Transcript – Episode 121
[Show music begins]
Eric Scull: This is Episode 121 of Alohomora! for January 24, 2015.
[Show music continues]
Eric: Hello, everyone, and welcome to another exciting episode of Alohomora! I’m Eric Scull.
Kat Miller: I’m Kat Miller.
Michael Harle: I’m Michael Harle. And joining us this week on our global reread of the Harry Potter series is our guest, Bob Q. And he is up way late because he’s all the way out in Amsterdam. So thank you, Bob, for joining us. Say hi to everybody.
Bob Q.: Hi, everybody. This is Bob.
[Eric, Kat, and Michael laugh]
Eric: Hi, Bob.
Bob: Bob Q.
Michael: Hi, Bob.
Bob: Hi. Hi.
[Michael laughs]
Bob: Thanks for having me.
Michael: And Bob, tell us a little about yourself: when you got into Harry Potter, what your House is, all of the details.
Bob: Well, I am a proud Gryffindor, or a 70% Gryffindor, at least, 15% Ravenclaw, 10% Hufflepuff, and 5% Slytherin.
Michael: Ooh.
Bob: Yeah. And I have a chestnut wand with a phoenix core, 11 3/4 inches and slightly springy.
Kat: Wow.
Bob: And according to some cheesy Internet Patronus test, my Patronus is an otter, but that’s…
Michael: Oh, so like Hermione.
Bob: Yes, but that’s okay until… I think they only had like the ones that were in the film or in the book or whatever, but until Jo comes up with her real one, and then maybe it would be a tiger. I have a love of cats, so…
Kat: Oh, me too.
[Sound of a thud and a cat yowling]
Bob: So a tiger would be a good one, so I think.
Michael: Tiger would be a good one. Just like a royal tiger, like Rajah.
Kat: Rajah.
Bob: Yeah, well, and I got into Harry Potter later, actually, as an adult in my 30s, so I came to the series late but fell in love with it immediately, and I think the 11-year-old geek in me was like, “If I had only had a wand when I was 11.” It would have made things easier.
[Bob and Michael laugh]
Michael: I think we all were thinking that, whether we were 11 or not at the time. [laughs]
Bob: And I have a slightly, almost unhealthy relationship with the audiobooks, so…
[Michael laughs]
Eric: Yeah, you were telling us you enjoy the Stephen Fry versions, right?
Bob: Yeah, those are the ones I got into first, so those are the ones I fell in love with, and I’ve listened to Jim Dale’s. I have some of his, and his are great, but just Stephen Fry… You get used to certain storytelling.
Eric: Yeah, I’m sure they were more easily available as well, being where you are.
Bob: Yeah, actually, they were at the library. I checked them out from the library. That’s why, so…
Eric: Yeah, that’s the way to do it.
Bob: Unlike 30 CDs: “Goblet of Fire on 30 CDs.”
[Eric and Kat laugh]
Michael: And since you’re out in Amsterdam, have you read Harry Potter in another language or have you just read it in English?
Bob: I’ve only read it in English because in the Dutch version, for instance, they changed a lot of the names, and it just bothers me because I read it in English first, so Dubmledore is Perkamentus and you’re like, “What? No! It’s Dumbledore.”
[Eric and Kat laugh]
Eric: It’s Dumbledore!
Bob: But they don’t change Voldemort. He’s the same. So you think, “Why would you…?” And it’s not that “Dumbledore” means anything in Dutch, so why would…?
Kat: Why would you change it, right? No, yeah, that is odd.
Michael: What does “Perkamentus” mean?
Bob: It doesn’t mean anything either. That’s what’s funny.
[Eric, Kat, and Michael laugh]
Bob: Who knows?
Eric: Some really proud translator was just stretching their fingers. “I’m going to do this.”
Kat: Right. It’s like autocorrect on the phone. They tried to type “Dumbledore,” and they got…
Michael: “Perkamentus.”
[Bob and Michael laugh]
Kat: … “Perkamentus” instead.
[Michael laughs]
Eric: Darn that autocorrect.
Bob: Oh, and I wanted to… if I could do a shoutout real quick to my friend Kristen and her daughters Elsa and Eva, who are huge Alohomora! fans…
Kat: Oh, well, hello.
Bob: … and to my niece and nephew Ellie and Greg, who are huge Potter fans, and it’s something that I really find special that I can share my love of Harry Potter with the next generation, so…
Michael: Absolutely. And that is something that is…
Eric: And Elsa in Amsterdam… Can she make snow with her hands?
Kat: Oh, God.
Eric: I knew you were going to do that.
Bob: Actually, Elsa looks like Elsa from Frozen, and she went as [Elsa] for Halloween. Her mom made the costume.
Eric: Oh my God.
Bob: And her sister… They’re both Ravenclaws. Actually, they’re all three Ravenclaws. Eva went as a raven for Halloween, so…
Michael: Oh, that is adorable.
Bob: They were amazing. So the Elsa costume was really great too, so…
Michael: Aww. That’s so cute. [laughs]
Eric: I was going to say, “It sounds like you’re doing everything right over there.”
[Bob, Kat, and Michael laugh]
Eric: Nice to have you on, Bob.
Bob: Thanks, thanks. It is great to be here.
Michael: Well, as we mentioned before, we’ve talked a little bit about Perkamentus, who is in this chapter a lot.
[Eric, Kat, and Michael laugh]
Michael: And the chapter that we are going to be exploring… he will be in this chapter a lot this week. It’s Chapter 3 of Half-Blood Prince: “Will and Won’t,” and we want to remind you listeners to make sure [to] read that chapter before listening in to the discussions so you can get the most out of it.
Kat: So let’s move into our recap comments from last week, shall we? Which was Chapter 2.
Michael: Oh. We shall.
Kat: Chapter 2. I know. We are so far into Half-Blood Prince already, guys.
[Eric laughs]
Michael: But boy, the overwhelming enthusiasm in the comments we are getting from Half-Blood already.
Kat: I know. Well, for a lot of people, it’s their favorite book.
Michael: It’s up there for a lot of people on their list, yeah. It’s showing, you guys.
Kat: Rightly so, rightfully so.
Michael: Absolutely.
Eric: Keep them coming. Keep doing this. We love it.
Kat: So our first comment here comes from Ellen Dawn on the main site, and it’s part of a much longer comment that she has, and this is the very last paragraph of it. I really wanted to put the whole thing in here, but this is only an hour-long show, so…
[Eric and Michael laugh]
Eric: That’s okay. I also truncated Ellen Dawn a little later in the episode. So that’s okay. [laughs]
Kat: Oh, okay. Well, she had a lot to say, so…
Eric: Yes, very important, very cool things to say.
Kat: Right. So our first comment here says,
“I love the comment made on the episode about Snape living in his parent[s’] old house. I had never really given this much thought before. This first made me [think of a] parallel to Sirius being stuck in his parent[s’] old house on the orders of Dumbledore, even though Sirius really didn’t want to be there. My mind then jumped to the question of whether Dumbledore had any say in the fact that Snape was living in his parent[s’] old house. You guys mentioned that it would be hard for Snape because he is surrounded by places where he would [associate] memories with Lily. I wonder if Dumbledore pushed him to continue living there for that very reason. To keep memories of Lily fresh in his mind and help Snape along the path of staying loyal to the good side. Although throughout the books Dumbledore act[s] as though he is unfailingly convinced regarding Snape’s loyalty, I’m sure Dumbledore wouldn’t [have] overlook[ed] the fact that Snape is in a position to easily turn back to the dark side if he wanted to. I see it being realistic that, at the very least, Dumbledore would encourage Snape to live in Spinner’s End.”
Michael: Oh, that’s messed up. [laughs]
Bob: Yeah, that’s really messed up. [laughs]
Michael: [laughs] That’s messed up, but I feel like Snape doesn’t really need help with that.
Bob: Yeah, unless you think of Dumbledore as the puppet master that he is that it probably would have crossed his mind. He probably would have been like, “Oh, yeah. Snape don’t sell that house quite yet.”
[Eric and Michael laugh]
Bob: “Real estate speculation.”
[Eric laughs]
Michael: “You’re a teacher. You don’t get paid that much anyway, so…”
Eric: A little birdie Animagus told me that real estate prices are going to spike.
[Bob and Kat laugh]
Eric: I feel like regarding this comment, yeah, when I was first listening to it being read, I thought, “Nah, Dumbledore wouldn’t really reach out and have out any opinion as to where Snape… That’s crossing a line,” but as the comment was finished, I thought, “I bet that wouldn’t be a bad idea if he were just happening to suggest, ‘Hey, if you’re struggling with compartmentalization, if you’re struggling with doing this work for the dark side…” Because let’s assume that Snape really doesn’t like being Dark. Even though probably could…
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Let’s just assume that it’s putting him out, that it’s stressful for him. Then the fact that these memories surfaced when he’s there can only work to help him out. So I think there is some cool train of thought there.
Kat: I think that Dumbledore would do it in a backhanded way, like he does most things.
Eric: Like he does with Harry in this next chapter.
[Bob, Eric, and Michael laugh]
Kat: Like he does with everybody all the time always.
[Eric laughs]
Bob: But it also is symbolic of Snape’s emotional growth that he hasn’t grown beyond that… He’s still just so… It’s in his nastiness and his longing for Lily and all that stuff. It’s so rooted in that. He hasn’t moved on at all.
Eric: Maybe it’s a source of power for him. Maybe he has some really happy memories as a child of Lily and doesn’t want to leave them. In the same way that conjuring up a Patronus requires a happy thought, maybe that’s his base. It never ceased being his home? Because – like you were saying – he’s never moved past it?
Michael: See, I think this is… with the new information that we got on Pottermore that this is in fact Cokeworth and what Cokeworth means in terms of the series, I think it’s a little unfair that that was never stated – at least for the reader – because that would have been a nice, little embedded thing that I think readers wouldn’t have caught right away.
Eric: Which part?
Michael: That Spinner’s End is in Cokeworth, and Cokeworth therefore, is the thing that connects… They went to Cokeworth in Sorcerer’s Stone to escape the letters and then revealing that Cokeworth is where Lily and Snape are both from.
Eric Oh, well, I mean, it was all the protect the secret that Lily and Snape even knew each other.
Kat: Right. Yeah, I menan, she couldn’t have put it in until Deathly Hallows, and then where would you have put it? In the memories? That wouldn’t have made much sense. I agree with you, but I’m not sure where it would go.
