very curious. Snape wouldn’t have been able to let that go.
Eric: But well, all this talk about [a] house of cards and how things do tunble down when you invert them goes very well with last week’s Podcast Question of the Week, which I believe was from Noah, where we asked, “We have this great scene where a lot is going on: an egg ringing, Filch and his cat near the stairs, and then Snape comes in. This scene is such a mess! What would’ve happened if Moody hadn’t come to Harry’s rescue and Snape had discovered Harry on the stairs? What would have befallen Harry? How would the story have been changed from this point forward?” This was last week’s Podcast Question of the Week. We got just a couple responses that I’d like to read here. The first one is from Elvis Gaunt, who says…
Noah: That’s an interesting name. [laughs]
Eric: Right? It says that,
“Snape would have knocked fifty points off Gryffindor and/or put Harry in detention.
Little Crouch wouldn’t have got[ten] hold of the Marauder[‘]s Map. However, Voldemort would have still informed Little Crouch…”
[laughs] I like that.
“… about his father’s escape. Little Crouch’s job wouldn’t have been so easy, but he would have still managed to find his father and kill him.
The greatest loss would have been to us, the readers. We would have missed this brilliant piece of writing. We are intrigued while reading it because, as discussed in the episode, it is full of half-information. However, its impact is also felt later in the book when Little Crouch is under the Veritaserum-induced fit. We feel a lot of loose ends tying up (who was stealing potion ingredients, how was Mr. Crouch able to come to Hogwarts if he was so sick, etc. – things we would have never known, so they wouldn’t be loose ends). Also, Harry wouldn’t have mentioned Crouch to Sirius in Hogsmeade, and we wouldn’t have known that much about Crouch. And of course, it takes on [a] whole new dimension when we are reading it for a second time.
I feel the chapter ‘The Madness of Mr. Crouch’ is there in the books for a similar reason. The plot wouldn’t have changed in any way if all that action had taken place behind the scenes. Little Crouch could have simply said that he killed his father (it need not even be at Hogwarts) during his truth session. It just adds to the mystery of the book and makes Crouch’s story seem more fast[-]paced with comprehension after comprehension dawning on us.”
Noah: Oh, my. That was a very [long] reponse. And thoughtful.
Eric: That was a [long] response. I thought it was worth including because it seemed to answer the question fairly definitively, covering all aspects of what would have happened.
Rosie: I like that the plot is choosing to be detailed as well, the fact that it would have all still happened, but we’re gifted this chapter, which can seem slightly clumsy, just so that we get to know the stuff that we don’t necessarily need to know, but it does enhance the book slightly, so yeah, it works.
Eric: Yeah. Chapters like the last one… Jo Rowling herself has said that Book 4 was the most rushed. She was under the most pressure to get [it] out.
Noah: Right.
Eric: But you don’t get that because there’s still in this chapter just such an excess, such a wealth of mystery happening and added layers upon layers.
Rosie: Mhm.
Noah: I thought that the beginning of this comment from Elvis Gaunt – huba, huba – was cool, but would Snape really only knock 50 points or would it be a little bit more… would something else happen? Or would Snape have discovered the Marauder’s Map again?
Eric: Who knows, right?
Noah: Yeah.
Eric: We have another comment from Harrison who says,
“I think the story would have changed a lot. Not for this part of the book, but Harry never would have thought of an Auror job, and maybe Harry would not be so keen to fulfill the prophecy. I think that the scene on the stairs isn’t the important point – the important thing is the end as Michael read.”
Noah: Yeah, he could have been a Quidditch player.
Eric: [laughs] “I could have been a Quidditch star.”
Noah: “I could have been Minster of Magic.”
[Rosie laughs]
Eric: “I could have been a lumber jack.”
[Noah and Rosie laugh]
Eric: But actually to this comment, which was Harrison’s, Elvis Guant did weigh in, and this is a reply worthwhile here:
“Wait, it just occurred to me that if Harry did not want to be an Auror, he wouldn’t have taken up Potions in his sixth year. So we would never know about ‘Levicorpus,’ ‘Sectumsempra,’ and [the] Half-Blood Prince. Harry would not have needed to hide Snape’s old Potions textbook. So he would have never gone into the Room of Hidden Things and never have seen Ravenclaw’s Diadem. Interesting…”
Noah: Wow.
Eric: No, I believe that’s exactly the sort of answer that we look for with the answers to these Podcast Question of the Week where the whole world would end!
[Rosie laughs]
Noah: So basically if Little Crouch hadn’t transformed into Moody and had gone to this exact scene, Harry wouldn’t have been able to defeat Voldemort.
Eric: Exactly.
Aimee: So basically Barty Crouch Jr. just defeated Voldemort.
[Everyone laughs]
Noah: Yes.
Eric: Oh, Aimee, I like you. You should come on more often.
[Aimee and Rosie laugh]
Eric: Yeah, that’s pretty much what our listeners are saying.
Noah: It’s so counter everything that he’s about because that’s the last thing he would want to do.
[Aimee and Eric laugh]
Eric: Yeah. Well, I fought for years and said that he really wasn’t that bad of a guy.
[Rosie laughs]
Eric: We have one final comment from our Podcast Question of the Week from last week. It is from I.G. who says,
“Without Moody, I doubt the scene would’ve been nearly as eventful. Moody comes in just as Snape is trying to convince Filch to aid him in investigating his office’s intruder. Without the interruption, I imagine Snape and Filch would have a small back-and-forth argument about whose problem was more important, until a snide Squib comment would force Argus into submission.”
Noah: Ooh.
Eric: Yeah, that’s rough.
“Perhaps while searching Snape’s office, they would discover Moody searching, posing a whole new problem since it seems he has already searched under the premise of an Auror. If they didn’t happen upon Moody Crouch, then perhaps Filch would absentmindedly forget the egg in Snape’s stores, and the trio would have to steal it back without being caught. The simplest outcome would be that they find no evidence as to who is stealing from Snape and Filch gives the egg to Dumbledore, who asks which of the champions has lost their clue and subsequently returns it to Harry.”
Noah: Ah, yeah. Well, interesting thought that they might return and find Moody Crouch in the act.
Eric: Of stealing.
Noah: Right.
Eric: Or Dobby for that.
[Aimee and Eric laugh]
Noah: Which he does.
Eric: Yeah. But it’s nice to see that some people think that it would be okay and then others think that the whole world would end.
[Noah and Rosie laugh]
Noah: Yeah.
Eric: It’s good to get a good range of answers in our responses.
Noah: And of course we can never really know unless we dive into the realms of fan fiction.
Eric: Hmm.
Rosie: And then it can be both things. Who knows?
Eric: Plus the prefects’ bathroom.
Rosie: Yeah, there’s always going to be a scene in the prefects’ bathroom. [laughs]
Noah: All right, so now I believe it’s time for our chapter discussion, Chapter 26.
[Goblet of Fire Chapter 26 intro begins]
Harry: Chapter 26.
[Sounds of the champions jumping into the lake]
Harry: “The Second Task.”
[Goblet of Fire Chapter 26 intro ends]
Noah: So the chapter opens up with Harry recounting his adventure of the night before that we’d just been talking about to Ron and Hermione who are very excited. We’re currently in Charms class, practicing the Banishing Charm, sending things across the classroom. Neville sends Flitwick himself across the classroom – very funny. And then they begin to discuss the clue and what it could mean and how Harry could possibly survive this task coming up, and Harry says, “What about Aqua-Lungs?” Which are basically the equivalent of scuba-diving equipment because I wasn’t sure what that exactly was, but it makes sense. And Ron suggested summoning that equipment from a Muggle town to Hogwarts, which kind of blew my mind because does that mean you can summon anything, anywhere?
Eric: [laughs] I imagine it would have to be a very strong spell, like the further something is away…
Noah: Yeah.
Eric: It would have to be stronger… I’m not saying it’s out of the way… but the funny thing – or actually the sad thing – is that Ron, as Harry’s friend, is unable to get past what he did last time. You do want to try something new; odds are that you’ll have to do something new and innovative, and Harry spends a great deal of time looking for something new. But Ron is still stuck on that rod of Accio will solve all of your problems.
Noah: Yeah.
Eric: It’s not a good place to be in.
Noah: It could also be that they’re studying Banishing Charms, so Accio is in their heads.
