Transcript – Episode 62
[Show music begins]
Eric Scull: This is Episode 62 of Alohomora! for December 21, 2013.
[Show music continues]
Eric: Hello, everybody, and welcome to Alohomora! I’m Eric Scull.
Michael Harle: I’m Michael Harle.
Kat Miller: And I’m Kat Miller. And our guest today is a familiar voice, I would think, if you listen to any of the podcasts [in] the MuggleNet podcast family. It is Jeanna from Hogwarts Radio. Hello, Jeanna. Thank you for joining us.
Jeanna Marie: Hello.
Kat: Hi.
Jeanna: How’s everyone?
Eric: Jeannus, tell us about yourself… [laughs] Jeannus. Oh my God. Bad.
[Michael laughs]
Eric: Jeanna, tell us about yourself. What House are you?
Kat: Hasn’t she been on the show before?
Jeanna: I was on once.
Kat: Yeah.
Eric: Oh. Well…
Jeanna: But it was a while ago.
Kat: Well, refresh our listeners’ memory.
Jeanna: I am a Slytherin. I am on the Hogwarts Radio for anyone who is unfamiliar to my voice.
Eric: Happy to be here?
Jeanna: Extremely happy to be here, of course. I’m very excited to be here.
Kat: And, as usual, we want to remind our listeners to read Chapter 24 of Goblet of Fire, “Rita Skeeter’s Scoop,” before listening to this episode, for full listening enjoyment.
Michael: But before we move on to that chapter, we’re going to look back at some comments from the previous week’s chapter, Chapter 23, “The Yule Ball,” one of the major points in Goblet of Fire. And we’re going to start off with a comment from Pigwidgeon, which was left on our forums. And this one was about the great debate between Cho versus Ginny. And Pigwidgeon had this to say:
“A lot of people dislike Cho because of the way Jo wrote her in OotP. At the time of this book she’s 16 and her boyfriend was murdered by the greatest wizard of the age right before the term ended. If you WEREN’T crying and suffering from depression or post traumatic stress, I’d actually think something was wrong with you. She gets jealous over Hermione because, at this moment, she really needs the attention and the comfort and all Harry can talk about is Hermione. I’d be a little annoyed too, to be honest. Cho thinks she’s found someone whom she can confide in about her experience because Harry was there and he, being a fifteen year old boy, isn’t really sure how to handle it. He’s actually incredibly insensitive towards her feelings. He had been suffering from night terrors and flashbacks so you’d think he’d be more sensitive toward her, and this is where I think Jo tossed all of that aside to show that Ginny is ‘obviously’ the better choice.”
This was a major discussion on the show last week, and I just wanted to bring this up again to see what this set of hosts’ opinions are, because I have very strong feelings about the Cho/Ginny thing. But what do you guys think about this?
Eric: This comment is mainly about Book 5…
Michael: That’s okay. That’s okay.
Eric: I don’t think we’ll be there in two years. And Ginny doesn’t really come into play for another year or another book.
Jeanna: No, she’s in play in Book 5.
Eric: Not as a romantic interest. She does end up going with them.
Kat: She’s kind of a silent killer in Book 5, which I like.
[Eric and Michael laugh]
Jeanna: She… I sort of agree with Pigwidgeon in this comment, but at the same time it’s less Harry is… they’re showing Harry’s – I don’t know if this is a word – insensitivity towards Cho. I think it’s more just showing that Harry just is not… he doesn’t know how to deal with his feelings on this. It’s not… it’s less about the girls and more about Harry’s inability to feel, I guess.
[Everyone laughs]
Kat: I mean, pretty much.
[Jeanna laughs]
Eric: So wait, now last week – I guess I’m missing something here – were people battling Cho and Ginny?
Michael: Yeah, there was quite an extensive discussion that Alyssa and Caleb and Logan and… who was the other host?
Kat: Noah.
Michael: Noah, yeah.
Eric: I can’t think why ever because it wasn’t… sure it’s the Yule Ball, but really that’s a couple of points…
Kat: There’s always a big Ginny versus Cho debate. No matter when or where, what book you’re discussing, there’s always a big Ginny/Cho debate.
Eric: Well, I’m all for Ginny. I’m so glad when that got kicked off the ground. I’ve been hoping for it since Book 2, I guess it’s fair to say. Although she did wish him good luck on the platform in Book 1…
[Kat, Michael, and Jeanna laugh]
Eric: … she was a little too young.
Kat: You know where they’re…
Eric: Little too young there, but I had been hoping for that, and in Book 6 when it came to fruition that was just my dream come true.
Kat: I think the conversation started when they were talking about who they’re going to the ball with, which I think it was… was it the beginning of the last chapter? Or the very end of the chapter before that chapter, Chapter 21?
Eric: Well, and at some point Ron had said, “You should just take Ginny,” maybe I can convince…
Kat: Right. Exactly. Yeah, so that’s where they whole conversation came from.
Eric: And obviously Harry wanted to take Cho. Yeah, I think it’s… at this point, though, they’re all still so young. We talked about this too. Harry’s fourteen and all the other champions are seventeen. He really needs to grow up a little bit more. And when they’re both… when both he and Ginny are older, they’re a better match for each other than they would be at this age.
Jeanna: And in Book 4 is Ginny twelve?
Kat: Yeah.
Eric: Thirteen. She’s thirteen.
Kat: Is she?
Eric: Harry is fourteen…
Jeanna: She’s two years…
Eric: No, she’s not
Kat: Oh, no. She’s one year younger. You’re right.
Eric: She’s one year.
Jeanna: Still, thirteen?
Kat: But that doesn’t mean that she’s thirteen. When’s her birthday?
Michael: She was born on August 11, 1981.
Eric: So a couple of days after Harry and a month.
Jeanna: Yeah. That’s true.
Eric: But…
Jeanna: About a month and a year behind. No. A year and a few weeks behind.
Eric: A year and a week.
Jeanna: Yeah.
Kat: Oh.
Eric: Yep. It’s safe to say that she’s thirteen and he’s fourteen, but in Book 6 when he’s sixteen and she’s fifteen, they’re both a little bit older. But I think Cho does have real adult situations thrust upon her, which is not easy to handle. And I think in Book 5, it’s very easy to be, “Oh my God. She’s blubbing. She just won’t stop crying.” Harry doesn’t know how to deal with it and they’re in the tea shop and he doesn’t want to cause a scene and it’s all ridiculously out of hand. But I think you guys are right. I think it’s just meant to show…
Jeanna: But I think Pigwidgeon thought… sorry to interrupt. I agree with Pigwidgeon’s thoughts in this comment, where they say Cho just really wanted someone to talk to and she assumed that Harry would be the one person in the world who would understand where she was coming from because Harry saw it happen…
Eric: Yeah.
Jeanna: And was somewhat close with Cedric like she was. In a different aspect, but still…
Eric: His failure to open up to her at that scene in this time is worthy of discussion.
Jeanna: Yes.
Eric: And I agree, he should have been more open to her, but that’s still a book away, so we should probably move on.
Kat: Yeah.
Michael: From Elvis Gaunt on the main site, it said,
“I am thinking Slytherin, not because she is a bad character, but because she does seem very ambitious, independent, and willing to step on others to get what she wants. As the Sorting Hat says, ‘Those cunning folk use any means to achieve their ends,’ which sounds a lot like Rita to me.”
Elvis Gaunt, there are a lot of things we miss. You would be surprised.
[Eric and Jeanna laugh]
Kat: It’s funny, I was listening to that episode because I released last week, and I was yelling…
[Eric and Michael laugh]
Kat: … at my speakers because they weren’t noticing it. And then after I finished, I texted all four of them and was like, “How did you miss this?! How did you miss this?!”
[Michael laughs]
Kat: I was yelling at them.
Michael: Luckily we have listeners like Elvis Gaunt…
Kat: Right.
Michael: … who are ever so kind to point these things out so that we can fix that…
Kat: Right.
Michael: … and remedy that. But yes, we do see Rita for the first time, and there were some interesting points brought up about Rita’s first appearance as a beetle. Somebody, Archduke Severus, was the one on the main site who mentioned, “What would have happened if Rita had actually overheard a different conversation, that being Snape’s and Karkaroff’s, which was very closeby?”
Kat: Oooh. That’s a good question.
Jeanna: She does pick very prime conversations to overhear.
Michael: And of course the conversation she overhears is the set-up for this chapter that we’re going to discuss in a few moments.
Eric: Yes, it’s a fairly important point.
Jeanna: Yeah.
Kat: I think that the reasons she was probably sticking around Hagrid is because she knows that Hagrid is close to Harry. And I think that her ultimate goal is anything to do with Harry.
Michael: There was also an interesting comment by Olivia Underwood on the main site because there was little bit of discussion about Sortings last week, and Olivia elaborated with the Sorting Hat saying,
“About the Sorting Hat, I do wonder whether [Rowling] realized as the books progressed the obvious flaw – that it goes against her values concerning stereotypes. I’ve always struggled to agree with the idea of the Sorting Hat. It could actually be a criticism, though, on old traditions, and how society must allow social change to take place… I think she surprised us, but I have a sneaky feeling [she also surprised] herself.”
This topic came up just because, I think, partially because Olivia was discussing on the main site racial prejudices and the differences amongst characters, and she went to that. And this is a conversation we’ve been having constantly throughout the show. But I thought this was just a really interesting observation, especially just because it’s the idea that Rowling perhaps caught herself in what she was doing?
Jeanna: I’m confused.
Michael: I just wanted to bring this up because… what are you confused on, Jeanna?
Jeanna: As the new person, sorry to interrupt.
Michael: You’re fine.
Jeanna: I was just confused as to whom this comment was about. Which character, I should say. I’m sorry.
Michael: I’m trying to… see, I listened to the show last night, and I feel asleep so I don’t remember.
[Michael and Jeanna laugh]
Kat: Well, that bodes well.
Michael: It wasn’t that it wasn’t good! I was just tired.
Kat: That’s okay. I wasn’t on it. You can call it boring if you want.
Michael: [laughs] It was not boring.
Kat: I know, I’m kidding.
Michael: But I don’t remember who it was specifically referring to.
Kat: Probably Alyssa brought it up.
Michael: Probably.
Jeanna: I was just wondering the context of it.
Eric: This does remind me of something I wanted to say, too, about the Sorting Hat and Houses. We get up in arms about what each House represents, but really the idea of Sorting is also meant to be a good thing for the students, to really give them a focus group where they can hone their skills, wherever they may be. And that’s really what the Houses and the Sorting is all about. It’s not just smart kids in this House because all the dumb ones will weigh you down.
[Kat and Michael laugh]
Eric: It really is individual focus, unique learning, and it’s supposed to make it a better environment and not divide you.
Kat: Speak for yourself, Hufflepuff. I’m just kidding.
Michael: Ooh!
Kat: That was a racial slur. I’m just kidding!