Bob: It’s in Deathly Hallows. She connects it by saying Spinner’s End and – what is it – Petunia says, “Oh, that’s that boy from… he lives on Spinner’s End.”
Michael: Oh.
Bob: And it says that that the way she said it meant that it wasn’t a very good recommendation, like from the wrong side of the tracks.
[Eric and Michael laugh]
Bob: But I did, though, wonder why Snape was living there, when I first read it, and then a “What’s he doing here, of all places?” So…
Kat: I do like the parallel that was drawn between him and Sirius, though. I think they’re both very haunted by their pasts for very different reasons.
Bob: It’s a great comment.
Michael: And with the next chapter and with discussions we’ve had before, and especially thinking about Order of the Phoenix, you could even connect that further to Harry as well and being somewhere that he doesn’t want to be. So…
Kat: Yup, indeed. So our next comment here comes from Healer In Training. He or she says… Again, this was part of a giant comment. There [were] a lot of really giant comments this week. Kudos to everybody who actually read them all. They were really, really awesome. So it says,
“The next thing in this conversation is when Snape starts discussing how Harry was able to get out of many situations, not by his own merit, but by luck and a little help from his ‘more talented friends’. I find it very interesting that Snape cho[o]ses these specific words. By what is said it seems that Snape is actually recognizing Hermione’s abilities as a witch. Are the normal attitudes against her just a show (he keeps […] face, yet is fair in the grading of her work)? Does he see a bit of [L]ily in her in that both were [M]uggle[-]born yet very talented and dedicated witches? Are these words meant [to just] degrade [H]arry so much as that the [M]uggle[-]born witch is more talented than he? Is it a combination of these?”
And before anyone comments, we have an audioBoom, which is along the same topic but about two different people. So let’s give that a listen.
[Audio]: Hi there. It’s Hufflepuffskein, and I was just listening to your episode, and I literally had to drop everything to record this because I just had a really cool thought. I don’t know if it’s super accurate, but I just wanted to put it out there. Kat’s mention at the end of Narcissa in the act of asking him to do the Unbreakable Vow is really telling Snape that, “I value my son’s life above yours even though I’m putting all of my hope in your hands.” It was a super just amazing thought to me. I never thought about it like that, and that made me lead on to the idea that she’s also putting herself on the line. Snape or Bellatrix or Wormtail, whether he’s listening or can listen or whatever, they could go […] tell Voldemort that “Hey, Narcissa is basically undermining you in what you’ve asked Draco to do,” and so she could die, so really, by doing the Unbreakable Vow, not only is Snape putting himself on the line, but she is also too. She’s sort of in the dragon’s den here, and this made me really think that maybe Snape… There’s a whole ton of things going on as to why he accepts doing the Unbreakable Vow. Obviously, he sort of has to for the image[‘s] sake but also, maybe the pitable state of Narcissa, he sees Lily, almost, in her. That she here is almost sacrificing herself. Not close to what Lily did I know, but she’s putting her life on the line for her son, and this mother sacrificial act for a son is a big theme in the books. Obviously, it’s a big part of Lily’s story. Snape loves Lily, and I just feel like there’s a connection there. And I feel like if he recognizes that in Narcissa, it would have a pull on him, and he would almost have an emotional response to it as well. So I just wanted to put that out there. Thanks.
Michael: I want to start with […] Healer In Training’s comment because I’m not sure that hthe fact that both Hermione and Lily were Muggle-born factors into it at all. I don’t know. We find out at the end of the book that he’s a little bit more tuned to blood status than we would think because of the nickname he gives himself, but still, I don’t know. I just don’t know that that factors into his head that he’s like, “Oh, here’s a Muggle-born girl who’s actually pretty good at what she does,” and we also don’t have evidence that Snape goes particularly easy on Hermione for any reason.
Bob: I think Hermione is for him just also… Because she’s associated with Harry, that I think his hate of Harry or whatever just spills over onto her a bit. And I think he finds it hard to admit she is talented. Every time, it’s… If he’d give that bit of space, then maybe Harry is not quite what he thinks he is too, so I think he’s so tightly packaged into this way of thinking that anything that goes outside of that…
Eric: I feel like it’s very easy for him to say, “Oh, Harry has more talented friends,” but it’s not a special effort to compliment Harry’s friends. It’s the effort to discredit Harry.
Bob: Oh, for sure.
Eric: Yeah, I don’t think he’s specifically recognizing that Hermione in particular is talented. Because we know he doesn’t mean Ron.
[Bob and Eric laugh]
Eric: So we assume Hermione.
Kat: [laughs] Oh! Oh, that’s mean.
Bob: Hey!
Eric: No, we know he’s totally… I can understand why the question comes up because he certainly doesn’t mean Ron when he says he has more talented friends, but I think it’s really just the dig at Harry and not a specific recognition for… I like the idea that it would be, but I don’t think it is specific recognition to a Muggle-born witch who’s just like Lily in that she’s fairly competent.
Bob: Yeah. And who knows? I mean, think it’s a great comment. I always like when you look at something new in a new way, and you’re like, “Oh, I never thought of that,” and t’s very plausible…
Michael: I think Hufflepuffskein is perhaps a little more… That theory I would buy a little more than Hermione because there is a parallel between Narcissa and Lily that’s obviously intentional, but the thing, too, to consider is, I think that he might have recognized that in Narcissa and why he was sympathetic to her, but at the same time, he already knew that Narcissa was going to come to him. Obviously, he was anticipating it, and I think he and Dumbledore had already set up their plans based on knowing that Voldemort was setting up Malfoy and that Dumbledore was already injured by this point and dying, so Snape could make the Unbreakable Vow without any risk.
Kat: Well, that’s funny, because… and I was going to let you finish, but…
Michael: [laughs] Imma let you finish…
Kat: But no, I’m not, because actually, the next comment has a lot to do with this, so…Lucky Eaglet, actually, which is a really cute username…
[Michael laughs]
Kat: … on the main site says,
“As I was listening to the podcast this week, I had a thought What if Narcissa was sent to Snape’s house under the order of [Lord] Voldemort? Clearly Voldemort’s plan needs someone to kill Dumbledore, and he’s not in a position to complete this task. It’s also clear that Voldemort expects Draco to fail (and perhaps die) in his attempts to kill Dumbledore, which makes up for Lucius’ mistakes. What if Voldemort sent Narcissa to Snape and ordered her to get Snape to make the Unbreakable Vow. This does a few things. It [en]sures that someone will be killing Dumbledore (or at least a few people will be trying to), and if Voldemort was questioning Snape’s loyalty, it also shows that. Narcissa could then go back to Voldemort and tell him if Snape hesitated at the thought of making an Unbreakable Vow.”
Eric: The problem with this is that I think it discredits Narcissa’s love for her son as a mother, that she’s reaching Snape in desperation. If it’s secretly like she was ordered to test Snape, then it doesn’t have the same pull at the heartstrings, I don’t think.
Kat: That’s true, but I mean, I still think this is very interesting. It’s a very interesting theory.
Bob: Well, it’s definitely… You see it, too, later, Narcissa’s love for… It’s an interesting twist on it because Narcissa we don’t know so much about, and because of this love for Draco is what saves Harry in the end when she, in Book 7… So it’s just quite an ongoing theme, of course, motherly love, but it is really interesting to think, “Hey, Narcissa. Throw Snape under the bus. It’s okay. But go ensure that he’s thrown under the bus.”
Michael: Yeah. I’m in agreement with Eric because that diminishes Narcissa’s role, to me, but… And it also doesn’t, I don’t think, really work with what we find out in Deathly Hallows about Voldemort’s view on Snape during the final monologue with Harry, where Voldemort pretty much shows that he was an idiot with who[m] he placed his trust in.
Bob: But isn’t this…? I always get that when I take this, that he’s really just being evil and vindictive when he doesn’t expect Draco to succeed, and he’s really just… It’s torture for… I mean, he’s just putting Narcissa in a really horrible position and situation, and I think Voldemort is just like, “You cross me, that’s what you get.”
[Eric laughs]
Kat: He’s a jerk.
[Bob laughs]
Kat: What a jerk.
Eric: But I don’t think he has… Because… Oh yeah, let’s consider it this way, then. Considering what he’s doing to Draco to punish Lucius, he wouldn’t be easier on Narcissa by giving her a job to go to. He wants her to suffer and…
Kat: Hmm. That’s true.
Bob: Unless he gave her false hope like, “I might reconsider if you get Snape to do this” kind of thing, so maybe he’s…
Eric: That’s possible.
Bob: If he would give a sense of false hope because there’s nothing worse than false hope for purposely doing that, knowing.. to watch somebody…
Eric: Yeah. Well, I like what Hufflepuffskein said in her comment about the fact that it was dangerous to be overheard performing the Unbreakable Vow, both for Snape and for Narcissa, because it’s against Voldemort’s wishes, and I’m along those lines too. Bellatrix warns against Narcissa even going to Snape because she doesn’t trust Snape, but it’s also that Bellatrix doesn’t really approve of all this motherly love that is necessitating Narcissa getting some assurances in the whole matter. She feels like Voldemort has ordered the right thing. She basically says that she would gladly sacrifice her own child, this, that, the other thing. So I think it is Narcissa going out on her own.
Michael: Well, because if Pettigrew did go back and report this to Voldemort, which I’m assuming he did at some point, it really probably didn’t matter to Voldemort because then he at least had security that Dumbledore was going to die.
Eric: Well, what if Snape had said no? I mean, let’s just investigate that because he can say no under the excuse that the Dark Lord has chosen Draco, and it’ll take Draco’s death to make me do it. As Snape… I don’t know. I feel like he could have gotten away with telling Narcissa, “No, I will not make the Unbreakable Vow with you.”
Michael: He probably could have because that also really probably really wouldn’t have made much difference to Voldemort. Because he still would’ve… either way, he pretty much gets what he wants. He either gets to toy with the Malfoys to the point that Draco ends up being killed at his hand or Snape kills Dumbledore. Whoops. [laughs]
Bob: Oh, whoops. I think, though, it’s also that Snape is, up until this point, still… before the last book came out, we still didn’t know if Snape was good, and it’s just one of those Jo’s writing of “What side…? Is he good? Is he not good?” Because you oscillate back and forth through the whole series of where is his actual loyalty, so you think, “Oh, he’s making the Unbreakable Vow.” It’s really… I know, it’s shocking to read it. You think, “What?” And in the movie, they do it more to shut up Bellatrix because he’s like, “Oh, Bellatrix, you’re skeptical? Oh.”