Eric: Yeah, that’s true too. Now the funny thing… and I guess it is a bit comedic because this whole time, Ron and Hermione are sort of battling each other. They’re both giving their own ideas, but then when they turn to do their Banishing Charms, Ron keeps hitting the window and Hermione’s keep landing in the box.
Noah: Yeah.
Eric: So… but Hermione has a great rhetoric when she tells Ron. She’s like, “Well, even if that worked, you’d be arrested for breaking the Statute of Secrecy because Muggles are going to see this scuba-diving equipment.” Assuming some exist somewhere in a Muggle area, they’re going to see it flying.
Noah: Right.
Eric: I mean summoned. Which I thought was definitely a good consideration. It really rules it out, I think, definitively.
Rosie: Mhm.
Noah: Yeah, I was just blown away that she thought it was possible. So it presumably opens up for you to summon anything. I thought it was like with the Firebolt. He knew where the Firebolt was, he was familiar with it, he could have an image of it in his mind.
Rosie: I’m surprised she didn’t point out that Muggle-made things won’t work at Hogwarts.
[Aimee and Eric laugh]
Rosie: I mean, I’m sure it wouldn’t work at all. [laughs]
Eric: Well, not even a tank of… [is] it nitrogen, wouldn’t work at Hogwarts?
Rosie: Well, it might do. There’s no electricity involved, is there?
Eric: No.
Noah: Can you imagine if Harry had just showed up to the lake with a scuba diver’s equipment instead of any magic?
[Aimee and Noah laugh]
Eric: Yeah. “Wassup? [laughs] Muggle-raised right here, woo!”
Aimee: I feel like the judges would have taken off points for that. [laughs]
Noah: Yeah.
[Eric laughs]
Rosie: It’s not really showing your skills as the top wizard, is it? [laughs]
Eric: Well, I think Dumbledore would have given him full points because it’s all about international and… thru-Muggle, trans-Muggle…
[Aimee and Rosie laugh]
Eric: … cooperation, isn’t it? [laughs]
Noah: That’s true. And then Hermione offers, “Of course, the ideal solution would be for you to Transfigure yourself into a submarine or something.” And then I had to stop at that comment as well. Wait, you can Transfigure yourself into things like submarines? Does that mean people could potentially go ride in Harry and dive underwater?
[Aimee and Eric laugh]
Eric: I would not go… I would not get tickets to that ride, can I just say? Because people eventually Transfigure back, don’t they?
Noah: Do they?
Eric: I don’t know. I just wouldn’t want to be inside a Harry submarine. I wouldn’t want to do it.
[Eric and Rosie laugh]
Noah: “I’m Harry, I’m a submarine! I’ve got to beat Voldemort!”
Eric: “How cool is this…” well, it’s an inanimate object, too. This kind of goes to the root of things like Desk!Pigs, too. Submarines are not alive… [laughs] or are they?
[Noah laughs]
Eric: And where would the eyes be? Would you still have a brain to control your [system]… [there are] all [these] big questions that it raises.
Noah: Or Hermione would have to get inside and become the captain. “Turn my knobs, Hermione! Turn me…”
[Aimee and Rosie laugh]
Noah: “… so that I can… grab my wheel!” [laughs]
Eric: Yeah. But she’s not going to be available, which is a real shame…
Noah: Right.
Eric: … if he had pursued that line of magic, which they apparently don’t learn until the sixth year. Hmm. That makes me not be able to wait until the sixth book comes out…
[Rosie laughs]
Eric: … so I can read about human transfiguration. [laughs] Jo is leading us on here.
Noah: Right, but these… like you said, Eric, I didn’t know that you could transform yourself into inanimate objects and then presumably still be living enough to hopefully transform yourself back.
Eric: I think it adds an important element.
Rosie: But we see someone do human transfiguration. Not into an inanimate object, but into another animal.
Eric: Right.
Rosie: And, interestingly, it’s Krum [who] does that. So has Hermione been giving ideas to other people?
[Aimee laughs]
Eric: Oh! Now that’s interesting.
Rosie: [laughs] I don’t believe she was, but…
Eric: No, he’s got enough help with Karkaroff on his side.
Rosie: Yeah. But it’s quite interesting that they do think in a similar way.
Eric: Well, it’s odd because, really, in this chapter, Harry comes down to not only the wire, but it’s ten minutes before the [Second Task], and he has found nothing and… I think he really gave it the old college try.
Noah: He did.
Eric: They were in the Restricted Section for hours. They were in the library for days and days and days…
Rosie: Mhm.
Eric: … and they couldn’t find anything. So the fact that all four champions do actually end up using something that is different, no two do the exact same thing…
Noah: Well, actually that’s not true. Fleur and Cedric both use the bubble.
Eric: Oh, they both use the bubble?
Noah: Yeah.
Eric: Oh, I forgot about that. Still, so they manage to do three different things, whereas Harry couldn’t even find one, [which] is still better than we could hope for because they could have all done Gillyweed.
Rosie: It does seem like a particularly hard task, solving that clue.
Noah: Yeah. And to your comment, Rosie, I think there were probably some conversations with Krum and Hermione, or interactions in this chapter. Because a lot of time passes, and we don’t necessarily know. Maybe Hermione did inspire Krum. But personally, I think Karkaroff told Krum what to do in each task.
Aimee: If Krum figured it out before Harry, do you think he would tell… did he tell Hermione, who could have told Harry anything before Harry figured it out?
Rosie: Hmm.
Eric: Hmm. [It] depends on how close Krum and Hermione are these days.
[Aimee and Rosie laugh]
Rosie: Maybe that’s why she was so desperate for Harry to solve the egg, so she could finally say something. [laughs]
Eric: Maybe.
Aimee: [laughs] If that was true, Hermione needed to just be like, “You’re my friend, I’m going to cheat.”
[Rosie laughs]
Eric: Yeah. “It’s fun, isn’t it, breaking the rules?”
[Noah and Rosie laugh]
Noah: She’s… well, I have some thoughts about Krum and Hermione that I’ll bring up a little later in the chapter discussion, but…
Eric: Okay.
Noah: … back to the notes. Harry sends a message to Sirius, and then he gets a quick… he gets a message back, telling him to meet… actually, no, there’s no reference to a meeting, but Sirius wants to know when Harry is going to be in Hogsmeade. Of course, we know – having read the books, and hopefully many times – that Sirius is going to meet them…
Eric: Mhm.
Noah: … in Hogsmeade. But it’s just such a quick reply, I couldn’t help but think: wouldn’t life be easier if, instead of owls, Harry and Sirius just had texting or Snapchat?
[Eric and Rosie laugh]
Eric: I wouldn’t be Sirius’s Snapchat friend. I wouldn’t. I like the guy, but I wouldn’t do it.
Noah: No?
Eric: No, it’d be like, “Just ate a rat. Thought of you.” I don’t want it.
[Noah and Rosie laugh]
Eric: I don’t want it.
Noah: “Look at me, I’m a dog. Look at my dog face.”
Eric: This is why you don’t Facebook-friend your family. It just… there’s a rule that you don’t Snapchat your godfather.
Noah: Yeah. I just put that in there because I’ve been getting really into Snapchat. I don’t know about everybody else.
Eric: Really into it, huh?
Noah: I mean, not that into it, but… [laughs]
Eric: Oh, okay. Well, I think though that it’s interesting… I mean, he uses the same owl, which he’s not supposed to do.
Noah: Right.
Eric: Because the owl just kind of sits and waits for him to scribble back. And Harry kind of regrets that he didn’t add a postscript to just say, “P.S. How do I breathe underwater?”
Noah: Yeah.
Eric: I think we find out a little later on… Sirius is like, “Oh yeah, Gillyweed was great! Great idea there!” But we find a situation of Harry becoming even more desperate.
Noah: I mean, I think it’s fair to say that Gillyweed was probably the best tool to use in that situation.
Eric: It was amazing. And it’s good that Dobby eavesdrops on Hogwarts professors, otherwise it never would have happened.
Rosie: I still think it’s vaguely unbelievable considering Harry has never had a swimming lesson in his life.
[Aimee and Eric laugh]
Rosie: Sure, whatever. [laughs]
Eric: Had he not ever had a swimming lesson?
Rosie: Not according to the last chapter when he was in the bath.
Noah: That’s true.
Eric: Hmm, right.
Noah: But he becomes a half-fish of some kind.
Eric: Yeah, it’s natural.
Rosie: Does that mean you’re going to be able to properly swim?