[Michael laughs]
Eric: I didn’t hear it – I was talking – because you were interrupting.
Kat: I know! I’m really good at interrupting. I’m sorry.
Michael: All right! So for our last comment, we have an Audioboo submission from Hufflepuffskein.
[Audio]: Hi, this is Leah or Hufflepuffskein on the forums. I want to say welcome back again to Noah. Yay! And then I also wanted to add, Caleb mentioned Hermione’s transformation or her sassiness, as I’m sure he would say, as we see her leading up to her big moment at the Yule Ball. And this really made me think of many of Jane Austen’s heroines. Jo has made clear her love of Austen, and Austen’s influence in her writing and characterization just shines. So characters like Lizzy Bennet, Emma Woodhouse, and Marianne Dashwood in Austen go through pretty significant changes in their outlook and even personality over the course of their story and eventually become the people they need to be to take on big changes. In Austen, this typically means marriage or falling in love and not necessarily overcoming the most powerful Dark Lord ever, but I think that these characters and their storylines may have been an inspiration for Jo’s characterization of Hermione in this book and then later on as well.
I also wanted to mention the connection to the idea brought up by many members of the forum that Harry needed to pursue to Cho to know what he didn’t want and that Ginny would be a better companion for him. I think this can be said for Ron and Hermione as well, as we see for Hermione here with Krum, for Ron with Lavender, and this also has a connection to Austen because Lizzy, Emma, and Marianne all go through this. They all encounter possible love interests who turned out not to be “the one.” And so in both Jo’s and Jane’s writing, they detail their character’s emotional development in such moments because it’s important to see how people change and how they respond to their environment and the challenges that life brings to make a realistic story, and while Jo was writing in a fantasy genre and so is not as realistic as Jane’s literary world is, I think that still her characterization and how we come to understand these characters is very realistic.
I also have to say that I’m certain that Jane Austen would have loved to read this Potter chapter in particular as a masterful description of a very drama-filled ball, as many of Jane Austen’s own literary balls were. So thanks.
Michael: I can see that this is very good analysis because it is true that Austen’s heroines do end up going through lots of trials and tribulations and end up changing completely as people and seeing the men in their life as significantly different. Of course, Hermione goes through that here with Ron and I think Hufflepuffskein is right to mention, too, that the things that Hermione goes through with relationships are what prepare her for what she needs to do in the future, even in battle and her smarts and how she develops her worldview. We’ve talked about this before in terms of her evolving view on how she approaches dealing with the house-elf rights and how she goes from targeting the house-elves to actually targeting the people who oppress the house-elves.
Eric: Right.
Michael: So yes, this was a fantastic comment. I wish I could say more on it, but I’ve been so far distanced from Austen at this point that I can’t cite specific examples, but thank you Leah for bringing this up because it really was a great analysis and comparison of the two works, especially because, yes, Rowling has mentioned before that she takes great joy in Austen’s works and a lot of inspiration which the previous chapter does certainly evidence.
Eric: Well, over on the Alohomora! website we had the Poll of the Week, and those results are now posted. Just a recap, basically, the question was: “We never see the students buying their Christmas presents for each other. Where do they get them?” Of course, the winner was “All of the above.”
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Now that’s funny because as a poll option you really shouldn’t include “All of the above.” It’s not a standardized test, for crying out loud! It’s not a standardized test, but so just to reiterate here, “All of the above” means, here are the options: They buy them off-screen in Hogsmeade, they buy them ahead of time during summer, their parents buy their friends’ presents for them and just mail them, and there are mail-order catalogues in magazines. Now, that mail-order catalogue was the second-place winner so one could say that was the definitive answer reached by everybody that was one answer and not all of them.
Kat: I would say so.
Michael: And Alyssa mentioned on the show last week and I believe somebody on the page – I think it was Pigwidgeon – mentioned that there is a reference by Hermione that she does order gifts from a mail-order catalogue, possibly through the Daily Prophet or something like that, so that is pretty definitive, I think. The thing is, I think the pondering comes from the fact that the first and second years can’t even go to Hogsmeade…
Kat: Right, that’s true!
Michael: … to actually buy presents, but Harry has bought Ron presents in first and second year.
Kat: And for those of you that don’t know, the Poll of the Week is a new feature that we’re doing. Basically, every episode, we come up with so many questions that we want to ask you guys, ask our listeners, and get your opinions on, but we just don’t have time to ask them all. So every week after the episode is released, we’re going to be releasing this Poll of the Week and it’s basically a second Question of the Week and we’re going to be reading out your responses on the following show in our recap just like we did today. So you should start checking out alohomora.mugglenet.com and voting in those polls. So to wrap up our recap, this week we are going to go into the Podcast Question of the Week responses from last week. So the question last week was,
“In this chapter, Dumbledore mentions to Karkaroff finding a room full of chamber pots that he never knew about. Can we assume this is the Room of Requirement, and if so, did Dumbledore really not know about the room at this point? Or is he not being completely truthful with Karkaroff, thereby partially cloaking his school’s secrets, just like the Durmstrang Headmaster?”
Okay, we got a lot of responses, as you can imagine. But our first one here is from Mike Kazmierski. He says,
“I like to think that the magic and enigma of Hogwarts transcends even Dumbledore himself. Hogwarts is so old and wrapped in magic both ancient and modern that it is impossible to fully comprehend. I’ve always thought of Hogwarts as another character in the book – things like trick staircases, secret passages, Peeves, the collection of talking portraits, the ghosts, its grand architecture, and even its motto (“Never tickle a sleeping dragon”) – all seem to suggest an entity that is mischievous yet grand and powerful. I don’t believe the Marauder’s Map even shows all of Hogwarts’ secrets – I think the castle’s secrets change and evolve over time and even then it was limited to the extent to which the four had explored the castle.”
Eric: Well, that’s actually definitive that the Marauder’s Map won’t have on it stuff that wasn’t already known by the Marauders. I think that’s been said at one point or another.
Kat: Right.
Michael: Yes.
Eric: But I also like that they did… well, maybe Dumbledore was perplexed and didn’t know that it was the Room of Requirement specifically.
Michael: I know that they questioned it last week because Dumbledore… Harry swears that Dumbledore gives him a small wink.
Eric: Mhm.
Michael: And some of them were wondering if that wasn’t just because he makes the joke about how he’s got a full bladder.
Eric: Well, somebody has to know about the room because who would empty the chamber pots?
Michael: Ooh!
Kat: You have got to think…
Jeanna: Magic?
Kat: The room would empty them.
Jeanna: Come on!
Michael: The room! Please God, the room would do it. [laughs]
Eric: But that makes it the Room of Requirement. If it is not the Room of Requirement, somebody’s got to go and empty those at some point.
Kat: Well, I hear that…
Jeanna: I definitely think it was the Room of Requirement…
Michael: It is.
Jeanna: I definitely think that Dumbledore knew it was the Room of Requirement. I don’t think the Room of Requirement is as secret as we want to believe it.
Eric: I think that’s proven.
Jeanna: I think a very limited of people know about it – a very limited amount of people – but…
Eric: Yeah. It’s proven that more people know about it then you’d prefer. Because when Harry goes to store his Half-Blood Prince book, basically that room appears, which is everywhere anybody’s ever tried to store something.
Jeanna: Oh!
Kat: Right, and actually…
Jeanna: Here’s a good – I’m sorry – here’s a good crackpot theory: Dumbledore had to not… this makes no sense; Dumbledore knew about it…
[Eric and Michael laugh]
Jeanna: Because – oh my gosh – every fourth [year] knew about it to connect the bar to the Room of Requirement.
Michael: Well, that didn’t exist before they needed it in Deathly Hallows. Neville in Deathly Hallows talks…
Jeanna: Mmm.
Michael: Neville in Deathly Hallows talks about conversing with the room or with Hogwarts: “It’s like Hogwarts wants us to fight back.”
Jeanna: Ooh.
Eric: To arrange that tunnel to be constructed.
Jeanna: Drat, I forgot about that.
Michael: Which gives credence to Mike’s suspicions that Hogwarts really is more of a… almost a character, which I have always viewed Hogwarts as.
Kat: Yeah, I completely agree with that.
Jeanna: I do agree with Mike on that.
Michael: I agree with that. That’s a great analysis. And I think in a way – it’ll be a little sidetracked – but that’s always why I was disappointed with Hogwarts in the films because it never really feels…
Kat: Magical?
Eric: … wholly and completely alive to me.
Kat: Yeah.
Jeanna: Yeah.
[Everyone laughs]
Jeanna: It feels more like a prop.
Eric: What about that time in Movie 1 when the staircase changes? [laughs]
Michael: When the staircases change conveniently for the plot and only then.
[Everyone laughs]
Jeanna: Agreed. It feels more like a prop, less like a character.
Michael: Yeah, definitely. And they tried in the last movie when the vines are grabbing the giants. And I was like, “Ah, yeah. Nice try”…
Jeanna: No.
Michael: … but no.
Jeanna: No, I still feel in the last two movies they wanted to create more, but it was still a plot piece and a prop…
Michael: A set piece.
Jeanna: Yeah, yeah. It wasn’t what it should have been.
Kat: All right. So we have one more comment here from WatchSky181. It says,
“I wholly subscribe to the notion that Dumbledore is telling this story for Harry’s benefit and indeed guesses more about it than he lets on – he is remarkably close to the mark in what he says it does. As such he definitely wants Harry to investigate. I don’t know what Dumbledore does know about the magic of the Room Of Requirement, but unlike the Chamber of Secrets (which I see being used as an example of Dumbledore’s fallibility with regards to the hidden magic of Hogwarts), the room is clearly widely known. Not only are there hundreds of students who access the room of hidden things (who may or may not know of the room because of this ‘incarnation’), but also is it not stated that it is known in its true capacity to the house-elves in general (I can’t recall if Dobby is alone in his knowledge of it or not)?”
So there you go.
Eric: Also, there is a quote from J.K. Rowling – I think it is from when Book 5 was coming out – where she mentions this specific comment that Dumbledore makes. I was trying to find it just now but I can’t. But she does mention that we’ll be seeing a room that close, careful readers will realize has been alluded to in Book 4.
Michael: Yeah, I remember that.
Kat: That’s this room. Yeah, definitely.
Eric: Yeah, that’s this room. So it is really cool how it’s just casually hint-dropped.
Kat: Totally.
Michael: So we can definitively say as far as the audience goes, it’s definitely for our benefit.
Eric: Yeah.
Michael: I am kind of the mindset of WatchSky here that Dumbledore was telling it because he knew Harry was within earshot and he was hoping he would go explore it more. I don’t think Dumbledore knew the full extent of the room, like you guys were saying, because he doesn’t know about the Room of Hidden Things. He just knows it as the Chamber Pot Room.
Eric: And that leads us, everybody, into Chapter 24 of Goblet of Fire, “Rita Skeeter’s Scoop.”