Eric: I’ll show you! [laughs]
Kat: Well, and I’m going to show you that that’s the end of the recap for this week.
Michael: Oh!
Eric: Nice transition.
Kat: Yeah, it was pretty bad, but…
Eric: It may be the end of the recap, but we still have the Podcast Question of last week to get to, also concerning the events of “Spinner’s End.” The question – just to remind our listeners – was as follows: “In this chapter, we see a diminished Wormtail resent the role [that] he has been assigned, and Snape threatens to ask Voldemort for a more dangerous assignment for him. How did Wormtail end up on Spinner’s End? What was his job before this one since the time of Voldemort’s return to power?” We heard from, again, a lot of people who all had very well-thought-out points and interesting things to say. However, I was super taken and impressed by this username…
[Bob and Michael laugh]
Eric: … which I have to award. I have to award the award for the best username ever announced on the show just because… I don’t know. I feel it’s pretty arbitrary, but I want to do it. The username is My Kids Are Filthy Muggles.
[Bob and Michael laugh]
Michael: There was a wizard named Thaddeus Thurkell who had seven sons who were all Squibs, and he turned them into hedgehogs, so…
[Kat gasps]
Eric: I did not know that.
Michael: There’s some inspiration for you, My Kids Are Filthy Muggles. [laughs]
Eric: Well, anyway, back to the chapter and this comment and this Question of the Week. My Kids Are Filthy Muggles says,
“I think that Wormtail has proven that he cannot be completely trusted, so my guess is that Voldemort has sent him to Snape so that Snape can keep an eye on him. I think that before this, Wormtail just kinda works as Voldemort’s butler [maybe], but as time goes by, more important things keep happening, and maybe Voldemort just wanted him out of the way.
“Maybe Voldemort thinks that Snape would be a ‘good’ influence on Wormtail as to how to become a ‘better’ Death Eater since nobody would believe for a minute that Voldemort thinks that Snape needs an assistan[t].”
Michael: [laughs] I like this because I think there was an assumption on a lot of people’s parts that Wormtail was sent there to spy on Snape, so I like that it’s a bit the other way around with this comment, that Snape is actually supposed to be a good influence on Wormtail to be a better Death Eater. [laughs]
Bob: Well, they don’t… until they have the Death Eater boot camp for Wormtail to go to and up Death Eater skills. I guess that would make sense putting him with Snape.
Michael: Yeah. Well, because Voldemort spent pretty much most of the finale of Book 4 alternately congratulating Wormtail and punching him in the face for being such a bad servant.
[Bob and Michael laugh]
Michael: Verbally. So he’s not particularly… he doesn’t have much use for Wormtail at this point, I would say.
Bob: Yeah, but because Wormtail is so malleable in doing what he wants, I think it’s like, “I don’t need him right now, but I’ll put him on ice a bit, keep him nearby in case I need somebody.
Michael: You could probably compare… Wormtail is to the Death Eaters, perhaps, what Kreacher was to the Order of the Phoenix. He’s a bit of a liability because he could just run off at any moment and start squealing.
[Bob laughs]
Michael: And he would. Wormtail would if so given the chance.
Eric: There’s a comment about that.
Michael: Oh, really?
Eric: So let’s move on. Next comment comes from Ellen Dawn, who says,
“To be entirely honest…”
We always like it when people are entirely honest with us.
“… I don’t think that Wormtail messed anything up in order to end up as Snape’s servant. The span of the story that Wormtail spent with Voldemort trying to give him his body back was plenty of time for Voldemort to realize Wormtail is a fairly useless, cowardly, untalented wizard who just wants to hide behind the biggest threat existing at the present time. Once Voldemort gets his body back, and in turn his more impressive followers, he rewards Wormtail with the silver hand in order to remind his old followers that he will reward them if they serve him well. This is not for Wormtail at all, but [for] show and to give Voldemort assurance that if Wormtail ever does question his allegiance, he would be strangled by his own hand.”
You’re right. There is that other side to that hand. Also,
“[W]e are currently at a point when Voldemort is now back in a position of power with a number of people doing his bidding. I think it makes complete sense, then, that Voldemort would throw Wormtail to the side. Voldemort therefore hands him an insignificant, rather pointless role [just] to keep him out of the way and ensure he doesn’t mess up any of [the other, bigger,] plans. I don’t believe Wormtail did anything else significant between the time we see him in Book 4 all the way up to now. He is resentful because he perhaps thought he would be praised for successfully returning the [D]ark [L]ord to his body.”
I mean, Voldemort is just keeping him out of the way because he’s not that special. He’s not that talented.
Michael: Yeah, Ellen Dawn, let’s go back to the thesaurus and find even more horrible words to describe Wormtail, sadly.
[Bob and Michael laugh]
Michael: You almost used all of them up.
Eric: “… fairly useless, cowardly, untalented…”
Michael: [laughs] That was amazing. That was a very apt description. Yeah, no, I think that’s pretty on the nose right there.
Bob: That says it all. [laughs]
Kat: That’s pretty honest. Good job.
Michael: Yes. [laughs] She keeps to her word, that Ellen Dawn.
Kat: Yes, she does.
Michael: [laughs] But I did like that she pointed the thing out about the hand.
Eric: Yeah. It’s like protection against…
Michael: Well, especially because the hand… I’ve always been a bit… initially, I was disappointed by the result of the hand…
Eric: Right. Did you think it was meant for Lupin?
Michael: No, I heard that theory ,and it scared the hell out of me, but I didn’t think that.
Kat: Wait. What?
Michael: Silver hand…
Eric: Silver kills werewolves and…
Kat: Oh, right!
Eric: The whole idea was that Wormtail’s hand has Lupin’s name on it.
Kat: Oh my God! I’ve never heard that theory! That’s amazing!
Eric: That was…
Michael: Which was horrifying.
Eric: It didn’t happen.
Michael: No, it didn’t.
Kat: Right. Obviously, it’s amazing but horrifying.
Bob: But that would be the worst person to kill Lupin as well, too.
Eric: Right? [laughs]
Bob: It’s just so like, “No, Wormtail? Come on.”
Kat: Yeah, that would have been pitiful.
Bob: I think Jo’s editor must have said, “Mmm, nah. That’s not a good idea.” [laughs]
Michael: Well, and she made it clear via Pottermore that, actually, the whole “silver kills werewolves” thing doesn’t apply in her world.
Bob: Oh, I was going to ask that, if her werewolves subscribe to that.
Michael: Yeah, she clarified that.
Eric: Yeah, she debunked it really eloquently and nicely. She was like, it basically was never going to happen.
Michael: But I think the hand thing… the reason it still continued to… for me to be indifferent to it is that… and especially David Heyman’s reaction to it, which was… he and Yates said that the reason they cut the result of the hand in Deathly Hallows is because they felt it was juvenile and immature, and I was like, really? A hand strangling its master? But… and I didn’t really much care for the way that they ended up dealing with it in Deathly Hallows – Part 1 anyway.
Kat: You mean not dealing with it?
[Michael laughs]
Bob: Yeah, I was going to say. Yeah.
Eric: You got Dobby’d. [laughs]
Bob: Yeah, but I think it would have been a really hard scene to film even though Timothy Spall, I’m sure, could have…
Kat: Oh, he would have pulled it off.
Bob: He would have pulled it off, but I think it’s a great scene to read, and I think there’re some scenes that are too hard to visualize really well to get that same feeling of… even though I know Timothy Spall would have nailed it for sure.
Kat: No, I agree with you that there are some scenes that probably… this would have translated fine. I’m sure there are plenty of horror movies out there where people strangle themselves that they could have looked at.
[Bob and Michael laugh]
Kat: I’m sure they could have done this.
Michael: But it’s a shame because the hand of course loses its symbolism completely in the films, but… so it’s nice to be reminded of…
Kat: Add it to the list of things.
Bob: Well, it’s like the poisoned gift. That’s what’s so great about it. It’s like here Wormtail is just going only on the praise, blinded by that, not even thinking that it would have Voldemort’s… well, there might be a litle bit more to it than that.
Eric: It crushes twigs, remember, into powder. Very easily.
Michael: And then is never used for that ever again.
[Bob and Eric laugh]
Eric: But I bet it makes a mean cocktail, though.
Kat: [laughs] I bet it does.
Eric: Only Snape would know. [laughs]
Kat: I bet it does.
Eric: Now our final Podcast Question of the Week response comes from ISeeThestrals, another great username. ISeeThestrals says,
“[C]onsidering the fact that Voldemort had just been reunited with more loyal servants, Wormtail might have simply been pushed aside with nothing to do. No longer seeing any potential in the [A]nimagi, and despising his cowardice, Voldemort refused his help and sent him off to work with a Death Eater who would not be active out in the world [either], rather than cut ties with him completely. Voldemort sets up the appearance that he is being merciful by not killing off a weak follower, [such as Pettigrew,] and giving him a chance. While Wormtail despises the role [that] he’s been given, fear keeps him from severing ties with Voldemort and risking capture by old friends.”
I like this notion that Voldemort is appearing merciful by not killing such an obviously pathetic character.
Bob: Yup. Well, and it’s fear, and that’s the thing. So that’s what Voldemort thrives on, is fear, keeping everyone afraid, so…
Michael: Well, yeah, that’s his modus operandi.
Eric: So overall some great Pettigrew insight, especially considering this really hasn’t been answered. He disappeared for a book and a half, no explanation. Or rather, a whole book. But it was a big book. It was like a book and a half. So really appreciate the insight into Pettigrew that all of our listeners have submitted, and definitely check out everything else that was said over on the main site and forums regarding this topic. It’s some really interesting stuff.
Michael: And now with that, we head into Chapter 3 of Half-Blood Prince.
[Half-Blood Prince Chapter 3 intro begins]
Vernon: Chapter 3.
[Sound of glasses clinking against the Dursleys’ heads]
[Sound of Dursleys whimpering and exlcaiming in pain]
Petunia: Vernon!
Vernon: “Will and Won’t” you get these glasses off of us?
Dumbledore: Oh. I suppose I will.
[Sound of glasses clinking slows down]
Dumbledore: Or maybe I won’t.