Eric: I think that it’s… like anything though, like flying in the air, it’s propelling yourself, forward momentum. The basic rules are the same, whether you’re on land, in the water…
Rosie: That’s true.
Eric: I mean, in the water you have to come up for breath, but if you remove that, it’s kind of just like being in the air or just like being anywhere else.
Rosie: I guess the most of learning to swim for humans is just learning not to drown, so I guess it works. [laughs]
Eric: Well, that’s a good point.
Noah: But let’s not get ahead of ourselves too quickly because we’re not at that scene yet.
Eric: Okay.
Noah: Page 44, Hagrid comes back to Care of Magical Creatures class.
Eric: Yay! [laughs]
Noah: Yes. Despite what you might think, Eric, the students don’t cheer for him like in the end of the Chamber of Secrets movie.
Eric: “It’s not Care of Magical Creatures without you, Hagrid.”
[Aimee and Noah laugh]
Noah: “I love magic.” [laughs]
Eric: [laughs] Yeah.
Noah: He comes back and he grudgingly continues the unicorn lesson, which Parvati and Lavender love, and they kind of squeal like girly-girls, which does not mean that they’re not also strong female characters. I just wanted to make note of the fact that they do love the unicorns.
Eric: He has babies! He has two babies!
Noah: Baby unicorns. My bad. [laughs]
Eric: They’re golden! They’re not even silver, they’re golden! They’re little baby unicorns, oh my God!
Noah: Bring me back the Flobberworms.
[Noah and Rosie laugh]
Eric: Yeah. It’s great, Hagrid seems to have possibly learned a lesson. As Harry mentions, he knows a lot about them! I think there’s a line that he’s disappointed they don’t have poisonous fangs, but it really shows that Hagrid does know his subject matter, and there’s kind of hope there that it’ll turn out to be that Grubbly-Plank’s existence there will turn out for the best.
Aimee: I always wondered if Harry had continued taking Care of Magical Creatures after his fifth year would Hagrid have eventually gotten to teach more creatures like this, because there [are] only so many dangerous creatures that he can actually teach. Or would he just never think of it?
Noah: You mean would he switch to nicer creatures?
Aimee: Like at some point, would he eventually teach them nicer creatures? Just because he has to at some point.
Noah: I don’t know, I don’t think so. As we’re saying, Hagrid didn’t like them because they [didn’t have] fangs. And if he’s working with higher level students, I think he would use that opportunity to bring in higher level beasts whenever he could.
Eric: Well, I would just think if he runs out of dangerous beasts he’ll just breed dangerous beasts like the [Blast-Ended] Screwts.
[Aimee and Eric laugh]
Rosie: Or just do a longer project on one of them.
Eric: Yeah. But… what was the other thing I was going to say about the baby unicorns? Oh yes, I thought it was funny that they don’t reject men as openly as the older unicorns.
Noah: I did notice that.
Rosie: They’re less cynical. [laughs]
Eric: They don’t know any better. They don’t know how icky boys really are just yet.
Noah: They better watch out.
Eric: Perhaps that’s something they learn and experience throughout life. But yeah, I don’t know.
Rosie: It’s interesting that even Hermione likes unicorns and we hear her next book say that she doesn’t particularly like horses.
Eric: [laughs] Yeah, that’s a good point.
Rosie: So unicorns are special. [laughs]
Eric: Oh.
Noah: Yes. Yes, they are. Not… I personally am not a fan unless they have goat features, but…
[Rosie laughs]
Noah: Anyway, kind of an aside, do you guys think that… and all this talk of Hagrid, especially from last episode as being a half-breed himself…
Eric: Hmm.
Noah: Does that fuel his creating these half-breeds of creatures because he is himself a half-breed and therefore finds some beauty in mixed species creatures? Go! What do you think?
Rosie: I think possibly influencing the love of misunderstood creatures…
[Eric laughs]
Rosie: … because he’s misunderstood himself, but I’m not necessarily sure about the half-breeding-ness.
Eric: Yeah, it’s like apples to oranges. Like a half-bred dragon and cow would be a little different than a half-bred salamander and alligator, so…
Noah: Those would be very different.
Eric: They would be very different.
Noah: Yeah.
Eric: And even though they’re half-breeds, it doesn’t bring them together. But I think too, being misunderstood, being the odd one out does endear him to some extent for those creatures, but he’s very luckily… or sorry, Hagrid is very lucky that he doesn’t get his head bit off or even the baby dragon, even having Norbert, that he doesn’t get burned and he doesn’t get…
Noah: Norberta.
Eric: Norberta, sorry.
[Noah laughs]
Eric: It’s not there yet. It’s not there yet, Noah! Canon. But he is very lucky because he plays with things. He does equate his own story and he does project his own story upon these sorts of creatures, which it is a miracle that nobody really dies because of him.
Noah: Yeah, just a couple of choice wounds. Draco, will get hurt occasionally, but for the most part, Harry and Hermione and Ron clean up after Hagrid on many occasions.
Eric: Mhm.
Noah: So also in the scene that I thought was interesting, Hagrid looks at Harry with eyes welling up with pride saying, [as Hagrid] “You’ve got the clue figured out, haven’t ya, Harry? I know you could do it!” [back to normal voice] And Harry just, he says, “Yeah, I’ve got it completely covered,” because he really doesn’t want to let Hagrid down. This happened in the last chapter and it happens in this chapter again. There’s a line that says, “Harry imagined seeing Hagrid’s crestfallen, disbelieving face if Harry was to appear at the Second Task unprepared,” and that just crushes him. So he feels bad. He won’t even ask Hagrid for help. So I guess I want to ask you guys, why does he do that? Is it just pride? Or does… I feel like he treats Hagrid a little differently, almost like a child. He doesn’t want to make Hagrid upset. Maybe because Hagrid’s so fragile after this – what happened.
Eric: Well, that’s like you don’t want to let a parent down either.
Rosie: Yeah, I was thinking that. More like father figure than a child.
Eric: Yeah.
Noah: Okay.
Aimee: It’s like someone believes in you so much, you just can’t bring yourself to tell them that you messed up or something.
Rosie: Yeah. Exactly.
Eric: Of course there’s somebody snow blowing outside my window. I terribly apologize.
[Rosie laughs]
Eric: I do want to say about that… what was I going to say? Doesn’t Harry wonder if Hagrid takes care of the creatures in the lake as well as the creatures aboveground.
Noah: He does. Yeah, there’s a line there somewhere in the book. So it makes you think that maybe Hagrid would have been able to give Harry some great advice.
Eric: Mhm.
Rosie: Yeah, how does Hagrid… does he go into the lake to go and see them? Or do they all come to the surface to see Hagrid?
Eric: [laughs] I can just see them all lining up to see Hagrid.
[Rosie laughs]
Eric: Like… what’s the… “The Wizard and the Hopping Pot,” where they’re all lined up outside his door to get magical cures, that they all just, “Dr. Hagrid is coming!”
[Rosie laughs]
Eric: And you’ve just got to line up and show me your ailments.
Rosie: He’s a Thursday clinic. [laughs]
Rosie: And he’s checking under flippers and just under…
Noah: The tentacles on the Giant Squid.
[Rosie laughs]
Eric: Yes! Yes.
Noah: Making sure that they are pulsating correctly.
[Rosie laughs]
Noah: And then we go to the library and it’s a marathon read, Eric, you were saying. Harry goes straight to the books and he’s pretty diligent about it. And they go through a lot of titles just like with the First Task. And Hermione actually gets really upset because this is the first time, apparently, that the library has failed her. But really, Hermione? I feel like the library has failed them over and over again.
[Rosie laughs]
Eric: [as Hermione] Well, she had them looking in the wrong section!
[Rosie laughs]
Noah: [as Hermione] How could I be so stupid? [laughs]
Rosie: It’s funny because in the first book, the book that they need she’s taken out for light reading ages ago. It’s been in her room the whole time. This time, the book they need has been in Harry’s room the whole time.
Noah: Ahh.
[Eric laughs]
Rosie: Because Neville has it.
Eric: So the moral of this story is you don’t need to go to the library, kids.
Rosie: Just check your own bedrooms. [laughs]
Eric: Check your own bedrooms for those little books with the golden spines. Those will tell you everything you need to know.
Noah: Yeah. That was movie canon, though, right, Rosie? Neville doesn’t have any involvement with the Gillyweed stuff in this book. Or does he?