[Goblet of Fire Chapter 24 intro begins]
[Sound of Hermione knocking on Hagrid’s door]
Hermione: “Hagrid!”
Hagrid: Chapter 24.
Hermione: “Hagrid! That’s enough!”
Hagrid: “Rita Skeeter’s Scoop.”
Hermione: “Hagrid, get out here! You’re just being…”
[Sound of door opening]
Hermione: “Oh. Hello… Headmaster.”
[Goblet of Fire Chapter 24 intro ends]
Eric: Okay, guys. So winter break is just wrapping up, and it turns out that in spite of their argument, Ron and Hermione are speaking to each other. They seem to have reached an unspoken agreement, which allows them to remain civil. And Harry is happy – I think we’re all pretty happy that we don’t have to deal with any more of the tension between them in this way. But it does kind of curb Ron’s behavior because she’s talking about – once they let her in on the discussion between Hagrid and Madame Maxime that they overheard, she’s talking about how “This prejudice against giants is just ridiculous, it’s just like werewolves and it’s unfounded” and all this other stuff. And Ron wants to correct her. You can tell he’s about to make a joke about, “Giants actually crush people, Hermione. They’re actually quite terrifying.” But he stops short of making that comment and when she’s not looking, turns to Harry and shakes his head. So, Hermione’s beginning to have an effect on Ron. I felt like that was an adorable way to open the chapter.
Kat: Yeah, I like it. I keep thinking of this everytime I read another chapter and I look at the date and the timeline of when the book is happening. We are so close to right on, and we have been for this entire book that it’s kind of exciting.
Eric: Mhm.
Kat: Like the beginning of this chapter takes place on Boxing Day, the day after Christmas. That is exactly a week from today.
Eric: Yeah.
Kat: Which is just really cool. I don’t know.
Eric: Yeah.
Kat: Yeah, that keeps happening and it makes me kind of all giddy.
Eric: It’s like an extra closeness to the source material.
Kat: It is!
Eric: This chapter does span a week or two. But at the beginning, I agree. It’s kind of like growing up with Harry if you’re the same age he was, which only happened once. But now this is the second best thing, being in December when you’re reading a book and it’s December.
Kat: Right.
Michael: Of course, just wait. Because in just a few chapters it’s going to be like, “And… it’s February now.”
[Everyone laughs]
Kat: That’s why I’m enjoying it while I can.
[Michael laughs]
Eric: Yeah, yeah. This is definitely a magical time for us and rereading the series. Harry is having a less than magical time trying to decipher this egg. The thing is, now that it’s past Christmas – and this is a great point from Jo; I think we’ve all experienced this – February 24, which is the date of the Second Task, seems a lot closer on this side of Christmas.
Michael: Yeah. It’s two months away.
Eric: It’s still two months away – eight or nine weeks, something like that – but he decides that he’s actually going to spend some time and try and crack the egg. So it doesn’t go as well as he plans.
[Michael laughs]
Eric: He spends a couple of nights with the egg in his dorm room smoking some cigarettes, buying a few drinks, that kind of thing, and he can’t crack it. Actually at one point he asks it a question like it’s a Magic 8 Ball. He shakes it, he opens it up. He tries shouting over top of it and he even tries…
Kat: Wait, where does he get the idea to shake it and ask it a question?
Eric: [laughs] You’re just trying everything, is all.
Kat: It’s brilliant.
Michael: Yeah, he just thought that it would talk back, maybe, if he tried to communicate. [laughs]
Eric: There’s no… because maybe if you don’t ask it a question it gets angry and shouts. I think at this point it’s because he’s had nothing to go on.
Michael: Mhm.
Eric: Which basically you rescue this egg, it’s your prize for winning the First Task, and that’s somehow your clue for the next task. I imagine if it were me, I’d always be thinking about the circumstances of… I wouldn’t be able to let go of the First Task. I’d be like, “A dragon was guarding this egg, so something about guarding, something about being protective.” Although that would actually turn out to be pretty accurate about the Second Task. But still, I think it’s just that he’s out of ideas. But really, guys, the one thing that he’s not going to do is take Cedric’s advice. Cedric was kind enough to tell him to go take a bath…
[Michael laughs]
Eric: … and Harry is having none of it.
Kat: You stink, dude! Take a bath!
Michael: Yeah, that has to be the weirdest way to approach someone. And it’s funny because I like that they kept that awkwardness in the movie. They barely changed the line.
Kat: Right.
Eric: [laughs] Yeah.
Michael: Because it’s so weird. Why on earth would Cedric think to say, [in a British accent] “Take a bath. This is me being nice to you”?
Eric: Yeah.
Michael: “Also, I stole your girlfriend.”
[Eric and Michael laugh]
Jeanna: It’s so obscure, though.
Michael: Yeah.
Jeanna: This is why I’m like… this is those few times where you’re like, “I just want to slap Harry!”
Eric and Michael: Yeah.
Jeanna: I love our main character, I love Harry, but this is one of those times where you’re like, “Harry! Get off your high horse! Listen to the man! He’s telling you, take a bath.”
Eric: Well, he’s a Hufflepuff and you can always trust a Hufflepuff…
Jeanna: Exactly!
Eric: … to repay a friend for a favor. Yeah. Well, the thing is Harry doesn’t like Cedric because Cedric took Cho to the ball. This is the thing, this is why he doesn’t like it and he says, “This is stupid advice! Take a bath? That’s so vague!”
Michael: I like that he even says that he thinks that Cedric told him that specifically to make him look bad in front of Cho…
[Eric laughs]
Michael: … and I’m like, there’s some mega hubris going on here.
Jeanna: Is he taking a bath in front of Cho?
Michael: Because Cedric doesn’t even know that Harry likes Cho.
Kat: Right.
Michael: So for God’s sake…
Eric: Yes, yes.
[Michael laughs]
Eric: It’s unfair… because they all play Quidditch, it’s unfair to think that Harry… anyway, so Harry’s in his head about this and that’s the very, very beginning of the chapter. He’s decided not to take Cedric’s advice but he’s gotten nowhere on his own. So, the start of term rolls around and something very, very, very interesting happens. On their first day they’re going down to Care of Magical Creatures, they’re in front of Hagrid’s hut, but Hagrid is not around. Instead, we meet Professor Grubbly-Plank… and guys, if you haven’t already heard Jim Dale’s voice for Grubbly-Plank, like all of his other voices, it’s really, really amusing. But she is their new interim Magical Creatures teacher and Harry and Ron are kind of stumped. It’s unexpected and they ask her – Ron’s first question – “What’s wrong with Hagrid? Where’s he at?” And she just says that Hagrid is indisposed.
Kat: She’s basically like STFU.
Eric: Yeah, yeah. They badger her because she’s leading them over to the forest, and at one point she just stops listening. She pretends that she doesn’t hear Harry, like “All right then.” But I think they should just take the answer. I mean, she is a professor. I don’t know if she was just brought on to the grounds or if she was just one of those teachers who was at Hogwarts doing something else that none of our students take. But for whatever reason she is an authority figure and they should just let it drop.
Kat: No, she had retired.
Eric: Oh.
Jeanna: Yeah, I think she was just kind of brought back…
Kat: For this.
Jeanna: … because they needed someone in a pinch.
Kat: She’s a substitute.
Jeanna: Yeah.
Eric: Well, in that case, certainly she travelled pretty quickly considering Rita Skeeter’s article probably just came out today. That’s why I tend to think that she was already on the grounds. But it doesn’t matter. Essentially she takes them over to the forest past the horses, which I feel bad for Madame Maxime’s horses. They’re shivering, it’s a little cold for them. But she takes them to the edge of the forest where standing tethered is a unicorn.
Kat: Ooh! Aah!
Eric: It is a large unicorn and it is said that it was so white that it made the snow around it look gray.
Kat: That’s crazy. That’s so cool.
Michael: Cue the girls going, “Ooh!”
Jeanna: I want it for reasons.
[Eric and Michael laugh]
Michael: The girls all say, “Ooh!”
Eric: And here’s one of the big points I want to talk about this chapter. Here’s a quote from Grubbly-Plank: “‘Boys keep back!’ barked Professor Grubbly-Plank, throwing out an arm and catching Harry hard in the chest. ‘They prefer the woman’s touch, unicorns.’ … She and the girls walked slowly forward to the unicorn, leaving the boys standing near the paddock fence, watching.” So my question is, guys, what is it about boys that unicorns don’t like? And what sort of class is this anyway…
[Michael laughs]
Eric: … where the boys have to stand back and watch?
Kat: Good one. Bada-bing.
Eric: So, is this just a case of “sugar and spice and everything nice” versus “snakes and snails and puppy dog tails”? Why don’t unicorns like boys and why is Professor Grubbly-Plank hating on the boys and using this as a lesson?
Michael: I am so glad you brought this up, Eric, because I remember when I read this part, I was like, “What the hell is this?!”
Kat: You are so southern right there, dude.
Michael: I was so upset. I was so upset because… I felt so bad that if I was there, I don’t get to pet the unicorn! [laughs]
Eric: Yeah!
Kat: High five, Jeanna.
Eric: That’s such crap!
Jeanna: High five! We get to touch the unicorn, Kat. Yeah!
[Michael laughs]
Kat: Girls rule, boys drool. Oh, yeah!
Jeanna: Woo! Slytherin!
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: So, is this some kind of…
Jeanna: I just really like to celebrate my House.
Eric: … cosmic payback for all the errors that the boys will ever give to women, like Harry and Cho?
Kat: Basically.
Eric: The Yule Ball where Ron did to… now, I guess obviously there’s a plot point to it where the boys then are among themselves, and so Harry and Ron are able to be bullied by Draco who knows what’s going on, who knows why Hagrid isn’t at work. Did you guys think there was anything about that unicorn thing, or was that kind of like, “Hey, whatever”?
Michael: Well, the other big thing about it is that it immediately turns the girls to Grubbly-Plank’s side, so that when Harry’s like, [as Harry] “Does anyone want Hagrid back?” all the girls are like, “No! God no!”
Eric: Yeah, yeah.
Michael: And so I think that’s the other purpose, to show that Hagrid is… and this is something we’ve talked about quite a bit. Hagrid… I almost feel like if Grubbly-Plank and Hagrid taught together, the class could actually be good.
[Eric laughs]
Kat: Yeah! No, that’s true.
Michael: Because Grubbly-Plank has a really great sense of the more calm creatures, but she still knows how to make them interesting. And Hagrid kind of goes to the other extreme. But he also… I mean, admittedly, he does know how to make… I think one of his best lessons on record is the hippogriff lesson.
Kat: Hmm. Yeah.
Michael: If you discount what happened with Malfoy, but that was Malfoy’s fault.
Eric: Well, not only was that Malfoy’s fault, but it then… I mean, even in the third book it’s said that Hagrid loses all confidence after that and just gives them really boring creatures…
Michael: Yeah, and then they just start watching Flobberworms.