[Sound of single glass clinking]
[Half-Blood Prince Chapter 3 intro ends]
Michael: The chaotic state of Harry’s room permits glimpses of multiple clippings from the Daily Prophet detailing the wizarding world’s latest suspicions about Harry and Voldemort, their reception of Rufus Scrimgeour, and how the Ministry intends to keep everyone under protection during the war that is now underway. Harry’s neglected room is the result of his anticipation that Dumbledore will soon be arriving to Privet Drive to spirit him away to the Burrow after first completing a heretofore unexplained task. With his usual flair and a hearty dose of humor (as well as a mysteriously injured right hand), Dumbledore comes bearing information for Harry regarding Sirius’s will and what it means for the future of the Order of the Phoenix, as well as a long-awaited sharp tongue directed toward the Dursleys for their less-than-stellar caretaking of Harry over the last 16 years. So before we even get into the bashing of the Dursleys, which is quite a focal point of this chapter, let’s take a look at Harry’s disgusting room.
[Bob, Kat, and Michael laugh]
Michael: The descriptions alone make me cringe. But lying on the floor, throughout Harry’s room, are a bunch of articles from the Daily Prophet, and one of the first ones we get is about the wizarding world’s general suspicions about the prophecy, and I still remember a quote that’s always struck me from that particular passage on page 39 in the US hardcover edition that says, “Though Ministry spokewizards have hitherto refused even to confirm existence of the Hall of Prophecy…” and then it goes on to describe what the suspicions by the wizarding public are. I thought it was interesting because of course we know that the Department of Mysteries is named so for a reason, that we don’t know what’s in there. But of course, Harry does, and quite a few people do now, publicly.
Eric: Yeah. I just think it’s super funny in this chapter because you get this article that says, “Ministry spokewizards won’t confirm that the Hall of Prophecy even exists,” but then August[a] Longbottom is just like, “Yeah, my grandson Neville was there. He fought Death Eaters, and he was totally…”
[Michael laughs]
Bob: And a friend of Harry Potter’s, by the way.
[Michael laughs]
Eric: Oh, yeah, but there were Death Eaters. She basically is talking all about it, and if they had continued reading that article, I’m sure she would have told many more things about… that the governent is refusing to admit even exist.
Michael: Mhm. Yeah, that’s just the… I feel like there was a bit of a major security breach here that hasn’t really been addressed. I was surprised that the Obliviators haven’t seen fit to step in.
Bob: What I love, though, about the beginning of this chapter is it’s a really interesting way to recap what’s happened. It’s the kind of…
Kat: Yeah.
Bob: I don’t know if it was in Order of the Phoenix as well but she doesn’t recap in earlier books. It’s like, “Harry is a wizard and goes to school at Hogwarts; it’s a school…” telling you in case you haven’t read the other ones. This book just hits the ground running, like, “We’re not even going to explain anything. You just know what’s going on already.”
Eric: I wanted to comment about how well-written this is for film. This feels like a movie where you’re descending from the ceiling into Harry, who is [laughs] snoring loudly against the window, and the camera just pans and you see these articles all over his desk. It goes from one thing to the other and you, as a viewer of the movie, would be able to pick out certain key phrases – probably just the headlines, to be honest – but still, to me it felt like… and I’m going to use a specific film as a reference, but the very beginning of the first Back to the Future; you’re in… do you guys know what I’m talking about here? Have you seen this recently or enough to remember it?
Bob: I haven’t seen it recently, so…
Eric: Okay, basically, you’re in Doc’s house. Marty shows up and plugs his guitar into the thing that you’re not supposed to plug your guitar into; it blows it out. But before he arrives, you get this 360 degree panorama of Doc’s… just… laboratory. And there is, among other things, a news reporter. The TV comes on because an alarm clock turns the TV on; you get the news story about how Plutonium has been stolen. You get all sorts of inventions that are operating automatically; a dog food opener can thing is happening, and Marty comes in and basically it doesn’t show his face. He comes in the front door, kicks his skateboard, the skateboard rolls; the camera follows the skateboard until it hits a case which contains the Plutonium that was stolen.
Bob: Oh, okay.
Eric: The camera is all over the room and it just really introduces the characters extremely well. And I just couldn’t help but draw the comparison on this read-through of how visual it is where the camera… basically, it’s going from one thing to another that’s in his room. Fortunately, she’s not dwelling on some of the rubbish, like apple cores that are… she mentions that they’re on the floor and I’m just thinking, “What the hell is wrong with Harry? Why is he so messy?”
Bob: Because he’s a teenager? [laughs]
Eric: Yeah.
Michael: That is an excellent point, Eric, because that’s something I’ve definitely noticed about the later books, especially. I think Rowling’s vision is very cinematic between Half-Blood and Deathly. I remember thinking that Deathly Hallows really struck me as perfectly cinematic, which is why I was very disappointed with some of the adaptation choices. But I think… and as far as this particular use of the newspapers, I almost think Order of the Phoenix had already done this to some degree because they use the Daily Prophet as a motif. And it comes up a little bit; the Daily Prophet is still present in Half-Blood with some nice moments that get, at least, the point across, not perhaps in as much detail as this. And one of these details is also a major one that… I forgot it took this long for this to become one of the regular things in the series, but Harry has been deemed… he has been christened with a new nickname. He is no longer “The Boy Who Lived.” That is so… 1995!
Eric: … sixteen years ago. [laughs]
Michael: Harry is now “The Chosen One.”
Eric: Well, actually, he’s “The Chosen One?”
Michael: Well, unless he’s being hit on by Romilda Vane, in which case he is definitively “The Chosen One.” So that’s another thing just worthy of note; is Harry has got a new nickname. Another article points out a few things about Rufus Scrimgeour, our new Minister, who we’ve met briefly in the first chapter, and I did want to get some – because it wasn’t really touched upon too much – but I wanted to get some first impressions on what you guys thought about Scrimgeour and perhaps what you were hoping for his role in the series versus what he ended up being because of course we find out later in this article that he had a meeting with Dumbledore and it didn’t go very well.
Eric: I will say two things here. One, that I don’t think we should talk that much about Scrimgeour because that was a couple chapters ago. In terms of what we were expecting out of him versus what we got, this is not the time or place for that, I don’t think, in my opinion. But I do want to say that, well, in terms of what he and Dumbledore are… the fact that they aren’t getting along or that they didn’t get along, and that that’s referenced in this newspaper; when I was reading it I was asking, “Why is that a thing at all? Why is that even being commented on?” It’s for the reader obviously, but it’s not something that would normally be said in paper…
Kat: Sure, why not? If our President… if Obama didn’t get along with some other…
Eric: But who the heck is Dumbledore? He’s just a Headmaster of a school. But then, well, I realized he’s been reinstated as Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, and then I wondered, is it like a Congress versus the President kind of thing?
Kat: Yes.
Eric: So that’s why Dumbledore is super important; that it’s super important that he gets along with Rufus is that he was recently reinstated as Chief Warlock, whatever that means.
Bob: Well, I think, though… after the fallout of the Hall of Prophecy debacle, I think that Dumbledore has gotten quite a lot of publicity and so I think there’s maybe not many of these articles we see, so Dumbledore has always been, I think, a prominent figure, or public figure, or celebrity, whatever, so I think that people know who he is, so it’d be like… yeah, and being Headmaster…
Eric: But it hasn’t quite gotten to the point where everybody is like, “Oh, Dumbledore is forgiven. He was right all along. Let’s totally care what he thinks about everybody now. Let’s follow his every move and his every thought and if Dumbledore…” you know what I’m saying? It’s not a matter of, “It will shape your opinion of Scrimgeour that Dumbledore doesn’t like him.”
Michael: See, that’s interesting because I don’t agree with that at all.
Kat: Yeah, I don’t agree with that, either.
Michael: I remember when I first read this being thoroughly disappointed to read that because in the first chapter where he’s introduced, I really thought Scrimgeour was interesting. I thought, “Oh, wow, this guy gets things done; he’s on the ball with this,” and then to read that, it was the same feeling that I had… the reason I brought it up is because it’s the same feeling I had in Order of the Phoenix when we first had the announcement that there was going to be a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and she was female and nobody really knew what to think of her, and I was like, “Ooh, there’s some really interesting possibilities there,” and then she ended up being a horrible, horrible person. [laughs]
Kat: Umbridge.
Bob: Yeah.
Michael: And so I guess that was why I wanted to bring it up is because this one little sentence about the meeting with Dumbledore completely crushed my hopes for Scrimgeour.
Bob: Well, it makes you wonder what he’s up to. You think… it put me on the fence a bit to be… because he did come with a strong impression.
Michael: Mhm.
Bob: The Muggle Prime Minister was like, “I could understand why the wizards liked this guy better.” So you’re wondering, “What’s it about? What’s he going to be?”
Michael: Mhm.
Kat: I think the thing that struck me most about this article was where it says that he was Head of the Auror office, and I immediately for the first time ever thought to myself, “Wait, Harry is Head of the Auror office in present day, in 2015. Could he be Minister of Magic someday?” I don’t know. I just thought that was really cool.
Eric: [laughs] If it’s an elected position, he’s “The Chosen One” all over again.
Kat: Yeah.
Michael: I think the really interesting thing from the new information we got from Pottermore about the Ministers all throughout history – every single one – is that Rowling was very careful with how she chose who she chose for her Ministers at what periods of time because she noted that Heads of the Auror Office tended to come into leadership in times of war, and I think that makes sense. And so even though I think Harry probably eventually might have the makings to be a Head of the Ministry, I don’t think he’d need to take it and I don’t think he would by choice.
Bob: I don’t think he would. I think he could easily be Minister of Magic. I’m sure there’s a lot of people who would vote him there or want him there, but I don’t think he’d want that type of position having had…
Michael: What he’s gone through.
Bob: … having been Harry Potter all those years, yeah.
Kat: Yeah, very Dumbledore-esque of him. I get it. I mean…
Eric: He’s more of a hands-on Disarming Charm kind of guy.
Michael and Kat: Yeah.
[Bob laughs]
Kat: I just thought it was really interesting, and…
Bob: Sure.
Michael: Yeah, the possibility. Absolutely.
Kat: Yeah, exactly.
Eric: But we know why. The answer is in the book already why Dumbledore and Scrimgeour don’t get along. It’s because Scrimgeour is…
Michael: Yeah, well, we’ll get there. We’ll get there. But… [laughs]
Eric: But I’m saying it doesn’t matter to the public. The public isn’t yet back on Dumbledore’s side. It shouldn’t matter to them that he doesn’t approve of Scrimgeour.