Rosie: He still has the book.
Noah: Oh…
Rosie: I’m fairly sure Moody always gives Neville the book. It’s just that Dobby helps him…
Noah: Okay.
Rosie: … find Gillyweed.
Noah: Okay.
Rosie: Because he hasn’t found Neville’s book.
Eric: Right. And I thought that was a fair scene in the movie when he’s in the library and just doesn’t know anything and he’s like, “Well, unless you have something that’ll turn me into a fish,” or something and Neville’s like, “Oh gosh, okay. Yeah, well, Gillyweed will do that.”
Rosie: Yeah. It’s one way of getting around the fact that they can’t afford to…
Eric: Put Dobby on the screen.
Rosie: [laughs] … do Dobby again.
Eric: Yeah, but I mean, I thought it was very plausible…
Rosie: Yeah, definitely.
Eric: … and still done in such a way with the right… that’s one of the adaptations that I don’t mind.
Noah: Are you complimenting the fourth movie right now?
Eric: I’m sorry. Yeah! I am.
[Noah and Rosie laugh]
Eric: I like the fourth book. I can’t believe What Are You Doing, Movie? those people really hate the fourth movie so much.
Rosie: There’s just so much in this book. There is no way you could make it into a proper movie with everything still in it.
Noah: Yeah, but [as Dumbledore] “Did you put your name in that Goblet of Fire?” [laughs]
Rosie: [laughs] Yes, that scene could change.
Eric: It’s easy to pick on Gambon. Haha, let’s do it. It’s fun.
Noah: Yeah. We do it overmuch. But back to the library, in one of the books there was one line read, “Take two pints of water, half a pound of shredded mandrake leaves,” and that, of course, made me stop, because mention of Mandrake.
[Rosie laughs]
Noah: And this is just some random book and this is another potion, presumably, that Mandrake parts are used for. So a little off topic, but I love Mandrakes. Just how many potions out there utilize Mandrakes?
[Aimee laughs]
Rosie: You would be surprised.
[Eric laughs]
Rosie: Seriously.
Noah: Has anyone read a book of potions? Like potion ingredients?
Rosie: My thesis was on medieval medicine…
Noah: Mhm.
Rosie: … in the end, and yeah, Mandrakes used quite a lot considering they’re only found in a very small area. A lot of things that are claiming to be Mandrakes actually aren’t Mandrakes.
Eric: Hmm.
Rosie: So the name Mandrake can be used for lots of different things. So it’s not always screaming little baby roots. Sometimes it’s just apples. [laughs]
[Eric laughs]
Noah: In the context of these books, though…
Rosie: Yes.
Noah: … Mandrakes are probably the same thing.
Rosie: This one, lots of Mandrakes being used in lots of different things.
Eric: I’m wondering if it’s always in a restorative fashion, because just like the Draught that restores people that Mandrakes are used in that way?
Noah: Yeah.
Rosie: Often it’s used as a sedative…
Eric: Ooh!
Rosie: … or an anesthetic as well.
Eric: Okay.
Noah: Well, you know what, Eric? Nobody talks about restoring the Mandrakes, just chopping them up.
[Aimee laughs]
Eric: Yeah, they taste good, like chicken.
[Rosie laughs]
Noah: Whoa! Whoa! You might get some angry tweets from the Mandrake Liberation Front. [laughs]
Eric: [laughs] Oh, will I? Will I? Hmm.
Noah: You may.
Eric: Good thing I don’t know that person personally…
[Rosie laughs]
Eric: … who runs that account.
Noah: Well…
Eric: I’ll never be able to smooth it over. It will be a blood feud for years.
[Rosie laughs]
Noah: Mysteriously, Ron and Hermione are called by – I believe it’s Fred in the books – to go see Professor McGonagall?
Eric: [laughs] Yeah.
Noah: I don’t know why it was Fred. It was random. She just needed somebody to do it.
Eric: You realize they’ve just come from her office or something…
[Aimee laughs]
Eric: … for being in trouble.
Noah: Yeah.
Rosie: [laughs] Probably.
Noah: No, they’re concerned that they just helped Harry. Little do they know that they’re being told that they have to go down to the depths of the sea and just lay there comatose for several hours, but that’s probably what’s going on. And Harry decides to stay in the library, and well, eventually Madame Pince pushes him out. He has to bring some books back to the common room but then he decides, “You know what? I’ve got to go back to the library and get this done.” So he does and he swiftly falls into sleep and he has a very interesting dream about a mermaid who has stolen his Firebolt and is just holding it over him and poking him in the side.
[Eric laughs]
Noah: And I just thought this was funny. It’s a very short dream. And I was like, “Oh, it’s his Firebolt. Is she taking his manhood or something?” I don’t know. That’s definitely a stretch, but…
Eric: I think he’s feeling inferior…
Noah: Yeah.
Eric: … castrated in a way, that sort of thing.
Noah: Yeah. That’s what I was going for.
Eric: And it has to do with motion again. He has to swim and his broom is how he flies and it’s his preferred method of motion and he’s not able to use it. So it’s like being without his broom. He’s without his broom for this task. It won’t save him like it did the first time.
Noah: Yes.
Eric: Harry has the best dreams.
[Rosie laughs]
Noah: Yeah. And so then, the mermaid poking Harry turns into Dobby poking Harry.
[Eric and Rosie laugh]
Noah: It’s a very jolting transition from the fairly attractive mermaid to Dobby. [as Dobby] “Harry must wake, sir.” [laughs]
Eric: Yeah, well, see, Dobby is… that’s a funny image, Dobby as a merman.
[Rosie laughs]
Noah: Ooh, that’s an interesting image.
Eric: Well, I just think that really, the mermaids are quite ugly in the film, those sorts of mermaids. I really wonder how if… they’re really meant to be, if it’s like they are in the movie or if it’s more like the painting… or sorry, the stained glass of the mermaid where it’s more human-like, less creature-ish.
Rosie: Hmm.
Noah: Well, I mean, I thought the movie actually did the mermaids pretty well…
Eric: Mhm.
Noah: … based on the description.
Eric: I mean, you get, though, in this chapter, though, and you see houses and paintings and they have… one of them has a pet Grindylow tied up outside his house…
Noah: Yeah.
Eric: … and you’re just like, these are like people, but they’re under water.
Noah: Oh yeah, they’re totally people. They have their own culture. I’m going to read a little note about that very shortly.
Eric: Oh yeah, I know, but it’s interesting.
Noah: So Dobby, just a stroke of luck for Harry, which in the course of many different strokes of luck throughout these entire books, Dobby just happens to hand Harry Gillyweed. Says, “Go. I heard McGongagall and Moody talking about Gillyweed.” And I’m assuming that Moody knew that Dobby was there and therefore, was talking about it so that Dobby would hear and help Harry?
Rosie: Yeah. He said so later on…
Noah: Yeah.
Rosie: … in the Veritaserum scene. He says that he deliberately set all of that up and called Dobby to, I think, clean the fire and then staged a conversation with McGonagall…
Noah: Ah!
Rosie: … because he knew that Dobby would help.
Noah: But how did he know that Dobby would help? How much of the Dobby Harry story does he know?
Rosie: I’m trying to remember what he said was the excuse. I think it was something like he saw the socks or something that Dobby was wearing, or saw Dobby’s decorations, or…
Noah: Ah.
Rosie: … there was some clue that he saw…
Eric: Barty Crouch is just on point, man!
Rosie: He really is. [laughs]
Eric: He is so on point. He is the best teacher that Harry has ever had.
Noah: Yeah.
Rosie: And he’s a Death Eater. [laughs]
Aimee: Side note. That doesn’t matter.
Eric: [laughs] If people only cared as much about him as they do about the actor who played him as the Doctor. I feel like we’d have a lot of pro-Barty Crouch Jr. clubs out there.
Noah: If not for Barty Crouch Jr., then Voldemort wouldn’t have…
Eric: [laughs] I think Voldemort does have fan clubs, though. So I don’t know. I love how Jo was… this is way off topic, but Jo was horrified, she wrote, when she found out that people call Voldemort “Voldy.”
[Rosie laughs]
Noah: Really?
Eric: Like as a term of endearment. Voldy this, Voldy that. Because he’s supposed to be the most supreme evil villain ever.
Rosie: Voldyshorts, yep.
Eric: Voldyshorts, yeah.
[Rosie laughs]
Noah: Moldy Voldy, moldy Voldy.