Eric: … that aren’t going to attack anybody, so… yeah, it’s basically like Hagrid’s own – what’s the word? – confidence, and that is a huge factor in this chapter, too.
Michael: Yes.
Eric: But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Malfoy pulls out this piece of newspaper from his robe pocket because apparently, he was planning for just such an opportunity.
[Michael laughs]
Eric: It’s like, “I’m going to show him what’s going on. I got this in my pocket.” He pulls it out of his pocket. It is Rita Skeeter’s huge new article called “Dumbledore’s Giant Mistake.” Now, right off the bat you know that Rita is a bad person, is just grabbing at straws because it opens up with Rita mentioning that Hagrid was expelled in his – what is it – third year of Hogwarts? And we know that this is because he was falsely accused of opening the Chamber of Secrets. Readers know this by now, so the fact that she’s just trying to make this a smash fest of Hagrid and Dumbledore is just really… you take it… you’re just like, “I cannot believe she’d do this,” but anyway, reading on, she basically reveals Hagrid to be a half-giant. She reveals his mother, who was the giantess Fridwulfa. She questions Dumbledore’s placement of Hagrid at the school. She actually… this was interesting because she talked about Mad-Eye Moody. She’s like, “Wow, in comparison to Mad-Eye Moody, who just shoots spells at everybody if they make a sudden movement, he looks tame compared to Hagrid, this halfbreed, who is actually… ” She calls him a “part-human.” It’s really, really harsh, and she’s actually got some quotes from Draco and Goyle about how Hagrid basically is so brutal for having these creatures in school, and it’s really just this terrible piece. I really don’t want to.
Kat: She’s full of poop.
[Eric and Michael laugh]
Kat: She’s full of poop. She’s just awful.
Eric: Yeah. Well, people are willing to indulge her. People like Malfoy, people like Goyle. Blast-Ended Skrewts don’t even have teeth. How could they…
Kat: Flobberworms.
Eric: Flobberworms.
Jeanna: Flobberworms, which…
Eric: Flobberworms don’t even have teeth. Harry points this out.
Jeanna: Oh, that drove me nuts reading it because, honestly, one, Flobberworms don’t have teeth, [and] two, they’re such a lame creature that why would you even tell someone, “Oh, man, I got bit or hurt by one”?
Kat: A Flobberworm, yeah.
Jeanna: Just keep that on the DL.
Eric: If a Flobberworm hurts you it’s actually…
Kat: Embarrassing.
Eric: … reveals more about your character.
Jeanna: Yes. You just keep that to yourself…
[Eric laughs]
Jeanna: … and don’t even tell your bestie because that’s embarrassing. Especially as a Slytherin. No, you got to tough that out.
[Eric laughs]
Kat: Right, that’s like when you trip over the [unintelligible].
Jeanna: Don’t be telling people that.
Eric: The other Slytherins are taking Goyle out back and beating him for being such a weakling.
Kat: Totally.
Jeanna: “Why you got to admit that?” [makes noises of Goyle being beaten up]
Eric: No, I think that all the Slytherins know what’s up, though, and that’s the thing. When they go into this class, they all know. Draco and everybody… they all seem to know something that Harry doesn’t know, and this is why… and Dean and Seamus and them are all crowding around when this is happening, and they learn it pretty much all at the same time, but it is really a smear fest, and this is the same way with all of Rita Skeeter’s articles, though: The smarter a person you are, the quicker you’ll see right through them. Knowing that Flobberworms don’t have teeth, [you would know] that’s an invalid source. That is actually a lie or happens to answer a circumstantial comment, and it’s really just meant to smear somebody. It’s meant to achieve a political end. And it’s gossip is really what it amounts to.
Jeanna: But I have to say, “My questioning of the Flobberworm comment,” which you just brought up for the school-aged kids, “is the fact that parents read the Daily Prophet.” They read this paper. Why wouldn’t the parents just be like, “Okay, this kid got ‘bit by a Flobberworm?’ Really?”
Eric: Well, the larger issue is that she’s playing on people’s fear that they apparently have of giants, and this is the thing is there’s the historical piece in here about how giants actually were responsible for some of the most brutal mass Muggle killings and that they joined You-Know-Who and that, in fact, many of them were killed, but some of them, including Hagrid’s mother, apparently escaped and are still at large. She’s playing on this fear. She’s playing on this prejudice, and I think it really works.
Jeanna: Agreed, and can I just say… I completely agree with you that it seems to be working, but can I just say, “In Book 7 – which I guess I’m hopping – when we see the giants, they don’t seem to be doing this mass amount of damage. Yes, they do do damage to the castle and some of its inhabitants and all that, but it doesn’t seem like it’s just this blood bath that the giants are just…
Michael: I don’t know about that.
Kat: I would disagree with that.
Eric: I would point to Book 5.
Michael: The way Hagrid describes his encounter with them in Order of the Phoenix, they’re ripping each other’s bodies apart.
Jeanna: Well, each other, yes, there’s civil war with them, but it doesn’t seem… I don’t know. It didn’t seem like when they were taking on the castle it was just this hostile takeover. I don’t know. I may be forgetting things.
Kat: You can’t base it on movie canon, though.
Eric: Well, and I think as far as the giants go…
Jeanna: I may be forgetting things, yes.
Eric: … I think what the issue is is that because the wizards would consider them a less developed society because they just hang out in the wild and just communicate with each other, Voldemort takes advantage of that fact and just… because Voldemort has always gone for creatures of lesser intellignce. He always takes advantage of them.
Kat: Well, they’re easy to control.
Eric: Yeah, they’re easy to control because they don’t…
Michael: Well, they’re big. They’re massive.
Eric: Yeah, sorry, go on.
Michael: Oh, no, no. You’re fine. It’s just…
Eric: Oh, no, no. The two attibutes are that giants are huge – ginormous – and stupid, and that’s why Hagrid’s tale, which I believe is in the chapter “Hagrid’s Tale,” I think it’s called in Book 5, is so harrowing because he talks about the months and months and months where their rivals, the Death Eaters, are trying to recruit the giants by bringing them presents, and the fact that you can’t reason with giants by using words… you have to show a reward system to get them to move. Giants are terrifiyng, and in fact, the fact that Hagrid is alive after the events of Book 5 is really a big friggin’ deal because they are that terrifying. I completely get where Rita is coming from in the way that actual giants are in fact a force to be reckoned with. Now, we all know that Hagrid is the complete opposite of that. He’s been raised well and had enough of an environment. That’s the bigger picture here, and that comes into play at the end of this chapter. The bigger picture is that, really, it’s all about this half-breed craze, and even Dolores Umbridge in the next book has this huge thing against half-breeds, but I think this is really the seed of that, that she has ousted Hagrid basically out of revenge for him not giving her any good information on Harry[, which] has now caused Hagrid to seclude himself in his cabin and has called him out and has questioned Dumbledore’s placement of Hagrid at the castle.
Kat: Well, and…
Eric: As a teacher, as a gamekeeper, as everything. Simply on the basis of “he is related to these terrible creatures.”
Kat: The thing that struck me in this article is that it says, “as if this were not enough, the Daily Prophet has now unearthed evidence that Hagrid is not as he has always pretended to be – a pure-blood wizard.” When did Hagrid ever say that he was a pure-blood wizard? She’s just… I agree with everything you just said, Eric. She’s just sensationalizing everything and blowing everything out of proportion and making it about things that just aren’t true.
Eric: Plus, I’m fairly certain that there’s a very small list of pure-blood names…
Kat: There is.
Eric: … for wizards because there’s such a small population of wizards anywhere that you should be able to tell just by sombody’s name if they’re pure-blood or not. I mean, as a basis for ruling something out, it’s not like there’s a list of pure-blood Hagrids. Wasn’t his dad… was his dad a Muggle or a wizard?
Michael: His dad was a wizard.
Eric: He was a wizard? Okay, still. So…
Jeanna: Still, by this time, I would think the name “Hagrid,” which at this point to me seems uncommon, would be very much.. you could tell, like the namne “Malfoy,” if it’s pure-blood or not.
Eric: Yeah, well, it’s…
Jeanna: There'[re] only so many family trees that are still pure-blood.
Eric: It’s all in the adjectives, really, the way that Rita Skeeter says that Hagrid was able to use his unusual persuasive powers to get the Care of Magic Creatures job and how Hagrid has an unusual close friendship with Harry Potter, who made his mother’s kind retreat back into hiding. It’s these words that she uses to characterize it, like his “questionable” relationship with Dumbledore. [It] really digs deep, and it really says nothing in the end. However, the big thing that I don’t really think is really going to get talked about unless we bring this up is [that] she mentions that Hagrid is experimental[ly] breeding the Blast-Ended Skrewts, who are Fire Crabs and manticores, and this is a tiny little fact. Like I said, I don’t think we [would have talked] about it unless I brought it up because this actually appears to be the number one thing that Rita could actually have something on Hagrid for, the fact that there is this whole dDepartment for the Regulation and Control of [Magical Creatures], all this other stuff at the ministry, the fact that Hagrid thinks he’s above that or doesn’t have to regulate himself in his experimental breeding, the fact that he bred these Blast-Ended Skrewts, who are, let’s be honest, giving these kids some real bruises this school year just because he thought it was fun.
Michael: I brought this up on a previous episode when Harry – I think it’s Harry, Ron, and Hermione or Rita when she visits Hagrid’s cabin – asks about the breeding, and he doesn’t say anything. He pointedly changes the topic. Because the thing is, yes, if this article had come out, and that [were] the case, Hagrid would be in really, really deep trouble, so I’m wondering if it… my initial suspicion was one, because the Skrewts are used in the maze at the end of the tournament, that Hagrid was purposefully breeding them on ministry orders for the Triwizard Tournament and that that’s why he couldn’t say anything because he wasn’t suposed to reveal anything about that because…
Eric: Wow.
Jeanna: Oh. I want to believe that, but I feel like that’s not real.
Michael: Because technically, I mean, he bred – what was it? – a manticore and Fire Crab, and those things are extremely dangerous, but I mean, together, he… because the Skrewts are dangerous, but they’re not deadly, so he basically made a less deadly version of those two creatures.
Eric: That is unbelievable, man.
Michael: I’m wondering, though, if, going off of what you were saying, Eric, that instead, maybe – somebody write a fan ficiton about this, and we’ll read it on AudioFictions – Hagrid actually did get in trouble and that Dumbledore somehow stepped in and said, “No, no, no, no, no. Maybe we can compromise.”
Eric: That sounds just like Dumbledore. Is that a promise that you’ll read it on AudioFicitons because I would totally write a story. Actually, you know what I would write?
[Michael laughs]
Eric: I would write that the Blast-Ended Skrewt that Harry sees in the third task – not to get too out of line here – is the actual only surviving Skrewt, that it killed all the other ones and it won Survivor. It won Skrewt Survivor and won the honor of being in the third task.