Michael: See, I don’t agree with that because I…
Kat: I don’t agree with that, either.
Bob: Me, neither. Sorry.
Eric: But Dumbledore has not been publicly re-credited. Where is the…?
Kat: Yes, he has.
Bob: Yeah.
Eric: I really don’t think so.
Michael: Oh, I think so because… and Pottermore confirmed this, but wizards almost take the Daily Prophet as complete truth because it’s their only form of print. It’s their only news that they get. And they almost completely put their trust in it, and with Dumbledore being reinstated to his previous position, with him completely taking control back at Hogwarts, and as somebody who heretofore was trusted, and he’s so thoroughly vindicated by the fact that Voldemort is back, and now everybody knows that he was telling the truth… yeah, absolutely. I think his… I mean, his trust maybe hasn’t been completely fixed with Harry, which we’re going to get to in a minute, but with the public, I’d say absolutely.
Eric: Okay, I just think it’s pretty easy for Rita to throw him back under the bus after he’s dead, so…
Bob: Well, I think there’s probably… I would say probably 80% of the wizards are behind Dumbledore, but there would still be 20% that would be like, “We’re not quite sure. Do we…? Let’s wait and see what happens next before…”
Eric: Yeah. I guess just considering how poorly it gets in the next book, I just assumed it never got that great after Fudge’s reign and continual submission of whatever Dumbledore was saying.
Kat: But isn’t that assumption that it gets bad in the next book? Just because Rita writes an article doesn’t mean that people will stop trusting him.
Eric: She writes a book.
Kat: That’s what I mean.
Bob: But I think it also brings up an interesting point, too, about the media; people have to decide for themselves what they believe and Harry goes through that in particular with the Dumbledore book because it’s like, “Wait, I’m being told this and I’m feeling this and what do I…?” Instead of just blindly following your Daily Prophet of, “Oh, it’s printed so it’s got to be fact.”
Eric: Yeah, you’re right, Kat, it is an assumption, but the fact that she was able to publish that and not immediately be stoned to death by 80% of all wizards leads me to believe that Dumbledore wasn’t that… but he has been reinstated; that’s fact, so I guess you’re right. It should be pretty well-known and people aren’t… you don’t see the issue of people still holding their kids back from Hogwarts. They’re actually stepping up defenses, it says, in one of these articles.
Michael: Mhm. Well, yeah, I was just going to get to that just to mention that the article says that Hogwarts has added some new security measures, including Aurors who will be instated at the castle, and we also get a flyer that, as we will see later, Dumbledore and Harry don’t think very much of because it’s not very helpful.
[Kat laughs]
Michael: Interestingly, the flyer doesn’t even mention Dementors as a threat, probably because most people can’t even do a Patronus so they’re like, “Well, if you see a Dementor, then you’re SOL,” so…
[Eric and Michael laugh]
Eric: I feel like… I was reading these precautions and I have to say, they weren’t as bad as I remembered them. They’re actually really not that bad.
Kat: Yeah, except… okay, so…
Eric: They could be better. They’re not bad, though.
Kat: Well, you’re reading it and it says, “Report to the Ministry of Magic immediately.” How do you do that?
Eric: Well, that comes from our lack of knowledge about how to do that.
[Michael laughs]
Kat: No, I mean, not necessarily. Somebody who lives in the boondocks might not know how to actually connect with the Ministry of Magic.
Bob: And if you didn’t have an owl. Maybe if you had an owl you could send a thing.
Kat: Yeah.
Bob: But suppose if you didn’t have a fireplace nearby to stick your head in and send a message.
Michael: Well, even right with an owl, it’s like, “All right, owl. You’ll fly off to the Ministry and I’ll just stand outside my house that has the Dark Mark for a few hours.”
[Bob and Michael laugh]
Kat: Or the Inferi, if there’s an Inferi.
Michael: Yeah.
Kat: What are you supposed to do, follow it?
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: I do lack a certain faith that enough people are staffed wherever the messages are being received that the information is being disseminated in an efficient way…
Kat: Right!
Eric: … that will actually be effective at informing the right people and getting them to where they need to go to stop this kind of thing from spreading. I do lack faith in that. But on the whole, certain aspects of these instructions are pretty… they make sense. Don’t go out alone, don’t go out after dark; you’re just worsening your chances of encountering something if you’re going out alone in the dark without a set plan, without family members who can be prepped for an evacuation plan… it’s like having a fire escape plan within your own home. It’s like, “In the event of a fire, this is what’s going to happen.” It’s just… they are smart practices and there are things that they could definitely put more of in, but these five – I think it’s five – steps really… I can’t find anything wrong with them per se.
Michael: Well, and as I will come back to in a little bit in the discussion, there’s something to be said for some of these steps that are actually brought up. But the other pieces of writing that [are] there for us to see is that Dumbledore has written Harry a letter saying that he will pick him up, which leads perfectly into… first I want to talk about… now, Harry is asleep, and the notable thing here is that despite this letter, Harry hasn’t packed. And there’s a little bit of a summary here that I wanted to read about Harry’s trunk, and it says, “A large trunk stood in the very middle of the room. Its lid was open; it looked expectant; yet it was almost empty but for a residue of old underwear, sweets, empty ink bottles, and broken quills that coated the very bottom.” Now, notwithstanding my disappointment in Harry for his horrible packing skills and how gross this is…
[Bob laughs]
Michael: … the other thing that I did want to point out, that I feel was a missing opportunity here: The shard of mirror that Harry has broken is not mentioned. Personally I feel like that was a mistake or perhaps an afterthought, I’m not sure. But we get in Deathly Hallows that Harry finds the shards of mirror at the bottom again with the little few glass flakes and that’s how he remembers it. But I was a little disappointed that it’s not slipped in here as well because it seemed like a perfect opportunity.
Eric: Right. It just ends up being one of those things that he packs in the next ten minutes, or whatever he takes ten minutes to pack.
Michael: Well, because the shard of mirror is permanently mentioned to be… he’s left it there since he broke it in fifth year. So it just seemed like something that could have been thrown in there for a little bit of a hint, but that was just me. Maybe that was my disappointment with how the mirror comes back in Deathly Hallows.
Kat: Maybe Jo forgot about it.
Michael: Well, I was wondering that, if it ended up being a later plot point for her.
Kat: Yeah. It could be.
Michael: I always say that we get spoiled by Jo’s plots.
Bob: Or that it’s very bottom, like really, really underneath. Because he only discovers it when he really cleans everything out.
Michael: Unpacks.
Kat: Right.
Eric: Yeah.
Kat: And there is old underwear in there.
Michael: Ugh! Gross, Harry.
[Eric laughs]
Kat: Harry is really disgusting.
[Bob and Michael laugh]
Michael: And the other issue that I wanted to bring up with this is Harry and his trust of Dumbledore. Because as Eric was saying, there’s perhaps the question of how vindicated Dumbledore has been in the public’s eye. But what do you guys think about Harry and Dumbledore’s relationship right now?
Bob: I think he’s just more like, “Can’t believe I’m going to be taken away from the Dursleys just after two weeks.” I think if you look at how Harry was raised too with the Dursleys, it’s almost like it’s getting too good in a way. I mean, there’s horrible things that have happened, but the fact that it’s too good to be true that they “whisk me away so quickly”… so, I think it’s… I don’t know, that’s for me what I…
Eric: I think going into this, Dumbledore’s still a little bit on my list for…
[Michael laughs]
Eric: … how he neglected Harry all year last year until like the very end.
Bob: Oh yeah, there’s that, too. [laughs]
Eric: When he chastises Harry, “You must have thought that I wasn’t going to come because you didn’t pack yet,” it’s like, “You totally abandoned me all last year. Why would I think that you would go somewhere when you said you would?” However, he’s had three days, and it’s really inexcusable that he didn’t tell the Dursleys and he didn’t pack. So he’s actually been doing absolutely nothing realistic or productive in this whole time. He’s just been a stone for three days.
Kat: But let’s be honest, realistic and productive are not two words I’d ever use to describe Harry Potter.
Bob: [laughs] No.
Michael: Maybe not until Book 7.
Eric: The character, yeah.
Kat: The character, yes.
Eric: He’s been sitting with that letter, and it’s very beautifully described how it was tightly wrapped up when he got it in a scroll but now it lays flat. It’s so perfect because all he’s doing is reading it, but it’s not just because he doesn’t believe that Dumbledore is going to show up. He’s completely off in La-La land, not thinking about what that would even mean leaving so early. Maybe it is the fact that he hates the Dursleys so much, but I don’t know. I would have expected him to do something the last three days. We know how little Harry enjoys waiting around with nothing to do.
Bob: But isn’t he… don’t you think he’s suffering from post-traumatic stress syndrome? After everything… after the whole year he went through in Order of the Phoenix, the whole thing at the Ministry and then learning the prophecy, I would think he’d need a little bit of time to decompress and just be… it’d probably leave me catatonic for a couple of days just thinking…
Eric: Yeah.
Bob: … about the…
Kat: Fair enough.
Michael: I just thought it was worth bringing up that, like you mentioned, Eric, Dumbledore notes that Harry hasn’t packed, though the narration says that he shrewdly points it out. And I’m just wondering if Dumbledore isn’t aware of how much his relationship with Harry is in flux right now. Because he does say that he’s going to take him on a special mission to boost relations, I kind of feel.
Kat: Wink, wink.
Eric: Yeah, he also says he’s going to tell him about his hand later.
Michael: Yeah, that’s true.
[Bob laughs]
Michael: So Dumbledore shows up at the Dursleys’ and I did have to note that – because I was curious and because we always love to dive deep on Alohomora! – Dumbledore notes that the Dursleys’ agapanthus, their flowers, are growing very nicely. And I had to look up what agapanthus means, and it’s actually… the Latin for it means “love flower”.
Kat: Aww.
Michael: The flower also symbolizes love letters in the language of the flowers, so perhaps Dumbledore is being snidely ironic by saying, “This house is so full of love. Look at all the love! You’ve done so well with the love here.”
[Kat laughs]
Eric: Right.
Michael: “Anyway…”
Bob: Or just sort of his own private joke about the Fidelius Charm.
[Eric laughs]
Bob: It’s like… you know?
Michael: Mhm.
Eric: Yeah.