Rosie: But it’s the whole laughing at the face of danger thing, isn’t it?
Eric: Yeah!
Rosie: It’s like, “We’re all scared of him still, but we don’t mind mocking him.”
[Eric and Rosie laugh]
Noah: I’m not scared of Voldemort.
[Rosie laughs]
Eric: [as Voldemort] You will be!
[Everyone laughs]
Noah: You will be. On page 492, Harry runs to the lake in a fury and he nearly misses it. He gets there right in time. But as he’s coming down the stairs, the students of Hogwarts stare as Harry flashes past and he sends “Colin and Denis Creevey flying, as he leapt down the stone steps.” That’s an exact quote. And I was a little confused there. What is he… what does Jo mean by that? Did he… are they flying after him to take a picture? Or is he knocking them down on the stairs or something?
Rosie: He’s knocking them down. Do you guys not have that expression?
[Eric laughs]
Rosie: To send someone flying literally means just to knock them over.
Noah: I wasn’t sure about that. Okay.
Eric: Well, what aren’t they doing down at the task? Aren’t they his biggest fans? I mean, at least, what happened between year two and year four that they are just… they don’t care to go visit the Second Task? They’re just somewhere else in the school.
Noah: I think they realize by this point that Harry just doesn’t like them.
Rosie: Aww.
Aimee: Maybe they went to find him.
Eric: Yeah. Aww.
Noah: And instead, they get…
Rosie: They’re probably just waiting on the stairs to get pictures of him on the way.
Eric: Mhm, yeah, that would be cool.
Rosie: Action shot. [laughs]
Noah: I can just imagine their conversation. “I can’t wait to see Harry in the Task! He’s going to do so well!” “I know.” Splat.
[Noah and Rosie laugh]
Eric: “What was that?” “That was Harry.” “You missed it!” “No!”
Rosie: Then it’s just, “Oh, I got knocked over by Harry Potter! I’m so…”
Noah: “I got knocked over by Harry Potter!”
[Everyone laughs]
Rosie: “That’s so cool!”
Eric: “Let’s take pictures of ourselves.”
[Rosie laughs]
Aimee: For Snapchat. Because the Wizarding world has Snapchat now.
Eric: Yes.
Rosie: Yeah.
Noah: Well, they should.
[Rosie laughs]
Noah: And then, finally, Harry enters the lake alongside Fleur and Krum and Cedric, not before little Bagman comes over and just says, “You all right, Harry?” Because of course, he’s got a lot riding on Harry from what I remember. Harry enters the lake, eats the Gillyweed, and then there’s a strange image to talk about, how he’s gaining gills. It says that, “An invisible pillow has been pressed over his mouth and nose.” Now, that’s a cool, poetic image, but it’s weirdly morbid because it reminds me of someone using a pillow to… you know what I mean?
Eric: Yeah, pillow as in it was a gradual thing, like a soft blanket. He can no longer use his mouth and nose, but it’s not like being choked.
Noah: Right. It’s a bit softer.
Eric: Just this whole transition how he’s changing, but he… there’s something in the back of his mind that instinctively knows what to do once he examines himself, that he swallows water and then he all of a sudden is rewarded and feels great because the oxygen can go back to his brain. It’s got… I mean, it’s just one of those transformations that happens in the series where you’re just like, “Man, I wish I could experience that. That’d be cool!” If you’ve ever had a dream that you could breathe underwater, it’s much the same thing. It’s just like, wow, that really opens up whole new possibilities.
Noah: I thought the description was really great, just the entire transformation because he really does become a fish man in this sequence.
Eric: Mhm.
Noah: Which is different from what we’ve… we don’t get Harry transforming into a lot of different things in the books. This is probably the only time that it happens, from what I believe.
Eric: I think he gets transfigured… he actually transforms into a brat in the next book.
[Eric and Rosie laugh]
Noah: Oh! But that’s a bit more gradual.
Eric: Yeah.
Noah: This is quite fast. So here’s a question – Aimee, feel free to join in on this – how does the transformation exactly work? Just speculate because, of course, there’s little we know about Gillyweed. It seems to enter the digestion, and then the body transforms. How do you believe this works?
Rosie: I guess it’s kind of like a naturally occurring potion. It does a similar thing to Polyjuice but within its own natural qualities.
Noah: Right. And that would be another transformation then that Harry’s done as well.
Rosie: Yeah.
Eric: I had a thought where how long and long, long time ago we all were in the ocean and all that stuff, maybe had gills. What if it unlocks that little region of DNA that was…
Noah: Oh!
Eric: … so locked within us from before and…
Rosie: Science!
Aimee: That would be so cool!
Eric: … rapidly… if the human genome is still carrying around little junk, stuff we don’t use anymore from when we used to be breathing underwater…
Noah: Yeah.
Eric: … and it just unlocks it and makes it real again rapidly.
Rosie: You reckon there’s a Tailweed where you can all get monkey features and things as well?
[Aimee laughs]
Noah: Yeah.
Eric: Yes, exactly.
Rosie: Different stages of evolution.
Eric: Exactly. Well, we’ve actually… Monkeyweed would be… I love that.
[Eric and Noah laugh]
Eric: Monkeyweed would be even more recent in history, in evolution…
Rosie: Yeah.
Eric: … than the water-dwelling that Gillyweed would bring out. Yeah. Just something like that. But it’s weird because it’s rapid, and it just… and it’s gone quickly as well.
Rosie: Yeah.
Eric: … as we find out, that it’s so short lasting. It’s one of those really cool substances that Harry comes into contact with and you wonder, why was it invented? Why does it work? All that stuff is all a good question.
Noah: Why doesn’t Voldemort use Gillyweed to swim underwater?
Eric: Yeah, why didn’t he put his Horcrux at the bottom of the ocean? Nobody would ever find it there.
Noah: [laughs] Right.
Aimee: I wonder if it wears off so quickly, does your body fight it or something? Because it knows you’re not supposed to have gills or…
Eric: Hmm.
Aimee: … does it only last for so long?
[Eric laughs]
Noah: Ahh. Like a virus.
Aimee: Yeah.
Noah: Like a fishy virus.
Rosie: Hmm. [laughs]
Eric: That’s actually a really good question. And really my thing is, I just worry I can’t swim underwater, I can swim just fine but I can’t go more than five feet. My ears hurt. I don’t really know what happens. I can’t go too deep, and so there’s also that symptom or, sorry, the bends, where humans, even if they’re scuba diving, if you go down deep enough, you can’t come back up…
Rosie: Yeah, it’s the pressure on your lungs.
Eric: … in a quick amount of time, it has to do with the nitrogen or the oxygen in your blood.
Rosie: Mhm.
Noah: Ahh.
Aimee: And it makes bubbles.
Eric: And it will kill you. So I’m just wondering if in Harry’s transformation he was able to avoid that. Obviously he’s able to avoid it, but I don’t quite know enough about that works to say one way or the other, except to say that he does, successfully avoid it with this potion. It’s really good and it’s more beneficial than Aqua-Lungs would have been because he seems to go down pretty far.
Noah: He does.
Eric: At least in the beginning when he’s exploring.
Noah: He does and he encounters quite many aquatic creatures. First, the grindylows, which we will later know that Fleur will not get past, that Lupin originally taught them about and he has this comical fight with them, where he kicks one in the face and he also uses his wand and finds that it works differently, the Relashio spell, and when he leaves, they shake their fists at Harry, which I thought was kind of funny.
[Eric, Noah, and Rosie laugh]
Eric: “We’ll get you yet, Potter.”
Noah: [laughs] Yeah.
Aimee: I don’t understand how a grindylow could stop Fleur. I don’t know. They’re not classified super highly in Fantastic Beasts, and Harry seems to deal with them easily and it was a third year thing.
Noah: I think I’m just going to go out on a limb and say that Fleur’s not a strong woman.
[Aimee and Noah laugh]
Eric: Oh, wow. That’s definitely… how about she just didn’t have Professor Lupin as her teacher?
[Noah laughs]
Rosie: Yeah.
Noah: Or that.
Rosie: [laughs] Maybe grindylows don’t occur in France so she didn’t know what they were.
Aimee: Oh.
Eric: I think Fleur let it get to her head, this is really what it’s all about is that I think the frustration of losing her sister, the fear of it, and the fact that these conditions, [as Fleur] “I can’t work under these conditions!”