Michael: In the last task. But I do think that Hagrid’s secrecy around it actually does have to do with the fact that he’s covering for the tournament itself because the ministry, yes, would have gotten on his case if he [were] breeding things.
Jeanna: You want to think that, but at the same time, as record shows in my opinion, Hagrid can’t keep a secret worth anything, so…
Kat: That’s not… I mean, that is true 99% of the time, but I’m with Michael on this oen. I defintely thnk that it was about the tournament.
Eric: Well, I’d never considered that, and now that that option has been brought up, I’m like “Wow, that’s amazing.”
Jeanna: It is amazing. I want that to be real.
[Eric laughs]
Jeanna: I guess the cynicism in me is like, “No, Hagrid is…”
Eric: It’s like the dragon. It’s just like having Norbert, though. That was legit taken away. He actually got that egg without anybody’s approval.
Jeanna: But he got that taken away, but at the same time the next time he got dragons, which was the tournament, he was like, “Harry, come on and see my dragons!”
[Eric and Michael laugh]
Jeanna: He couldn’t hold it together.
Eric: Yeah. But… so regardless, that was a point… it is brought up in Rita Skeeter’s article because she focuses on his lineage so hardcore and comes down so hard on Hagrid for that reason even… it’s overall a smash piece about Hagrid and Dumbledore, but it kind of protects him the way that she doesn’t focus on what is probably the biggest piece of evidence against Hagrid being at school in front of these kids. So guess what. The class ends and guess what. The girls loved it.
[Michael laughs]
Eric: Parvati Patil says, “I hope she stays. That’s more what I thought Care of Magical Creatures would be like. Proper creatures like unicorns, not monsters.”
Kat: Weak sauce. She’s hopeless.
Jeanna: I… this… that comment made me hate Parvati Patil the most out of anyone in this series because any time she’s in a class where people are like, “Oh, girlies, you’re the best in this,” she’s all over it.
Kat: Well, she’s definitely the ultimate girly girl, and we only see her a dozen times, and you can get…
Eric: Probably for moments like these, too, right?
Kat: Yes.
Jeanna: Yes, it drive me nuts!
Michael: Parvati and Lavender change tact a lot. When they go to Firenze’s first Divination class in Order, they’re like, “Aww, we miss Professor Trelawney… oh, but he’s so hot.”
[Kat and Michael laugh]
Jeanna: Yeah. It’s like, “Come on.”
Michael: And then he starts telling them that all of their previous knowledge of Divination is just BS, and then they’re like, “Oh, we don’t like him anymore, but he’s still so hot.” And it’s like, “Yeah…”
Jeanna: But at the same time, I have to… fresh eyes. We have to have this weak character to promote the Ginnys in the series.
Eric: Well, my point here… I mean, doesn’t she have a point? Come on. “Proper creatures like unicorns, not monsters.” Hagrid hasn’t really ever strictly taken into account the educational merit of his [beasts]. He does what he wants. He does creatures he thinks are interesting, and there is something to be said about a teacher having passion because you really think that you would learn a lot about hippogriffs if they had spent more time with them, but the fact that he didn’t make a point to endear any of the students to the creatures – not even their own course books, for crying out loud – shows that there might be something to be said about Grubbly-Plank and – even though it isolated all the boys, and I’m not okay with that…
[Michael laughs]
Eric: … in this lesson – the fact that she chose a proper creature. And unicorns, by the way, are supposed to be really hard to catch, so – and they stay away from humans, according to the actual Fantastic Beasts [and Where to Find Them] – it’s pretty impressive that this last-minute teacher, who may not have even been on campus, managed to get a unicorn. Maybe she flew in on it.
Jeanna: But at the same time, Hagrid may have wanted to have continued with hippogriffs, but because of the Draco incident…
Eric: Yeah.
Jeanna: … he may not have been allowed to.
Michael: Yeah, I…
Eric: Well, we see how his confidence wanes, and the class just tanks because of it.
Jeanna: Well, he was really belittled and berated because of this – honestly – fake incident that happened. And of course it’s going to shake his confidence and everything.
Eric: Well, and…
Jeanna: And on top of this… no, Hagrid may have had good intentions; it’s just especially in that third year, he really wasn’t able to continue with them because of Draco and Lucius. He really got hurt and skewed by it.
Michael: Yeah, no, I think that’s a good point to bring up just because that was an extreme situation because the school board got involved. And it ended up being a thing… that situation ended up being drawn out an entire year. So of course Hagrid wasn’t going to do anything riskier than… I’m sure he was afraid to do anything after that point.
Eric: Okay, this year…
Michael: So…
Eric: Michael, though, with the Skrewts this year, okay, they may show up in the third task. I had forgotten that, actually.
[Michael laughs]
Eric: So maybe it was about the third task this whole time, this whole year. But they’re frankly dangerous creatures. I think the reason that Rita Skeeter’s article affects so many on the school is there'[re] little bits in there where you’re like, “Shouldn’t things be different with Hagrid, anyway?” People won’t subscribe to her obvious bashing of half-breeds because of half-breeds, but they all agree that there are better…
Michael: See, and again that’s…
Eric: … ways of spending time.
Michael: I would just go back to saying that if Grubbly-Plank and Hagrid taught together… because I think the thing is that at least if Grubbly-Plank would consider the safety precautions of her class. Hagrid just jumps into… Hagrid has great ideas, and he has great… I think it is really sweet in Book 3 when Malfoy is like, “What is the deal with these books?” And Hagrid is like [as Hagrid], “Oh, I thought they were funny.” And I’m like, “Oh, he genuinely thought that was a good, engaging… “
[Eric laughs]
Michael: He genuinely thought that was a clever, engaging way to get his students interested in his topic. So I do think Hagrid has great ideas how to be interactive with his lessons and how to pull students in and really be a part of that class. But at the same time, I think Grubbly-Plank has the level headedness to say, “Well, let’s do this safely and with sense.” [laughs]
Jeanna: I agree. Hagrid is still, at certain instances, a student mentally…
Michael: Yes.
Jeanna: … where he has really great ideas. He just needs to hone his skills and his thoughts down to a certain topic and idea.
Michael: And too…
Jeanna: And Grubbly-Plank would have been awesome to help him with that had they been teaching together. But at the same time… I totally agree with you, Michael, but I feel like Hagrid would have been so [ticked off] that he had to teach with someone else…
Michael: Probably.
Jeanna: … that he would have just thrown his hands in the air and been like, “No. I’m not doing this.”
Eric: I don’t know. They could learn a lot. You definitely see the value in something like that. And that’s kind of cool, the fact that we all of a sudden, out of nowhere, have this opponent to Hagrid. Somebody else. A different way of doing the same class. And that’s basically what Parvati says. Now, when Parvati makes that comment, Harry gets a little defensive. He says, “Well, what would Hagrid do?” And she says, “Well, he could still retain his job as gamekeeper.” And that’s true. He does have two jobs. So he doesn’t need to be a teacher. It’s just something that was given to him by Dumbledore. Which is nice. But Hermione leaving the class… that was a really good lesson. I didn’t know half those things about unicorns that she taught him. So apparently, they really did learn a lot. If Hermione doesn’t know half the stuff about unicorns… come on. I mean, she reads a lot. You’ve got to see that there’s value in Grubbly-Plank’s teaching style.
Michael: Which again, Eric, that brings up our issue with you and me, being at the very edge of the paddock, trying to hear everything that Grubbly-Plank is saying. Well, she’s talking to… [laughs]
Eric: I’m sure if it weren’t for the scuffle between Malfoy and Harry, we’d be able to hear just fine.
Michael: I don’t know. I still would like to…
Eric: Yeah, it’s that convenient distance.
[Michael laughs]
Eric: It’s the convenient distance because Grubbly-Plank isn’t able to really pay attention to the scuffle…
Michael: Yeah.
Eric: … that’s obviously occurring, that has to occur for this chapter to exist. But at the same time, you get the sense that some boys… it’s a distance where they still could learn something from.
Michael: Mhm.
Eric: But yeah, she totally favored the girls on this one, so yeah. Whatever. Anyway, as soon as Hermione starts raving about how good the class was, Ron shoves the newspaper in front of her. And she reads it immediately and is just as shocked as Harry and Ron are. Interestingly, the biggest question here is how Rita got this information about Hagrid’s mother. And they really wonder how she’s going around hearing this. And maybe she overheard it. Maybe she was there, overhearing the same exact conversation that Harry and Ron – hint, hint – heard, and they don’t know how she’s doing it, if it’s true, if she’s got an invisibility cloak… but this is just more of those little hints where J.K. Rowling gets to throw a few phrases around like “hiding in bushes.” We don’t know how real they really were – how true they were – until the end.
Michael: No, yeah, this is… I’d say this is one of those Obligatory Genius Moments, Kat, if you will. Because the fact that we’ve gotten so much about the Animagus stuff in the previous book, but somehow we don’t even think of that. And the characters don’t even think of that. They don’t even suspect that, which would be a more obvious answer, really, at this point than an invisibility cloak. And we’ve just had a whole bookful of it, but our minds don’t jump to that so it is…
Eric: Does Harry still have the Marauder’s Map at this point in the book?
Michael: Yeah.
Kat: Yeah, of course he does.
Eric: Because she would show up under… even if she were an Animagus, even if she were under the invisibility cloak.
Michael: Yes, she would show up as Rita Skeeter.
Eric: She would show up. So if Book 4 Harry took a leaf out of Book 6 Harry’s book and actually went and followed the map as closely as he did when he was trying to find out where Draco was going all that time, he would very easily be able to see Rita Skeeter pretty much at all times, and he would have uncovered the mystery.
Michael: But as much as we all love Harry, he is not that forward thinking.
Eric: [laughs] Well, he’s just got other things to worry about, like this darn egg.
Michael: True that.
Eric: So the thing about the egg there is an upcoming Hogsmeade weekend, and Hagrid has not been showing up to class for a week or two. They went to his hut, they stood outside for ten minutes, he wouldn’t open the door, so that’s really the end of that conversation. But rather than staying in his dorm and figuring out the mystery of the egg, Harry decides that he wants to go to Hogsmeade because, hey, maybe he’ll bump into Hagrid. Basically when Hermione asks he tells her, “I’m pretty sure I’m mostly there on the egg,” and she believes him and says, “Oh, that’s really wonderful that you’re almost on your way.” So when they do go down to Hogsmeade though, guys, I think they run into somebody who does know what the egg is all about. Because they run across Victor Krum, who’s in a swimsuit in January, basically gets up on top of the… he’s on the ship, the Durmstrang ship, and he dives into the lake. Now is he just going for a swim because it’s warm in January to him, or do you guys think that he has already cracked the mystery by this point.
Michael: Oh, he knows.
Kat: Yeah, he knows.