Michael: Absolutely. Which I think it is, because Dumbledore is very aware of the things he says. And of course as we noted already, Harry has only been at the Dursleys’ for two weeks. For those of you who don’t know what a fortnight is, now you know.
Eric: Oh yeah, those British terms always get you.
Michael: Those Brits with their fortnights!
Eric: Those agapanthus… real quick, it’s been only a year since that terrible drought. Remember that drought?
Michael: That’s right, and the agapanthus made it!
Eric: I wonder how those flowers really are doing. [laughs]
Michael: Because… like they said in the narration in Order, everybody was watering when they weren’t supposed to be anyway. [laughs]
Eric: Yeah, that’s true.
Bob: And Vernon is…
Kat: Maybe agapanthus works well in recently dry soil.
Eric: [laughs] Maybe.
Michael: Could be.
Kat: Who knows. There’s a gardener out there listening who is yelling at us right now.
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: Still, he pays the compliment to Vernon, who might not be the person you should compliment on the state of the agapanthus. Because I assume Petunia knows more about which flowers grow in her garden.
Bob: Yeah.
Michael: Mhm.
Kat: I don’t know, isn’t there some comment about [how] he’s the one who takes care of the garden?
Michael: Maybe.
Bob: I think he probably takes credit. I think he probably takes the credit.
Kat: [laughs] Yeah, that’s probably true.
Michael: So, once Dumbledore takes a seat, he mentions… he goes into the details that we’ve discussed at length about how Harry’s blood protection works – as far as how it works with him coming to the Dursleys’ and how long he has to stay there. Let me see if I can find… what page is that where he… aha! Dumbledore says, “The magic I invoked fifteen years ago means that Harry has powerful protection while he can still call this house ‘home.’ However miserable he has been here, however unwelcome, however badly treated, you have at least, grudgingly, allowed him houseroom. This magic will cease to operate the moment that Harry turns seventeen; in other words, at the moment he becomes a man. I ask only this: that you allow Harry to return, once more, to this house, before his seventeenth birthday, which will ensure that the protection continues until that time.” So that is pretty much the lengthiest definition we get, because we have wondered throughout the series how long Harry has to stay at the Dursleys’ for this protection to even work.
Eric: Right.
Bob: I always thought it was one of… as long as he can call it home. So even if it was a week, as long as it was home to him… to me it was always that, regardless of how… there wasn’t any timeframe or time constraints on it. It was more of the feeling that that’s home.
Michael: Well, and perhaps not even home in the… because I think a lot of people, especially thanks to the films, associate home with a very poetic sense of love and comfort. And Dumbledore seems to be defining here that home is, “You have a room to stay in.”
Kat: It’s the place that you return to, is what it is. Home, in this definition, is the place you return to.
Eric: Inheriting Grimmauld Place might throw that off.
Bob: Yeah, except that I don’t think he would ever call that home.
Michael: Yeah. And we see in this chapter that Harry doesn’t even want Grimmauld Place, knowing that he has inherited it.
Bob: Right.
Eric: Yeah, this description comes at the very end of all this. He waits until the very, very end when he and Harry are taking off to explain this to them. The rest of the chapter is just him torturing the Dursleys… I was blown away. I was trying to think to myself how and why Dumbledore is telling Harry all this stuff in front of the Dursleys…
Bob: Me too.
Eric: … because it really doesn’t matter. Now he does explain it. I had to reread it even a second time, and he says, “I just don’t want to discuss this stuff in the open.” But really, some very interesting things happen before he does this, and at the very end he does have to ask the Dursleys to watch Harry next summer. It really sets up really well what ends up being the mad dash from Privet Drive in the next book. So it’s totally cool, but he does so many other things right in front of them with Kreacher and with the will, and you’re just like, man, Dumbledore is really torturing these poor people!
Michael: Well, okay. Let’s actually get to that, because Dumbledore finally gives the Dursleys the what for. And we have an audioBoom actually about that, so let’s make sure and listen to that first.
Audio: Hey guys, this is Spencer from Chicago, or Slytherin Knight on the main site. I wanted to leave a comment about maybe the hidden gem that J.K. put in this chapter. It’s about Dumbledore and it’s the scene in which he’s letting the conjured wine glasses hit the Dursleys upside the head. And Harry comments that he seemed amused by this. I wanted to know, is this Dumbledore trying to get petty revenge against the Dursleys for how they treated Harry or is this maybe something else, maybe something darker? Because all the other times we’ve seen Dumbledore interact with the Dursleys, whether indirectly or directly, he’s forced them to do what he wanted: leaving Harry at the doorstep, the Howler, and now this. So, I just wanted to know what you guys’ thoughts were on this. Is it “Magic Is Might” or is this just [some] petty revenge, bullying type of thing on Dumbledore’s part? Thanks.
Bob: Oh, that’s a good one.
Michael: So, Spencer’s pretty much asking about how much enjoyment Dumbledore is getting out of bullying the Dursleys…
Eric: Yeah.
Bob: A lot.
Michael: [laughs] Well, it does of course bring up to mind, before I was on Alohomora!, back when Noah was on and his frequent sympathizing with the Dursleys and perhaps that they didn’t deserve to be beat upon so much as they are, and whether it’s okay for the characters that we like to stoop to the level of the Dursleys – which Dumbledore is doing here.
Bob: What’s funny though, Michael, that I wrote down too, is you almost feel sorry for the Dursleys. Then, “His godfather’s dead?” I mean…
Michael: [laughs]: Yeah.
Bob: I’m sorry, you almost were feeling sorry for them being picked on, thinking, “Oh, they’re so clueless. Why doesn’t he just leave?” And then it’s that. You’re just like, “No, sit down, Vernon. You got some more…”
Eric: Well, Harry didn’t tell them. I totally sympathize with the Dursleys here. Harry did not tell them – he didn’t open up and tell them. Of course they’re going to react that way.
Kat: But why would he?
Eric: Oh, the Dursleys are so terrible.
Bob: Aunt Petunia is going to give him a nice cuddle and make him a chocolate cake like, “Oh, you must feel terrible.” [laughs]
Eric: I just want to say, we should never assume too much or too little of captors or of our family members.
Kat: Of our captors. Exactly, you’re right.
Eric: They have… as he finds out in the next book, she has a little bit of a capacity for him right now, or in general. So, I’m not saying… look, all I’m saying is that expression, that reaction that Vernon has is totally allowed and pretty much right on point with what would be expected considering the insane circumstances. Dumbledore… I love this audioBoom because Dumbledore, not just with the glasses but with the way he makes them sit down…
Bob: Yeah.
Eric: … he shoves the couch, he waves his wand, the couch comes and hits them from behind until they’re sitting, and then it zooms back to its original position. He’s not saying, “Sit down,” he’s not saying, “Shut up”; he’s simply talking with this authoritative voice and basically saying, “Best not to say anything, my dear man. You’ve offended me,” this, that, and the other thing. He’s being really forceful and for once on a reread, what I’ve really enjoyed is that I finally see this Dumbledore that is superior to Muggles. He is mistreating the Dursleys here, and I finally see this Dumbledore that he’s afraid he would become if he ever made Minister for Magic – this subjugation of non-magic people. Because I really feel he’s just a little bit forceful here with them, and whether you feel it’s warranted or not, he’s shoving the couch under their legs and I just think you don’t treat people this way, especially for someone who’s on such a high horse as Dumbledore. Talking about manners, about asking people to drink and all these other things: “I’m just going to assume you’ve invited me to your sitting room,” and “Oh, it would have been nicer had you just accepted the drink.” You’re hitting them over the head with it! Come on, guy. Seriously.
Bob: Yeah. I don’t know. I think he’s enjoying giving them a taste of their own medicine. And I don’t have any…
Eric: Have they ever slammed Harry’s head against a glass and said, “Drink this”?
Kat: They’ve hit him with frying pans.
Eric: Well… no, they tried to hit him with a frying pan.
Kat: Doesn’t matter.
Bob: They locked him in a cupboard for a week.
Kat: Yeah.
Bob: Sorry. That’s also the other thing, too – the constant reminders of Harry’s mistreatment and abuse. When he ran down the stairs when Dumbledore first came, he made sure to stop before the end – a habit of staying out of his uncle’s arm reach. Which is also something that’s not a normal reaction. That’s definitely like, “His arms are so long… so he doesn’t grab me, doesn’t hurt me.”
Eric: Yeah. Years of torture as a child, years of conditioning have caused Harry, even at age sixteen now – I believe he’s sixteen…
Kat: Not yet.
Eric: Not yet? Okay, about sixteen, to still stay away from his uncle. I think it’s a bit comical, if not for the actual implications.
Bob: But what you were saying about Dumbledore the other way, the Dursleys somehow don’t think that they’ve done anything wrong in treating Harry like they do. That’s the other thing about it. You can only excuse it so far to where they actually think they’re justified in doing what they’re doing.
Eric: I don’t know. They do get closer together when he says something like that. He says, “Oh, you haven’t exactly treated him all that well, like a son,” and they get closer together. But then again, he says, “Oh, but it’s a good thing because he wasn’t mistreated the way that you’ve mistreated that boy between you two.” So he’s like, if they had treated him as a son, they would have what, pampered him, and he would be obese and terrible. He would be a terrible person if they had raised him like their own. It’s weird; it’s like neither here nor there.
Kat: Yeah, I mean… [sighs]
Bob: But his experience in growing up that way is really important because, after having Vernon and Petunia bully him and then Dudley, then of course by the time he gets to Hogwarts and has Draco, who’s also a bully, and then Voldemort, of course, the ultimate bully, Harry had a wand. He found a way that he could fight back, that he couldn’t… he didn’t have to take it anymore as a bully. So I think it’s important that his lack of fear, besides just his Gryffindorness, in facing Voldemort as a bully, if you look at him that way, he’s not really afraid. He just does it. He’s like, “Oh, I’ve seen worse.” [laughs]
Kat: I think that in this moment – because we talked about this a little bit – Dumbledore is very aware of how different his relationship is with Harry in this moment – after what happened in Order of the Phoenix – and I feel like, as much as, yes, Dumbledore is… he’s not… I’m not sure he’s bullying them. He’s being a jerk. He’s giving them a bit of their own medicine, but I also think he…
Michael: He’s trying to get in Harry’s good graces.
Kat: Yeah, he’s showing Harry that he’s supporting him and that “Dude, I’m on your side. I know we had a rough year and that we’re not bros anymore… “
[Bob and Michael laugh]
Eric: Aww. [laughs]
Kat: [laughs] “… but I still completely am on your side.”