[Noah laughs]
Eric: The fact that the grindylows are just so darn ugly and they’re…
[Aimee laughs]
Rosie: Do the others actually know what’s been taken, though? Harry knows that Ron’s been taken because Dobby told him, but no one else…
Noah: Dobby told him.
Eric: I think they should know what they’re going… well, in the movie I think it’s told to them, but I think…
Rosie: I think they’re told that something has been taken, but I’m not entirely sure that they know what.
Eric: But when you’re hunting, it makes sense that you’dd know what you’re looking for because it could be your favorite broomstick or it… “Oh, congratulations, you found your broomstick, which we placed down there, but you forgot your brother.”
[Rosie laughs]
Eric: “And he died. Sorry.” [laughs] Yeah, I think they would have had to be told specifically, right before the competition, but because Harry wasn’t by the judges in the book, I guess it really is a question that we don’t know the answer to? Yeah, so I think that really just the ugliness of the grindylows, the fact that she just broke obviously, but she’s like, “I shouldn’t be in this situation. These creatures are just uglier and nastier than they have a right to be. These shouldn’t exist.” And I think she just really just broke down and that’s… it’s not the grindylows overpowered her, but her own fears and her dislike of her situation got the best of her. It’s all in her head. She had… her head screwed her out of participating.
Rosie: I think the movie actually shows that scene really well as well, where she’s swimming through the seaweed or whatever it is, not seaweed because it’s a lake, but whatever.
[Eric laughs]
Rosie: And they just swarm her and suddenly attack. I think… yeah. One grindylow on its own, probably not a problem. But a whole swarm of them? Dangerous.
Noah: All right, so based on that conversation, I’m willing to take back what I said. Perhaps Myrtle is a strong woman.
[Aimee laughs]
Eric: Myrtle?
Noah: Not Myrtle. My bad. [laughs] Fleur.
[Eric laughs]
Noah: Myrtle’s not strong; she’s dead.
Eric: [laughs] You’ve just mentioned that, and of course we do see Myrtle – and she’s dead – but she says she doesn’t like the mermaids because they chase her whenever she gets too close to see anything.
Noah: Which is pretty funny.
Eric: What does chasing her have anything to do with…
Rosie: They would go right through her.[laughs]
Eric: … repelling her? Oh, you’re not supposed to say that, Rosie. [laughs]
Rosie: Sorry.
Eric: You’re not supposed to say, “Wouldn’t they just go straight through you, Myrtle?” But it’s kind of like that, isn’t that?
Rosie: Ten points if you go through her head!
Eric: Ahh!
[Rosie laughs]
Noah: Is this Myrtle’s life? Because we learn in the last chapter that when she occasionally does go in the sea, it’s because someone’s flushed when she’s in the U-bend, so she goes out with the other crap of Hogwarts and just…
Eric: Oh, God. [laughs] That also shouldn’t affect her, but okay, whatever.
[Rosie laughs]
Noah: Yeah.
Eric: It’s…
Rosie: Ghost physics.
Eric: Yeah.
Noah: Ghost physics. It’s true, which operates differently from our physics.
Rosie: It does.
Noah: But yeah, she just ends up in the lake and then merpeople chase her. She lives a desperate life, existence.
Rosie: Poor Myrtle.
Eric: She’s not wanted down there, she’s not wanted up at Hogwarts. [sighs]
Noah: No. But, in any case, she pops up, she just happens to be hanging out, and points Harry in the right direction. Another great, lucky thing for Harry, that especially in this book seem to just come one after another like dominoes. And then we get towards the merpeople. And before we start with the merpeople, I just want to read a little bit from the Wiki:
“Merpeople are sentient beasts that live underwater and are found all over the world. Their customs and habits are mysterious, and like the centaurs were offered the ‘being’ status but refused in favor of ‘beast,’ as they didn’t want to be placed in a status with hags and vampires. Merpeople can breathe above the waves for a time, but it is unclear if they can ever truly leave their habitat. The merpeople date back to Ancient Greece, where they were first known as ‘sirens.’ By the modern era, however, merpeople have spread worldwide. The history of merpeople’s relations with wizardkind, or at least the wizarding British government, are somewhat rocky. Chief Elfrida Clagg refused to accept merpeople as beings under her definition of the term as those who could ‘speak the human tongue,’ with Mermish not being considered adequate as it could not be understood above water. This decision upset both the merpeople and their allies, the centaurs. Though they were allowed being status under Minister Grogan Stump revised 1811…”
Yadda, yadda. So it’s clear that they’ve had interactions with humans in the past, but it’s not so great. It’s like centaurs; they exist separately. But I’m curious about the merpeople of Hogwarts specifically because they’ve really grown up with Hogwarts students and professors. We know that they’re on good terms with Dumbledore at least.
Eric: They have to be on good terms with Dumbledore because they never would have agreed to have their homeland invaded for a task, which is rough.
Noah: Right.
Rosie: Yeah.
Eric: But I really don’t think they do interact with students as much, just the way they react when Harry draws his wand with fear.
Noah: Right, which I bring up later. Why do they do that? Have they had wizards and witches terrorizing them before with magic?
Eric: Yeah. It has to be. And it has to be that self-defense preservation. Once he pulls… pulling out his wand almost breaks a rule because he… they’re trying to guide him and say, “You’re only supposed to take one.”
Noah: Right.
Eric: But when he pulls out his wand, he really does break their… there’s some sort of agreement that has been breached, it feels like.
Rosie: Mhm.
Eric: Because he is more powerful than them. As a species, he’s more powerful.
Noah: Yeah.
Eric: And they really only have their few advantages – we can’t breathe underwater – for why they haven’t been decimated and run out by us.
Noah: Yeah. it’s perfectly possible that in order for Dumbledore to have the lake as a location for a challenge, he had to discuss with the merpeople that magic won’t be used, or we won’t harm any merpeople.
Eric: But that goes to an overall theme, I think, for this chapter, which is that I really don’t think a lot of these rules were made clear.
Noah: Yeah.
Eric: It makes sense that Harry uses his wand to cut ropes and that sort of thing. They didn’t tell him he couldn’t take his wand in the lake. But they also didn’t tell him you couldn’t shoot the merpeople and that sort of thing.
Aimee: I wonder if the merpeople feel uncomfortable around magic specifically at a school because these are kids who might not know how to use all of their magic properly. They’re teenagers, so…
[Aimee and Eric laugh]
Noah: Yeah.
Eric: It’s like Ron Weasley with this broken wand underwater.
Aimee: Yeah.
Noah: He can do real damage.
Eric: Yeah.
Rosie: Do you recognize lots of rules that Harry missed because he was late? The others got told before the task?
Eric and Noah: Oh.
Eric: That’s true.
Noah: Why couldn’t they have told him the rules?
Eric: Well, if they’re that afraid, why do they live so close to the school, though, too? Because I’m sure there’s more secluded places.
Rosie: They live fairly deep in the lake…
Eric: Mmm.
Rosie: … in a place that wouldn’t be disturbed by regular students.
Eric: That’s true.
Noah: Not disturbed by students but disturbed by the Giant Squid because Harry discovers cave… not cave paintings, but paintings on rocks with merpeople with spears chasing the Giant Squid.
Rosie: That’s true. Poor Squid.
Eric: Yeah, success stories. [laughs]
Noah: Well, that’s true. But yeah, there are lots of different little indications of their society. When Harry looks around he sees – of course we mentioned before – the grindylow on a string just as a pet. So they have full-bodied lives of some kind. But then Harry stumbles upon the hostages attached to a gigantic merperson statue and it’s surrounded by merpeople with spears. And this really reminded me of Indiana Jones or a scene where the natives have captured the hostages; they happen to be the damsel plus a comedic character, in this case Ron, and the hero must go in and get them from the hostages – I mean, from the natives – but these merpeople seem pretty… they’re sentient. They’re probably as smart as the centaurs in some regard, even though they are philosophers. But what do you think of the statue? Is this just a governmental thing or is it a religious idol? I mean the big idol that they’re strapped to.
Rosie: Could just be art. [laughs]
Noah: It could be art.
Rosie: Doesn’t necessarily have to be government or religion. If you think about culture – our culture in general – we don’t just have giant things for buildings or… we like to have something that represents us in a way, whether it’s buildings or statues or artworks or anything like that, so why can’t they have the same thing? They’ve only got a little area, so they build a big statue in it.