Jeanna: I think he knows only because, when I was reading this, I was very… I wanted to look to see if he had the egg with him, because maybe he was also trying to figure it out, but he definitely doesn’t, and I thought that was kind of odd.
Eric: He’s just testing… he’s maybe exercising.
Michael: Yeah, I think he’s training to swim in the lake.
Eric: Well, if he’s practicing his transfiguring himself into a shark shouldn’t he have a buddy? Because couldn’t that go drastically wrong when he’s underwater if he doesn’t successfully complete gills and dies.
Michael: See, I don’t think he was even doing that. I literally think he was just practicing swimming in the lake. I don’t think he thought to do transfiguration.
Kat: He’s doing the polar bear swim.
Michael: Well, then his transfiguration ends up being botched anyway.
Kat: It does.
Eric: Oh yeah, that’s a good point.
Michael: So he’s probably not practicing that.
[Eric laughs]
Kat: Yeah, polar bear swim.
[Michael laughs]
Eric: Okay, okay. Well, in Hogsmeade they do not run across Hagrid, but they do, however, see Ludo Bagman, who is in the Three Broomsticks, and there are some shady, shady goblins who are around his table, and they have their arms crossed and they look menacing, and it doesn’t bode well for Bagman here. And seeing Harry, Ludo comes over, pretends to be greeting an old friend, clearly to get away from the goblins. And he kind of stalls for time. He starts by congratulating Harry on his success in the First Task, and Harry just comes right out and asks him, “What are the goblins for?” Now, we don’t know at this point if it’s true or not, the story that Ludo gives, but he says that Barty crouch has disappeared. Barty Crouch Sr., Percy’s boss, has been absent for weeks at the Ministry. Apparently Percy has been getting his work instructions via owl, and they’re really trying to keep it under wraps. Basically, by Rita Skeeter, who would get a hold of a story like this and bring up Bertha Jorkins again, and really turn it into a huge debacle. But Bagman says that the goblins are looking for Crouch. I think we know that’s a lie.
Michael: Oh yeah, that’s a lie.
Kat: Definitely.
Eric: But the story that Crouch is missing is true, right?
Michael: Yes.
Kat: I wish that Rita had actually found out because… I mean, not that I’m a giant fan of Crouch but I feel like his demise is so depressing.
Michael: It’s pretty messed up, yeah.
Kat: And also, I feel like it would have put… Percy would have gotten a swift kick in the butt, basically, and maybe he would have woken up and he wouldn’t have wasted so many years not talking to his family.
Michael: Yeah, it is funny that the one thing Rita doesn’t get a hold of is probably the biggest story that could have changed a lot of things here.
Kat: A lot of things, yeah.
Michael: A lot of things, yeah.
Kat: For a lot of people.
Eric: Well, she’s too busy playing dirty in the dirt with children.
Michael: See, so that’s what would have happened if she was a true journalist. Could have made a difference.
Eric: Yeah, that’s a fair enough point. Now we do get a little bit more about Bertha Jorkins, though. Interestingly enough, Bagman seems to want to talk about everything except the trouble that he himself is in [laughs] with these goblins. He mentions that Bertha actually was between two houses when she disappeared. She was visiting her cousin, I think it is, in Albania and she was going to her aunt’s house when she disappeared, so this is far more specificity than I ever expected to find. I forgot it was in this book… the fact that she is actually just going between… they can probably figure out what road she was taken from when she ran into Wormtail, as we know that happened.
Kat: Right.
Michael: Well, and of course the sad part is that Ludo didn’t feel the need to do anything about it until now, so of course this information is completely useless to the Ministry.
[Eric and Michael laugh]
Eric: Yeah. He really could have sent… I’m sure that sort of thing would have come out within the first couple of days of investigation.
Michael: Yeah.
Eric: Because if she is there to visit family they would know… “Well, she visited me.” “Oh, but she didn’t visit me.” Clearly that – “and she was going to see you next” – that gives you a time and date basically for her disappearance. So anyway, a little bit of that, a little bit of pulling the lamp over – I don’t even know what I’m trying to say – Harry’s eyes. There is another thing that happens, which is that Bagman offers to cheat. He offers to give Harry a clue. And my question here… Harry doesn’t accept but there’s a really interesting dialogue. Harry does what is right. Bagman claims to want the best for Hogwarts, and Harry asks him, “Well, did you give Cedric this opportunity or advice?” and Bagman… “the smallest of frowns creases upon his face.” So we show that it is favoritism, but I kind of wonder if it is not something more. Does Bagman want something from Harry? And if Harry were to accept Ludo’s advice, would he be asking for a favor from Harry, “Help me get rid of these goblins”?
Michael: No, no.
Eric: Or something like that.
Michael: I thought it was that Ludo bet on Harry to win the Tournament.
Kat: He did. Yeah.
Michael: Right? And that’s…
Eric: So is it just his gambling addiction, which we’ve seen is crippling enough?
Kat: Yeah. Yeah.
Michael: Oh, yeah, I think so, because I mean, Ludo being the kind of gambler he is, he would not bet on Cedric to win because of the reputation of Hufflepuff. Which is to his discredit… [laughs]
Kat: Right.
Michael: … because Cedric does very well in the tournament. But yeah, no, it’s because he bet on Harry to win and the goblins are… and of course the goblins… he already owes them money.
Eric: Mhm.
Michael: So he is hoping he is actually going to win that money he has bet.
Eric: So he will cheat if he has to. See, that’s fascinating that it really just is always about gambling for Bagman. I think that’s really an adequate way of portraying an addict…
Michael: Oh, yeah.
Eric: … in these books, that it’s really all you think about. And you will compromise what used to be your own morals. When Harry returns to the table with Hermione and Ron, and tells Hermione, “Hey, Ludo offered to give me some help,” she is shocked that the head of his department – especially a judge of the Tournament – would offer to do that. But it shows how deep in debt or whatever else he was…
Michael: [laughs] It’s a great red herring, too, because it throws us off the trail of really being concerned about Crouch Sr. to a horrible extent because Ludo is the character that shows up here and goes, “Oh, it’s not a problem. Nothing’s a problem at all.” So then Harry doesn’t think about it and therefore we don’t, when really Ludo is screwing up everything that we’re supposed to be figuring out right now.
Eric: Mhm.
Kat: Right.
Michael: Because he just passes it off as unimportant, so it’s not only a great commentary on the addiction of gambling but also Ludo serves as the major red herring in this story, which is – I think – sadly why he is cut out of the movie. Because he is just a fake lead.
Kat: Well, yeah, and they change it… I mean, I don’t want to say they change it a lot, but they change it enough in the film where… yeah, they just… there is no point having him there.
Michael: Well, because all of this stuff is considered secondary in the movie because this whole chapter isn’t in the movie. [laughs]
Kat: Right, right. Exactly.
Eric: But this is such a cool chapter. [laughs]
Michael: Yeah, no. It’s a great chapter as far as…
Eric: Yeah.
Michael: … developing characters and back story and definitely building up what’s currently the back seat mystery, that’s going to come forward later. But of course, since Goblet of Fire has no subtlety as a film, that wasn’t important. [laughs]
Eric: [laughs] Well, now, who should show up? I mean, Bagman’s already in deep with his collectors, or debtors, or whoever it is. Fred and George show up, and we know that they’ve been writing to Bagman since the Quidditch World Cup because they want to get their real money that he owes them. They show up and…
Kat and Michael: Yeah.
Michael: Well, we don’t know that yet.
Eric: Oh, not yet? Okay.
Michael No. As readers we don’t know that. We think that Bagman’s excuse is actually the genuine reason right now.
Eric: Oh, I see. Okay, well, Fred and George show up. [laughs] They offer to buy him a drink. He declines. That’s really the end of that story. Clearly he doesn’t want to be bothered by yet more people he owes money to. It’s a sympathetic thing. Harry and Ron and Hermione do speculate a little bit about what the goblins wanted with Crouch, and Ron gets on Hermione’s case and says, “What? Are you going to start SPUG now? Or S-P-U-G?”
[Kat laughs]
Eric: Society for the protection of ugly…
Jeanna: I loved that just because it spelled “pug.” I thought that was so funny.
Eric: Oh, pug. You thought of a cute little pug?
Jeanna: Spug.
Kat: Yeah, that’s pretty funny.
Eric: Goblins are the furthest thing from cute, and if Harry and Ron had been paying attention in Professor Binns’s class, they would know all about the rebellions and the fact that goblins really actually don’t need humans to do actually anything for them.
Michael: Yeah, that’s a… this is a great little bit of information drop for later, as far as getting a sense of what the goblins are like. So… because of course…
Jeanna: The greed, and it’s so very non-chalant…
<
strong>Eric: Yeah.
Jeanna: … and thrown away that it is very perfectly placed.
Kat: Another OGM.
Michael: Oh, definitely… oh, because…
Jeanna: Yes.
Michael: … it’s so nice, because in this situation, it just – it doesn’t even feel out of place. It feels like Hermione’s just kind of serving to do some really nice, extra world building. Because saying something like that… she didn’t have to say that, but it really does make the world feel more full and complete. And it back references things, because we know that Binns has talked about the goblin rebellions before. And then, of course…
Eric: It’s all he talks about.
Michael: … and then, of course, it ends up being a major reference for Deathly Hallows, so, yeah, it is a very clever, just little drop of information.
Eric: A little drop of dew in the morning. But… I don’t know where that came from.
[Michael laughs]
Kat: Anyway, it was very nice.
Eric: Quickly, the mood changes. This is the reason to read this chapter. Rita Skeeter comes in…
Kat: Wearing banana yellow robes, nonetheless, might I add.
Eric: Yes, banana yellow with hot pink nails.
Kat: Shocking pink, yup.
Eric: Yeah, shocking, shocking pink nails. And with her, is her photographer, Bozo, who I thought was a complete movie-ism. But…
Michael: No, that’s his name.
Eric: Yeah, he’s totally, he’s there. Paunchy and everything. Anyway, he’s there. She’s looking very satisfied. She had actually just run into Bagman outside, so we didn’t see it happen. But she’s coming in, she’s talking to Bozo about it, about how he made some excuse, and he never told the truth about this other thing. Harry, who… they didn’t find Hagrid. They still haven’t seen him since this all came out, lets the emotions go. He says, “Trying to ruin someone else’s life?”
[Michael laughs]
Eric: And now what happens is obviously an exchange between each of them, the trio, really Harry and then really Hermione, to Rita Skeeter. But something happens in the Three Broomsticks, which is that not only does the place go silent, but people seem to genuinely be hearing and feeling everything that Harry and Hermione and all of them are feeling. And I don’t think it’s a stretch. I mean, Rosmerta overflows a goblet that she’s pouring, which you never do that, because that’s a waste of money. But people are really intent on Harry handing Skeeter her ass, but it doesn’t quite get to that necessarily. He does get some digs in. He says, “I wouldn’t go near you with a ten-foot broomstick. What did you do that to Hagrid for? Who cares if he’s a half giant? There’s nothing wrong with him.” Rita really tries to spin it her way and say, “Well, let’s talk about this. Why don’t you give me an interview and we’ll talk about Hagrid from your perspective?” She doesn’t admit defeat, to her credit. She is just as horrible person as ever. So Hermione stood up, this is a quote from the book, “Butterbeer clutched in her hand as though it were a grenade.”