Bob: Let the healing begin. [laughs]
Kat: Yes, 1,000%.
Eric: Aww.
Kat: And I do like the point you made, Eric, about… I had never thought about that this is the Dumbledore or the door to the Dumbledore…
[Michael laughs]
Kat: … that we might see if he had come to power. That’s… I never thought of that.
Eric: He just seems to assume that… whether he’s trying to win Harry back or not, and I love that point because I think it’s probable. Whether or not he’s trying to win Harry back, he just assumes that it’s okay to treat any Muggle this way. If it’s for a joke or not, if it’s the Dursleys or not…
Bob and Kat: I don’t think it’s any Muggle…
Kat: … either.
Bob and Kat: Yeah.
Kat: I think it’s them.
Bob: I think it’s totally specific to the Dursleys. And maybe…
Eric: You just don’t treat another person this way, no matter who it is. You just don’t.
Bob: It is questionable. Do unto others, and he’s not really…
Kat: Yeah, okay listen. Okay, we’re all going to be honest here. Have you ever taken that advice? [laughs] There is somebody in your life, that no matter how you treat other people, that you are going to treat them unfairly. Or not to the same level as somebody else. So I mean, it’s easy to point fingers and say, “Dumbledore should have done this, blah, blah, blah,” but we all do it.
Bob: Oh, if I’m honest, I don’t think he went far enough, actually, because that was one thing about…
[Eric and Michael laugh]
Bob: I mean, really.
Eric: That’s your 5% Slytherin speaking. [laughs]
Bob: Absolutely, but it’s just like, come on, the Dursleys got off easy in the whole thing. After they haven’t really had to be accountable for what the… for lack of a better word, abuse that they inflicted on Harry. I still feel like they just got off a bit easy on it.
Eric: Yeah, if one uncomfortable evening – the end of their evening – is all that they have to suffer through for all the pain that they’ve caused Harry, I can see why a lot of people are very forgiving of Dumbledore for inflicting it upon them.
Bob: Well, just think of the Christmas presents that the Dursleys send him. Come on.
Kat: Socks.
Eric: It’s so comical.
Bob: It’s not, though. It’s mean. You send a Kleenex? A tissue?
Eric: Yeah, it’s really hard to believe that that is realistic. It’s really hard to believe that they’re actually like that kind of people.
Bob: That they’d make the effort?
Eric: In Year 1 it was funny, right? It’s like, “Oh, it’s a coat hanger. It cost them nothing. They really don’t like him.” But now that…
Bob: They still had to take the effort to send it, though. So they had to make an effort to be mean. It’s not like, “Oh, he’s coming over, so quick, wrap something that we have.” It’s like they actually had to go out of their way to be mean.
[Kat and Michael laugh]
Eric: And did they send it by owl post?
Kat: That’s funny.
Eric: Did we ever ask that question?
Kat: I don’t know.
Eric: Did they have to hunt an owl and… [laughs]
Kat: No, I bet that there’s a wizard [who] works at the post office or something.
Bob: Yeah, what letters that are addressed to Hogwarts they just whisk them off.
Eric: Oh, like in Men in Black II.
[Michael laughs]
Eric: Where they find K, and he’s working at the post office. [laughs]
Kat: Sure.
Bob: But something on a totally… maybe a tangent, but did Dumbledore have to tell the Ministry that he was going to the Dursleys’ and might be using magic? Because…
Eric: Yes!
Bob: It’s the same thing that came up at the beginning of Order of the Phoenix with the Advance Guard when Tonks is helping him pack his trunk with magic, and there’s no owl coming to say, “You’re using magic even though we told you not to,” kind of thing.
Eric: Yeah. This is a violation, the fact that there’s magic…
Kat: No, uh-uh.
Michael: They’re not underage.
Kat: They’re not underage. So it’s not going to register.
Eric: Who’s not underage? He’s not yet a man…
Bob: No, that’s not…
Kat: Tonks isn’t underage, and Dumbledore isn’t underage.
Bob: Yeah, but…
Eric: No, no, no. But it’s magic…
Bob: That’s not true. It’s magic in general. Because if you… Ron could use magic at his house underage, and the Ministry would only see there was magic being performed in a magic house.
Eric: Yeah, yeah. This is settled in… because of Book 2. In order for the events in Book 2 to happen, in order for Harry to be reprimanded for causing magic, is that Dobby thing…
Michael: Yeah, you’re right.
Eric: … is that basically they made it so that they can just detect that in a Muggle household, magic was used, and they’re going to punish the wizard [who] lives there. But now it’s the same thing with Dumbledore using all this magic. He uses his wand like five times, and Harry is not receiving those letters.
Bob: Yeah. I know, I thought, “Did he have to have special clearance?” Like, “Hey, by the way…”
Eric: “Hey, I’m going to be mistreating some Muggles here.”
[Kat and Michael laugh]
Eric: And when he makes Kreacher appear in front of them, that’s breaking the Statute of Secrecy, for crying out loud.
Kat: Yeah, yeah, but I feel like the Dursleys… I mean, you could say that about anything that takes place in the house of a witch or wizard who has Muggle parents. Anything would be breaking the Statute of Secrecy. I feel like those people get an in.
Bob: Well, and considering that Vernon and Petunia already know about the wizarding world, so how…? They’ve been aware forever. Or not forever, but for quite a while.
Kat: For Petunia’s entire life.
Michael: Well, Dumbledore is back in good graces with the Ministry, anyway. At least to some degree that he has power there on the Wizengamot. So he probably has enough that he can probably be like, “I’m going to…”
Eric: [laughs] He left a memorandum.
Michael: “I’m going to pick up Harry Potter. There’ll probably be lots of magic going on. Don’t even worry about it. Talk to you later.”
[Eric and Kat laugh]
Bob: He sends a magical WhatsApp to Rufus: “Yo, hey.”
[Everyone laughs]
Eric: “Yo, hey.” I’m pretty sure he begins all his letters than way.
Michael: “Yo, hey!”
Bob: “Yo, Rufus! Yo, Rufus!”
[Michael laughs]
Bob: “I’m off to the Potter kid.”
Kat: “What up, Rufie?”
[Michael laughs]
Kat: Nicknames for each other.
Bob: “Off to the Potter kid.”
Michael: So at the very least through this encounter, we’ve gotten not only somewhat of an answer to our question about what is required for Harry to stay at the Dursleys’ for the charm to work but also a little bit more, perhaps, decisions about where we stand with the Dursleys and Dumbledore. I personally think that the Dursleys… this is a revert back to the very Roald Dahl portrayal of the Dursleys that we haven’t seen for a while. And Dumbledore Roald Dahls them right back with a very…
Kat: Oho!
Michael: [laughs] … with his treatment of them.
Bob: Well, I think also, too, that Jo has a masterful way of mixing serious and humorous things because it is a little bit more caricature-ish, the Dursleys, at the same time, when he talks to them, and he doesn’t raise his voice, but there’s this chill emanating from him. It’s really serious, and what he’s saying is pretty intense, and you’re in between all of this sort of comical stuff of the wine glasses bouncing on their head and then this sort of really serious, like, “Hey, I’m holding you accountable for your actions.”
Kat: And I mean, too, after all this time, finally… they’ve known about this guy for so long, and he’s been a part of their life. He placed Harry with them. He’s spoken to Petunia. He’s written letters to Petunia. And it’s like, finally, after all this time…
Eric: Always.
Kat: And they’re like, “Holy crap. This guy is a little scary.”
[Bob laughs]
Kat: He’s not as nice as his little letters would lead you to believe.
Michael: Well, and speaking of Dumbledore’s letters and his previous correspondence with the Dursleys, I want to wrap up the chapter discussion by just… unfortunately, listeners, I can’t quite get to the Grimmauld Place stuff right now, so I’ll leave that to you in the comments. I highly suggest, though, that you take a look at the Harry Potter Wiki because they have some details about the entailed estate in English common law and how that may have applied to how Harry inherited the house.
Bob: Oh, that’s super cool.
Michael: So take a look at that because it’s very interesting. But I wanted to wrap up this chapter because I just think it’s… with the complaints that I had had in the previous book, specifically about the… I highlighted it in the Grawp chapter about how there was a lot of set-up and immediate payoff in Order of the Phoenix for what was set up. I just wanted to point out some of the things that I was able to pull from Book 6 in the set-up here and from this chapter that are going to be coming up in both Book 6 and Book 7: Scrimgeour and Dumbledore and their tenuous relationship will be recalled in Chapter 16. The Hogwarts security issues will be recalled majorly in Chapter 27. Side-along Apparition is going to pretty much last for the rest of the series, and it’s the first mention of it in the series, but it appeared on that little helpful slip. The Imperius Curse will be recalled in Chapters 12 and 27. Madam Rosmerta is mentioned in this chapter because Dumbledore actually conjures up some of her oak-matured mead. She will come up in Chapter 27, and the oak-matured mead will come up in Chapter 18. The Inferi, which are mentioned in that pamphlet, will come back in Chapter 26, obviously a very major introduction. The ownership of Kreacher will come back in Chapter 19. The returning of Buckbeak to Hogwarts will have a role in Chapter 28, and Harry’s journey with Dumbledore, obviously a running theme, but of course will be majorly recalled in Chapter 26, as is so perfectly summarized by Dumbledore’s final line in the chapter. And there are a lot of lead-ups to Book 7 as well. I didn’t find the specific chapter that they come in, but we get… as Eric mentioned, there is perhaps something to those security questions and other such things that are mentioned in that pamphlet about safety.
Eric: Right, we see the Order themselves use the personal questions that only…
Kat: Mollywobbles.
Michael: Yeah, that will continue from here on through Book 7 as well as Polyjuice Potion, yet again slipping Polyjuice Potion in because we haven’t seen it for a little while. Petunia’s previous correspondence with Dumbledore, and of course, listeners, take note as you read this chapter of Petunia’s reactions to Dumbledore. Dudley’s epiphany in Deathly Hallows is shaped here by Dumbledore pointing out that Dudley has not been treated well. The ownership of Grimmauld Place, of course, will become important. Harry’s coming of age and the end of the blood protection, as we pointed out. And of course, Dumbledore’s hand will be a major issue. And those are just the few things that I could pick out. I’m sure you guys could probably pick out a few more just here, and of course, listeners…
Bob: I love that you went and did these things. I was reading it going, “Oh, this is so… yes, yes, yes, yes.”