Noah: That’s true. I guess I was looking at them as this quasi-natives culture…
Rosie: Yeah.
Noah: … that is sometimes associated with a different kind of society or different gods or so-and-so. But there’s no evidence for that, so… just going off of my intuition.
[Rosie laughs]
Noah: But Harry does stumble on hostages. He sees exactly what he’s trying to find; it’s of course Ron, Hermione, Fleur’s sister, who… I forget her name. It’s something French.
Rosie: Gabrielle.
Noah: Gabrielle, yes.
Eric: Yeah, something French.
[Everyone laughs]
Noah: And Cho, of course, and Harry sees that Ron was tied behind Hermione and Cho – or it should be between Hermione and Cho – to which I said, “Nice.”
[Rosie laughs]
Eric: Hmm.
Noah: “Nice!” [laughs] Of course everyone’s unconscious. So as you might imagine, Harry courageously tries to save everyone and he just… of course he… Cedric and Krum eventually make it on the scene, Cedric with a bubble on his head – what would happen if that was popped, by the way? I really don’t know – and Krum with his shark head, which is noted as a bad transfiguration, or a poor transfiguration because he’s only half-shark. Which I wonder if that’s sort of painful in his middle. I’m not really sure.
Rosie: Yeah, that would… yeah, doesn’t seem like a good thing to be.
Noah: Yeah.
Rosie: Half-man, half-shark.
Noah: And then Krum tries to pry Hermione loose using his teeth, but Harry is afraid that he’s going to actually bite Hermione in half…
[Eric laughs]
Noah: … so he gives her the rock.
Eric: Krum accepts his help…
Noah and Rosie: He does.
Eric: … after trying unsuccessfully to bite these ropes…
[Rosie laughs]
Eric: … and there’s a saying, “Oh yeah, those teeth are for biting dolphins in half…”
[Noah laughs]
Eric: What? So he accepts Harry’s help by getting her free and then goes up.
Noah: Right, so we used to have the “What If?” section on this podcast, so “What if Krum had continued to bite Hermione?”
[Everyone laughs]
Noah: What would have happened? [laughs]
Eric: Yeah.
Noah: How much blood? No.
[Eric laughs]
Rosie: I think Hermione would probably have woken up. [laughs]
Eric: Oh.
Noah: That would have been terrible.
Eric: Without air to breathe.
Aimee: Yeah.
Eric: See, even though they’re unconscious, they’re really more frozen because even asleep you need to breathe.
Noah: Yeah.
Rosie: True.
Noah: So after Cedric and Krum take off with their cargo, or their hostages, Harry decides to try and save Fleur’s sister because he decides Fleur just isn’t coming, and he’s concerned about the poem that Ron and Fleur’s sister are going to die if they are not saved, which, in hindsight… of course not. Of course they’re not going to die. Dumbledore wouldn’t do that. But in any case, he fends off the merpeople with his wand, as we’ve said. He gives them the count of three with his fingers. Very dramatic scene. And they scurry away before “three.”
Rosie: [laughs] What does it say about Harry that he actually believes that these people are in real danger? That’s how much danger he’s been in himself at school that people could actually die so he has to save them.
Noah: Right. He’s just… he’s in love with the hero character. He just takes it on to himself to save the day.
Rosie: But he’s also like… throughout the last three years, people have literally almost died if someone hadn’t saved them. So he literally doesn’t second-guess this at all. He really thinks they’re in danger.
Noah: Yeah. Right.
Rosie: Poor Harry.
[Eric and Rosie laugh]
Noah: It’s just sort of normal for him at this point.
Rosie: Uh-huh.
Noah: He’s been saving people since he’s been…
Eric: He’s been so abused and always being the one in that position to do that.
Noah: Yeah. Well, we can talk about his psychological development in another podcast, because my friend who is a cognitive neuroscientist is actually coming on the show.
Rosie: Oh, cool.
Noah: That’s a whole other thing.
Eric: Cognitive neuroscientist. All right.
Noah: So Harry takes both and he says that Ron and Fleur’s sister are kind of like sacks of potatoes kind of an interesting image there.
[Eric and Rosie laugh]
Noah: He pulls them up and as he’s doing so, he’s slowly losing his fish-like abilities. I thought this was pretty well done in the movie kind of scared. There’s no Ascendio big Ascendio spell of him shooting up like in the movie, but he does get out.
Eric: Ooh.
Noah: And he feels like it’s a breath of life, like he hadn’t breathed for the first time or he hadn’t done so properly until that moment and I thought that was really cool. Again, kind of like when he’s entering the water and breathing for the first time, so we get this. There are a lot of cool poetic images in this chapter, more so than others, just about life and especially breathing. So once he gets up everybody is actually… at first they’re screaming because they’re concerned that they’re dead, Fleur’s sister and Ron they’re of course not. But then Harry gets back onto the beach or maybe it’s the platform, like in the movie and Madam Pomfrey descends with blankets for everyone.
[Rosie laughs]
Noah: And potion. And Krum tries to talk to Hermione. Krum tries to tell Hermione, “Look at me, I saved your life.” But on page 505, “Harry had the impression that Krum was drawing her attention back onto himself, perhaps to remind her that he had just rescued her from the lake.” But she…
Rosie: Aww. [laughs]
Noah: … just kind of looks at Harry. So this is Harry block number one, as I want to call it.
[Aimee and Rosie laugh]
Noah: And later on page 507, “Krum didn’t look happy at all. He attempted to engage Hermione in conversation again, but she was too busy cheering Harry to listen.” Which is Harry block number two.
[Aimee, Eric, and Rosie laugh]
Rosie: Does anyone else feel really bad for Viktor Krum? [laughs]
Noah: I thought it was funny.
Aimee: I know I feel bad for him.
Noah: So I had two thoughts about this: 1) Did something happen between Krum and Hermione in the past couple of weeks or months that she’s ignoring him? And 2) Harry seems to notice on both of these occasions that this is going down. Do you think he gets some pleasure out of the fact that she’s more focused on him than Krum?
Eric: Yeah, I think he does. Which maybe that’s sexual, maybe it’s romantic. You could argue either way.
Noah: Maybe it is. [laughs]
Eric: But I think in general, maybe she knows that if it weren’t for him, she would be bitten in half.
[Rosie laughs]
Eric: Or some fate worse. He really did revolutionize the result of that match for everybody.
Noah: Yeah, he did. Completely.
Eric: … by talking to Cedric, by talking to Krum, and by saving Gabriella and stuff. So maybe she knows somehow in their drugged frozenness or sleepiness, they still saw or something.
Noah: Or maybe it was discussed when they got back up or something.
Eric: Yeah. Maybe.
Rosie: In terms of the first point, “Did something happen between Krum and Hermione?” thing, I’ve often seen this as… we’ve had the Yule Ball now. We’ve had Hermione and Ron’s big fallout over Krum, Hermione deliberately distancing herself from Krum to kind of placate Ron in some ways.
Noah: Right.
Rosie: So that could be why she’s ignoring him.
Noah: And I also think that maybe Krum doesn’t necessarily see the Ron/Hermione thing and might be jealous of Harry. Because we know that later in the maze Krum is kind of against Harry.
Rosie: Definitely.
Noah: Who knows if he’s building up some resentment…
Rosie: Especially with the newspaper article as well that Rita writes.
Noah: Right, right. That’s going to come out. That’s a whole level of tension that we never think about because we’re in Harry’s consciousness, but this is the beginning of Krum kind of hating on Harry.
Aimee: And I think the only thing Harry has against Krum is… I think he feels more protective over Hermione versus mad at Krum for actually being with Hermione.
Eric: Right.
Aimee: So I think Krum overestimates what Harry is feeling towards Hermione at this moment.
Rosie: Mhm.
Eric: Oh yeah, of course. You don’t believe in the Harmione ship?
Aimee: No. Nope. No.
[Aimee, Noah, and Rosie laugh]
Eric: It’s hard to believe in something that isn’t canon except in David Yates movies.
[Noah and Rosie laugh]
Noah: Yeah.
Eric: That’s totally canon.
[Rosie laughs]
Noah: Except when there’s music involved.