[Michael laughs]
Kat: I love it, I love it.
Michael: Yeah.
Eric: This shows you the tension that’s in this room right now. And she accuses Rita of doing anything for a story, and that she’ll go after anyone, even Ludo Bagman – she comes in and says, “Oh, we should do a story on Bagman. We can say this, that and the other thing.” Now, Rita does retort. She says, “I know things about Ludo Bagman that would make your hair curl. Not that it needs it.” But that may be a reference to actual misdeeds by Bagman in the past. What do you guys think?
Kat: Yeah, absolutely because…
Michael: I think so.
Kat: … here’s this whole backstory that we talked about before but… with the Death Eaters and the Ministry and all of that jazz. So I definitely think that she thinks that she knows things. Maybe they aren’t true things, maybe they are true things. I mean, we never really learn but I think that she probably knows a lot more secrets than even she puts out into the world.
Eric: See, that’s shocking because you’d think she’d put out everything. [laughs] But she’s waiting for a…
Kat: I don’t know, some secrets could ruin…
Eric: You just have to learn how to…
Kat: Yeah, I think she’s not afraid to hurt people and to say things that are scandalous, but I think that she’s not one to screw people over who are in power, and she’s not going to put something out there that is going to reflect negatively on her or her career.
Michael: Well, and I think too that she’s… for all of her faults and her horribleness, Rita’s… she’s smart.
Kat: She is.
Michael: And I’m sure if she had good information, she would just… especially if it was on somebody big. She would just wait for the right moment to drop it.
Eric: Yeah.
Michael: She’s not going to just report on Bagman just because.
Kat: Right.
Michael: Because it has to have some benefit to her. I mean, she lies – the thing that’s interesting about that, in regards to this particular incident, is she doesn’t target Hermione right away. She doesn’t get to Hermione right away. She takes her time. She gets what she feels is the best information possible on her to make up a story. She doesn’t do it right away though, because it’s after the Second Task.
Kat: Right.
Eric: Oh, I didn’t realize that. Well, they’re walking away from Hogsmeade, they walk out is what happens here. The trio walks out. Ron warns Hermione. He says, “She’s going to be after you.” And Hermione’s response is, “Who cares?” Hermione’s response is, “My parents don’t read The Prophet, she can have nothing on me. She can’t… ” Hermione doesn’t know, of course, how terrible Rita really is, but I think, really, it’s a win for the trio in this chapter, the fact that they stood up for their friend at this crucial moment and made Rita look really bad. Even though she handled it smarter than you would hope, the fact that everybody was watching this argument. And it’s not just, “Oh, it’s drama, we have to watch it.” I really felt like certain people in that room would have agreed with her and maybe I’m just reading into it too much because at the end of the chapter we get another instance of that, but I’ll just…
Kat: No! No, I think you’re right. I think that probably most people in the wizarding world have wanted to say those things to Rita at some point and they are listening because it’s like, “Oh, somebody’s actually speaking their mind and…
Eric: Yeah, and add to that, it’s Harry Potter. [laughs]
Kat: Right, exactly. Exactly.
Eric: But yeah, she does do this horrible thing and another point about this is I wanted to say, if you view Rita Skeeter as J.K. Rowling’s opinion on all media or press or Rita can write these scathing things about people that are so terrible and immature in a way, but she gets away with it. The world has created her. She is not some random person.
Kat: That’s so true.
Eric: The fact that she is able to get away with doing what she’s doing, the fact that even some people read her work and that it’s so prominently featured in the Daily Prophet is really a comment on the wider world that we are meant to think about. So, anyway, they resolve to go try Hagrid’s door once again and they walk straight from Hogsmeade. They’re so upset that they just ran into Rita Skeeter, they’re going to go and demand that Hagrid answer the door and speak to them. So they’re all banging on the door and Hermione shouts, “We know you’re in there! Nobody cares if your mom was a giantess. You can’t let that foul Skeeter woman do this to you. You’re just being…” and the door opens. Now, is this first time… Kat, you have to tell me, is this the first time in the series… because you’ve been with this…
[Michael laughs]
Eric: … show since the beginning – that Dumbledore has opened a door in front of the trio? Has… is this Dumbledore opening the Dumbledore?
Kat: It is Dumbledore opening the Dumbledore! Is it the first time? I don’t think so, but I’m pretty sure he opens a door in Prisoner.
Eric: Ah!
[Michael laughs]
Kat: But yes, this is a token moment for this show. It’s very special.
Eric: A token moment for this show! Dumbledore opens a door.
Kat: Yup. Very special.
Eric: Of course, the tagline for this show is, “Open the Dumbledore.” So Dumbledore is with Hagrid. See, how cool is this? Now, say what you want about Dumbledore, although it better all be good or he’ll break your knee caps.
[Michael laughs]
Kat: Oh!
Eric: He was really thrown under the bus. We may have under scored it – or not under scored it at this point – but Dumbledore was as much called into question in a way as was Hagrid in this article because it really is about how Dumbledore allows Hagrid to continue on. Not only is Hagrid brutal because he’s a giant and giants are brutal, but Dumbledore allows this to happen. Just like Mad-Eye Moody, Dumbledore’s crazy. So Dumbledore really did get thrown under the bus a little bit too in this article and the fact that he is there in Hagrid’s cabin comforting him, there’s huge things of tea and it’s really all about, the last part of this chapter is really all about convincing Hagrid that he can and must go back to work. He’s really just… it’s a character moment for Dumbledore because we see how kind he is. Also, that’s just Dumbledore. He is selfless. He is doing what he needs to. He is also not phased by what Rita said and this is the… he realizes that there may be repercussions from it, obviously, but if anything, the response that he’s been getting is good. And this is the thing, jumping ahead a couple sentences, but basically he tells Hagrid that he has received letters – countless letters, he says – from adults who remember Hagrid, who went to Hogwarts and said and actually in these letters saying that if Dumbledore sacks Hagrid they would be upset, that they would have something to say about it.
Michael: Yeah, no, this is a really… I really like this moment because it’s – and we’ll get into this a little more in just a bit – but it’s really nice to see that Dumbledore is a champion at empathizing and really just making people feel better. He’s really good at that because I love the quote you put here, Eric, where he says, [as Dumbledore] “Really Hagrid, if you were holding out for universal popularity, I’m afraid you’ll be in this cabin for a very long time.” [back to normal voice] I wanted to pull that and use that in future because that was a great… that’s a lovely quote.
Eric: Mhm.
Michael: I… past self me could have really used that quote.
Jeanna: Agree. That’s the type of quote you… our generation will teach their children.
Michael: Yes. Yeah.
Eric: It’s like a better, more Dumbledore-ian version of “You can’t please everybody.”
Michael: Yes. Yes, but it’s said so eloquently and it’s so clear. It’s just a very lovely way of phrasing that.
Eric: Well, on the other hand, half of that quote… I mean, maybe the reason that this article by Rita Skeeter doesn’t affect him as much is because he says, “Not a week has passed since I became Headmaster of this school that I haven’t had an owl from somebody complaining about how I run it.”
Michael: Well, and it’s been implied as well that… he implies that when he meets Rita, when he sees her at the wand ceremony and he’s… he says something about she called him a dingbat or something like that in a previous article?
[Eric and Michael laugh]
Michael: And so, it’s implied that they’ve had quite a relationship as far as what she’s written about him. So, I think that he’s probably… I could see Dumbledore initially being pretty bothered by it but then eventually just being like, [as Dumbledore] “Oh, whatever.”
Eric: Mhm.
Michael: So I think that that’s just from time.
Eric: Yeah. Well, talking about name-calling, though, I mean, Harry calls her a cow.
[Eric and Michael laugh]
Kat: That’s the… I love that moment.
Eric: It’s weird.
Jeanna: That’s awesome.
Eric: Yeah.
Jeanna: Because he’s like, “She’s such a cow. Sorry, professor.”
[Eric and Michael laugh]
Kat: And then he’s like, “I have gone temporarily deaf.”
Michael: [as Dumbledore] “Temporarily deaf.” [laughs]
Jeanna: See, that also… I was going to say, this is one of my favorite Dumbledore chapters in the series because he’s fun grandpa Dumbledore where he’s like, “Ah, yes, children, you’re exactly right,” and – not exactly right. He’s fun and whimsical and he lets them do their own thing because he knows they’re on the right path.
Eric: Mhm.
Michael: Yeah.
Jeanna: And they’re just trying to be… whether they know it or not, they’re trying to be good kids. They’re just still kids at this point, where they’re like, “Hagrid, this is ridiculous!” And… I don’t know. I just… this is…
Eric: He knows it will help his case, too. He’s like…
Jeanna: Yes, exactly.
Eric: Yeah.
Jeanna: The voice of children is one of the most resounding. So, he’s like, “Let them speak.”
Eric: Even one of the first things they say, “We still want to know you.” Hagrid is like, “You still want to know me?” I mean, maybe that again points to just how feared giants really are and how – I mean, Lupin, for instance, resigns.
Jeanna: No!
Eric: Well, Lupin resigns.
Jeanna: I don’t think it speaks to the fear of giants. I think it speaks to the morale and self-esteem of Hagrid.
Michael: I don’t know, though, because…
Jeanna: I think it speaks more to Hagrid.
Michael: When you think about Ron’s reaction, though, Ron being somebody who’s been in the wizarding world a long time, and he fricken flips when he finds out that Hagrid’s a giant, a half-giant. That’s a big deal. I mean, Hermione, I think, has the more logical reaction, which is like, [as Hermione] “Well, duh! How did you all not know?” [back to normal voice] But even Malfoy’s like, [as Malfoy] “I thought he just swallowed some Skele-Gro.” [laughs]
Kat: Idiot.
Eric: So it should be obvious.
Jeanna: But Ron has been held up as an ignorant…
Kat: He is pretty ignorant. That’s true.
Michael: No, see, I don’t think…
Jeanna: He’s not pure. Is he pure-blood? Am I confused on this?
Michael: I’m going to raise my hand and say that that’s a movieism. I think that’s something we get from the movies.
Jeanna: No! No, I honestly thought…
Michael: Because Ron…
Jeanna: I could be wrong, but I thought J.K. Rowling said Ron is a poster child. He’s like a Draco in the sense that he’s been taught a certain way and deviating from that way is a WTF moment, where it’s like…
Eric: He represents the views of wizarding…
Michael: Yeah.
Eric: … of most… of general… because he’s been raised in a wizarding family.