Michael: Well, and I really did it because I’ve never realized it before just how… I think there’s actually a lot of – and I found this with some of the previous books as well – chapters where you really think they’re just like this was a fun chapter, but there perhaps wasn’t necessarily a lot of information in here. And I think for a lot of readers this chapter feels this way, and it’s just so… this recalls to me so much some of the earlier books, especially the first three. So it’s fun to see this happening again with Rowling’s writing style because coming off of Order, which is a very serious book, to Half-Blood, which is a pretty… this book… I read through the whole thing before we started with Alohomora!. I reread the whole thing.
Kat: Yeah, you cheater cheater, I saw that.
Michael: Well, I wanted to make sure I get the chapters I want.
[Bob laughs]
Kat: Ohh, that’s how this works. Got it.
Michael: But I forgot how much I laugh aloud at this book.
Kat: It’s a great book.
Michael: This book, I think, is the funniest in the series, and I think Half-Blood Prince frequently gets accused for being the fun one. So just remember, listeners, that there’s a lot of set-up going on in this chapter alone, and not only is it going to be recalled in this book, but there’s a lot of advanced set-up that will come back in Deathly Hallows. And I’m sure… and I ask you, listeners, please, go hunting through this chapter and let me know if you find any more things that you pulled, any connections that are set up here that come back later, because I would love to see more. Because I know there are more here.
Bob: See, that’s why I love this chapter. That’s why I love this chapter.
Michael: It is such a callback, like you were saying, to the earlier books. I mean, Harry is asleep. He doesn’t… he might … I think he jerks awake when he sees this, but the street light goes out. Outside of his… and I’m just like, “Oh my God, that’s how Dumbledore travels.” I got a tear in my eye.
Kat and Michael: Aww.
Eric: … when I saw, “the street lamp go out on Privet Drive below. I’m just like, “This is so Dumbledore.” At the end when he says, “Let us pursue that flighty temptress adventure,” it’s just sets up this huge, awesome, gallivanting journey for him and Dumbledore to take, which lasts throughout this whole book.
Kat: What always bothered me about those first couple of pages is where it says, “The fug on the window from his breath.”
[Bob laughs]
Eric: “From his breath.”
Kat: I was like, “What is ‘fug’?”
Eric: “What is ‘fug’?”
Eric: He’s snoring loudly and there’s fog on his.
Kat: I know. It annoyed me. I hate that word so much..
Eric: We figured out why the first two chapters of this book weren’t centered around Harry, and that’s because he was probably drooling and like…
[Kat laughs]
Eric: … “Oh, here he is snoring loudly, but if you had just been here a moment ago, there [were] copious amounts of drool going down his chin, and be glad that we focused on the Prime Minister and Snape because it was not pretty what Harry was doing.”
[Bob and Michael laugh]
Michael: But thank goodness…
Bob: Isn’t fug just sort of like condensation? That would be what it is?
Michael: Yeah.
Bob: It is a pretty foul word, though, so…
[Eric laughs]
Michael: But thank goodness because we have finally packed up and left Harry’s disgusting, atrocious bedroom to pursue…
[Bob laughs]
Eric: Are they going to clean it?
[Bob laughs]
Eric: You think they’re going to clean it? Or next year, will there just be even more rotted apple cores there?
Kat: Oh, they’re not going in there.
Michael: No.
Eric: Yeah, they don’t go in there. They don’t go in his room.
Michael: No, they probably put caution tape around it. [laughs] Orange cones.
Eric: Not even to be like… I think Dudley misses Harry, and he goes in there and then picks up after the whole thing.
Kat and Michael: Aww.
Eric: I don’t actually think that. That’s terrible.
Bob: Dudley sitting there, holding an eaten apple core in his hand.
[Everyone laughs]
Bob: Weeping.
[Everyone laughs]
Michael: “The magic is gone.”
Bob: “Oh, Harry.”
Eric: That’s pretty… “All the magic is out of my life.” Now I feel like fan fiction writers.
[Kat and Michael laugh]
Michael: I’m sure… now that you said it, it’s out there. There is a fan fiction about Dudley cleaning Harry’s room.
Kat: I was going to say, “They would be in love with each other if it were fan fiction.”
Bob: Yeah, there’s somebody shipping Harry and Dudley.
Eric: Of course they would.
Kat: What would that be? Hudley? Dudrry?
Bob and Michael: Darry.
Eric: I think they would just call it Harry Melling because…
[Everyone laughs]
Kat: Aha!
Eric: Harry and Melling.
[Bob laughs]
Eric: I don’t know.
Michael: Thus ends Chapter 3 of Half-Blood Prince. Quite a bit of set-up for us to look forward to.
Bob: Yay!
Kat: Yippee!
Michael: All right, Eric, what’s the brilliant question.
Eric: So this week’s Podcast Question of the Week. We will get to talk a bit about Kreacher for a little bit here. The question is: When the ownership of Kreacher is uncertain, Dumbledore suggests that Harry “Give him an order. If he has passed into your ownership, he will have to obey. If not, then we shall have to think of some other means of keeping him from his rightful mistress.” If it had turned out that Kreacher did not pass to Harry, what are these “other means” that we think Dumbledore would have suggested or enacted to keep the Order safe from Bellatrix or to keep Kreacher from talking to her? How has Dumbledore kept Kreacher from going to Bellatrix even thus far? We look very forward to all of our passionate listeners thinking about this, turning it around, coming up with some really interesting ideas.
Kat: And speaking of listeners, we want to thank you, Bob, so much for joining us. You were an amazing guest. We hope that you had fun.
Bob: Yeah, I had a great time. It was really… yeah, super fun. Thanks.
Kat: And thanks for staying up until 12:30 in the morning.
Bob: 1:30. [laughs]
Kat: 1:30, oh.
[Michael laughs]
Kat: Sorry, mate.
Bob: You guys are totally worth it, so no worries.
Michael: Aww.
Kat: Aww. You’re kind. You’re a sweetheart. Thank you so much.
Michael: We’re glad you stayed up late to talk to us about Harry Potter and teach us new names for Dumbledore. How do you say Dumbledore’s name?
Bob: Perkamentus with a P.
Michael: Okay.
Bob: Yeah, and Hermione is Hermelien Griffel, which is also whatever.
Michael: Woah.
Kat: Interesting.
Michael: Hermelien Griffel.
[Everyone laughs]
Kat: Not as… not that “Hermione Granger” is really all that beautiful.
[Bob and Michael laughs]
Bob: Yeah.
Michael: Well, if you listeners would like to join us on the show and teach us a few different ways to say the Harry Potter character names, you can do that by going to the “Be on the Show” page on alohomora.mugglenet.com. If you have a set of headphones and a microphone, you pretty much are all set to talk to us. We just want to make sure that you have some good equipment so that we can hear you very clearly when you make all of your excellent points while you’re on the show. And make sure, while you’re also on the Alohomora! website, to download our free ringtone because they’re there.
Kat: Yeah, and why not? It makes your phone sound all snazzy. In the meantime, if you just want to keep in touch with us, you can find us on Twitter at @AlohomoraMN, facebook.com/openthedumbledore, on Tumblr at mnalohomorapodcast. Of course, our phone number is 206-GO-ALBUS; that’s 206-462-5287. And you can leave us an audioBoom like you’ve heard on this episode and so many recently because Half-Blood Prince rocks.
[Michael laughs]
Kat: All you need is an Internet connection and a microphone. It’s free, so just go over to alohomora.mugglenet.com. There’s a little button on the right that says “Record Here.” So just press the button [and] start talking. Try to keep it under 60 seconds as you heard today also. Sometimes that’s a little hard, but if it’s a good comment we’ll play it on the show. So send them in; we want to hear them.
Michael: And, of course, the Alohomora! store is also available for you to make many purchases. We have plenty of shirts available: House shirts, the Desk!Pig, Mandrake Liberation Front, Minerva is my homegirl, so many designs. There [are] lots of neat items to check out, shirts and more, at the Alohomora! store. So make sure [to] make a few purchases.
Bob: What, no flip-flops?
Kat: I’m going to wear my flip-flops in Orlando next week.
Bob: But I have a friend of mine who just went to Australia and it’s summer there, and she could have used flip-flops. Or I use them when I’m at the gym and in the shower, so hey.
Michael: No, madness. It is snowing in New Mexico right now. [laughs]
Eric: Snowing in New Mexico?
Michael: It is snowing today. There’s still snow left.
Eric: If I wanted to check out the weather in New Mexico…
[Michael laughs]
Eric: … or in Orlando where I will also be next week with Kat, I would check it out on my smartphone. And while I’m doing that or after or before, I would also use the Alohomora! app, which of course is a thing that we have. It’s available on this side of the pond and the other. Prices vary. And on this app, you can find transcripts, bloopers, alternate episode endings, host vlogs, and much, much more.
Kat: And I should say that Eric, Kristen, and I – since we’re going to be in Orlando next week – are coming up with some pretty good ideas for some app content.
Eric: We have a really good idea for app content.
Kat: We do.
Eric: Which may make up for the fact that I forgot to do mine last week, so I hope…
Kat: Uh-oh.
Eric: Please, listeners, forgive me. Please forgive me. So definitely check out the website to find out more about how you can download our app.
Michael: But for now, we step out into the night to pursue that flighty temptress, adventure and the end of our show. [laughs]
[Show music begins]
Michael: I’m Michael Harle.
Eric: I’m Eric Scull.
Kat: And I’m Kat Miller. Thank you for listening to Episode 121 of Alohomora!
Michael: [as Dumbledore] Open the Perkamentus.
[Eric and Kat laugh]
[Show music continues]
Kat: [clears throat] Excuse me. Frog in my throat. Okay.
Bob: Cheez-It in your throat.
Kat: Yeah, probably a Cheez-It, actually. You’re probably right.
[Bob, Eric, and Michael laugh]
Eric: That’s disgusting.
[Kat and Michael laugh]
Kat: Yum!
Bob: Sorry.
[Eric, Kat, and Michael laugh]
Kat: It’s okay.
Eric: We should name that Cheez-It Perkamentus.
[Bob and Kat laugh]
Kat: I ate it, though.
[Michael laughs]
Eric: Oh.
Kat: [burps] Excuse me.
Michael: [laughs] Those Cheez-its are something, huh?
[Kat laughs]