[Eric laughs]
Noah: And dancing. So also on page 505 almost done with the chapter now there’s a little bit of a debate as to where the points should lie for Harry, for Cedric, for Krum, for Fleur. Especially because Harry kind of changes the game, as it were, because he saves two people. So there’s a bit of a consult with Dumbledore and the chief merperson, who is a woman, and I thought that was cool. So in some ways, this society of merpeople is a bit more forward in terms of gender hierarchy or maybe they’re not; maybe they’re just woman-centered. Or maybe they’re not either way it just happens to be a woman but I thought…
Eric: Well, maybe they’re like seahorses…
Rosie: Seahorses. [laughs]
Eric: … and the men carry the babies.
Noah: Uh-huh. Oh yeah, I did learn about that.
Rosie: No patriarchy under the sea.
[Eric laughs and sings “Under the Sea” from The Little Mermaid]
Noah: Well, there’s lots of male patriarchy in that movie.
Rosie: That’s true.
Eric: Oh, yeah. [laughs] Mhm.
Noah: But perhaps…
Eric: Ursula gets her… Ursula makes it happen.
Noah: She does, but she’s evil.
Rosie: She’s the witch.
Noah: She’s the witch.
[Noah and Rosie laugh]
Eric: She’s the witch and he’s the king, right.
Noah: And she’s ugly and terrible.
Eric: Oh. That’s because she’s greedy and he’s not.
Noah: Yeah. We’re not a Little Mermaid podcast, but there’s lots of…
[Eric and Rosie laugh]
Noah: … stuff. [sings “Under the Sea”] But we can safely say that the lake is not a male patriarchal society. I just thought that was cool.
Eric: It is pretty cool.
Rosie: Very cool.
Noah: So stuff is cleared up and what Harry did under the sea is revealed to the judges. And after that they have a huddle, and I was like, “Is that like an American football huddle?”
[Eric and Rosie laugh]
Noah: Because that would be really weird. Anyway, the points are distributed and it turns out that Harry is tied with Cedric “for outstanding moral fiber.” He gets forty-five points to Cedric’s forty-seven, but it works out that they’re tied and everybody’s happy.
Rosie: Yay!
Noah: Harry is relieved.
Rosie: Well done, Harry.
[Eric and Rosie laugh]
Noah: They go get warm and go to Honeydukes. And that is the end of the chapter discussion. Very large this was a large chapter.
Eric: And that leads us directly into our Podcast Question for this week. This question I have wanted to ask for ages upon ages upon ages, and I know that the Alohomora! listening audience as well as our fellow hosts are the right people to answer it.
Noah: Great.
Eric: The Podcast Question of this week is: How much danger were Ron and Hermione and Cho and Gabrielle in? Because Harry and Ron have this debate as they’re being rescued or picked up. Ron says, “Do you really think Dumbledore would let us die?” But to a certain extent, it makes sense that there was real danger there, and real danger is certainly implied and it drives Harry in this chapter. So how much danger were those kids really in? Is what Harry did necessary or is it really more like sympathy points that he gets because he thought he had to be a hero? It kind of will influence how we see Harry or how we see the judges, and this whole tournament essentially hinges on whether or not the danger is real or just perceived.
Noah: That’s a really good question, Eric, and I would just add that… also keep in mind, the hostages were also in danger from the contestants themselves in regards to Krum which couldn’t be accounted for.
Eric: Yeah. Biting Hermione in half.
[Noah laughs]
Eric: It’s bad enough that you submerge them underwater and they’re not breathing, but the fact that it’s actually them…
Noah: Yep.
Eric: And they’re not magically bound, if you think about it, to be in this tournament the way that the Champions are and can therefore die because of it. The fact that these are just… it’s like you get punished for being their best friend and their love interest and whoever else, because you’re put in this situation that you didn’t sign up for. You didn’t put your name in the Goblet and yet here you are underwater, able to be bitten in half and fought over by merpeople.
Rosie: To be fair, that’s true of Harry’s friends throughout the entire series. [laughs]
Eric: Ah, that’s true. But this is a controlled environment, isn’t it?
Noah: Perhaps not the Question of the Week but a thought in my head. I wonder about the process by which they were asked to participate, if they had a choice or if they had to sign some kind of waiver.
Eric: Yeah, I think McGonagall just gave them some chocolate. Or maybe she doped them.
[Eric, Noah, and Rosie laugh]
Eric: It’s funny either way.
Noah: But in any case, you can answer the [Podcast] Question of the Week on our website, and we’ll be reading those responses next week.
Eric: And I’ll be sure to write it out very carefully in the doc. [laughs]
Noah: Cool. All right, well, thank you very much, Aimee, for coming on the show.
Aimee: Oh, thank you for having me. It was so much fun!
Rosie: Glad you enjoyed yourself.
Aimee: It’s weird to be on this side of things because…
[Rosie laughs]
Aimee: Because I’m a transcriber, so…
Noah and Rosie: Oh, cool!
Eric: Well, now you get to transcribe yourself.
[Rosie laughs}
Aimee: I’m slightly terrified for that, but hopefully it’ll be fun. [laughs]
Eric: Terrified? Why, can’t you understand your thick accent?
[Rosie laughs]
Noah: I feel like I use a lot of hyphens in my language. Is that true?
Aimee: Yes, although I haven’t done a bunch with you lately because we’re a few episodes behind and you weren’t on them for a very long time.
Noah: Well, this is true.
Aimee: So I cannot accurately answer this question.
[Aimee and Rosie laugh]
Noah: All right, well, maybe you can let me know later…
Rosie: Accuracy is important in transcribing.
[Everyone laughs]
Rosie: Thank you so much for doing such a great job, Aimee.
Aimee: Oh, thank you.
Rosie: And if you guys would like to be on the show, just like Aimee was this week, you can head over to our website and check out the “Be on the Show” page at alohomora.mugglenet.com. Please remember that you need to have appropriate audio equipment. And we are now actually taking your audio questions for upcoming episodes as well, so you can leave a message for us on our phone number or on our Audioboo account. And we will only be taking audio questions for this future segment, so please do leave us your questions and we will talk about them on the show.
Eric: There are several ways in which you can get in contact with us via our various social media outlets and other stuff too. First is on Twitter: twitter.com/AlohomoraMN as in MuggleNet. That’s @AlohomoraMN on Twitter. We are at facebook.com/openthedumbledore. You can find us there, write on our wall, send us your theories and comments, and pretty much anything you’d do anywhere else. You can call us at the hotline, which is 206-GO-ALBUS, or 206-462-5287. You can leave us voicemails and theories and hints and comments all there as well. Don’t forget to subscribe if you haven’t already and leave us a review as well on iTunes where each of our episodes [are] uploaded first. And finally, Audioboo. As Rosie mentioned, you can leave us a message directly on alohomora.mugglenet.com, which is our Alohomora! main page. Just on the right there, you can click on Audioboo, and if you have audio equipment you can leave us a message that we will read and hear right there. It’s free – all you need is a microphone.
Rosie: And don’t forget we also have our store where you can get T-shirts – short and long sleeve – tote bags, sweatshirts, flip-flops, water bottles, travel mugs, and lots more things coming soon. We now actually have Mandrake Liberation Front and Desk!Pig designs available. And there are over 80 products to choose from, so make sure you search through all of those to make sure you get the thing that you want. We also have free ringtones on our site, so make sure you check them out to have a snippet of our show as your ringtone.
Noah: And I might just add, about the Mandrake Liberation Front: For a while I’ve been collecting notes of just… a different… a fan fiction story and really writing it out. I don’t really know what it’s going to be used for, but I’d love to share it with everybody soon. [I] just wanted to announce that. You can also follow the Mandrake Liberation Front at @MandrakeForever and Desk!Pig at @TheDeskPig on Twitter. We also have an Alohomora! app, and it’s available seemingly worldwide for iPhones [and] Android. You can get transcripts, bloopers, alternate endings, host vlogs, and so much more from us. If you just want to hear little tidbits from us during the day – just extra bits – it’s in the app. Check it out.
[Show music begins]
Eric: All right! Well, everybody, thank you for listening. I am Eric Scull.
Noah: I’m Noah Fried.
Rosie: And I’m Rosie Morris. Thank you for listening to Episode 64 of Alohomora!
Eric: [pretends to be underwater] Open the Dumbledore!
[Show music continues]
Eric: How much danger were Ron and Hermione and Gabrielle and the.. basically the trophies in this. How… I forget the other… I’m scrambling to think of the other one. [laughs] What’s the other one?
Rosie: [laughs] Cho Chang!
Noah: Cho Chang!
Eric: It’s Cho! It’s Cho. I’m going to redo that again, okay?
[Rosie laughs]