Jeanna: Yeah.
Eric: But, yeah.
Michael: No, I…
Eric: I agree with Jeanna. It doesn’t mean that they’re right.
Jeanna: Most wizard kids are taught half-giants or all giants – I’m sorry – half-breed giants or full-on giant is very bad, very scary, not a good person, not a good friend to be around. And so when Ron finds out, he’s like, “Oh my God, what have I been doing with my life?”
Michael: Yeah, no. I think that’s something I should have clarified, but I think that’s what you guys were getting at was what I meant is that Ron is ignorant, but he’s in the same camp as ignorance as the entire… as the majority of the wizarding world.
Eric: Yeah.
Michael: But he’s not… I mean, what he’s saying is… the fact that Ron flips I do think is a reflection of what most wizards would think in this situation. So I don’t necessarily think this is a reflection just of Hagrid. I do think Hagrid’s lack of confidence is a major part of it because I could see another character with more confidence being able to be like, “Well, who cares? I’m still going to go forward and be a teacher,” especially with the support from somebody like Dumbledore. But I do think that the reaction and Hagrid’s feelings towards… with the reaction towards him, I think it’s fair and I think it’s expected for what the wizarding world would think.
Eric: Mmm. Yeah. Well, I mean, here’s another question I wanted to ask. Shouldn’t Hagrid really just suck it up and get over it at this point?
Kat: Yes!
Eric: Hagrid… we see that Hagrid is such a mess, an emotional mess, and I don’t want to criticize the character. We know that it was a very bad thing that happened in Prisoner of Azkaban, but yet again this thing happens that means Hagrid is not only not able to function as a teacher, he’s not coming out of his house. I’m surprised he’s not drunk like they find him in previous books. Or later, he doesn’t know how to take care of himself. He is a big sloppy, sopping mess. And should he not have the personal fortitude… Dumbledore has been at his back since that second… since that third year of school. We found this… it’s reiterated at the end of this chapter that Dumbledore’s always had his back, and it’s been over a week now. Shouldn’t Hagrid really be getting back to class? Shouldn’t he really have the internal confidence to keep going and not be such a wreck all the time when something like this happens?
Jeanna: You’d think, but when you’re so fragile, no, it’s understandable that something pretty devastating happens to him.
Eric: Well, he’s the least likely to… who’s targeting him? He wouldn’t hurt a soul. So, I think it’s that. I…
Jeanna: He wouldn’t, but still, someone is saying he would…
Eric: Yeah.
Jeanna: … and that’s upsetting to him.
Michael: Well, and yeah, this goes back and the comparison that Hermione makes is perfect about werewolves. You could say the same thing about Lupin.
Eric: Well, Lupin does resign when it’s found out…
Jeanna: He does.
Eric: … that he is a werewolf.
Michael: Well, he resigns…
Eric: I mean, that’s really the thing you’ve got to look at is comparing werewolves and giants the way, I mean, Hermione did in this chapter. But Lupin, when people find out, he resigns because people… he says, “Well, teachers wouldn’t want their thing…” maybe it’s just a matter of keeping the curse active on DADA teachers?
Michael: Yeah, definitely, that’s something.
Eric: But, I mean, look at what Hagrid did. Dumbledore tells him, “I refuse to accept your resignation. PS, you aren’t the DADA teacher, so I can say that.”
[Michael laughs]
Eric: But it really is, again, it goes back to that he is being targeted and being called this horrible person because of his lineage, something he can’t change. It’s out of the blue. Nobody knows how she got that information. So, it’s still… you feel a little betrayed. You feel a little shocked. You’re completely confused about the whole situation. It’s very mysterious. And then, for giants to be such a terrible race, that you’re somehow outed like it’s some kind of dirty secret, it really comes down to what is said at the end of this chapter, which Hagrid is a half-breed and Dumbledore has always been the champion of the half-blood, half-breed, of these people who may not have come from the most respectable background and this is right out of the words of Hagrid himself, when he – Dumbledore leaves, he shows them the picture of his dad and him and he says to Harry, “You’ve got to win this tournament, Harry. You’ve got to win it for me, for half-bloods, for all of us because you have to prove that we can be something great,” and he really sees it as this cause, where Rita Skeeter has said, “That’s his weakness. He doesn’t come from this pure-blood family. He’s half-giant, for crying out loud. You’re a terrible person. He’ll never get anywhere.” Hagrid feels like Harry is somehow the representation of all of this evil stuff that Skeeter is flinging, for him to somehow represent the underdog in this whole situation. So the complex tournament already got – or just got – a little bit more complicated. But that concludes, guys, our discussion of Chapter 24, “Rita Skeeter’s Scoop,” Goblet of Fire.
Kat: Okay, so this week, the Podcast Question of the Week falls on my shoulders and I want to touch on something that is a conversation that I feel like we’ve probably all had at one point. I know we’ve discussed it on the show many a time. Jeanna has said she’s discussed it with her friends. So let’s go.
[Eric laughs]
Kat: So in this chapter, obviously, we know that we learn a lot about Hagrid, his backstory, and even bits about his parents. So we have a question about that. We want to expand on Hagrid’s world a little bit here. So we’re wondering about Hagrid’s parents and how they came together. What attracted them to each other? His father is a wizard. His mother is a giantess. How did they meet? Were they in love? Or was it a chance encounter? [laughs] And of course, the piËce de rÈsistance, how did Hagrid come to be? Now, let’s keep it PG because this is a family show.
Eric: Do you think a goat was involved?
Michael: Oh, God. [laughs]
Kat: Geez. Those comments, not PG, okay?
[Eric laughs]
Kat: Let’s keep it Sheldon-esque, very scientific.
Eric: Ooh.
Michael: Oh, no! No, no.
Kat: No, I’m just kidding.
[Michael laughs]
Kat: But tell us what you think. We really want to know more what you think about Hagrid’s parents and how that happened.
Eric: I want this on Pottermore.
Kat: That would be really great.
Eric: Because Jo would treat it well.
Kat: I think she would, too. Maybe once she listens to this episode and listens to the next episode…
[Eric and Michael laugh]
Kat: … because we know she listens, like, obvi.
Eric: Yeah, yeah.
Kat: It will inspire her to put it on Pottermore. So tell us what you think about it.
Eric: But in the meantime, it’s our… before Jo shoots it down, all of our theories… [laughs]
Kat: Yeah, exactly. It’s ours.
Eric: We all get to talk about it.
Michael: And of course, Jeanna is going to go have all of her friends bring us some input on this, right, Jeanna?
[Jeanna laughs]
Kat: Right.
Jeanna: You make my friends sound so crazy. I will…
Eric: [laughs] You’re the one saying, “I have a Facebook group about things just like this!”
[Kat laughs]
Jeanna: No, I don’t!
Michael: But…
Eric: The random, lewd oddities.
Jeanna: No! This is not the topic of our group!
Michael: But we appreciate that kind of enthusiasm, Jeanna, and of course, we thank you for coming on the show for this episode.
Jeanna: Oh, thank you. [laughs]
Kat: It’s been a good one. It’s been a long episode, guys, but I think it’s been really great.
Michael: There was some good conversation in here.
Eric: Now, so, to find out how you, the listener…
[Jeanna laughs]
Eric: … can be on our show, just head over to our website and click on the “Be on the Show” page at alohomora.mugglenet.com. We do ask – or we require – that you have the appropriate audio equipment. And in addition to that, we are actually… speaking of audio equipment, we are taking your audio questions for upcoming episodes. This is a big change, guys. This is sort of different to what we’ve been doing where we were reactionary, accepting only comments for previous chapters. We are now accepting questions for upcoming chapters as well. Kat, do you want to explain a little bit more about how this works?
Kat: Yeah, what we’re going to do is we want your audio questions. So if you’re reading next week’s chapter, prepping for the episode, and you’re like, “Man, I really want them to talk about this. I have an amazing question for them,” we need you to leave us a voicemail at our voicemail, which is 206-GO-ALBUS – 206-462-5287 – or at Audioboo, which is on our site, alohomora.mugglenet.com. And we may potentially play your question on the show and talk about it. We’re only going to do one per episode because we really want it to be original content and our opinions. So…
Eric: Yeah, but we’ll do it during, what, the chapter discussion, right?
Kat: Right, during the chapter discussion for that particular episode.
Eric: Okay.
Michael: That’ll make sure that we don’t forget about things like Rita Skeeter beetle. So…
[Eric laughs]
Kat: Yeah, but make it…
Michael: Or ask something more in depth than that. [laughs]
Kat: Yes, that was my point. So yeah, that’s starting next show. So as soon as you listen to this and you read the chapter, go read the next chapter and send us in your questions. And remember, it’s only audio questions. So send us in a voicemail or an Audioboo. There you go.
Eric: Yes, and of course, be sure to check out the Alohomora! store, which is located via our website, alohomora.mugglenet.com. There are a lot of products to choose from, including T-shirts – both short and long-sleeved now – tote bags, sweatshirts, flip-flops, water bottles, travel mugs, and more coming soon. We have new designs, including Mandrake Liberation Front and Desk!Pig, running gag themes, show host shirt themes, comments, taglines, phrases, everything. Everything you could possibly imagine. Over 80 products to choose from, and ringtones available all at the Alohomora! store.
Michael: We also have an Alohomora! app, which is available seemingly worldwide, as we always say. Prices vary. The app includes transcripts, bloopers, alternate endings, host vlogs, and more. You never know, possibly a party in the Hufflepuff common room. So make sure and check that out. But for this episode, after Dumbledore so kindly opened the Dumbledore, we are going to close the Dumbledore on this episode. [claps hands] I am Michael Harle.
Eric: I’m Eric Scull.
Kat: [laughs] Guys…
[Everyone laughs]
Michael: Kat is a hot mess.
Kat: It’s one in the morning! And I’m Kat Miller. Thanks for listening to Episode 62 of Alohomora!
[Show music begins]
Eric: I’m not sure, are we opening or closing the Dumbledore? You just said close the Dumbledore.
[Michael laughs]
Kat: Open it back up and close it again.
Eric: Close the Dumbledore. Open the Dumbledore.
[Show music continues]
Eric: This is Episode 62 of Alohomora! for December 21, 2012. Wait…
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: You know what I was thinking? That was the Mayan doomsday, right? December 21, 2012. So it’s been a year.
Jeanna: No, it was the 12th.
Michael: We made it one year! [laughs]
Eric: It’s been a year, guys. No, it wasn’t the 12th. It was 12/21/12.
Jeanna: Oh, I thought it was 12/12/12. You’re right. I’m sorry. Keep going.
Eric: No, it’s 12/21/12. You can look this up. But we survived, guys. We are here. Let me redo that.
[Michael laughs]
Eric: Open the Dumbledore.
Michael: [as Dumbledore] And then close it immediately.
Kat: [as Dumbledore] Slam it in my face. That’s how I like it.
